Hey, come on. There was a lot of mutual seducing going on, if youll recall.
Oh, yeah, he recalled. And so did she, judging from the way she was breathing, quick and shallow, and the flare of heat in her eyes.
You know, this doesnt sound much like an apology, he said.
Im getting there. Let me finish.
Ive got all night. He couldnt be sure, because the light was so dim, but he thought she blushed. That was something he loved about redheads, about Annie in particular. It was so easy to make her blush.
Going to bed with you wasnt a premeditated act. It just happened. And afterward I knew I should go home and forget about it, get on with my studies, but I couldnt make myself leave.
He remembered that. He remembered how shed talked about getting home, how hed actually walked her to her car, but then theyd started kissing again, and shed forgotten all about leaving. Somehow shed ended up staying with him all nightthen all the next day, then through the weekend.
They hadnt been able to get enough of each other. Hed been crazy about her, unable to think of anything elseeven his upcoming rodeo events. Nothing had ever before distracted him from his obsession.
I guess I needed that time away from my studying more than I knew, she said. It felt like a drug in my system. The longer I pretended to be Annie, the less I wanted to go back to reality.
Did you ever think that maybe Annie is your reality? And the other is just an elaborate personality youve invented?
She looked at him sharply. Annie isnt real. Im not like her. I dont flirt and I dont dress that way. Im a very serious person who is pursuing a very demanding career. Practicing law has always been my dream, and Im almost there.
Well. Shed told him. Did you flunk your exams?
No. I left you early that Monday morning because I had a test at ten oclock.
You could have woke me up and told me that.
She shook her head. I was afraid youd talk me into staying. I was really scared by what Id done, Wade. I panicked. I ran back to the world where I belonged. You and the rodeothat was a fantasy.
He stood up, angered by her words, and made a mock bow. Glad I could oblige. But next time you need to blow off steam, try racquetball.
I didnt think it would matter to you. We both knew it was a temporary thing. You were on the road. I figured you slept with a different girl in every town, that youd be glad I left without all those uncomfortable goodbyes.
Yeah, well, youre right. It stung a little, waking up in that empty bunk, not even a note, but it wasnt all that hard to find a replacement. Big lie. He hadnt slept with anyone since Annie. Too busy, too focused on the competition. Anyway, every time he looked at an attractive woman now, he compared her to Annie and found her lacking.
Annie had spoiled him.
Thats what I figured. Her voice cracked, making Wade wonder if his barb had found its mark. Did she have any feelings about what happened between them?
What you did wasnt very nice, he said. Even if it was just a casual affair.
Im sorry I didnt handle the situation better. I was out of my element. Id never had a one-night stand before.
Three nights. Three glorious, earth-shattering, life-altering nights of the steamiest lovemaking hed ever experienced.
Three nights, she agreed. It was a wonderful weekend, the bestOh, hell, Im going to blow it now.
I dont think so. Finish what you were saying. My ego could use a boost.
She turned away from him. It was the best time I ever had.
He came up quietly behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She tensed, so he didnt push itdidnt press his lips to that sensitive place on her neck he knew about, didnt pull the pins out of that ridiculously tight knot her hair was in, didnt wrap his arms around her body and hold her fast against him until she agreed not to run.
He knew running was exactly what she had in mind, and there was probably nothing he could do about it.
I guess youre not here to take up where we left off, he said.
I cant.
Why not?
She stepped out of his loose grasp and turned to face him. A casual affair just isnt my style. Anyway, you wouldnt really want to bother with me. Im so completely different from Annie.
Maybe youd be more like her if youd smile once in a while. Is that some kind of lifestyle choice?
I dont have anything to smile about right now, okay?
Your dream coming true doesnt make you smile?
It hasnt come true yet. I dont have a job. I havent passed the bar. Lots of hurdles to jump.
So youre under a lot of stress.
Yes. Exactly.
He ran one finger down her cheek, gratified to feel her tremble. Nice to know he still had some effect on her. I know a really good stress buster. Its called Cowboy Valium.
She hesitated a fraction of a second longer, then jumped out of his reach. No. Thats not why I came here. And if you chose this isolated place for us to meet so you could seduce me, youre in for a disappointment.
