Mrs. Flanagan has pretty flowers, doesnt she?
Mandy nodded, her small face tense, and Lauras throat clenched. She was taking her daughter into the sort of situation she usually avoided, just because she couldnt say no to Siobhan.
We dont have to stay long, okay? We can go home right after supper if you want to.
Okay.
She smiled, touching Mandys cheek. Good talking, Mandy. Mandy didnt verbalize very often since her hearing had worsened, so it was an occasion for praise when she did.
She squeezed her daughters hand, and together they approached the door. It was flung open before she could knock. Three children crowded around them, making Mandy shrink against her.
Theyre here, theyre here! The oldest, a girl who must be about six or so, caught Mandys hand and pulled her inside. Grammy, theyre here.
Flanagans. Obviously they were all three Flanagans, with the same reddish-gold hair and blue eyes. If only they werent quite so friendlyit was like being surrounded by a bunch of puppies, all trying to jump on her.
Enough shouting. Siobhan grabbed the smallest boy and held him close. You sound like a bunch of hooligans. Welcome, Laura. Mandy. Were glad youre here.
Thank you for inviting us. How soon would it be polite to leave?
These two monsters are Mary Kates. She touched the oldest girl and the boy who looked about Mandys age. Shawna and Michael. She squeezed the smaller boy. And this is Seths little boy, Davy.
The front door opened into a large, comfortable, slightly shabby living room. The adults all seemed to be gathered around the fireplace. All of them were looking at her.
Siobhan led her forward and began introducing them. Mandy stayed close behind her, clutching her hand tightly. Most of them she knew already, but she hadnt met Brendans wife or Seths fiancée. She nodded, smiled, and decided that there were way too many Flanagans.
One was missing, though. Shed recognized the moment she entered the room that Ryan wasnt here. On duty, maybe? Before she could be sure whether she felt relief or disappointment, he came striding in from what was probably the kitchen.
She absolutely would not feel pleasure at the sight of him. Still, when his smile lit his deep-blue eyes, it was hard not to, especially when he came directly to her.
Laura, hi. Well, what do you think? He waved toward his family. If you can stand all these people talking at once, you might be able to get through a Sunday supper at the Flanagan house.
Stop teasing, Ryan. Siobhan swatted at him affectionately. You make Laura feel welcome, now. Ive got to get back to the roast.
Can I do something she began, but Siobhan was already gone.
This is your first time here, Ryan said. Relax and enjoy yourself. Its Mary Kates familys turn to help this week, anyway.
You do this every Sunday?
Terrifying, isnt it? His grin negated the words. If the weathers nice, we go out to Gabe and Nolies farm instead, where the kids can run. Mandy would like seeing the place. Lots of animals.
Was that an invitation? She wasnt sure, and maybe it was safer to ignore it.
I thought maybe you were working tonight. That suggested shed been looking for him, and she wanted the words back.
We all try to get off Sunday when we can. These get-togethers are important to Mom. Besides, Pastor Brendan would get after us if we missed church. His eyebrows lifted. I thought maybe wed see you there this morning.
Apparently the Flanagans didnt intend to let her forget that shed once belonged to their church. A little flicker of annoyance went through her. Im not sure Mandy would feel comfortable there.
Why not? His eyes were fixed on hers, seeming to demand an answer.
Its difficult when she cant understand whats going on. And why wont you leave it alone?
Nolies always in church school. I know shed be glad to sign for Mandy.
He was crowding her on the subject, and she frowned at him. Its hard for her to interact with hearing children.
Really? He nodded toward the corner of the room.
She seems to be doing fine at the moment.
Shed thought Mandy was still at her side. Instead she was clear across the room, sitting in front of a tower of blocks with the other children.
She made an instinctive movement toward them. Ill just go and
Ryan stopped her with a touch on her arm. Why dont you let them play? Theyre okay.
Irritation scraped along her nerves. Ryan didnt know anything about raising a hearing-impaired child. But she watched as Shawna handed Mandy a block, clapping when she put it on top of the tower. Mandys solemn little face broke into a smile.
