Nineteen.
Were almost the same age. Im twenty-one. I reached for her other hand. And youve just made me realize Ive been beating myself up for the past six months for something thats not my fault.
She knitted her eyebrows in a look Id soon learn to love.
My friend and I left medical school because we were disillusioned with the mess the last generation had made of the world. We saw no purpose in continuing our studies just to carry our degrees to the bread line and beg for handouts.
But doctors are needed all over the world.
Maybe so, but we were determined to go into research and work on cures for malaria and smallpox. Now all the research projects have been shut down for lack of funding.
Research is fine, she said, but do you realize the British take all our resources, and what do they give us in return? Protection! Protection, they say, from invasion, from illnesses, from our own ignorance. If they would only give us a little medical help, we would be most grateful. But we have only a handful of doctors and nurses for our twenty million people.
Why, thats ridiculous, I said. You should have one doctor and a nurse for every five hundred people.
This is very true, but we would be happy if only our seriously ill could see a doctor from time to time. She was agitated now, and I smiled as I watched the blue fire in her eyes. Shed forgotten about her personal problems as she attacked the British overlords. The smallpox epidemic that took my mother, killed many thousands, and nothing was done to help us.
But schools. I know the British provide schools and government administration.
Ha! She laughed. The British have wonderful schools, the best. They bring many teachers from England to teach their precious children the proper way of speaking and eating and how to rule over the poor, retched natives the once-proud Burmese people have become. Our children still squat in mud huts and watch someone scratch numbers in the dirt. That is your wonderful British education system.
And if you were queen of Burma, what would you do?
Please, she said, pulling her hands from mine. Do not make of me a fool. I am not a child that is to be indulged. She looked away toward the palace. A light winked off in one of the tall towers.
Believe me, Kayin, I never indulge anyone. Im deeply interested in your thoughts and ideas about whats to be done with the world. Its our generation, yours and mine, thats to repair the damage done by rich old men, living in their ivory mansions. A year ago, I would have argued against you and on the side of the British. But now, I dont know what to think. I find it very difficult to take issue with you. I wanted our evening to be pleasant and beautiful. All afternoon, I thought only of how I could bring cheer into your life, and perhaps get you to like me a little. I really think of you as my intellectual equal, and when I ask what you would do if you were in control of your own country, I mean it as a theoretical question. What would you do if you suddenly had the power to do something for your people? I didnt know where this speech came from, but I was beginning to sound like the debater I once was.
Kayin looked at me for a long time. This wasnt the look I remembered from our walk to the bank earlier that day, where our conversation was light and carefree. This was a look of antipathy or malice.
You are American.
I nodded.
You are close to being British.
I shrugged, then shook my head. I didnt consider myself close to being British at all.
Then, may I put it this way? she asked. You are closer to British than to Burmese.
I agreed that was true.
Dont take this the wrong way, Mr. Busetilear, but if I were Queen of Burma, as you say, I would summarily kick out all the Anglos, including Americans, and also the Germans and especially the French, and do it smartly, too.
I believe you would, I said. I believe you would surely do it.
And now what do you think of your new Burmese friend?
What do I think of you? Now it was I who looked away to gather my thoughts. I think youre a rebel. Im pretty sure you know a bit of American history and of how we threw off the yoke of British rule a hundred and fifty years ago.
Yes.
They called us rebels and terrorists. They tried to suppress us with their military might. They will do the same thing here in Burma.
Let them try, she said, perhaps we have a Patrick Henry and a Betty Ross waiting somewhere in our own population.
Betsy, I thought but didnt correct Kayin this time.
I stood and held out my hand to her. After a moment, she took it and pulled herself up.
Lets go back to the hotel, I said.
And?
And well have a cup of tea in the dining room and talk about medical students and revolutionaries.
Chapter Three
In the hotel dining room, we shared a pot of tea, along with golden shweji, the little wheat cakes with coconut cream and raisins. We talked until 11 p.m., when the dining room closed. We then left the hotel to walk back toward her rooms, but as we reached the corner of the building, the skies opened in a heavy downpour.
