Gabe had never been jealous. Hell, hed been happy that Erik had found a woman to love. At least that was how hed felt until he realized that his best friend wasnt the best husband in the world.
Erik had always been a flirt. He seemed to thrive on the attentions of beautiful women. But when a guy got married, all the extracurricular activities was supposed to stop. At least that was what Gabe had always believed. But Erik had kept right on, with a girlfriend in every port. Theyd argued over it twice and for a while Gabe had thought it might be the end of their friendship.
Five years later, Gabe wasnt sure if hed ever given up the girls. Erik stopped confiding in him. And when they went out, he was friendly to the ladies but left alone at the end of the night. They simply never spoke of it.
I should get back to the house, she murmured. Eriks parents are coming for dinner andYou wouldnt want to stay, would you? They love having you around. She glanced over at him. I like having you around. Right now, Im having a hard time dealing with them.
Why is that?
They asked me the other night if there was any chance that I might be pregnant. I can hear the disappointment in their voices. It was my duty to provide a grandchild, and I didnt get it done. Annie shook her head. I...Im sure theyll want to say goodbye before you leave.
Annie stared into his eyes, and he could see the tears begin to fall down her pale cheeks. Gabe didnt know what to do. Theyd been talking about dinner, and suddenly tears. What could he say?
At a loss, he reached out and gently pulled her into his arms, holding her close as she wept against his chest. This round of tears seemed to be much worse than the previous few. Her tears soaked the front of his T-shirt, her fingers clutching at the faded cotton.
Its going to be all right, he said softly.
Youd think Id be out of tears by now, she whispered. I think Im finally done crying, and then I realize Im all alone. Hes not coming back.
Youre not alone, he said. If you need anything, you can always call me. He smoothed his fingers over her cheeks, wiping away the tears. Youll be all right. Youre strong and youre smart. Youre the most amazing woman I know.
Annie frowned, and Gabe cursed inwardly. Hed gone too far. Hed revealed too much. He wanted to turn and walk away before he made any further mistakes. But instead, he let his heart overrule his brain. Cupping her cheek in his hand, he bent close and kissed her.
It seemed like the only thing left to do, something hed been thinking about since the moment they first met. How many nights had he imagined what it might be like to hold her in his arms, to be the one that she waited for day after day, to know that she loved him? And how many times had he flown a mission wondering if his last chance might be taken away by an enemy RPG or a laser-guided missile?
Her lips were soft and warm, and Gabe gently probed the crease of her mouth with his tongue, deepening the kiss. She moaned, then suddenly pressed her hands to his chest, pushing him away.
Sometimes, a guy didnt get a second chance. Gabe knew that better than anyone. Hell, Annie knew it, too. You had to seize the moment. No regrets. And yet, by the look on her face, all that Gabe could feel was regret.
She stared up at him and a heartbeat later her palm met his cheek, stunning him back to reality. Gabe opened his mouth to speak, but she held out her hand to stop him.
You need to leave. Right now. Just go, please.
Annie, I
I dont want to hear it, she said, placing her hands over her ears and shaking her head. Her eyes flooded with tears. Get out.
As he walked out of the shed, Gabe cursed himself. What the hell had he been thinking? Hed spent his whole professional career as a pilot making decisions based on a cold, rational assessment of a situation. It had kept him alive in a dangerous world. And now, the first time hed ever listened to his heart, hed managed to screw the pooch.
Hed never see her again. Shed remember this moment forever and always hate him for it. Hed betrayed his best friend, and now hed be left to suffer for it.
1
ANNIE JENNINGS ADJUSTED the delicate lace wedding veil, watching the reflection in the mirror. Perfect, she murmured.
Where did you find it? Lisa asked.
Packed away in my closet at home. It was my great-grandmothers. My grandmother wore it and so did my mother. Annie sighed. I was stubborn and thought it looked too old-fashioned, so I chose my own veil. But I knew youd love it. Youve always appreciated vintage things more than I have.
A warm breeze fluttered at the lace curtains of the old farmhouse. Outside, in the pretty orchard, the guests were assembling, ready to witness the wedding of Captain Jacob Nellie Maranello and Annies best friend, Lisa Romanoski. The rural setting in coastal North Carolina was perfect for a sunny Saturday in early June.
