Dermot glanced at the tag. Four hundred, he said.
I never pay more than three hundred. She shook her head. I cant afford this one.
But you want it.
I cant have everything I want, Rachel said. I have the farm and now the boys. There are just better ways to spend my money. Rachel shrugged. Another one will come along.
But you love this one, he said. You should have this one.
His determination startled her. It was just a quilt. Shed passed on many of them before because of price or condition or budget considerations. Shed learned not to grow attached. Another will come along. And it will be better than this.
With a soft curse, Dermot gathered the quilt up and tucked it under his arm. He carried it to the register and set it down, Rachel following hard on his heels. What are you doing?
Id like to buy this, he said. Dermot pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and laid down four hundred-dollar bills.
Rachel recognized the money immediately. It was nearly all the money hed made working on the farm. What are you doing?
Im buying you the quilt. You said you wanted it.
I didnt want you to buy it for me, she said. If I wanted it, Id buy it myself. She put her hand over the quilt. Sylvia, were just going to talk about this for a bit, if you dont mind.
Sylvia, Ive made up my mind, Dermot countered. I want the quilt. Please put it in a nice bag.
Its a gift.
I dont need a gift, Rachel said, her frustration growing. Just stop.
He paid for the quilt and then tucked the bag under his arm and strode out of the shop. Rachel looked at Sylvia, baffled at what had transpired.
Enjoy your quilt, the shopkeeper said.
She found Dermot standing on the sidewalk, his shoulders tense, his expression cloudy. His mood had turned so suddenly and Rachel couldnt figure out why. Im sorry, she said. I didnt mean to seem ungrateful. Im just used to buying quilts on my own.
No. Im sorry. I shouldnt have gotten so mad. I was just I shouldnt have snapped.
Rachel stood beside him, staring out at the traffic on the street. Why did you get mad?
You said that another quilt would come along. You wanted this one, but you were willing to let it go, knowing that another one would come along. Do you think youd ever regret letting this one go?
Maybe. But its just a quilt. And usually a better one comes Suddenly, Rachel realized what he was angry about. She groaned inwardly. So at first men were donkeys and then they were sofas. And now theyre quilts?
When you say it like that, it sounds really stupid, Dermot said. I guess Im just a little sensitive. He laughed. Shit, I cant believe I just said that. Im not sensitive.
You are not a quilt, she said. Im not going to throw you aside for another man or quilt.
I wont be here. Another quilt will come along. Like that Danny guy at the fair. Has he called yet?
Rachel winced. He had called. And emailed twice. Shed put him off, but had decided to accept a lunch invitation after Dermot left. Hes not you.
But hell become me, once Im gone. Hes called, hasnt he?
Yes. But I dont have any plans to go out with him. Maybe well meet for lunch, but were not going on a date. Were just friends.
Thats how we started, Dermot muttered.
No, we started as lovers. And then we became friends.
He walked off down the street and Rachel followed after him. Shed never seen him like this, so on edge, so frustrated. Dermot had always taken things lightly. And now hed gotten upset buying a quilt? Maybe saying goodbye was going to be a lot more difficult that shed anticipated.
Rachel slipped her hand around his arm as he walked, falling into stride next to him. Can you just slow down for a second? So we can talk?
Id rather not discuss this. I feel kind of foolish right now. He stopped and held out the bag. Here. I bought this for you. I want you to have it. Enjoy it. And please forget the conversation that came with it.
Rachel pasted a bright smile on her face. A gift? she cooed. You bought me a gift. She examined the bag. What could it possibly be?
All right, lets not ignore the fact that I temporarily flipped out. Ive just been thinking about next week and how hard its going to be to leave. And we havent really talked about it. And I didnt think I was a jealous guy, but the thought of you just moving on to someone else irritates the hell out of me.
I understand, Rachel said.
Youre beautiful and funny and exciting and I just think that someone is going to notice that and youre going to find some guy and fall madly in love and
Who says I couldnt fall madly in love with you? she asked.
