Dads holding his own, but its bad, I guess. She bowed her head to count out her money. They caught it way too late to do anything.
Word has gotten around. The whole congregation is praying for him.
Thanks, Luke. She handed exact change to Enid. If anyone needs prayers, its my dad. It was nice seeing you.
She seized her receipt, turned her back on Hunter and grabbed her single bag of groceries from the end of the check stand. Back straight, she followed her son to the rows of carts near the door.
Dont look back, she told herself firmly. She didnt need one last look at the man. Shed learned all she needed to in his shocked and silent stare. Hed been traumatized seeing herthey shared that in common. Not that shed held even the faintest hope of a friendly reunion. No, not after the way theyd left things. But she hadnt expected him to look at her with horror either.
Mom, Ill carry that. Simon left the cart neatly with the others and tromped over to take the groceries from her. Is there any chance Grandpa has neighbor kids my age?
I have no idea. Ill give Myra a call when we get home. She knows everyone around here. Her feet may be carrying her forward, but her mind remained with the man dressed in black. She could feel Hunters gaze as she trailed her son into the ovenlike heat of summer.
Suddenly aware of her wash-worn clothes and the hair she hadnt fussed with before leaving the house, she headed toward the truck. She could still feel Hunters gaze as she crossed the lota cold gaze, when it had once been so loving. Why did that still hurt so much?
Their first meeting could have gone worse. She dug the keys out of her purse. Thank You, Father, for that.
* * *
Millie? Hunter couldnt get over the shock watching her walk away. Millie was back?
Hunter, move along, were waiting. Luke nudged his brother, his tone teasing.
Fine, he deserved that. He hadnt meant to be impatient; shopping always put him in a mood. The automatic doors opened and closed. Millie and the child were out of the building but not out of sight of the long front windows where a rusty, thirty-year-old Ford waited for them. It had taken a while to recognize her because shed changed so much.
Are you all right? Luke asked, kindly, always a good brother.
Hunter cleared his throat and gave his cart a shove forward. He wanted to look unaffected, as if seeing Millie didnt bother him one bit. He was tough. No woman was going to bring him to his knees. Hed learned a long time ago the best way to protect yourself from a broken heart was not to have one.
Not that that was the truth, but he didnt have to admit it, did he?
Because he didnt trust his voice, he said nothing and faced Enid with a nod. Maybe Luke would get the hint and go back to talking with his girlfriend. Over the beep-beep of the scanner he watched Millie disappear behind the far side of the pickupprobably getting the door for her kid.
That kid. Agony tore through him at the thought of Millies child. No, he couldnt think about her married to another man. Too painful. As he swiped his card and punched in his PIN, his gaze stayed stuck to the window.
Millie. She stepped into view, far from the bright, sunny girl hed loved so deeply that she outshone everything in his lifeevery other thing. There had been only her, beautiful and precious, and his great overwhelming love for her.
Thatll be eighty-seven dollars and forty-six cents. Enid punched a button and her cash register spat out his receipt. Would you like paper or plastic?
Whatever. He didnt carehed forgotten the reusable bags again. He hardly noticed the box boy moving in to bag his purchases. All he could see was Millie climbing into her dads rusty old pickup. What had happened to the bounce in her step? To her wide, beaming smile that made everyone around her smile, too, unable to help themselves?
Out of the way, youre holding up the line. Judging by the laughter in Lukes voice, he was enjoying this.
I dont want to get back with her if thats what you think. He rolled his eyes, glad Luke couldnt read his thoughts. Millie, on her own, with a child? Nothing angered him more than a mother on her own struggling to pay for groceries. Where were the fathers? Why werent they better men? A man takes care of his family, thats the way it was supposed to be.
Sure, it was an old issue with him. It brought back memories of how hard their dad had been on Mom. Never reliable, always out gambling or drinking, always shirking his responsibilities. Hunters guts twisted up thinking Millies life obviously hadnt turned out much different. There hadnt been a wedding ring on her left hand.
Hed checked.
Ill see you back at the ranch. It wasnt easy to unclamp his jaw. He took charge of his cart and steered it toward the automatic doors. Out of the corner of his eye he watched Milliestill slim and gracefulhop onto the seat. When she closed the door, he lost sight of her. Too much glare on the side window.