Are you sure you want me to wear it? Lisa asked. Maybe youll want to wear it someday.
Annie shrugged. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe Ive had my one great love. Who says Ill find another?
She carefully spread the veil behind her friend. Lisa was the only military wife shed kept in touch with after Eriks death. Erik had served in Jacobs squadron, and theyd been stationed together since flight school at Pensacola. Jacob had also been in Eriks class at the academy, though hed spent two years in Afghanistan before being accepted to the academy.
Annie grabbed a small bag from the bed and withdrew a faded velvet box and held it out to her. Here. This is something borrowed.
The veil is borrowed, Lisa said.
Annie shook her head. Thats something old. Your dress is new. This is borrowed and... She pulled a garter out of the bag. This garter is blue.
I am not going to wear a garter. I may appreciate vintage things, but Im definitely not a traditional bride. And we are certainly not going to do that horrible garter thing.
You certainly arent traditional. You and Nellie have three kids. You make your own yogurt. Your children are named Sky, River and Breeze. Youre serving tofu at your reception, and I dont think you own a pair of shoes that arent Birkenstocks. But you can bow to this one tradition. For your matron of honor?
Rolling her eyes, Lisa yanked up her skirt and pulled the garter over her bare foot. Then she took the velvet box from Annies outstretched hand. She opened it to find a pair of diamond chandelier earrings in a platinum Art Deco setting.
I remember these, Lisa said. I helped you put them on at your wedding.
My grandmother gave these to me along with the veil. Theyll go perfectly with your dress and your hair.
Lisa gave her a hug. I love them. Thank you. She bent closer to the mirror and put them on, then turned to show Annie. What do you think?
The most beautiful bride in the world, Annie said, her eyes filling with tears. She couldnt help but remember her own wedding day. All her dreams and hopes tied up in a white dress and veil. Sorry, she murmured, turning away from Lisa to busy herself with her own jewelry.
Lisa sat on the edge of the bed, a frown of concern etched across her brow, then patted the spot beside her. Annie reluctantly joined her.
Lisa sat on the edge of the bed, a frown of concern etched across her brow, then patted the spot beside her. Annie reluctantly joined her.
Im crying because Im happy for you, Annie said.
Its been over a year, Lisa said.
One year, five months and about sixteen days. I know how long its been. Believe me, Ive felt every one of those days.
I want you to have fun today. Dance and laugh and drink too much. Find yourself a handsome man and flirt a little bit. Maybe even kiss him.
I want to do that. But I just feel like Im betraying him. Like its too soon.
Lisa gave her hand a squeeze. You cant go on like this, she said. He would have wanted you to be happy.
I know. And Ive been thinking about whats been holding me back. It felt like there was something unfinished between us. And I finally realized what it was. The Honeymoon.
I thought you never had a honeymoon.
We didnt. We got married and he left for basic two days later. But I was talking about the boat. The sailboat he bought with our wedding money. We were going to sail around the world with it.
That wreck you keep in your boathouse? Lisa asked.
Its not a wreck anymore. After I had it trucked out here from San Diego, I decided to spend some time fixing it up. And its almost ready to sail. In a few months, Im going to sail it to California. And if that goes well, I may just decide to keep going.
Lisa shook her head. California? So youre just going to sail on down to the Panama Canal all by yourself. What about hurricanes? What about pirates and drug runners and...and whales? Whales run into sailboats all the time. Havent you read Moby Dick?
Im well aware of the dangers, Annie said. Ive been sailing since I was a kid. This is something I need to do. I think maybe it might be the closure I need. Ill take the honeymoon we never had, and then Ill sell the boat in California and come back here.
Well, I think its a crazy idea. If you want closure, you need to find yourself a new man. And there are plenty of handsome, single men invited to this wedding.
And all of them are in the military, Annie said.
My soon-to-be husband was in charge of that side of the guest list, so I cant be blamed. Whats wrong with a military man?
I dont think I can go through all of that again. The waiting, the worrying. I just want a regular guy. An accountant or a salesman. Someone who will be home every night and doesnt have anyone shooting at him.
