You suit the kitchen, this house, much better than I ever did, Andi said with an easy shrug. Not only because you decorated it. For all your sophistication, you fit in suburbia. As much as I tried, I never could.
Youre definitely more comfortable downtown than you were here. And your penthouse is a better showcase for your personal style.
The penthouse is closer to the dating scene, Andi corrected with another casual shrug at odds with the discontented look in her eyes. Speaking of dating...
We were talking about decorating, not dating.
Then lets change the subject. Andi leaned her elbows on the counter and propped her chin in her hand, still munching the apple. You need to start dating.
Ive dated.
When was the last time? Andi challenged.
Harper had to think about that.
Sometime late last year, since I wore my black knee-length boots and that gorgeous three-quarter-length peacoat I got on sale at Nordstrom.
That Andi didnt question that Harper filed her memories according to outfits was just one of the reasons they were such good friends.
Did that date end in sex? Andi inquired.
No. It ended in the stomach flu.
The guy gave you the flu on a date?
Laughing at Andis confused expression, Harper shook her head.
Not quite. The babysitter called while we were finishing the entrée to tell me that Nathan was throwing up. End of date.
Nothing came before her son. Not men, not work, not even her own memories.
Obviously its time to step up your dating life. Ive got some ideas on that.
Why dont we work on your dating life instead? Or better yet, what do you think about adding a fountain to your foyer? Something in metal. I saw a gorgeous piece last week at one of the art galleries.
Really? What form? Colored metal or brass? No, wait. She threw up one hand and scowled. Dont do that. Dont distract me with pretties.
But if we talk about decorating, were both happy and both get something we want, Harper pointed out, getting cranberry and passion fruit juices and the seltzer out of the fridge. If we talk about dating, you end up frustrated and I get a headache. Why should we do that to ourselves?
The real question is, why would you do this to yourself? At least Im trying to get back out there. But you? Youre a gorgeous, vital, interesting woman. And youre cutting yourself off from the opposite sex. You need to get out there, live it up.
Ive hardly cut myself off from the opposite sex. I date when I feel like it. I have a member of the male species living with me. And I deal with male clients, designers and contractors all the time.
Your son doesnt count, nor do business relationships. Im talking about the possibility of sex, Harper. Something every woman needs in order to be healthy, energized and sane.
Harpers lips twitched. Poor thing sounded as frustrated as if it were she who was going on eight years without doing the deed. She probably shouldnt have shared that sad little truth, but shed been trying to comfort her friend over a bottle of wine while Andi lamented her eight sexless months. If nothing else, the revelation had shocked Andi out of her funk and into a frenzy to ensure she didnt end up in the same dry spell.
Im doing okay without it. Before Andi could argue that okay wasnt enoughafter all, theyd had this conversation so many times, Harper could recite it in her sleepshe gave her friend a sad shrug. I really am. Ive heard that some people simply arent very sexual. Maybe Im one of them.
Pretending her best friend wasnt looking as if shed just punched her in her perfectly toned belly, Harper set the ingredients aside and leaned her own elbows on the bar, resting her chin on her fists.
I dont miss it. The few times I have wondered if maybe I should, I think about everything thatd have to be done to actually have sex. And its just not worth it.
Whats to be done? Find a hot guy. Do the deed.
Harper rolled her eyes.
Sex requires knowing the guy, which requires more than three dates, which means being away from Nathan. That requires a babysitter, which until recently, was a luxury I couldnt justify. Now that I can, I find I dont really want to. Harper straightened. Its just not worth the trouble. Or the risks.
Andi opened her mouth, then closed it again. Im not trying to psychoanalyze or anything. Believe me. But do you think thats the reason you arent interested in sex? That the last guy you had it with got you pregnant, then walked out?
Harper didnt physically move, but she did withdraw. She could actually feel herself pulling away, closing in. She didnt talk about that time in her life. Partly because there wasnt a whole lot to brag about when it came to teenage pregnancy. And partly because she hated talking about her past. She hated even thinking about it.
