The explosion had taken victims outside the building as well as in, Ethan thought, feeling the acid burn of anger in his gut.
Ethan!
He turned at the sound of Roberts voice, and saw PPSs founder loping across the deserted street toward him. The men gripped each others forearms in greeting, the first friendly contact Ethan could remember between them. Hows Evangeline? he asked.
Shell need a few stitches, but is fine otherwise. Shes spitting mad. Wants to take a chunk out of the bomber. The last was said with a touch of pride.
Ill ditto that. Half his attention on the paramedics, who were busy transferring Nicole to a gurney, Ethan gestured to the stained sidewalk. Pedestrian?
Robert nodded, expression darkening. Falling debris caught a mother and her two kids. Doesnt look good for the little girl.
Damn. Ethan scowled. It had been bad enough when the mastermind had started killing off TCMs investors one by one. It had been worse when theyd murdered a PPS computer tech and then slapped Evangelines name on the list, but at the very least those targets had been logical. Now theyd escalated way beyond that to injuring innocent bystanders like the mother and her children. Like Nicole, whod come to tell him he was a father.
Ethan glanced over at her, seeing the beauty beneath the oxygen mask as the paramedics loaded her into the waiting ambulance.
Her face had popped into his head more often than he cared to admit in the weeks since hed met her.
That night, a friends weddingand the memories itd broughthad chased him out of the reception and into a tourist-trap bar. He hadnt noticed her at first, hadnt had eyes for much other than the glass in front of him. He wouldve had to have been dead, though, to miss noticing when she leaned across him to snag a napkin, pressing against him just long enough to let him know she was looking to play.
Hed been struck first by her dark curls, then by her eyes, which were a strangely intense shade of blue, bordering on violet. Rimmed by dark lashes, theyd looked moments away from laughter all the time, even when shed been serious. During those serious moments, shed caught her full lower lip between her teeth, an action thatd left him hard and wanting.
Then later, once the small talk was done and they were alone in the hotel room theyd rented because neither of them had been sober enough to drive home, shed caught her bottom lip in her teeth again at the moment of her climax, prompting him to capture that lower lip with his own mouth and nibble it into submission.
Afterward, shed looked at him with a hint of wonder in those violet eyes, a hint of shyness. All an act, hed thought at first, designed to keep a bar conquest intrigued. But during the long hours of the night, small inconsistencies had added up in his carefully logical brain, leaving him wondering whether that night had been as out of character for her as it had been for him.
Hed resigned himself to never knowing for sure. Now, it seemed hed been given a second chance to find out.
Did you hear me? Robert said, tone sharp.
Sorry, Ethan said without looking at his boss. How about I meet you and Evangeline at the hospital?
You need a ride?
Im all set. He strode toward the ambulance theyd loaded Nicole into, only to stop and turn back when Robert called his name. What? he said, voice edgy with impatience and something more, something he didnt want to analyze too closely.
Robert looked from Ethan to the ambulance and back. Who is she?
Shes Ethan broke off, not sure what she was. She wasnt a friend, wasnt his lover, yet shed come to tell him she was carrying his child. Shes not a client, he said shortly, and headed for the ambulance.
Theyd figure out the rest once she woke up.
TERRIFIED, Nicole screamed and batted at the blurry shadows around her, fighting the feeling of weightlessness, of falling.
Then she was on the ground without hitting bottom, and something was pressing her down, trapping her arms and legs. She screamed again and fought the hold. Let me go!
A mans voice said, Nicole, youre okay. Youre safe. Calm down and listen to me. Youre in the hospital, not the elevator. Youre okay. The words were more rough than soothing, but they calmed her while sending up a strange shimmy inside.
She woke further, feeling warmth where his hands gripped her forearms. The voice and touch were familiar, but she couldnt think of his name, couldnt picture his face, and that brought a spurt of renewed panic, which took up residence alongside a pounding headache.
Opening her eyes, she squinted into the night-dim lights of a hospital room and saw a tall man wearing wrinkled khaki bush pants and a smudged white button-down missing a couple of buttons. His dark brown hair brushed over his forehead, streaked with highlights she imagined might be gold in better light. His eyes were dark brown and intelligent beneath heavy brows, his nose aquiline, his jaw chiseled. The whole effect was compelling and more than a little distant.
