She stilled, caught in his eyes and the low-voiced request. Had he ever asked her for anything before? She didnt think so, and the impact was palpable. He was still holding her hand, she realized. He followed her eyes to where their fingers were twined together, but he didnt pull away. Instead, he tightened his grip.
Warmth kindled, making her want to lean into him, lean on him. Her head hurt; her eye and the whole side of her face hurt. More, her heart ached at knowing she had lost the evidence. Maybe even the key to the whole case.
Damn it. She needed to let go for a few minutes, needed to know she could trust someone else to handle things, needed She needed exactly what he was offering right now, she realized with a sudden cold-water dose of reality. Which meant it wasnt real; it was just a means to an end, just like all the other roles shed seen him play over the past month.
Stiffening, she pulled away, even though it took effort. Whatever it takes to get the job done, right?
He frowned. What?
Never mind. Going numb now, she submitted to the paramedics, no longer trying to fight them off as they asked her to follow a pen with her eyes and answer stupid-simple questions about what day it was and who was the President.
Nick stood, moved to the back of the room and took a good look around. Moments later, he and Tucker had their heads together and were conferring in low tones, with lots of looks in her direction. She was so busy trying to focus on them that it took her too long to notice that the paramedic working on a small scalp lacerationwhich had started bleeding when she began to move aroundwas tossing bloody gauze into the spatter pattern from the murder vic.
The scene, she protested, reaching for his arm. Please!
Forget the scene, Tucker said, more to the paramedic than to her. A living victim gets priority.
It was protocol, and normally she agreed wholeheartedlythe emergency responders needed to do their jobs without worrying about evidence. But she wasnt criticala headache and some memory gaps werent going to kill herand this was the Death Stare case. Not here. Not now. Not with me.
His expression darkened. Stow it. Youre damn lucky to be alive, you know. If Nick hadnt come in when he did, the bastard could have He broke off, cursing under his breath as he turned away to take a long look out the window.
Nick, though, didnt seem to have nearly as much of a problem with the prospect. He stared at her, expression unreadable and nothing like the gentleness that had been on his face when she was first waking up.
In a way, she was grateful, because the irritation she wanted to aim at him helped her steel herself against the picture Tucker had painted in her aching head. She hadnt thought about it, hadnt really questioned why or how Nick had gotten there. Now, though, she was forced to admit she was damned lucky to be alive. It wasnt like the Investor made a habit of leaving witnesses. Exactly the opposite, in fact.
Nick had interrupted him before he could finish the job. He had saved her life.
What was she supposed to do with that?
Yes, I am lucky, she admitted, struggling to keep her voice from wavering. Im grateful Nick got here when he did, believe me. More grateful than I can
really say right now. But that doesnt change the fact that Im not seriously injured.
You were unconscious for way too long, Nick said flatly, and youre still out of it.
Im fine.
He raised an eyebrow. Describe the attack.
She glared at him, but the reality was that she wasnt frustrated with him anymoreshe was mad at herself. Why couldnt she remember what happened?
You want the scene preserved? Then get out of here, Nick said with maddening logic. Let the paramedics take you to the hospital for stitches and make sure that hard head of yours is fully intact. To Tucker, he said, Well want guards on her, starting now.
Who did you have in mind? The question seemed more pointed than it shouldve been, though Jenn couldnt be sure. Things were getting fuzzy all of a sudden, like a gray mist closing in on her.
Send a couple of uniforms with her, Nick said flatly. And have Alyssa or one of the others meet her there. I dont want Hell, she should have a friendly face waiting.
Jenn didnt know why he sounded angry but couldnt worry about it just then, as the paramedics transferred her to the waiting stretcher. She moaned as the world around her began a big, sickening spin.
Nick took a couple of steps toward them. Damn it, dont
Its okay. She waved him off, gritting her teeth and forcing herself to cling to consciousness and not give in to the nausea. ImIm fine. Or she would be fine once she got out of here, got someplace dark and quiet, where she could be alone and process everything that had happenedand chill out enough to remember the rest. The memories had to be in there, they had to be.
She didnt know whether she had seen the Investor himself or one of his underlings, but it was an important break, a crucial turn in the caseif only she could remember what her attacker had looked like, what he had said. Had he asked her about the evidence? He mustve come back for something specific, but what?
Go on, Tucker said to the paramedics. To her, he added, Ill have Alyssa meet you there. Gigi, too, if shes free.
Thanks, she said softly. But it was Nick she reached out toward, though she didnt make contact. Thank you for chasing him off. Lucky break or not, I owe you one.
You dont owe me a damn thing. His expression was unreadable, his body utterly still. I shouldve gone after him, shouldve caught him.
I should be able to remember what he looks like. We dont always get what we want.
And he was exhibit A on that little fact of life, wasnt he? Because even with her woozy and concussedor maybe because of those thingsshe was very aware of the imprint his body had left on hers, and the way her clothes now smelled slightly of him, a mix of new leather and his own uniquely masculine scent. She wanted to inhale him, remember him. But he wasnt the one she was supposed to be remembering, was he?
