Edie was sobbing.
Shut up, said Laura. Its not like were not going to get out.
And I dont think that sheet worked, said Jessie.
The others turned around, and saw the flames crawling along it.
Jessie! Get up, for Gods sake! said Clare.
Get over here! said Laura.
Will I throw some cider on it? said Jessie.
No! said Laura. Get the fuck away from it!
Dont throw anything on it except water, said Clare.
Lads whats in those bottles under the counter? said Laura. Could any of them be water? Those ones look like camping bottles.
Jessie bent, put down her can, and picked up a bottle.
No, no, no! said Clare. Dont let her near anything! Dont!
Jessie started unscrewing the lid. Im only smelling it. She put it too close to her mouth, and tipped some on to her lips. Oh, God no, she said, recoiling. Thats kerosene. She swung the bottle wide, and everyone watched, horrified, as it sent an arc of fuel across the room.
Nooo! said Edie, hammering on the door, screaming for help.
Get her, Murph! shouted Helen, pointing at Jessie.
Flames were starting to rise. Murph reached a hand towards Jessie. Get the fuck over here now.
Im coming, Im coming, said Jessie. Relax. But she took a step sideways, leaned too far, and then staggered back to the other counter.
OK dont move, said Murph. Youre OK, theres no fire there, but as soon as I get this fucking door open, head for Laura her jackets nice and white, grab the back of it, and go.
Edie and Laura were slamming their hands against the door, screaming for help. Murph pushed in behind them and hammered at the door with the side of his fist.
They heard a shout from outside, Hello? Hello? It was a boys voice.
They all screamed. In here! In here! Were trapped! They banged on the door again.
Hold on! he said. I have a key. Hold on! Stop banging!
It wont work! shouted Murph. The locks fucked. Whos that? Is that Patrick?
Yes!
Help! Edie started screaming. Its Edie! Help!
Thanks be to fuck, Patrick! said Murph. Thanks be to fuck!
OK wait! Wait! he said. Ill get something.
Hurry up! said Edie.
Hurry the fuck up! said Laura.
They could hear him rattling around outside. OK, OK. Stand back a bit.
Jesus, I dont know if we want to do that, said Murph.
Youve not much choice, Patrick said. They could hear the sound of metal in between the door and the door frame. Get back!
They all held hands, and took a small step back. They heard the bang of a hammer against the metal, and the ping as it slid off.
Come on tfuck! said Murph. Jesus Christ! Hurry the fuck up!
Shhh! said Helen, elbowing him. Youre doing a great job, Patrick! she shouted. Keep going. Keep going! Keep your eyes on it, your hand out of the way, and go.
Patrick tried again and the door burst open. They all ran. When they were clear, Murph stood, bent over, his hands on his knees. Jesus, sorry, lads. Im so sorry. Fair play to you, Patrick. Fucks sake. He looked at the others. Lads, we need to get the fuck out of
Wheres Jessie? said Clare.
Everyone looked around.
What? said Patrick. Was Jessie here?
Yes! screamed Helen. Yes! Oh my God!
Patrick turned and ran back.
Edie go! said Helen. Youre the fastest. Go!
Edie ran, quickly catching up with Patrick.
Murph looked at Laura. Was she not hanging out of the back of you Jessie?
What are you on about? said Laura.
I told her hang on to your jacket, said Murph, because it was white and shed see it!
I didnt hear you! said Laura. I didnt hear anything about a jacket. I just thought she was coming out behind me!
Edie and Patrick skidded to a stop at the side door to the dormitory as the wind tore a swathe from the black smoke billowing towards them. They froze. In the clearing, they saw Jessie standing, staring ahead, arms by her side. She was motionless, two steps from the exit, flames encroaching, high and loud and crackling. They screamed her name. She didnt blink. They screamed again. Jessie closed her eyes, and they watched as she let the flames engulf her.
Edie grabbed for Patricks arm, clawing at it with desperate hands, her fingers digging into his flesh. They turned to each other, wild-eyed, mouths open, chests heaving. In the fractional moment their eyes met, they made an unspoken pact: they would never mention what they had seen to another soul.
