Keeping your secret cant help her anymore, Mrs. Marlow, Wayne Atherton said. We cant help her either, if we dont know what she is.
Unlike Pennington, Atherton truly seemed to want to help, so Charity cleared her throat and took a long sip of her coffee. Almost twenty-five years ago, my six-week-old daughter disappeared from her crib.
Youre telling us that Delilah was kidnapped? Pennington prompted after a moment of silence, but Charity only shook her head.
Im telling you that my daughter Elizabeth was kidnapped. Her middle name was Delilah, so thats what I called the changeling left in her place.
For one long moment, neither the sheriff nor his deputy spoke. Charity couldnt even be sure they were breathing.
Changeling. Pennington seemed to be tasting the word, as if he might want to spit it back out. So, youre saying the fae took your baby and left a surrogate in its place? There hasnt been a confirmed surrogate exchange since the reaping. The sheriff laid both thick hands flat on the table between them. Mrs. Marlow, are you telling us that your daughter is part of a second wave of attack?
Atherton slipped quietly out of the room.
No. Charity set her coffee down and looked straight into the sheriffs eyes, so that he couldnt possibly mistake any part of her bearing or intent. This is different. I dont know what those little monsters were, but Delilah isnt one of them.
The sheriff crossed his arms above his belly. How can you be sure? Does she look like Elizabeth?
I havent seen Elizabeth in twenty-five years, Sheriff, but as infants, they were identical.
Penningtons scraggly gray brows rose. Sounds like a surrogate to me.
Youre wrong. Charity lifted her cup in one unsteady hand and took a sip of the cooling coffee. Then she set the cup down and took a long, deep breath. Delilah was sent to deliver pain, but not by instilling terror on a national scale like the surrogates. She was left in Elizabeths place to punish me. And I got exactly what I asked for.
What
Charity held up one hand and spoke over the sheriff. Elizabeth was a beautiful child, but she had an ugly temper. She cried for days and nights on end. I couldnt eat or sleep. I couldnt think straight. One day, when she was six weeks old, I prayed that the Lord would take my brand-new baby girlthe center of my existenceand send me a quieter, happier child in her place.
She pulled a tissue from the purse in her lap and dabbed at first one eye, then the other. Now, it may be that a lot of women in my position do the same thing, and nothing comes of it. But I... She leaned forward, and fresh tears fell from her eyes. Well, Sheriff, I said my prayer out loud. And it wasnt the Lord who heard me.
Who heard you? the remaining deputy whispered.
Charity twisted in her chair to give him a censuring glance. Believe it or not, Deputy, no one claimed credit for replacing my daughter with a more pleasant doppelgänger. She turned back to the sheriff. So I did some research and learned that I could get in touch with whoever took my daughter if I were to nurse the child for a week, then smear a bit of her blood on a mirror and state my own childs name. More inclined toward logic than superstition, Charity had thought the whole thing sounded gruesome and crazy, but the truth was that since the reaping, anything seemed possible. The sheriff eyed her doubtfully, but she continued. It worked! A woman appeared to me in my bathroom mirror, holding Elizabeth from some room Ive never seen before.
What did she say? the deputy asked, and the sheriff scowled, but let the question stand.
She said that in a year, if I had taken proper care of the changeling and still wanted my daughter back, Elizabeth would be returned to me.
This woman in the mirror? The sheriffs skepticism was fading beneath undeniable curiosity. Did you get her name? Her species?
She wouldnt tell me any of that. But she looked and sounded as human as Delilah did.
So what did you do? Pennington said, and from across the table, Charity could see that though he held a pen, the notebook page in front of him was completely blank.
We cared for Lilah as if she were our own. She was a delightful child. Happy and affectionate. We came to love herI felt guilty for how much I loved her, when my own daughter was missing. Charity folded her hands on the table and took a deep breath. Then the one-year mark came and went, and Elizabeth never reappeared.
Did you try the blood-on-the-mirror trick again? the sheriff asked.
Charity nodded. Several times, but my summons went unanswered.