Lauras throat tightened. That was what she wanted for Mandyto see her playing normally with other children instead of being trapped and isolated in her silent world.
Laura, its grand to have you back in Suffolk. Ryans father approached with an outstretched hand. She probably would have known Joe Flanagan anywherehe still had that square, bulldog face and friendly smile, although only a few tinges of red showed in his now-white hair.
Thank you. And thanks for all the help from your family with the fire clean-up.
He shrugged. Firefighters enjoy seeing things put back to rights after a fire. You know that all of us Flanagans are involved with the department now, dont you?
Ryan groaned. Please, Dad. Im sure Laura doesnt want to hear about our old family traditions.
His fathers face tightened, as if he were about to issue a reprimand.
I have every reason to know about Seth and Terry and Ryan, since I met them on the job, she said quickly.
Joe nodded. I guess you did at that. Sorry I wasnt there. I never thought Id be stuck at a desk job in the department, but it makes me proud to know that those three are out there on my old team.
She nodded, glancing at Ryan, and was struck by the expression that crossed his face at his fathers words. What was it? It was gone too quickly to say, but she was left with a sense of something uneasy behind Ryans smile.
Chapter Three
Despite her qualms, Laura decided that the evening had gone pretty well. Theyd moved past dessert and coffee, and she sat next to Nolie, Gabes wife, on the sofa. The other woman had the serene, absorbed face some women wore during pregnancy, as if they listened to something inside themselves.
Do you know yet if the babys a boy or girl? Or arent you telling?
Shed been eager to find out when she was pregnant. The tests had told her she was going to have a daughter. They hadnt been able to predict that Mandy would be born with a serious hearing problem.
Its a girl. Nolies face curved in a satisfied smile.
I thought maybe Gabe would want a boy first, but he says after growing up with his brothers and cousin, hes delighted to have a baby girl.
Thats lovely. Unexpected tears stung her eyes, and she blinked them away. My husband
She stopped. Jason had been disappointed their child had been a girl, and doubly disappointed that she hadnt been perfect, but she shouldnt say that.
She stopped. Jason had been disappointed their child had been a girl, and doubly disappointed that she hadnt been perfect, but she shouldnt say that.
Im sorry. Nolie clasped her hand in sudden empathy, seeming to understand what she didnt say. But you shouldnt worry too much about her. I work with children who have disabilities, so I see the parents concerns all the time. Mandys such a bright, loved child. Believe me, shell do fine.
I want her to have the best. I know she can live a full life without hearing, but if she qualifies for the cochlear implant
A cry interrupted her, and she swung around, heartbeat accelerating. Mandy
Michael was trying to pull a toy train from her hand. He wrenched it free, and Mandy wailed.
She was across the room in an instant, but Siobhan got there first, pulling her grandson away.
Michael Joseph Driscoll, Im disappointed in you. Mandy is our guest. Say youre sorry.
He just wanted to show her how it works, Grammy, Shawna said. Honest.
Laura wrapped her arms around Mandy, feeling her childs hot tears against her face. Her heart hurt. Mandy didnt understand. How could she?
Sorry, Michael mumbled.
Everyone was looking at them. All she wanted to do was get out.
Thats fine, Michael. I know you didnt mean it. She struggled to smile at the child. After all, he was just behaving like a normal, hearing five-year-old.
She stood, holding Mandy in her arms, arranging a smile on her face for Siobhan. Mandys getting tired. I think its time we headed for home. Thank you so much for dinner.
Siobhan was wise enough not to argue, but Laura could read the regret in her eyes. She gave Laura a quick hug and stroked Mandys curls. It was lovely to have you here. Come again soon.
She nodded, her smile stiff. No, they wouldnt come again. All the Flanagans meant well, but Mandy needed a less chaotic environment than the one they provided.
Ryan reached her and lifted Mandy from her arms before she realized what he was doing. Ill walk you out.
Ill take her. Theyd had this conversation before, hadnt they? Ryan hadnt listened to her then.
Mandys fine with me, arent you, little girl? He stroked Mandys hair with a gentle touch.