Or maybe it was a shared granting of permission to lose the memory to a confusion of smoke or shock.
4
Edie parked at the bottom of the steps to the inn. She glanced down at the folder on the passenger seat research she had gathered on the history of Pilgrim Point. She wanted to be able to talk to the guests about it, or include interesting details on the website or in printed cards she would leave in the bedrooms. When she bumped into Murph the previous summer, she told him her plans, and the following day, when he was meeting Johnny in town, he transferred four boxes of his late fathers research into the boot of Johnnys car.
Edie opened the folder and saw two pages, titled In a Manor of Silence. In all she had read about Pilgrim Point, the words of Henry Rathbrook were the ones that resonated the most even when she learned that they were not an extract from the handwritten manuscript of a published book, but were among the scattered remains of patient files discovered in an abandoned asylum.
Edie pulled up the hood of her rain coat, tucked her hair inside, and made the short dash up the steps. She pushed through the front door, and let it close gently behind her. Look where my rich imagination got me, she thought. The hall was exactly how she had pictured it on the day of the viewing. But how it looked and how it felt were on two different frequencies. Did it matter that each beautiful choice she had made could light up the eyes of their guests if the pilot light in their heart had blown as soon as they walked through the door? She would watch their gaze as it moved across the floors and walls, up the stone staircase, along the ornate carvings of the cast iron balustrade, and higher again to the decorative cornices of the ceiling, the elaborate ceiling rose, and the sparkling Murano glass chandelier that hung from it. Then she would graciously accept the praise that always followed, pretending not to notice the small spark of panic in their eyes or the tremor in their smile.
It was as if a signal was being fired off inside them: no, we dont smile at things like this, not in places like this, because something is not right. Something is wrong.
She would see some beautiful, eager young girl arriving with her young boyfriend who had spent a months wages on one weekend, and he would beam as her eyes lit up, but Edie would see the rest. She knew it wasnt because this girl felt out of place everyone was made to feel welcome at the inn because everyone was welcome. But sometimes Edie felt that the reason everyone was welcome was not because that was her job, not because the vast extravagance of the refurbishment had plunged them into an alarming amount of debt, not because a family has living expenses, and Dylan has to be put through college, but because she hoped that one day, someone would walk in and they would light up and it would be pure, there would be no strange aftertaste, and the spell would be broken.
Edie shook off her jacket and hung it on the carved oak hallstand. She paused as she heard the sound of a door slamming, and heavy footsteps echoing towards her.
Dad wont let me go to Mallys tonight! said Dylan, stomping half way across the hall. He stood with his hands on his hips, his face red, his chest heaving.
Dylan! said Edie. Calm down, please.
Johnny appeared behind Dylan.
And why does it even matter, said Dylan, glancing back at him, when youre all going to be here partying anyway?
Partying? said Johnny. Its Helens forty-seventh birthday were hardly going to be dancing the night away.
Dylan looked at him, wide-eyed. Oh my God! That is so mean!
Johnny stared at him, bewildered.
Mom did you hear that? said Dylan. Just because Helens in a wheelchair.
Johnny did a double take. What? He looked at Edie, then back at Dylan. Dylan that had nothing to do with Helen being in a wheelchair. That was about us being so old that we dont have the energy to dance.
Well, thats depressing, said Dylan.
Edie started to laugh.
Well, Id rather depress you than be accused of making fun of Helen, said Johnny.
Helen was Dylans godmother, and he was fiercely protective of her.
Helen was diagnosed with MS ten years ago, and had been in a wheelchair for the past three years, and still, when Edie saw her, she could get hit with the unfairness of it. Even though Helen was such a part of their lives. Before the diagnosis, Helen had been fit, strong, the director of nursing in the local hospital, living with her partner, who left her as soon as her symptoms started to really show. She was still in the relapsing-remitting stage, but her condition was slowly deteriorating. She had an older sister in Cork, but they werent close, and apart from her friends from the hospital, Johnny Dylan and Edie were the ones who helped her out the most.
Jesus, Dylan, said Johnny, you have to stop attacking people because of some assumption
Says the guy roaring at Terry earlier, said Dylan.