And you never got her back? the deputy guessed, clearly transfixed by the story.
Pennington waved one hand to silence the deputy, and when he turned back to Charity, she met his gaze with tear-filled eyes. No, I never got Elizabeth back, she said. Then she took a deep breath and gave voice to a fear that had lived in her soul for twenty-five years, but had never before been spoken aloud.
Sheriff, I think my Elizabeth was never returned because I loved Delilah more.
Delilah
The weight of my mothers confession steadily pressed the air from my lungs until psychological suffocation felt like a very real threat. I tried to lean forward, staring intently through the one-way glass into the room where she sat, but again chains and cuffs held me painfully short of where I wanted to be.
However, the real trauma went much, much deeper. Brandon had been wrongthere really was a Delilah Marlow. But I wasnt her.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to take it all in. Trying to understand.
I wasnt my mothers daughter.
That devastating revelation triggered a landslide of loss, leaving me crushed by the debris of my own life. I had no real name or family. No birthplace or birth date. No true identity. Added to the confiscation of everything Id ever owned, that left me with nothing but a body I could no longer trust. Though according to Pennington, that was now owned by the state of Oklahoma.
This cant be real.
What was I, if I had no name, no friends, no family, no job, no home, no belongings, and no authority over my own body? What could I be?
Maybe I was just the good little girl my motherd begged for. Or maybe I was the monster Sheriff Pennington believed me to be. Maybe I was the first enemy soldier in a secret war against humanity. But could that even be true, if I didnt know about it?
A strange creak cut through my thoughts, and Deputy Atherton turned away from the window to look at me. Delilah? Are you okay?
When I opened my mouth to tell him just how far from okay I was, the creaking stopped. Id been clenching my jaw so tightly we could both hear the stress.
You really didnt know about any of that? he said, pointing beyond the glass at my mother.
I shook my head. Even after hearing it, I wasnt sure I truly understood. All I knew for sure was that I was a changeling of unknown origin sent to torture my mother. And that somehow a punishment meant to last a year had lasted a lifetime. For what? For loving me too much?
That wasnt fair to her. She was a good mother. Yet if whoeverd taken Elizabeth Delilah Marlowthe real Lilahhad brought her back, where would that have left me? Would I have been raised by the woman in the mirror? Was she my mother?
No.
Charity Marlow had been living with her secret for twenty-five years, maintaining her silence to protect me, mourning her real daughtera baby whod looked just like mein private, because the world could not know of her loss. That made her my mother, even if we shared no blood.
Had my dad known?
Yes.
Suddenly my fathers periodic melancholy made sense. What had he seen when hed looked at me? Could he see the difference between me and his Elizabeth? Had he loved me as much as my mother did?
Had he blamed her for the loss of their true child? Had he blamed me?
If you tell the sheriff I let you watch, hell have my badge.
Deputy Athertons statement sliced through my thoughts so suddenly that it took me a second to understand what hed said.
I sniffed, unable to wipe either my eyes or my dripping nose. I wont tell him. As the only person to show me even the slightest bit of compassion, Atherton was the closest thing I had to an ally. Thank you for letting me see my mom. Whats going to happen to her? I whispered, still staring through the glass.
He shrugged. If shes human, she should be fine.
She harbored a cryptid for twenty-five years. Thats a felony, Deputy.
She was protecting her kid. The sheriff would never... Atherton didnt bother to finish. We both knew the sheriff would.
Mrs. Marlow, Pennington continued from the next room. As an officer of the law, I have to ask, why didnt you turn the changeling over to the proper authorities when it became clear that your daughter was never going to be returned?
The changeling. He wasnt even using my name anymore. Id become a thing.
She didnt know she wasnt human, my mother said. I didnt know for sure. If Id given her to the police, they would have put her in the state refuge, where shed have been less than a snack for the first troll or ogre to find her. She was a baby, Sheriff.
