Wasnt pain the result of relationships? He saw it all the time. Marriages failed all around him, it happened to his friends, his team members, marines he barely knew and to his commanding officers.
Between the betrayal when a spouse broke wedding vows or changed into a different person, and the grief when love ended, he didnt know how anyone could give their hearts at all, ever, knowing the risks. Knowing the pain.
That was why he kept clear of relationships. Not only did he not have much free time to get to know a woman, but he wondered how anyone knew when it was the real thingthe kind of love that lasted, the kind his parents hador the kind of relationship that ended with devastation.
Either way, it was a lot more risk than hed felt comfortable with.
So, why was he searching for a view of Kelly? From where he stood, the solid wooden bookshelves blocked the front counter, so he stepped a little to his left until he could see her reflected in the glass like a mirror. Perfect.
He wanted to say it was guilt, of bringing up something painful that had happened with Joe, that made him notice the way the soft fluff of her golden bangs covered her forehead and framed her big, wide eyes. And how the curve of her cheek and jaw looked as smooth as rose petals. Her hair curled past her jawline and fell against the graceful line of her neck to curl against the lace of her blouses collar.
But that wasnt the truth. Guilt wasnt why he was noticing her. Concern wasnt the only reason he couldnt seem to tear his gaze away. He was interested. He was stationed here for a short stint, that was all, and he wasnt looking for anything seriousthat was a scary thought.
No, he wasnt ready for that. He didnt have time for that. He wasnt a teenaged kid anymore with an innocent crush, and by the look of things, Kellyd had her heart broken. She probably wasnt looking, either.
Hed come here to find a giftnothing moreand hed be smart to get to it. That was the sensible thing to do. He wandered back to the aisle of Bibles, determined to keep his attention focused squarely on his difficult mission: finding a suitable birthday gift.
The rustle of her movements jerked his attention back to her. He was at the end of the row, giving him a perfect view of Kelly. Shed hung up the phone and was circling around the edge of the long front counter. She was keeping her eyes low and intentionally not looking his way, but he kept observing her as he went on with his browsing.
He couldnt say why he watched her as she padded to the far edge of the store. Or why he noticed how elegant she looked in a simple pink cotton blouse and slim khaki pants. It was a mystery. He wanted to attribute it to his trainingthe marines had trained him well and paid him to observe, but that wasnt it at all. Not truthfully.
He couldnt say why, but he listened to the whisper of her movements and kept listeningeven after shed disappeared from his sight.
Chapter Two
Was it her imagination, or was he watching her?
Kelly slipped the inspirational romance from its spot on the shelf. Her gaze shot between the open book bay to watch the hunky soldiers broad back, which was all she could see of him. Mitch stood with his feet braced apart, browsing through the devotionals display midway across the store.
No, hes not even looking my way, she thought, shaking her head and hurrying back to the cash desk. Besides, he seemed totally absorbed in his browsing as he set down one book and reached for another. He was the only customer in the store, and if he wasnt noticing her, then no one was.
Okay, so she was nuts, but she still feltwatched. She remembered the impact of his gaze, and how tangible it had felt. She kept a careful eye on him as she returned to the front.
Although he didnt lift his head or turn in her direction, she felt monitored the entire time it took for her to write Edith Brisbanes name on a slip of paper, rubber-band it to the spine of the book and slip it onto the hold shelf.
I know what the problem is, she realized in the middle of shaking an aspirin tablet onto her palm. She was the one noticing him.
Who could blame her? He cut a fine figure in his rugged military uniform, and back in high school shed always had a secret crush on him. Hed always been a truly nice boy. It looked as if time had only improved him.
As she chased the aspirin down with a few swallows from a small bottle of orange soda, her gaze automatically zoomed across the floor to him. Head bent, he had moved on to amble through the gift section of the store, his attention planted firmly on the rows of porcelain jewelry boxes in front of him. There were two inspirational suspense books tucked in one big hand.
When she looked at him, she could hear his gravelly voice asking again, Hows Joe doing?