She wasnt going anywhere in that truck, or didnt she know it? He frowned, arrowing his cart at his vehicle, parked two spaces away from the rusted heap Whip Wilson should have junked long ago. While Hunter was sorry the man was dying, he should have at least told his daughter about the barely working transmission. Whip had never been a good dad either.
Not your business, Hunter, he told himself passing by at top speed. The cart rattled and bucked in protest, but minding his own business turned out to be impossible. Behind him, the rusted pickups engine coughed to life, pistons misfiring. He yanked the cart to a stop, wedging it against the side of his truck so it wouldnt roll away. Disappointed in himselfa truly tough man, one who was completely over a breakupwould put his groceries in the truck and drive away.
But did he?
No, you are a fool, Hunter McKaslin. His feet took him around to the drivers side of Millies truck. Shed rolled down the window, concentrating so hard on trying to figure out what was wrong, frowned brow, pursed lips, and he made himself like steel. Not going to notice how pretty she was.
Surprised, she jerked in her seat. Hunter. You about gave me a heart attack. What are you doing sneaking up on me?
I wish I knew. He leaned his forearms against the hot metal door, peering in at her. Guess Whip should have told you the truck doesnt have Reverse.
What do you mean? It says R right here on the gearshift. She blew out a huff of frustration. Of course it has Reverse. It just doesnt want to go into Reverse.
Whips been driving around without Reverse for a good year. Hard times had come to the Wilson spread, where Hunter had started working right out of high school. While he wasnt fond of Whip, the old man had taught him a lot about running a successful dairy. He was sorry for the Wilsons misfortune. Youll have to keep that in mind next time youre parking. Want me to give you a push?
No. The word popped out, showing Millies stubborn side, which still drove him crazy. He gritted his teeth until his molars hurt.
Just put it in Neutral and make sure the parking brake is off. He shoved away from the door, turning his back on her protests. Did she think he liked this either? No, not one bit. His heart felt ripped open looking at her, but he held himself as hard as stone. Maybe that way he wouldnt feel the pain or the loss.
Just put it in Neutral and make sure the parking brake is off. He shoved away from the door, turning his back on her protests. Did she think he liked this either? No, not one bit. His heart felt ripped open looking at her, but he held himself as hard as stone. Maybe that way he wouldnt feel the pain or the loss.
Or the fact that some other mans son sat beside her, looking at him with owlish eyes.
Dont think about the kid, he told himself, lock-jawed. Millies face drew himpinched and worried behind the glass. He couldnt seem to tear his gaze away from the wide blue eyes a man could fall into or the sweet set of her mouth that no longer smiled. His chest felt tight and achy wondering why.
Not your business. He planted his hands on the hood, braced his back and put some muscle into it. The truck eked backward a few slow inches before it gained momentum. Through the window shield, the dark, sleek cascade of Millies hair flipped as she looked over her shoulder, one slim hand on the steering wheel.
There. He let go, stepped back and watched the decrepit vehicle roll a few more feet. Good luck with that truck.
Thanks, I need that and a whole lot of prayer. She studied him through the window frame, the breeze tossing the ends of her soft hair.
She was definitely changed from the Millie hed known a decade ago. A stab of grief settled deep in his chest for the girl shed been, the laughing girl who he could no longer see in the serious-eyed woman. She nervously folded a flyaway lock of rich brown hair behind one ear.
You didnt have to do that, you know. Her chin went up in either a show of stubbornness or a statement of pride, but her expressive eyes shone with hurt.
This wasnt easy for her either. That helped. He shrugged his shoulders, trying to let go of the stress and the old wounds between them. Prayer, huh? The Millie I used to know didnt pray.
I do now. She dipped her chin as something private and vulnerable passed across her face, and he wondered at it. He opened his mouth to ask her what had happened, but instinct held him back.
Wouldnt that open a can of worms, one he wasnt interested in? Millie had been the one to leave him. Shed broken it off. Shed fled him, obviously for someone better. He tamped down the strike of agony and kept his eyes on heronly on herand not the boy sitting beside her. Shed obviously left him for another man, just as her father had said.