But mostly she kept quiet because she was afraid. The last thing Brandon had said to her after shed told him she was pregnant was goodbye.
Right before hed uttered that word, though, hed warned her that if she didnt get an abortion, his parents would take the baby. If they knew they had a grandchild, theyd insist on raising it to be a proper Ramsey, and there was nothing shed be able to do to stop them.
Harper had believed him.
She hadnt obeyed him, of course.
But shed definitely believed.
Shed kept her pregnancy a secret from everyone she knew, cleaned out the college savings shed been hoarding since she was eleven, stuffed her clothes in a backpack and ran. Shed changed her life. Shed become the opposite of where shed come from. And shed kept quiet. Because she had no doubts about the reality of Brandons threat. If his parents knew about Nathan, theyd try to take him.
She had built a life that would be hard for them to challenge if it went to court. She was an upstanding citizen with a thriving career; her son was happy and healthy and attended one of the best private schools in Santa Barbara. Their lifestyle wasnt as affluent as the Ramseys, but it was good. Solid. No custody court would say otherwise. If it ever came down to it, nobody could justify taking Nathan from her.
It wasnt until she felt Andis hand close over hers that Harper realized shed been silent for way too long. And that her hand was trembling.
Sorry, she said, dismissing her anxiety with a laugh.
Im the one whos sorry. I shouldnt have pried.
Its been a long time. Itd be pretty stupid of me to let him control my choices after all these years, wouldnt it?
I dont know, Harper. Maybe leaving you high and dry, never contributing a penny to help raise his child and never once contacting either one of you is a good enough reason to avoid sex.
Harper frowned.
If hes the reason Im avoiding it, maybe its time to reconsider, she murmured, half to herself. At Andis whoop of delight, she shook her head and rushed to add, I said reconsider. Not run out and have tons of wild, sweaty sex. Just, you know, maybe consider keeping a guy around for a third date.
Thats the only opening I need, Andi all but sang. As she patted Harpers hand in support, she asked, So, whats your preference? Dark hair or light? Working class or businessman? Butt or biceps?
Thats the only opening I need, Andi all but sang. As she patted Harpers hand in support, she asked, So, whats your preference? Dark hair or light? Working class or businessman? Butt or biceps?
Butt or biceps?
Yeah, which is your trigger? Im going to find you the perfect man, Andi vowed with the fervency of an evangelical minister on cable television.
Harper was rescued from having to decide by the back door swinging open. In swirled her very own seven-year-old tornado.
Her heart melted just a little at the sight of her son dancing into the room. His elegant features were alive with delight, smudges of dirt on his chin and cheek and his hair, the same burnished gold as her own, tumbling over his brow.
Mom, guess what. Louie Drydens cat had kittens. Five of them. She had em on his bed, too. He got pictures on his iPhone and it was, like, so gross. He stopped talking long enough to drop his prized baseball onto the counter next to the bowl of apples.
He threw his arms around his mother for a quick hug, grabbing his ball again before remembering to offer the same to the other woman. Hey, Andi. Do you want a kitten? Now that all the gross is off them, theyre really cute. Tiny, with lots of black hair. Kinda like you.
Arent you the charmer? Laughing, Andi squeezed him tight before ruffling Nathans hair. And what am I supposed to do with a kitten?
Love it, of course, Nathan said in the same tone hed use to remind her the sky was blue. Youd have to take care of it and give it food and stuff, like Mom does me. You pet it a lot and maybe let it sleep on your pillow next to you. Then youll have something to play with, and you wont get lonely.
He turned guileless brown eyes on his mother, his wide smile all the more enchanting for its missing teeth.
If Andi gets one, you should, too, Mom. It could keep you company if I went to summer camp.
The pitch for a kitten had been going for several weeks now, with Harper standing firm on her no. But camp was new. Ever since hed found out a few days ago that his best pal, Jeremy, was going, Nathan had been begging to attend. But it was two weeks away, on an island, with strangers. Three strikes, no camp.
Nice try, Harper murmured, shaking her head both at his ploy and at her quite possibly overprotective concerns. Dinner is in a little less than an hour. Why dont you go play until then?