It wasnt his fault, Mitch obviously didnt know what had happened. But that didnt make the raw places within her heart hurt any less.
She was no longer a girl who could dream.
She climbed back onto her stool and debated tackling more of her homework, but she wasnt in the mood to face her math book. She knew that if she sat here trying to solve for x, her attention would just keep drifting over to the impressive warrior. To the past.
What good could come from that?
Hey, Kelly. Her bosss solemn baritone cut through her thoughts, spinning her around to face him. Spence McKaslin pushed open the door on the other side of the hold shelf. He emerged from the fluorescent glare of his office, looking gruff, the way he always did when he worked on the accounts. Ill be in the back going through the new order. Katherines still out, so if it gets busy, buzz me.
Sure, but its been really quiet. Do you want me to start restocking or something?
No, were all caught up. Just watch the front until your dinner break. Study while you can. It could get busy later.
It never gets busy on a Friday night.
Dont argue with me, Im the boss. He gave her an extra-hard glare on his way to the drawers beneath the till, but he didnt fool her.
Spence was strong and stoic and tough, but also one of the kindest men shed ever met. Her opinion of him had been pretty high ever since hed hired her, which had saved her from losing her apartment when shed been laid off from her previous job. Spence would have been her cousin, had things worked out differently with Joe.
A lot of things would have been different if shed been able to marry Joe.
Feeling as if shed been sucker-punched, she tried hard not to let the pain show. She didnt know how something so powerful would ever go away, but she did her best to tuck her grief down deep inside. Her gaze strayed to where Mitch still browsed, looking like everything good and noble and strong in the world.
But she also saw memories. And she wanted nothing to do with the past.
Spence grabbed the key ring from its place under the counter and studied her in the assessing way of a good big brother. Did you manage to fit in lunch today?
Well, I ate a granola bar while I was stuck in traffic in the big parking lot on campus.
I knew it. Take your dinner break at five, and Ill go when you get back, he ordered over his shoulder, already marching away.
Mitch watched the older man pass by the gift section and disappear through a door in the back. It was less than an hour before her dinner break. Interesting. He couldnt say why, but he felt out of his element. And it wasnt because he was in a store full of flowery knickknacks and breakables.
I knew it. Take your dinner break at five, and Ill go when you get back, he ordered over his shoulder, already marching away.
Mitch watched the older man pass by the gift section and disappear through a door in the back. It was less than an hour before her dinner break. Interesting. He couldnt say why, but he felt out of his element. And it wasnt because he was in a store full of flowery knickknacks and breakables.
A plan hatched in the back of his mind, and it had nothing to do with his shopping mission.
Kelly remained in his peripheral vision. She made a lovely picture, sitting straight-backed with her head bowed over a book. The math text was still in the stack, so she must be working on another subject. Absorbed in her reading, she tucked a strand of rich honey-blond hair behind her ear, revealing a small pearl earring and her bare left hand.
While he was at home creeping through enemy territory in the rugged mountains of Afghanistan or the deserts of the Middle East, his extensive training did not include what he was about to do.
He kept her in his line of sight as he approached the register. The light from the window seemed to find her and grace her with a golden glow. She kept her head bowed over her book as he approached, but her shoulders stiffened with tension. Telling. But he continued his approach, taking in other details. The soda bottle, her nearly worn-out leather watchband, the pink barrette in her hair that matched the tiny flowers on her blouse. The two sociology textbooks stacked neatly at her left elbow.
He wondered about her life. Did she like being a college student? Did she live on campus in a dorm room or in a nearby apartment? Alone, or with a roommate?
When she looked up from her reading, her smile was cordial but he didnt mistake the sadness, like a shadow, in her dark-blue eyes. He felt a tug of sympathy from his heart. You look pretty busy, he noted, easing the books onto the counter by her register.
Its the life of a college student. I have a test on Monday. As she leaned to scan the books, her hair bounced across the side of her face, leaving only a small sliver of her profile visible. Did you find what you were looking for?
I found more. He wasnt talking about the books.