And it was a strangers face.
Why am I in the hospital? she demanded. Who are you?
Before he could answer, the hallway door swung open and a white-coated, dark-haired female doctor entered. Her expression softened when she looked at the bed. Its good to see you awake, Miss Benedict.
Panic pounded through Nic as she pointed to the man. I dont know him.
The doctor pursed her lips, leaned down and flashed a penlight in Nics eyes. Follow this. She kept up a background monologue as she ran through a quick exam. Im Dr. Eballathats with an a and two ls, please, not Ebola like the virus. She paused and wrote something on a clipboard, then said, Your vitals are good and everything checks out normal, but youve got a good-sized knot on the back of your head and you were out for quite a while. She straightened away from the bed. Whats your full name and what are your parents names?
Nicole Antoinette Benedict, Nic said immediately. My parents are Lyle and Mary Benedict. They live back in Maryland where I grew up. The easy answers calmed some of the panic and she shifted and lifted a hand to the back of her head, wincing when she found a tender, raised bump the size of her palm. What happened?
What is the last thing you remember?
I Nicole broke off, her stomach twisting when she realized that while she remembered lots of things, they werent in any sort of order. She could picture a greenhouse full of plants, but she wasnt sure if it was a memory from last week or last year. Panic spiked through the pounding headache, and her voice trembled when she said, I dont know.
The doctor touched her wrist, maybe in reassurance, maybe a quick check on her pulse. Thats not uncommon after a concussion such as yours. Things should start to clear up over the next few hours or days, though you may never remember the actual attack.
Nics blood iced in her veins. I was attacked?
Not you personally, the man said. You were in an elevator when the building was bombed.
Bombed! Something shivered just out of Nics mental reach, a flash of sunlight on a dark shape, there and then gone so quickly she wasnt sure it had ever been. She closed her eyes for a second, scared and frustrated at the same time. I dont remember. She glanced at him. And Im sorry, I dont know your name. Are we She trailed off, not sure what she meant to ask.
As she fumbled, Dr. Eballa stepped away from the bed and adjusted the lights higher. The man turned and scowled in the doctors direction.
Instantly, his image was overlain by another in her minds eye. It was the same face but a different settinga bar, crowded, noisy and dark. Hed turned and scowled at her, but his brown eyes had warmed with reluctant interest when shed said something clevershe didnt remember what it had been, but no matter. She remembered him stretching out a hand, remembered the warmth and the faint electric buzz when they shook and hed said, Im
Ethan! she said aloud in the hospital room, making him jump.
A flash of relief glinted in his eyes, tainted with something more complicated. You remember.
I remember meeting you in a bar, and She trailed off as other memories reconnected. The bar hookup. The hotel room. Hot sex. A plus sign on the home pregnancy test when shed been praying for a minus. Oh, she said, then more forcefully, Oh! Oh, no. I have to talk to you. In private.
He turned away, as though he didnt want her to read his eyes when he said, You already told me about the baby.
Oh. She swallowed hard and tried to fight through the headache and a growing swell of nausea. I dont remember that. What did I say? she wanted to ask. What did you say?
What is the last thing you do remember? he demanded, and she had a feeling there was more to the question than him judging the extent of her partial amnesia.
I remember getting up this morning. She glanced at him. Is it Tuesday? When he nodded, she felt a small measure of relief. Then I remember getting up this morning. I read the paper and made a few calls for a project Im working on. Pitifully unsuccessful calls, she remembered. Then I drove into the city to see you. I can picture myself parking somewhere and walking into a big building, but Im not sure if thats a memory or a logical guess.
You dont remember being in a glass-walled elevator? he persisted.
She shook her head, then winced and pressed her fingers to her temples when the headache spiked.
Youre hurting. He stepped away from the bed. Ill come back later.
No. The terror had subsided somewhat with the piecemeal return of her memory. In its place was a sense of urgency. Despite what had happened at the office building, shed set out that morning with a purpose. Now, she looked at Dr. Eballa and saw compassion in the other womans eyes. Can we have a few minutes alone?
