It was her. He could feel it like a shiver in his bones.
His body reacted on pure instinct, his arms reaching out to catch her as she ran past the narrow opening of the alley. He pulled her into the dark recess, closing his arms around her as she flailed to escape.
Its me, he whispered in her ear.
She stopped struggling, but he could feel the pounding of her heart where her slender back pressed against his chest. Underneath one arm, something in her abdomen fluttered against his wrist, then thumped solidly against his grasp, making him swallow a gasp of surprise.
He urged her toward the other end of the alley and out of the line of sight. Around the corner of the building was a large trash receptacle. The smells from inside were ripely unpleasant, but it offered a decent hiding place until he could be certain the men whod apparently been chasing her down the sidewalk had given up.
She huddled close to him, as if seeking his warmth, though she was furnace-hot against his chest. When she spoke, it was barely a whisper. What are you doing here?
Saving you, he answered.
Chapter Three
Her name was not Yasmin Hamani, though every piece of identification she possessed proclaimed her to be so. She was not a widowed immigrant from Kaziristan, though over the past few months she had almost convinced herself she was.
But burrowed into the solid strength of Connor McGinniss arms, breathing in his familiar scent, hearing the steadying beat of his heart beneath her ear, she allowed herself the truth.
She was Parisa DeVille McGinnis, Risa for short. Her mother was a Kaziri woman whod married the strapping young US marine whod saved her from death in a terrorist attack in her war-torn homeland. Risa herself had married a marine, a smart, brave and loyal man shed met in the mountains of Kaziristan many years later. Like her parents, theyd been on track for their own happily-ever-after.
Until Risa McGinnis had died in a bomb attack on a commercial flight from Kaziristan to the US almost seven months ago. The plane had disappeared from radar over the Pacific and only a few pieces of debris had been found floating in the ocean near the planes last coordinates on the radar.
All souls lost.
Well, all the souls whod actually made it aboard the plane.
We need to get moving. Connors voice rumbled in her ear. Lose the roosari.
She tugged the scarf from her head and shoved it into the pocket of her coat. She allowed herself a quick look at him, though the sight of his face, so close, so achingly familiar, left her feeling breathless and light-headed.
How far away do you live? he asked quietly.
You cant go there. I live alone, unprotected. The words came out so easily, as if she truly was the woman whose life shed lived for months now.
Im your husband, Risa.
Something inside her chest melted and began to warm her from the inside out. But they think Im a widow.
I hope I died a heroic death. His dry tone should have made her laugh, but her heart ached too much.
Where are you staying? she asked. We could go there.
Its not far from here. He draped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer. Remember, youre not Yasmin now. Youre Parisa. Sexy and smart. You take no prisoners. And youre with me.
She looked at him, her heart breaking. Im sorry.
Well worry about apologies later. He nodded toward the trash-strewn alley stretching out in front of them. Ready?
Risa nodded, ignored the ache in her back and legs, and wrapped her arm around his waist.
Huddled together against the cold, they hurried down the darkened alley until they reached the main drag, where streetlamps lent a twilight glow to the nightlife tableau. It was past ten now, but even on a weeknight, the traffic flow, both vehicular and pedestrian, would continue past midnight.
By the time Connor led her to a shabby-looking walk-up just a couple of blocks east of Vine Street, Risas back was starting to cramp. To her relief, there was just one flight of stairs to climb before he stopped and led her down the hall to a door marked 201. He unlocked the door and let her inside.
Compared to his place, hers looked almost homey. His living room consisted of a couple of mismatched wooden chairs around a table, and a third chair sat facing the window. A laptop computer lay closed on the table next to a take-out box.
Have you eaten? he asked, tossing his keys on the table.
She eyed him warily. His calm, businesslike demeanor wasnt what shed expected from her husband upon learning she hadnt actually died.
Shed spent the past seven months letting him believe she was dead. If the situation had been reversed, shed have been furious.
Except he didnt seem furious, either. He seemed...distant.
Food? he asked again. I dont have much here, but I can run across the road to the all-night diner.