Im a praying man these days. Surprises you, right? He tossed her an easy grin, one that said he wasnt hurting and that he didnt care one whit that shed left him. Not true, but a man had his pride.
Absolutely. I would never have guessed independent, trust-no-one Hunter McKaslin would become a man of faith. A hint of a smile, and only a hint, touched the corners of her mouth.
Miracles do happen.
Guess youre proof of that. No twinkle gleamed in her eyes. Only the faintest warmth of humor touched her voice, which had once been so bright.
Only hard times could do that to someone. He steeled his spine, fighting the natural need to care about her. An old habit, that was all. It didnt mean a thing. Just like it didnt mean anything wanting to go to her and try to brush the worry off her face. He jammed his hands in his pockets instead. Im sorry about your father. He isnt an easy man.
No, he isnt.
But he taught me what I know. I wouldnt have a successful dairy if it wasnt for him and Milton. He swallowed hard, warring with himself. The smart thing to do was to tip his hat and walk away and pray he never saw the woman again. But was it the right thing to do?
Oh, you did get your own dairy? She tipped her head slightly, and a sleek dark lock of hair tumbled from behind her ear and back into her eyes. She shoved it away impatiently and the corners of her mouth turned upward into a genuine smile. Hunter, Im so happy for you. Its what you always wanted.
Luke and I run it together. He heard the rattle of a cart and the murmur of voices. When he checked over his shoulder, he spotted his brother and his girlfriend emerging from the store, pushing a loaded cart. Ive got to go. Were having a family barbecue.
Sounds like fun. I got an email from Brooke last week that Ive been meaning to answer, but no time. She gripped the steering wheel tighter. I hear she got married.
She did. Ill tell my sister you said hi. He took a step back, chest swelling with a sense of loss he couldnt explain. There had never been any might-have-beens when it came to him and Millie. She hadnt wanted him.
Not that he could honestly blame her for that, not completely. Shed needed what he hadnt been able to giveand never would. Let me know if Whip needs help. Word has it hes not up to managing the dairy.
Thanks, but Ive got it. The smile vanished, her chin went up and pure hurt shone in her eyes. The echoes of that hurt filled him as she put the truck in gear and drove away, the engine misfiring.
Hey, are you okay? Luke called out.
Yeah, fine. He waved away his brothers concern, doing his best to hide his sorrow. Some things werent meant to behe and Millie were one of them.
Chapter Three
Who was he? Simon asked as the truck backfired, the sound echoing like a gunshot along the peaceful town street.
You mean the man who gave us a push? Her pulse stuttered but she tried to pretend it hadnt.
He was real strong. Think I could shove a whole pickup like that? Probably not. Simon squirmed on his seat, restless and full of little-boy energy. I liked his hat. No one wears hats like that in Portland. Not that Ive seen.
Me either, but theyre everywhere around here. See? She pointed in the direction of the sidewalk where a Stetson-wearing man headed into the dime store. Everywhere.
My head would get really hot.
Mine, too. She couldnt help smiling, a genuine one this time. Her pulse evened out as the sputtering truck took them farther away from Hunter.
Hed changed so much since shed known him last. Hed matured, looking like a dream in a Stetson. It seemed as if hed mellowed a bit, too. Time had definitely improved him.
Not that she was interested. No way. It hurt too much. She slid her gaze across the bench seat to where her son sat, gazing out his window, taking everything in. It hadnt been an easy decision not to tell Hunter about his son. Through the years guilt continued to claw at her, but shed done what was best for Simon.
She knew there was a problem the instant the farm came into sight. A thousand Holsteins stood in a gigantic black-and-white cluster at their pasture gate, mooing. She lifted her foot from the gas pedal, and their combined chorus made enough sound to drown out the trucks backfire.
Mom, whats wrong with them?
Theyre waiting to be milked. That didnt seem to be the problem, though. The lack of farmhands did. She pulled onto the shoulder of the road. Only one vehicle sat in the shade of the barnMiltons old, battered truck. Had everyone else gone?
Im sorry, Millie. He stepped out of the shadowed doorway, lean shoulders slumped. This time was just the last straw. I got the boys to agree to come back when you can cover their checks if they havent found other jobs.