This way, quickly! she said as she took a key from her purse while we ran.
When we reached a side entrance to the hotel, Kayin slipped the skeleton key into the lock and shoved open the door. We jumped inside, already wet from the rain, then she closed the door and locked it.
In that small anteroom, we stood facing another door, and across from it was a stairway leading up to the floors above. Kayin said the door led to the kitchen, where the cook and his staff would be cleaning up. Neither of us made the decision to take the stairs; it was simply the only option.
In my room, I gave her a towel and my robe while I went to the bathroom to put on dry clothes. When I came out, she was drying her hair, and I could see she kept on her wet clothes under the robe. I knew she was uncomfortable and nervous about being alone in the room with me, so I suggested we scoot the chairs out onto the balcony. The rain had stopped as suddenly as it had begun, and the moon peeked through a break in the clouds. Outside, she wouldnt feel threatened, and we could relax.
I had no intentions of trying to make love to her. If that came at some point later in our relationship, it would be fine; even wonderful. But not on this night. It wouldnt be proper. I wanted to know more about her past, as well as her plans for the future. Anyway, I had no idea how to get a woman into bed. Did one simply ask a girl to get undressed? Or should there be a few hours of drinks, jokes, and foreplay, as Id read in books? Perhaps the man patiently waited for the woman to tell him when it was time to proceed to the next step.
I hated my lack of experience in matters of love, and I knew when, or if, it came about, I was sure to make a hundred juvenile mistakes. Of course, I was aware of the mechanics and function of sex from my studies, but those professors of medicine wrote nothing of the emotional or sensual side of that most intimate of all human behaviors. Why had Raji and I never made love? If for no other reason than to see how to go about it and what should be done, and in what order. But no, we were too intellectual to indulge in the crass activities of other young people. We couldnt lower ourselves to waste time on romance. Too bad; I could certainly use the experience now.
We squeezed ourselves onto the little balcony, then relaxed in the chairs as we watched the city lights wink off one by one. The noises filtering up from the street slowly diminished until we heard only the occasional clatter of wheels on cobblestones as a rickshaw driver pulled his last customer home from a late night on the town.
Are you warm enough? I asked Kayin.
She smiled and nodded.
As we sat facing each other, with our knees touching, I could almost feel the pulse of her heartbeat.
Have you always lived in Mandalay? I asked.
Yes. I was born in the Quang Ka quarter, just down near the river.
We left the politics alone and talked about ourselves. Her mother died when Kayin was nine. She was raised by another member of her family. They didnt have enough money to send her to school, but she learned English from a man she called Than-Htay. At fourteen, she was already supporting herself and made her way as best she could by selling fresh fruit on the streets. She was then hired by the hotel because of her knowledge of English.
I talked about my mother and father, the farm in Virginia where I grew up, Octavia Pompeii Academy, then medical school. In the spring of 1928, my mother moved all the familys investments to government bonds. The returns werent so high compared to the roaring stock market, but investing in the stock market, she told me and Papa, was like riding a wild bullit was surely exciting, but at some point the beast would throw you to the ground and perhaps trample you to pieces. Because of her good judgment, my family was financially better off in 1932 than before the crash of 29. The good old U.S. government kept right on paying dividends on my mothers bonds, despite the Depression.
I told Kayin about leaving school and hiring on the ship bound for India. I wrote to my mother but didnt ask her for any money. With so many people suffering from the devastating economic depression, I felt I had no right to my familys money. Theyd built up the farm from nothing, and the bulk of their income now came from the government bonds and a small herd of miniature horses, but all that had nothing to do with me. I resolved to be as destitute as the vast majority of the world and try to make my own way.
By 3 a.m. on our first night together, Kayin and I knew almost as much about each other as we knew about ourselves. That was also when she began teaching me to speak Burmese. Ive always had a knack for languages, learning Hindi very quickly from Raji. The grammar was a bit difficult, but slang was my biggest problem. Learning a nations slang is always the downfall when one tries to go native.