As I recall, lady, you were the one who insisted on privacy.
It would be pointless to start something. Ill be leaving town again in a couple of weeks. And I cant afford any distractions. Ive got job interviews, Ive got to study for the bar
Who are you trying to convince?
Im just not the temporary-fling type.
Neither was he. But unlike Anne, he wasnt convinced a fling was all they could have. Sure, the circumstances worked against them, but anything was possible if they put their minds to it.
If he spoke his thoughts out loud, she would probably break something running away from him. A skit-tish woman like Anne required careful handling.
The kindest thing he could do right now was let her go. Unfortunately, he wasnt feeling kind. You cant tell me youre not real, Annie.
Stop calling me Annie.
The woman called Annie is part of you. You cant convince me otherwise. And if you ask me, Annie is worth a dozen uptight, frowning, defeminized, frumpish Anne Chatsworths. A fat paycheck and a sixty-hour workweek wont keep you warm at night, and it wont make you laugh, and itll probably send you to an early grave. Stress does that, you know.
She was silent, and Wade was afraid hed gone too far. So much for careful handling.
She turned and stalked out of the barn, and Wade didnt follow her. Moments later he heard her car starting, then tires spinning in dirt as she peeled out.
ANNE FUMED the whole way home. She was so mad, in fact, that she forgot to be quiet when she pulled her car into the driveway. She got out and slammed the door, then made all kinds of noise as she entered the same way shed come out.
Uptight, frowning, defeminized, frumpish Just because she wasnt wearing tight jeans and a low-cut blouse? Because she hadnt troweled on two pounds of makeup, and her hair wasnt teased up Dolly Parton big?
How dare Wade Hardison try to tell her how to live her life? Just because shed spent a weekend with him, did that make him think he knew everything about her?
She was furious that he made her so tongue-tied, really ticked that hed gotten in the last word. What kind of lawyer would she be if she froze up when an opponent got the advantage? Shed completely lost her cool. And, damn it, her cool was one of the few things she had going for her right now.
She was furious that he made her so tongue-tied, really ticked that hed gotten in the last word. What kind of lawyer would she be if she froze up when an opponent got the advantage? Shed completely lost her cool. And, damn it, her cool was one of the few things she had going for her right now.
Anne?
Anne stopped short as she entered the kitchen. Her father was making himself a cup of hot cocoa. Oh, hi, Dad. Stay calm, dont let him see that anythings wrong. He would only worry about her.
Where have you been? he asked with a frown. I thought youd gone to bed.
I couldnt sleep, so I went for a drive.
Why didnt you let us know you were leaving?
Cmon, Dad, Im not sixteen anymore.
I know, honey, but were still allowed to worry about you, arent we? If your mother had stopped in your room to say good-night, she would have been frantic to find you gone.
Anne sighed. Youre right. Im sorry. Ill be more considerate in the future.
Milton smiled. Want some hot chocolate? Might help you sleep.
No, thanks. Im tired now. Good night. She kissed her father on the cheek, then slipped up the back stairs, avoiding her mother and the inevitable questions. Shed probably still get them at breakfast tomorrow, but shed be in better shape to answer them after a good nights sleep.
If she could get one. She was still steamed, and her blood felt hot in her veinsnot just from anger, but desire. She still wanted Wade Hardisons body with the same intensity shed experienced at the rodeo, despite everything that had happened. She could still feel the warm pressure of his hands on her shoulders, the tickle of his breath against her neck. Though she would never admit it, it had taken all of her willpower to turn down Wades suggestion that they take up where theyd left off.
She would just have to avoid him for however long he was in town. Which reminded herhow long was he in town? Why was he here, when hed sworn to her he would never go home, never be forgiven by his family? What had changed his mind?
ON HIS WAY BACK to the house, Wade stopped in the new, modern barn his brother Jonathan had built. He wanted to check on Traveler. The bay quarter horse stood in his stall, completely still, probably asleep. Normally Traveler was alert the moment anyone came near him. His inertia concerned Wade almost as much as the injury. Maybe it was the medicine.
Wade resisted the urge to scratch the stallions forelock, Travelers favorite form of affection. The horse might need to sleep.