The doctor hesitated a beat, then nodded. Youre lucid, and its not unexpected for you to have blocked out the actual trauma. You may never remember that chunk of time, but everything else seems okay. Ill take a walk. When you and Mr. Moore are finished, Ill come back and run a few more tests, just to be on the safe side.
When she was gone, Nic stared at her legs beneath the pale blue hospital blanket. In case you were wondering, theres no chance the baby could be anyone elses.
He nodded, though she didnt know if that meant he believed her, or if that was what hed expected her to say. Which just underscored how much she didnt know about the father of her unborn child. Shed picked him up in a bar, for heavens sake, and though shed like to think she wouldnt have been attracted to a jerk, her track record said otherwise.
Do you She faltered, but pushed through the awkwardness with a faint thread of optimism. What do you think about being a father?
Being a sperm donor doesnt make a man a father, he said, voice nearly inflectionless, but he paced the length of the room, body language giving voice to the upset within.
When he stopped at the window and worked the mechanism to open the blinds and look out at the night, she thought she saw something sad in the reflection of his eyes, something that defused her quick anger and left the hurt behind.
Im sorry, he said after a moment. Its not about you, or about what we did. Its He turned toward her and spread his hands away from his long, lean body. Lets just say the world is better off if Im in it by myself.
A flare of disappointment warned Nic that no matter how many times shed told herself not to think foolish thoughts, some piece of her had been hoping for the happy nuclear family shed always dreamed of. But she forced her voice level when she said, I didnt come looking for a marriage proposal. Lucky for us, society has evolved past shotgun weddings.
Though she had a feeling her professor fathers reaction wouldnt be particularly evolved when he found out his firstand possibly onlygrandchild would be born outside of wedlock.
Ethan repeated, Im sorry.
Me, too, she said. I wish She trailed off, not sure what exactly she wished. If she hadnt gone into Hitchins that night, damned caution and hiked up onto a bar stool beside the hottest guy in the joint, she wouldve missed out on some pretty fabulous sex. And yes, she wouldve missed out on the life growing inside her. An unplanned life, perhaps, but one she already cherished.
Im okay with it, really, she said, not sure whether she was saying it for his benefit or her own. Ive always planned on having kids. Even thought Id found the right guy once.
Jonah, he said, surprising her.
She nodded, remembering that shed mentioned her ex in passing during their brief bar flirtation. Good memory. But thatobviouslydidnt work out.
Ethan looked over his shoulder at her. Was that why you were at Hitchins that night? Because of him?
No, she said quickly, then stopped herself and went with the truth. Or, not really. It was my thirty-fourth birthday that day. I had all these plans with my friends from the school. She glanced at him. Did I tell you Im a teacher? When he shook his head, she said, Science. Donner High School. Anyway, we were supposed to have a girls day outa few hours at the spa, a movie, that sort of thing. Simple fun. But I got up that morning, looked in the mirror, and all I saw was someone I never expected to be. Thirty-four, unmarried, no kids.
She shook her head. That much I couldve dealt with. Id been dealing just fine. But then I checked my messages and found out that Toulouse Inc. was backing out of funding this biofuel project Ive been working on with some of my students. Weve built this great greenhouse. She sketched the building with her hands. Corn. Wheat. Soybeans. Easily renewable resources. And weve got a converter we designed She trailed off, aware that he was staring. And Im babbling. You dont care about any of this. Sorry.
Jonah had always hated when shed interjected her little project into dinner-party conversation, even though it had been his idea that she leave grad school for the more family-friendly schedule of teaching high school. The way she figured it, if Jonah hadnt cared about the biofuel project, then Ethan certainly wouldnt.
Sorry, she said again when he just stared at her. She felt a hot flush climb her cheeks. Thats not what youre here to talk about, is it? You want to settle things, make sure Im okay. Well, I am. She took a deep breath to quell the taint of nausea at the back of her throat. I didnt go looking for you because I wanted a proposal, or money or anything like that. Im fully prepared to have this baby and raise it on my own. Heck, Im looking forward to it. If Im lucky, Ill meet a man and fall in love with him, and the three of us can make a family, make more babies, have the white picket fence, the Labrador and the whole nine yards. She paused, then continued, But that doesnt change the fact that this baby is half yours, so I needed to tell you about him or her. What you do with the information is pretty much up to you.