Yes, and Im sure she was adorable. Pennington leaned back in his chair again, and though I couldnt see his face, I could picture his patronizing expression perfectly. A few years ago I saw a baby tiger in the zoo, over at Tulsa. It was behind a thick wall of glass playin with its handler, chasin a bit of string with a stuffed mouse tied at the end. That baby tiger was the cutest damn thing I ever saw in my life. He paused dramatically. A year and a half later it ripped that same handlers arm off and bit through her jugular.
My mother didnt even flinch. Youre suggesting Lilah is like this tiger?
Im tellin you shes worse. The tiger acted on instinct. Your Lilah made a deliberate decision to Pennington crossed his arms over his chest. Well, were not sure what she did to that poor man. What we are sure of is that if youd done your civic duty when she was a baby, we wouldnt be sittin here now. I suspect the states attorney will have a few things to say to you about that, but I could put in a word on your behalf, if you were to help us out. We really need to know what she is. You must have seen something when she was growing up that could help us. There musta been signs that she was different from the other girls.
There werent, Sheriff, my mother insisted. Thats why it was so easy for me to believe she was human, no matter where she came from. Lilah was normal. She was smart, and kind, and always the first to go to bat for the underdog. I was always so proud of her.
My mothers face blurred beneath tears I couldnt hold back.
So, you never saw anything strange about her hair? Or her eyes? Or her hands? Pennington asked, and my mother shook her head. Not even when she got riled up about something?
No. There was never anything like that. My mom leaned forward, her arms folded on top of the table, and I recognized the fierce look in her eyes. Look, Sheriff, I have no idea what Lilah did to that man, but I have no doubt that he damn well deserved it.
Deputy Atherton twisted a knob at the bottom of the glass, and my mothers voice went silent. He pressed a button on the same panel, and the glass frosted over until it became reflective again. My viewing was over.
She loves you.
Yeah, and Im afraid thats going to get her in serious trouble. I rotated my shoulders in the futile search for a more comfortable position as he slid into the chair across the table from me. Whats next for her?
The deputy exhaled and pushed a strand of brown hair from his forehead. Penningtons approved a rush order on her blood test, so we should hear back within twenty-four hours, assuming shes human.
Because identifying one of thousands of cryptid species by blood was complicated, but confirming humanity was pretty quick.
Shell have to stay here until were sure, though.
Cant you just let her go home? Shes no threat, Deputy.
Atherton shook his head. Standard procedure, for public safety. Anyone suspected of having cryptid blood has to stay in custody until the results are in. Ill take her some coffee and a stale cinnamon roll, but thats the best I can do.
What about me? I shifted in my seat, trying to ease the pressure on my shoulders. Am I going to sit in a cell until they figure out what I am?
Looks like it, and you should probably consider that a stroke of luck. Penningtons had a couple of the guys out front looking at options for where to send you since before you woke up, and the very best of them is going to make this place look like a luxury hotel.
A fresh jolt of fear tightened my chest. Please tell me Penningtons not the final authority.
Atherton shrugged. The laws a little fuzzy on that. If that carny was in the morgue instead of the psych ward, Pennington would have to call in the state police. Thats standard for all capital offenses. But since he doesnt have to make that call, hes probably not gonna. If you turn out to be a surrogate, you fall under federal jurisdiction, but thats another call hes not going to make unless he has to.
So my fate is in the hands of the sheriff of a county with fewer than fifteen thousand people in it. My mouth was dry, and my hands had gone numb, but because I wasnt human, they could keep me as long as they wanted without so much as a sip of water or a trip to the bathroom.
Yes, but I think youre better off here than you would be in state custody. The deputy folded his hands on the table while I watched him through a strand of hair that had fallen over my eye. The state reservation is over capacity. Theyre sendin the overflow straight to an R & D holding facility, and that place...
Atherton stared down at his hands, and the fact that he was clearly stalling made my heart beat too hard.
Cryptid research and development was big business, with both the government and the private sector, but regulation was virtually nonexistent. Animal activists raised hell if a pharmaceutical company wanted to test new shampoo on a sewer rat, but R & D could inject environmental toxins beneath a selkies removable seal skin all day long and no one blinked an eye.