She hated to admit it, but he was right. Mandy snuggled against him, her face tucked into his strong shoulder. For some reason that was obscure to Laura, Mandy trusted him.
She said her goodbyes quickly, trying to evade repeated invitations and offers of help from each of the Flanagans. It seemed the goodbyes would never end, but finally she escaped out the front door with Ryan carrying Mandy.
She paused for an instant on the porch, inhaling the cool spring air and absorbing the quiet.
Okay? Ryan gave her a quizzical look.
She could hardly tell him that his family exhausted her. Fine. She gave him a meaningless smile and walked quickly to the steps, eager to put this evening behind her.
They went down the steps in silence, the warm spring night closing around them. The porch light cast a yellow glow on the walk, fading as they neared the car.
She swung the rear door open, struggling to find something polite and dismissive to say to Ryan.
She is tired, isnt she? Ryan lowered Mandy to her booster seat and fastened the seatbelt carefully. He picked up the teddy bear. It looked tiny in his big hands as he tucked it against Mandy. Shes almost asleep already, he said softly.
Guilt flickered. I shouldnt have stayed so long. This was too much excitement for her.
Ryan straightened, planting one hand against the car roof and looking at her questioningly. Hey, I know were a noisy bunch, but were not that bad, are we?
I didnt mean it that way. She could feel the heat in her cheeks. She hadnt intended her words as an insult. He should realize that.
It looked to me as if Mandy had a good time. Sure youre not overreacting a little?
She stiffened. If youre saying Im overprotective of my daughter
Hey, relax. I wasnt criticizing. He glanced at Mandy, asleep now with the bear cuddled against her chin, safe in the cocoon of her car seat. Id probably feel exactly the same if I were Mandys parent.
Her flicker of anger died. Maybe I am a little too protective. The fact that hed agreed with her made it easier to admit. I justwell, I know Im all Mandy has, so I have to do it right. I guess I still havent figured out how to let her learn without getting hurt.
Maybe thats impossible. He leaned toward her a little, and she caught the fresh scent of soap on his skin, mingled with the heady aroma of lilacs from the huge old bushes that flanked the driveway. I dont know how my folks managed with the five of us, and then taking in my cousin Brendan, too. We were always getting hurt.
Your parents had each other to rely on. Her thoughts flickered to Jason. Shed learned the hard way not to rely on him.
Even with a ton of family around willing to give you free advice, its not always easy to know what to do.
His serious expression startled her. She wasnt used to seeing somber reflection from Ryan, and shed guess most other people werent, either. He was always so laughing and relaxed that it was hard to remember that he probably had his dark moments, too.
Have they been giving you advice about something?
Somehow the dusk and quiet of the warm summer evening made it easier to ask the personal question. It was as if, for the moment at least, they were enclosed together, separate from the happy, noisy family group she knew was behind the wide windows.
He shook his head. Actually, this time I havent let them in on it. Sometimes other peoples expectations get in the way of knowing whats best for you.
Is it something you want to talk about?
Are you offering to listen? He leaned a little closer, until she could almost feel his breath against her face.
Her heart lurched. It took an effort to speak evenly.
After everything youve done for us, listening is a small repayment.
No repayment needed. But actually, Im thinking of making a career change.
That startled her. Leave the fire department? Shed imagine that would create a stir in the Flanagan family. Theyd all seemed so proud of their position. Even Brendan, the minister, was the fire department chaplain, hed told her.
Not leave entirely, no. Ive applied for a position with the arson squad. Its run by the fire department here in Suffolk, rather than the police like it is some places, but its a separate branch.
Is that really such a change? Youd still be a firefighter in a way, wouldnt you?
You heard my dad. Hes so proud that Seth and Terry and I are in his old squad. He frowned, his dark brows creating a V. He had a hard time adjusting when Gabe got hurt and couldnt fight fire anymore, and then his heart attack took him off the line.
You dont want to disappoint him. She understood, only too well, and was surprised at the similarity to her own life. Shed gladly have gone into the construction business with her father, but her mother wouldnt hear of it. Hed want you to do what was right for you, wouldnt he?
Ryans smile flickered. He thinks he already knows what that is.