I do that all the time. Her gaze didnt meet his and her polite smile was too brief. She turned her attention to the cash register. All business.
Okay, he got the signal, but he didnt let it deter him. How long til you get your degree?
After this summer, I have two semesters left. She paused to study the cash register and searched for a key.
Its gotta be slow going, working your way through.
Its taking twice as long, but at least I dont have a major loan to pay back when Im done.
Thats one perk of enlisting. My college will be paid for.
At least he wasnt mentioning the past or Joe again, Kelly thought thankfully as she totaled the sale. Her chest was still clogged tight, like the fallout of an avalanche still pressing her down. Twenty-one ninety-three, please.
Mitch held out his credit card.
When her fingertips caught the other end, she felt a flash, like a shock of static electricity in the air. The sunlight changed to a bright piercing white. The floor rocked beneath her feet. It lasted only for a second. Then the earth steadied, the sunlight turned golden and there was Mitch, unmoved, looking calm and as cool as steel.
That was so not a sign from heaven. Just the pieces of what remained of her dreams, longing, in the way faint embers from a fires flame could glow briefly to life when exposed to air. Her fingers trembled as she swiped his card and plunked it back onto the polished counter between them.
If there was a way to breathe life back into her dreams, she would ask the Lord to show her how. But she didnt bother. Some things really were impossible. I still cant believe youre a soldier. What happened to your pocket protector?
No place for it on this uniform. I love what I do.
What exactly do you do?
Well, I started out at oh-six-hundred with a ten clickkilometerrun in full gear and spent the day mountain climbing to five thousand feet.
You get paid to climb mountains?
Thats not all. I get to do things like scuba dive, parachute, drive around in Humvees and play with explosives. He said it all as if it was no big deal, just in a humble days work. Keeps me out of trouble.
Seems like that would get you into trouble.
Nothing I cant handle.
Wow, Kelly thought, as she bagged the books. Hes grown up into quite a man. See, my day is a piece of cake by comparison.
Except for the math.
Oh, you had to mention that again. I was trying to forget for a while. She hadnt laughed out loud in a long time. Where you get paid to do things that you think are fun, I pay out good tuition money to be tortured by algebra.
Ill be in your boat in eighteen months.
Thats right. That math degree youre going to get. The machine spat out the charge receipt and she held the two-part paper steady while it printed. How her heart ached as those embers of old dreams struggled for life. She tore off the printed receipt and slid it across the counter. I need your autograph, and then youre free to go, soldier.
Frees a relative term. He grabbed a pen from the cup by the register. My times pretty regimented.
I bet it is. Are you headed back to your base?
In a few hours. Im free until then. He scrawled his signature at the bottom of the slip.
Too bad shed given up on dreams. She didnt know if she felt relief or regret.
I hope you enjoy your books. She slipped his receipt into the bag and presented it to him. Im glad to see youre doing so well. I wish you luck, Mitch.
Youre letting me go, just like that?
Well, what else am I supposed to do? Generally we let customers leave our store. We seldom hold them hostage.
Im not talking about other customers. Im talking about me. We could renew our friendship.
We were never really friends, you know.
What did that leave him with? Renewing his secret crush on her? He took his bag, but the last thing he wanted to do was leave. She was still the nicest girl hed ever laid eyes on. He could use a little nice in his world. It wasnt something he saw much of.
We could be friends now, he suggested with his best grin.
But you said you were headed back to California. Sweetly, she studied him through her long lashes.
A mass of emotions struck him like shrapnel to his chest. Emotions werent his realm of expertise, but he felt strong with a fierce steely need hed never felt beforeto protect her, to make her smile, to make her every sadness go away.
Not really in his comfort zone, but a crush was a crush. What was a guy to do?
He tried again. Im not leaving for a while. We could still be friends.
I have enough friends. Her eyebrow crooked up in a challenge.
So, she was giving him a hard time on purpose. You get a dinner break, right?
Now and then they loosen the chains and let me out for a bit. Kelly folded her arms in front of her, considering him.
You get a dinner break, and Im hungry for dinner. Its a coincidence.