She knew his face as well as she did her ownbetter, actually. So Harper could easily read the struggle in his eyes as he fought the urge to push.
Then he shrugged.
Im seriously starving. Can I have something to eat before dinner?
An apple.
Thanks. Nathan grabbed the apple and his baseball, then headed out of the kitchen. At the arched doorway, he glanced back. Do you think kittens like stories? I bet Id get a lot of extra reading done if I had to read to a kitten every day.
Harper smiled as she got the glass pitcher down to mix the juices into Nathans favorite.
Hes only seven, and he already knows when to push and when hell get more by simply walking away, Andi murmured with an appreciative shake of her head.
The rest of the time, he uses charm, guile and a golden tongue, Harper agreed. In that respect he was so like Brandon.
Andi waited until they heard his footsteps fade up the stairs before giving Harper an arch look.
How long do you think youll hold out against getting him the kitten? Andi asked.
Hopefully another year. Harper blew out a breath. If not that, then Id like to at least get through this Little League season before he takes on that big of a responsibility.
That shed give in was a given. But she figured as long as Nathan didnt realize that, the power balance was exactly where it should be.
And camp? Why dont you want him going?
The longest hes been away from home is a sleepover. This is two weeks. And its not like its space camp or baseball camp, which I could understand, given his obsession with those. This is adventure camp. Rafting and climbing and sleeping outdoors. Harper gave a mock shudder. All of that aside, I cant afford it.
There. That sounded perfectly reasonable.
Hed have fun. And wouldnt it do him good to explore other interests? Andi gave her a look that said she saw right through all that reasoning. You always say you want to give Nathan as many opportunities as you can. This is an opportunity.
So is circus school. But that doesnt mean Ill be signing him up for trapeze lessons.
Mmm-hmm.
Whats that supposed to mean?
Youre in tiger mode. At Harpers blank look, Andi curled her fingers into claws on either side of her chin. Youre like a momma tiger protecting her cub from danger.
Before Harper could ask what was wrong with that, Andi straightened one hand to wag her finger in the air.
Except this isnt danger. Its camp. Singing around the campfire and learning to tie knots. Its swimming and tire swings and hikes. Itd be a great learning experience. After all, education isnt found only in the classroom.
Whatd you do, swallow their brochure? Harper muttered, her words lost in the refrigerator as she pulled out berries for dessert. But Andi still heard.
I served on a board for underprivileged kids a couple of years ago. We had to provide a study of the benefits of programs like this in order to get funding. It really does make a difference for some kids. The independence, the skills and the friendships can be priceless.
Harpers scowl was hot enough to rot the glossy strawberries, but she couldnt argue any of those points.
Besides, if you dont start letting go, youre going to end up with a wimpy mommas boy. She paused for effect before adding, Like Matt. You know, the man who wanted to bring his mother along on our vacations, whose mother still bought his underwear and who after being kicked to the curb for cheating, moved home with Mommy, who now makes him breakfast every day.
Cute at seven, iffy at seventeen. And at thirty-two it was definitely pathetic. Even as they shared a grimace, Harper knew shed be poking through her bank account later to see if she could juggle the registration costs. Not that she was totally convinced. But she was teetering.
Ill cover the fee, Andi offered, giving her that last push over the edge. Call it my contribution to loosening your inhibitions.
What does one have to do with the other?
If Nathans safely away at camp, you can do more than reconsider having sex. You can have it.
And that was supposed to convince her?
The doorbell chimed before Harper could do more than shake her head in dismay.
Ill get thatyou start reconsidering. When I get back, well find that perfect third-date guy.
Id put money on Nathan getting a kitten sooner than that happening, she murmured as Andi swept from the room.
I heard that, the other woman sang out, her words echoing down the hall.
Harpers frown intensified. All of this dating and sex talk was stupid. All it did was stir up thoughts of Brandon, bad memories and hurt feelings. And like anything to do with Brandon Ramsey, the second one thought occurred, a million followed. He was the poster boy for taking a mile when an inch was all shed offered.