What time do you have to be at work? I asked her.
Seven.
I walked with her the few blocks to her home, a nearby apartment located above a shop, where she lived with another girl. I asked why she didnt live at the hotel, and she told me it was far too expensive.
She would get only a few hours sleep before returning to work, so I decided to get up early and find things to do around the city. If she had to stay awake all day, then I would, too.
We met for lunch at the Yadana cafe.
Do you not tire of restaurant food, she asked, all time, every meal?
Yes. Its all right for a while, but then everything begins to taste the same. I broke a cracker and spread a little butter on it.
She sipped her tea and glanced over at a waiter who picked up a few coins from a nearby table. And it is also quite expensive.
I know. I nibbled my buttered cracker.
Will you not come to our home for dinner tonight? Her teacup rattled into the saucer when she hit the rim instead of the center. Her face flushed a little as she looked down at the offending cup.
Willingly, I said. But your roommate?
Lanna will not mind, Kayin said quickly. She shall be glad of the company.
We set a time for me to drop by for dinner that evening as we walked back to the hotel.
You must be exhausted, I said.
No, not at all. I found last night very delighted.
Delightful, I said. Does it bother you when I correct your English?
I am grateful to you for doing that. How else should I know?
And, I said, as you teach me Burmese, you can give the corrections back to me.
I will, she replied as we came to the door of the hotel. I will be looking for you tonight.
Kayin touched my hand, and I had the distinct feeling she wanted to kiss my cheek but held back. I certainly wanted to kiss her.
She hurried into the hotel and back to work.
* * * * *
Lanna and Kayins home consisted of two small rooms and a tiny kitchen above a weavers shop in Hoa-Bin Road. They shared a communal washroom with some other families in the building next to theirs.
Wheres Lanna? I asked as I settled myself on the floor at a low table where Kayin had directed me.
She ran to the kitchen to attend to something on the stove. She had to go on urgent family business, will return in two hours, she said as she brought a large tray to the table. More or less, she added and gave me a quick smile as she took her place on the floor across the table from me.
What a wonderful dinner we had. Central to the meal was a large platter of steamed rice, with a delicious chicken curry, along with two large salads for us to share. One called lephet, and the other a ginger salad. The lephet was carefully arranged on a long plate with a multitude of ingredients, including dried shrimp, toasted yellow peas, sesame seeds, fried garlic, green peppers, lime juice, and green chilies, all mixed at the table according to ones taste. For desert, we had a tasty coconut custard.
As we cleared the table and put away the food, I told Kayin it was the best meal Id had since I left home for the academy, five years before. With typical Burmese modesty, she refused to take credit for the meal, saying Lanna had done most of the preparation before she left.
It was late, and Lanna hadnt come back. Kayin showed no concern about her roommate, and I soon realized she probably wouldnt be home that night.
Chapter Four
The technical difficulties Id pondered over the proper approaches to making love never developed. We were simply sitting on cushions next to each other on the floor, listing to Glenn Millers music coming over the radio from the BBC, when she laid her head on my shoulder. I slipped my arm around her, then, almost as a continuation of my movement, she tilted her head back, leaving our lips on a slow collision course. From that point on, nature took complete control of our bodies.
The last thing I remember was hearing the words to Cole Porters Lets Do It, Lets Fall in Love. Then it was another night without sleep, but neither of us minded. I think Kayin realized from my fumbling that Id never been in bed with a woman. She whispered into my ear that she wasnt sure about what to do, so wed have to learn together. By sunrise, we were both thoroughly initiated in the art of lovemaking.
All the next day, I prowled libraries, museums, parksdoing anything to stay awake. Finally, in the evening she came to my room. We didnt bother with food or drink, but went straight to bed and slept soundly in each others arms until four in the morning. We got out of bed two hours later, and I walked her home so she could get ready for work.