He had been the one to point out the memory gap to Tucker, but now he softened a little, saying gruffly, Give it time. Itll come back.
* * *
B UT J ENN S MEMORY OF THE attack didnt come back. It didnt magically return that afternoon as she submitted to a battery of tests and grudgingly agreed to spend the night for observation, all too aware that there was a uniformed officer at the door. And it didnt come back later that night when she lay in the not-very-dark room, staring at the shadowy pieces of hospital equipment and trying to force the memories to return.
She remembered coming into the apartment and seeing the blood, the ropes, the chair, Gigithen nothing. It wasnt even that she was fuzzy on the details, or her mind had been frozen in fear. She just didnt remember. Her world skipped from telling Gigi there wasnt anything between her and Nick anymore, and then waking up practically in his arms.
Unfortunately, every time she got to that part, she remembered all too well other times that shed woken up in his arms. Then, when she deliberately steered her mind away from that, she skipped back to the attack, and how she owed him her life. If he hadnt walked into Dennisons apartment when he did, shed probably be dead now. And that was a hell of a thought. As was knowing that shed probably seen the Investors face, making her a valuable witnessand possibly, as far as the killer was concerned, a loose end.
So it was no real surprise that she tossed and turned as if it was an Olympic sport and she was going for the gold, until the painkillers and her bodys need to heal overrode her churning thoughts and she finally conked out.
She slept poorly and woke near dawn, but felt a heck of a lot better than she had. She could see out of her right eye and move without wanting to whimper or throw up, and that was a huge relief. Still, a few hours later when Tucker, Nick, Gigi and Maya all filed in past the uniformed guard, she could only shake her head, answering the question before it was asked. No, I havent remembered anything new. Im sorry. Then, seeing their expressionsdifferent mixes of anger and sympathyshe added, And dont look at me like that. Im fine. The doctors said so.
She didnt look fine, though. Shed seen herself in the mirror, bruised and battered, with a bandage at her hairline where theyd glued the gash shut rather than stitching it. And shed seen Nicks wince when hed first looked at herand then looked away.
Dont push yourself, Maya advised. Post-concussion syndrome is nothing to mess around with. You might feel okay now, but if you overdo it you could set yourself back, or worse. Trim and petite in dark wool pants and a soft, creamy sweater, the exotic brunette couldve been a model. She wasnt, though; she was the Bear Claw P.D.s resident psych expert. Which made her Jenns next best hope.
Help me, she said, reaching out to her coworker from where she sat on the edge of the bed, wearing the yoga pants and hooded sweatshirt Gigi had brought from her apartment. I dont care what it takes. Drugs, hypnosis, Ill do anything.
You can do yourself a favor by not rushing things, Maya said. We can try hypnosis later. For now, just relax.
How can I? She gestured to the window. The view of the parking lot wasnt terribly scenic, but beyond the cars rose the skyline of Bear Claw City, and beyond that the mountains. Hes out there killing people. I need to do whatever I can to help bring him down.
Trust me, its not worth killing yourself over this one case, Nick said bluntly. He didnt say especially when its not even your hometown. Shed bet he was thinking it, though, given that hed said similar things when theyd been together, as if to remind her that he was just passing through.
Shouldve listened. Now, though, she narrowed her eyes in his direction. This is the case for Bear Claw, Detective. Hopefully there wont be another one like it here, ever. And Im not trying to grandstand, here, Im just trying to be part of the team.
His expression flattened. Youve earned your place. You dont need to keep earning it.
That hit close enough to make her wince, especially when he wasnt one of the ones who would be reviewing her probationbut Tucker was. Im not trying to impress anyone. Im just trying to do my job.
Which doesnt include you needing to solve the case single-handedly.
Jenn was sucking in a breath to retort when Tucker said mildly, Shes not trying to fling herself into the middle of a firefight, Lang, so dial it down. He cut a look at Jenn. Both of you, take a breath and keep the personal stuff out of this, okay? His tone was mild, but there was an undercurrent of steel, a subtle reminder that he was the boss here.
But I wasnt She subsided, though, because Tucker had a pointshe mightve had the same debate with him or another of her teammates, but there wouldnt have been the same sort of emotion behind it: frustration, annoyance and the need to prove herself, not to her bosses, but to Nick.
Except that she was over him, damn it.
Letting out a sigh, she shook her head. Sorry. Youre right. Ill chill. And not just because her head was suddenly throbbing once more, her face gone sore and tender. But Im not backing off. I want to get these memories back and help get this guy, and his drugs, off the streets of my new city.
Besides, closing the case would mean that Nick would leave Bear Claw for good and she could get her mind back where it belongedon the job, and eventually on finding a nice, uncomplicated guy for a nice, uncomplicated relationship with no manipulation, no heartbreak and no nasty surprises when she least expected them.