Could you?
Rachel nodded. Shed already fallen, and pretty hard at that. But she wasnt quite sure she wanted to admit it. Yet. What about you? Could you fall in love with me?
Dermot nodded. I think I could. He handed her the quilt. I want you to have this. I want you to remember who bought it for you. And no matter what happens between us, when you look at it, youll think of me. And maybe if you sleep under it, youll dream of me. He laughed. Strike that last part. That was horribly cheesy.
I thought it was kind of romantic, Rachel said.
I dont know whats wrong with me.
They started off down the street, the mood lighter, their argument forgotten. But Rachel couldnt help but speculate over his strange behavior. Dermot was usually so smooth, so charming. Everything that came out of his mouth was carefully crafted to make her feel beautiful and important. And now, suddenly, he was stumbling all over himself to express his feelings.
Maybe he was falling in love, Rachel mused. Or maybe he was in love already. She drew a long, slow breath. If that was true, then everything had just become a lot more complicated.
8
BY THE TIME DERMOT finished his shower, he was ready to relax. He and Rachel had spent the entire afternoon doing a health check on the herd, a tedious process that required looking over every goat, trimming hooves and checking ears and general health in preparation for breeding.
Since Trevor had decided to join the football team, he stayed after school every afternoon, joining the milking tasks an hour late. After the milking was done, the boys and Dermot cleaned the parlor and the shed and brought in fresh straw, while Rachel went back to the house to start dinner.
Dermot slipped his bare feet into his shoes and wandered out onto the porch, his unbuttoned shirt flapping in the warm breeze. He expected to find her sitting on the steps, a spot that had become their place to watch the sunset.
The boys were at the table doing their homework. Do you know where Rachel is? he asked.
She said she had to go out to the barn, Taylor said.
Dermot jogged down the steps, happy to find that theyd have a few more moments alone. Theyd fallen into a schedule of sorts over the past four days. Like any ordinary family there was a lot of juggling that went on, but it all seemed to work.
The boys were at the table doing their homework. Do you know where Rachel is? he asked.
She said she had to go out to the barn, Taylor said.
Dermot jogged down the steps, happy to find that theyd have a few more moments alone. Theyd fallen into a schedule of sorts over the past four days. Like any ordinary family there was a lot of juggling that went on, but it all seemed to work.
He looked for her in the office in the milking parlor and then walked through the goat barn. He found her sitting in a pile of straw next to Lady, the matriarch of the herd. A cluster of goats stood nearby, watching her.
Hey, he called. Whats taking so long? I thought youd be finished by now.
She turned to look at him and Dermot frowned. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. He hurried over to her and bent down. Is she sick? he said. Ill call the vet.
No, no. Rachel shook her head. Shes fine.
He sat down beside her. Whats wrong, then?
Rachel drew a ragged breath. Im just getting sentimental. Its time to stop breeding her. Shes got arthritis in her knees and she had a difficult birth last year. And shes starting to dry off already. So, her days as a dairy goat are over.
What happens then?
She just gets to relax. Shes given birth to twenty-two kids. Shes a wonderful mother. I remember when she was born. It was the year before I graduated from high school. She was the last nanny I showed at the fair before I left for art school. A fresh round of tears started. God, Im getting so old.
How old are you?
Twenty-five. How old are you?
Twenty-seven.
Were both old.
How long do goats usually live?
These goats live eleven or twelve years. She glanced over at the goats gathered nearby and shook her head. I used to be so much better about this. I dont know why Im suddenly so emotional.
Fresh tears trickled down her cheeks and she brushed them away impatiently. Dermot wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his lap, cradling her as she wept. Smoothing his hand over her tangled hair, he whispered soft words to soothe her, and after a while, her sobs subsided.
Its not about the goats, he said.
She looked up at him. What?
I dont think youre crying about the goats.