I know exactly what you mean. Thats why I refused to marry Nellie for so long, Lisa said. I waited until he was done with active duty.
You have three children, Annie said.
I couldnt help myself. But now hes home and safe. Its the right time. The kids are old enough to start questioning why Mommy and Daddy have different last names. Nellies got an engineering job lined up with Lockheed, and were going to finally live a normal life.
A knock sounded on the door, and Annie went over to open it. Lisas six-year-old daughter, Sky, waited on the other side. She was a bridesmaid and carried three bouquets in her arms.
Grandma said I should bring these to you and that theyre ready for you to come down.
She handed Annie a simple clutch of daisies and gave her mother a bouquet of white roses. Lisa gave her daughter a hug. Do you remember what to do?
Sky nodded. I walk with Riv on this side and Breezie on this side. And Riv carries the rings and Breezie throws the petals. And then we stand next to Annie and try not to squirm. And if were good, we get to drink as much soda as we want to.
Annie laughed. Thats a nice reward.
You dance with a few men, and Ill let you have soda, too, Lisa said.
All right. Annie grabbed Skys hand. Lets go have a wedding. Are you excited?
The little girl nodded.
Me, too. They walked out into the hall, Lisa trailing behind them. As they reached the first floor, the rest of the bridal party was waiting. River and Breezie looked more nervous than excited, as did Lisas father, John.
They arranged themselves on the back deck, taking last-minute instructions from Lisa, before they began their walk to the orchard. They were in sight of the guests when a dark-haired man in a blue Oxford shirt came jogging past them.
He turned and faced Lisa, his hands up, his expression contrite. Sorry Im late. You look great. Where should I go?
Gabe! We didnt think youd make it.
Change of plans, he said. He glanced over at Annie and for an instant their gazes locked. The smile faded from his face. Annie? What are you doing here?
She swallowed hard, unable to fashion a coherent reply. All that she could manage was a very meek Hello.
He quickly turned and headed toward the gathering of guests. Annie let out a tightly held breath and tried to keep her whole body from melting into a puddle. How many times over the past seventeen months had she thought about that kiss? Too many to count. And every time it had come to mind, always in speculation of what might have happened had she responded, it had been followed by waves of guilt.
What was that? Lisa asked, looking back and forth between the retreating Gabe and her matron of honor.
Nothing, Annie murmured. I was just startled. I didnt know you were going to invite him.
Hes one of Nellies buddies. Remember? He and Nellie were in flight school together.
I remember. Erik, too. She drew a ragged breath. I...I just havent seen him since that night. You know, the kiss.
Lisas mother grabbed her daughters arm. Darling, theyre waiting. We need to go. Were already seven minutes late.
Theyll wait, Lisa said. She turned back to Annie. What kiss?
Didnt I tell you about that? Annie asked.
No.
Oh, I thought I had. Well, a few weeks after Eriks funeral, Gabe kissed me. In the boat shed. We were talking and I was crying and he was holding me and...it just happened.
Darling, theyve started the processional music. Everyone is waiting.
Mother, Im the bride. Nellie has been waiting all these years to marry me. Believe me, hell wait a few minutes longer.
Im fine, Annie said. We have to go. She took Rivers hand and gently drew him along. Come on, lets go get married. Your mother and I can talk later.
Damn right well be talking later, Lisa muttered. Im going to want all the details.
When they reached the far end of the aisle, Annie sent the children down, pointing to their father and their uncle Peter, who were waiting next to the minister. River chose to run, while Breeze took her job seriously, plucking one pink rose petal at a time from the basket and placing it on the ground in front of her. Meanwhile, Sky was forced to walk at a snails pace behind her, rolling her eyes and urging her little sister to speed it up.
The processional music finished before Annie had even taken a step up the aisle, so to everyones laughter, the vocalist began the song all over. Annie slowly walked toward the flower-covered arbor, her gaze fixed on the white ribbons as they blew in the breeze.
She knew he was watching her, but she was afraid to look around and risk meeting his gaze. If she had told Lisa about the kiss, then she could have written this off as a setup, pure and simple. They were best friends and she should have at least mentioned it. But Annie had kept that night a secret and, over time, tried to rationalize her response.