Im not hungry. She shrugged off her coat and looked around the bare apartment. But I could use a bathroom.
His gaze dropped to her round belly. Right. He nodded toward the narrow hallway just off the main room. Its the door on the right.
The door on the left was open, revealing a darkened bedroom. In the low ambient light seeping into the hallway from the living room, she saw that his bed was little more than a bunk, wide enough to accommodatebarelya man Connors size.
This was a mission, she realized as she closed the bathroom door behind her. Not a man looking for his missing wife, but a soldier on assignment. That was why he was so distant.
He was looking at her as his job, not his wife.
Shaking from a combination of cold and delayed reaction, she stared into the wide hazel eyes of the pregnant woman in the cabinet mirror and realized shed never felt so alone in her life.
* * *
NO EMOTIONS. EMOTIONS are messy and unreliable.
Connor gazed out the window at the street below. The snow had started again, coming down in light flurries. He was glad they were out of the cold for the night.
Am I staying?
Risas soft alto sent a shiver rippling down his spine. He turned to find her standing in the doorway, one shoulder leaning against the frame. The docile young Kaziri widow was gone, and the clear-eyed CIA agent hed fallen for three years ago had taken her place.
I dont think you should risk going back to your apartment.
I dont have a change of clothes.
I have a shirt you can borrow. He regretted the words even as they slipped between his lips, for they reminded him of long, sweet nights of lovemaking, followed by lazy mornings with Risa wandering around their apartment in his shirt and little else.
She ran her hand over the large bulge of her stomach. Make it a big shirt.
He wasnt going to ask. He wasnt. If she had something to tell him about the baby, she would.
Wouldnt she?
The Risa hed known would have played it straight with him. Always.
But the Risa hed known wouldnt have let him believe she was dead when she wasnt.
You must have so many questions, she murmured, walking slowly toward him. She was trying to play it cool and sophisticated, the sexy spy in control, but carrying around a baby inside her was apparently hell on the femme fatale act. She still looked sexy, but in an earth-mother sort of way, all fecund beauty and softness.
You must have so many questions, she murmured, walking slowly toward him. She was trying to play it cool and sophisticated, the sexy spy in control, but carrying around a baby inside her was apparently hell on the femme fatale act. She still looked sexy, but in an earth-mother sort of way, all fecund beauty and softness.
He couldnt hold back a smile. You can drop the act, Risa. You just cant sell it with that beach ball youre carrying under that dress.
She stopped, looking uneasy. Why arent you asking the obvious questions?
He played dumb. What are the obvious questions?
How did you survive the plane crash, Risa?
How did you survive the plane crash, Risa?
I never got on the plane. She took another step.
Why didnt you call me, Risa?
He stayed quiet that time, struggling to control a potent storm of anger and hurt churning in his chest.
Dalrymple pulled me off the flight. He told me there was a price on my head and I needed to lie low. Then we heard the plane crashed.
He looked at her through narrowed eyes, wondering if he could trust what she was saying. It was so pat. So obvious. Hell, maybe she even believed the story herself. Maybe Martin Dalrymple really had pulled her off the plane and told her about a price on her head. The plane crash immediately after his warning was a convincing touch.
A little too convincing, maybe.
You think I havent wondered the same thing? she asked softly, moving another step closer. If he reached out now, he could touch her. Pull her close to him the way he had out in the cold alley. Feel her heart beating against his chest once more, something hed thought he would never experience again. You think I didnt wonder if Dal was pulling a scam on me?
But he kept his hands by his side. Dalrymple isnt known for his truthfulness.
I know. She put her hand on her belly. But if he wasnt lyingI couldnt take the chance. There was too much at stake. Not just me.
His gaze fell to where her hand cupped her round belly, despite his determination to remain unaffected. You mean the baby?
I didnt know I was pregnant when I agreed to play dead. Her voice was soft, her tone sincere. I found out almost a month later. But youd already held the memorial service. Youd left the Marine Corps.
So, what? You decided that what I didnt know wouldnt hurt me?