I wasnt roaring at him, said Johnny. We were having a discussion.
Dylan made air quotes.
Johnny turned to Edie. All that was going on with Terry is I asked him to board up the chapel windows properly, with decent timber, so they wouldnt look like an eyesore, and instead he throws up some bullshit with streaks of paint and black God-knows-what all over it. Do you want the lads arriving in and seeing that?
Itll be dark, said Dylan.
Not in the morning when theyre getting the tour, said Johnny. And whats with you defending Terry all of a sudden? Last week he was the worst in the world.
Because he thinks Im the person who smashed the windows! said Dylan. Which, Id like to repeat, I am not. Terry spots someone in jeans and a hoodie running away from the scene and its automatically me.
Johnny gestured to Dylans jeans and hoodie, and shrugged.
Literally, everyone dresses like this, said Dylan.
But you can see where hes coming from, said Johnny. He calls me to say hes caught you and Mally in the confession box in the chapel
Edie looked at Johnny. Can we stop this
No, said Johnny. He still hasnt given us an explanation.
Stop making it sound so creepy, said Dylan.
You were supposed to be in school! said Johnny. The one day were in Cork trying to get stuff done
I dont know why he had to call you, said Dylan.
Heres why, said Johnny. Health and safety. The chapels a building site, basically, you had no hard hats on you
Hard hats, said Dylan. He rolled his eyes. Mally thought the whole thing was
Why would I care what Mally thinks? said Johnny.
Dylan looked at Edie. Seriously, Mom what is his problem with her?
I dont have a problem with Mally, said Johnny.
Dylans phone beeped. He took it out of his pocket, and read the WhatsApp message. Well, I cant not go now, he said. Because Mallys already on her way over here. In the rain. I cant suddenly go Oh sorry go home. Oh and I cant come back with you later.
Edie turned to Johnny, her eyebrows raised. He gave her a resigned look.
So shes going to be here for the day while your mothers trying to get the place ready for tonight? said Johnny.
Theyll be over at the house, said Edie.
Obviously, said Dylan. He looked at Johnny. Can I go now?
Yes, said Edie.
And can I go over to Mallys later? said Dylan.
Yes, said Edie.
Thanks, Mom. He walked across the hall and they waited for him to disappear down the stairs.
Why do you always have to do that? said Johnny.
Oh, good God, said Edie. Grow up. What is your issue with him going over there, all of a sudden? I dont want to have to deal with any meltdowns tonight, and if hes over there
Shes a bad influence on him, said Johnny. She always s just in your face. Shes nosy. Shes
Edie gave him a patient look.
Look I know shes no fan of mine, said Johnny, but thats not the point. Theyre always whispering and skulking about the place.
For Gods sake, said Edie. Theyre sixteen. Well
And thats the other thing why is a nineteen-year-old college girl hanging out with a sixteen-year-old boy? Its weird.
Edie raised an eyebrow. From the twenty-one-year-old with his eye on the sixteen-year-old?
Thats different. And different times. He put his hands on his hips. And what makes you think hes going to have a meltdown?
Look at him, said Edie. Hes exhausted.
Because he was up all night watching Netflix! said Johnny. He knows this is a big night, its important to you, and
Well, I hope its important to you too
Oh, for fucks sake. I said you because he doesnt give a shit what I think. He needs to get his head out of his arse!
Hes sixteen, said Edie. Hes cripped with
Oh God, said Johnny. Anxiety the Get Out of Jail card
Edie stared at him.
Sorry, said Johnny. But if he really had no control over his emotions, how am I the one who gets Angry Dylan and you get sad face? Or Hugs?
Were not getting into
No, said Johnny. But
Edie shook her head. No
You know what you should do, said Johnny, show him some of your research photos from the industrial school with those skinny little bastards running around out there not a Netflick to their names.
Hes already been rooting through my research, said Edie.
Jesus Christ. No wonder he has anxiety.
Why do you have such a problem with it? said Edie.
Because it freaks you out, said Johnny.
It doesnt freak me out, said Edie. And I dont have time for this. I have too much to do.
I told you we should have got one of the chefs in, said Johnny. We should have got staff in, full stop.