She sniffled. I dont want to talk about it.
He nodded, burying his face in her hair and kissing the top of her head. Dermot knew how she felt. With every day that passed, they came closer and closer to the time hed have to leave. Hed looked at the bus ticket at least four or five times each day, just to remind himself that his stay here was almost over.
Hed thought about calling his grandfather and telling him that hed found a brand-new life on Rachels farm. But he was reluctant to make such a big decision without returning home first. Hed been living a fantasy life here. Everything had been so perfect that he had a hard time believing it was real.
The ache in his heart was real. The emotions he felt every time he touched her were more than real. So what was holding him back? Shed made it clear that there were feelings on her side. But how did he know if theyd last? Was he willing to give up his entire life in Seattle for just a chance at a future with Rachel?
He glanced around at the goats in the barn. Over the past five weeks, hed grown to know them, too, their personalities, their silly idiosyncrasies. The kids were his favorites, little bundles of energy, always looking for trouble.
You know, with the boys here and Eddie to take care of the goats, maybe you could get away for a week. We could go on a vacation together. Some warm place with white sand beaches and fruity drinks?
We stop milking sometime around the end of December.
Dermot frowned. You just stop?
Well, two months before the kids are due, we stop milking the pregnant goats, which is usually most of them by that time. Then we only milk them once a day for two months after their kids are born. So things sort of slow down for a while before kidding starts.
So you will have time off?
Yeah. Except that we wont have any income coming in. And the goats still have to be fed and
It would be my treat, he said.
Rachel shook her head. I couldnt do that.
Why not? People do it all the time. We could call it a Christmas gift or a birthday gift or
Have you ever taken a woman on vacation and paid for everything?
Dermot opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again. No. But Ive never known a woman I wanted to spend my vacation with until I met you. Just promise me youll consider it.
It was strange to imagine a moment when he wouldnt be able to reach out and touch her. Dermot had learned so much during his time with Rachel, about life, about love. Hed watched the sun rise and set, the season change. And hed never felt more aliveor more vulnerable. Could he go back to a life that revolved around selling very rich people a yacht that they probably didnt need anyway?
It all seemed so dull and unimportant compared to the work hed been doing for Rachel. Almost like a game. In truth, there were times in the past when he felt like a con man, when he knew he was selling a boat simply because the buyer was seeking a status symbol and not a sailboat. But it was all good money, so he never questioned anyones motives.
He was good at his job, but was his job good for him? The more he thought about it, the more he began to wonder. Suddenly, working at Quinn Yachtworks didnt seem to mean so much. It wasnt who he was. It was just a job.
Rachel shifted in his arms and he looked down at her. Shed turned her face up to his and Dermot dropped a kiss on her lips. Better?
She nodded. Yeah.
Lady is a very special goat.
Rachel crawled out of his arms, then squatted down next to Lady and patted her. The goat shook her head, the bell around her neck clanking. Youre still the head mama, even if you wont have any more babies. Enjoy your retirement, Lady Belle.
She walked through the goats and stood in the doorway to the barnyard, the setting sun illuminating her face. Dermot crossed to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder.
Come on, lets go back to the house. Ill make you a nice hot bath and well have a glass of wine and relax.
They walked across the yard, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. The boys had finished their homework and were throwing a football around in the waning light, Benny running back and forth, trying to play with them. When they got inside, Dermot took her upstairs and gently undressed her, then filled the tub with hot water.
When she was settled, he sat down beside the tub and grabbed the sponge. Once it was lathered, he scrubbed her back, brushing aside her hair. Its been a good day, he said.
It has. And its nice having you here with me at the end of it all. She braced her arms on the edge of the old tub and looked up at him. Thank you.
Cupping her face in his hands, Dermot kissed her softly. No problem.
You know, youve been a really important part of this farm these last weeks. And worth a whole lot more than a hundred dollars a week.
How much am I worth? he asked with a playful smile.