No, of course not
Because it did. His grasp on his emotions broke, and a flood of anger and old grief poured into his throat, threatening to choke him. It hurt like all hell. It still does. Every damn day.
Her face crumpled. Im sorry.
Sorry you let me believe you were dead? He closed the distance between them in one furious step. Or sorry that I found out you werent?
She put her hand on his chest. His brain told him to shake off the touch, but the feel of her palm warm against his sternum, so damn familiar and longed for, nearly unmoored him.
He closed his hand over hers, holding it against his chest. Do you have any idea what it was like, hearing youd died on that plane?
Im sorry. Tears spilled down her cheeks, unchecked. I wanted to let you know, but Dal said you were in danger
Dal said. He spat the mans name with contempt, his anger finding an easier target. I dont give a damn what Dal said. You told me you were quitting, Risa. We agreed. We were done. Its why you were on your way home from Kaziristan in the first place.
I know, but
We had a life planned, Risa! You and me and a house of our own in a place we both loved instead of living out of suitcases and passing in the airport, remember?
She wiped her eyes with her knuckles. I remember.
He raked his fingers through his hair, trying not to let his emotions get the best of him. Focus, Marine. Who were the men you were following?
I dont know, she answered. She sounded as if she was telling the truth, but he realized he just couldnt be certain. Not anymore.
So why were you following them? he asked.
She moved toward the window, standing just a little short of it, as if she worried she might be seen from the street. I shouldnt have come here. People will notice if I dont go home. In some ways, living in an immigrant community can be like living in a small town. Everybody keeps an eye out for everybody else.
He noticed that she had formed a habit of rubbing her belly when she spoke, as if she was soothing the child inside. He didnt want to ask the next question, but he had to.
Am I the father, Risa?
* * *
RISA HAD BEEN expecting the question. Dreading it, because of what it would mean. But she hadnt realized how much his show of distrust would hurt, even as she understood why he harbored it.
Youre the father, she said simply, because anything else would only exacerbate his doubts.
And you werent ever going to tell me I had a child?
Honestly, Connor, I hadnt thought that far ahead. She turned back to the window. I was supposed to be on the plane. But Dal had heard chatter that al Adar had put a target on my back. We knew they had people placed in the airports and other means of transportation.
So he took you off the plane and sent two hundred and twelve other people to their deaths to fake yours?
God, no! She turned to look at him. I would never have allowed that. You know that.
But its what happened, isnt it?
He looked so angry, she thought, her own chest tightening in response. Was anger the only feeling he had left for her now?
He seemed genuinely shocked by the bomb on the plane. Connor, he sent another agent on that plane to take my place so al Adar would think I was going to be landing in San Diego as we planned.
Pain flashed across his expression. I was waiting there. For hours. They didnt tell us right away that something had gone wrong. I got a call from Jason Ridgeway. Hed seen it on the news. A Russian airliner had disappeared somewhere over the Pacific.
Im sorry. It wasnt supposed to happen that way.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, raking his hand through his already-tousled hair. Okay. You didnt expect the crash. But what about after that? You couldnt let me know you were alive?
Dal said
I dont care what Dal said! His voice came out in a pained roar. He turned his back to her, visibly trying to regain control. She waited silently, giving him time and space to do so.
Finally, he faced her. Im sorry. What did Dal say?
It doesnt matter. I should have contacted you. I was justit was one thing to think I was being targeted. But to know that theyd kill over two hundred people just to kill me
Pretty shattering, huh? For the first time, Connor sounded sympathetic.
Very shattering. She pressed her palm against the curve of her belly, taking comfort in the gentle wriggling of the baby inside her. Heor shecould probably sense her tension. Not for the first time, she wondered whether she was carrying a girl or a boy. Her ob-gyn had offered her the chance to find out the babys sex, but shed wanted to wait until birth.
Until this moment, she hadnt known why shed wanted to wait. But watching Connors gaze follow the movement of her hand, she realized she had always hoped that somehow, against all odds, shed be able to share the birth of this child with her husband.