He started to turn away, then heard a familiar nicker. He turned and smiled. Traveler must have caught his scent and wakened. Wade scratched the horses black forelock, like hed wanted to do, then behind his ears, then rubbed the soft skin under his jaw. Traveler nuzzled Wades ear, then searched his hands for a treat.
Sorry, buddy, I gave you the last carrot after dinner. Traveler made a pleading noise, and Wade, as usual, caved in. Oh, all right. But too many treats while you cant exercise, and youll get fat. He found a handful of oats and fed it to the horse, grateful that at least Traveler had rediscovered his appetite. For a couple of days after his injury, when hed been in pain and pumped up with drugs, hed wanted nothing to do with food.
Wade changed the compress on Travelers right front leg, then spent a few minutes grooming him, even though he didnt need it. Still, he knew the horse enjoyed the attention. Traveler had always loved to have Wade curry him. He even stood still while Wade worked a tangle out of his tail.
That done, Wade gave the stallion a few parting pats, then headed back to the house. It was after midnight. He doubted anyone would be up to question what he was doing out so late.
As he poured himself a glass of milk, he thought again about the woman who called herself Anne Chatsworth. He actually liked her more serious side, despite what hed said. Life wasnt all fun and games, as it had been for Annie.
Anne was very different from the flirtatious, easygoing country girl whod wooed him at the rodeo in Dallasand yet he saw flashes of Annie rippling to the surface every now and then. Annie wasnt some fictitious character, she was a very real part of Anne that had somehow been vanquished.
By whom or what? he wondered. And when?
It was fine for a woman to want a career. He knew what it was like to be focused on a goal, to think about it night and day, to dream about reaching the top. Lord knew hed spent a good deal of his life in that very state. Sure, there were frustrations along the way. Stress. Setbacks. Doubts. But his rodeo work had always brought him joy. His eyes were always on the goal, but he hadnt been so obsessed that he hadnt enjoyed the journey.
Joy seemed to be missing from Annes life. She was on the verge of embarking on the path shed been preparing for all these years, yet he sensed no anticipation, no excitement. She probably had her pick of law firms. She could go to any city she wanted, explore all kinds of different career possibilities. Yet all he sensed in her was sorrow.
Maybe it was none of his business, but he couldnt leave it at that. Hed seen what happened to people who werent living a life that made them happy. His mother was the perfect example. Shed been brilliantcould have been a Nobel prize-winning scientist. But shed met Wades father at some medical conference and had opted for the life of a small-town doctors wife.
The lack of intellectual stimulation had ultimately killed her. Oh, technically it was cancer, but Wade had recognized that shed lost the will to live.
One of the last things shed told him was that he had to follow his dream, even if it wasnt the same dream his family wanted for him. Hed held those words close to his heart, followed her advice and never regretted it.
What he did regret was the way hed left Cottonwoodangry, bitter, full of the bullheaded pride only a teenage boy can exhibit. Too damn proud to apologize for things he never should have said. He regretted the family rift, one he could have healed a long time ago if hed tried.
To Wades surprise he found his brother Jonathan in the den watching TV. Jonathan was a rancher down to his marrow, which meant early mornings. He was seldom up past nine oclock in the evening.
Wade considered sneaking on up to bed, then decided he might be passing up an opportunity. It was hard to talk to Jonathan because he was always so busy. The man hardly ever stood still.
Wade stepped into the den and without a word plopped down on the couch and propped his booted feet on the coffee table. If Jonathan was in the mood to talk, hed say something. If not, well, a few minutes of companionable silence wouldnt hurt.
Jonathan was watching an old John Wayne movie. Typical. Wade wasnt a big fan of the Duke, but he watched, anyway.
Where you been? Jonathan finally asked.
With Traveler.
He doin any better?
Swellings down. Doc Chandler says we can start physical therapy tomorrow.
Good. If anyone can get your old horse back in top form, Chandler can.
Hes not old.
Hes thirteen.
Lots of horses compete well into their teens. A long pause. Then Jonathan asked, Seen the new filly Larrys been training?
The black? Yeah, nice-looking animal.
Rodeo potential?