You, Vladimir Ilyich, should refuse to eliminate the army as such. Arming the masses of the people will lead to nothing. And we dont have that many weapons. Change your setup and give a different instruction, Vladimir Ilyich.
Why, comrade Trotsky? why? I cant give up my scientific beliefs. Prove me wrong, prove me wrong! come on, Im listening.
We need to create a Red Army with the involvement of officers of the former tsarist army.
To attract officers to the side of the revolution, like Tukhachevsky? Why not? I agree. In addition, we have a lot of mercenaries, Hungarians, Germans, poles and all the other bastards, even the Chinese. The Germans gave us three million marks for the maintenance of such an army. Prepare a decree, I will sign it immediately, without hesitation. You will be the commander-in-Chief of the red army, because I dont understand a thing about it. Just this. Comrade Dzerzhinsky and I decided to take and shoot hostages if the Commissar disappeared. You will consider his experience. If a former tsarist officer refuses to serve in the red army, shoot his family and hang him. But this must be done so that everyone knows and is afraid. The world revolution cannot do without fear and violence.
The draft Decree on the creation of the red army, I have ready, Vladimir Ilyich, only your signature is required. This is the folder where the project is waiting for your signature, Vladimir Ilyich.
Well, Trotsky, well, Trotsky! Wow! The revolutionary self-confidence is to my liking. And in your project on the establishment of the red army death squads available? Yes? Then Ill sign it right now.
Lenin took a blue pencil and raised it over the decree.
Thank you, Vladimir Ilyich, this is for history. But what about the NKVD Commissars, they will always be under the guardianship of Dzerzhinsky?
These troops have already been created, comrade Trotsky, and they will be the internal troops under the command of the outstanding revolutionary Dzerzhinsky. And you must be an outstanding General. You graduated from the military Academy, didnt you?
I went to the military Academy once on some business, Vladimir Ilyich, Trotsky admitted. I was invited to the second year, but I refused, because it was a bourgeois Academy.
So youre related to the military Academy. I also studied this way: I went in, looked at it, turned away, and then passed everything in an external exam, slightly greasing it. And you came, and you came, and you came again. You can shoot, you can hang enemies of the revolution. You can, of course, so you are an outstanding commander. I am an outstanding leader and head of state, although I have never even managed a bathhouse. But I am principled and always turn to Marx. Im an outstanding scientist myself. My teaching is based on control, on intransigence, on the absence of bourgeois democracy and morality. And my slogan is: shoot, shoot, and shoot again. Remember this, comrade Trotsky, if you want to become an outstanding commander.
With the help of a carrot and stick, we can attract to our side some of the officers of the Russian army, who have gained extensive experience in conducting military operations in the First world war.
A whip, only a whip and a pistol, comrade Trotsky. And that means being shot for the slightest offense, even for trying to apologize. Now lets get started. Bronstein, Lenins kindred spirit and blood, was as cruel and vindictive as his teacher. The first experience showed that you need not only a stick, but also a carrot in order to attract an officer to your side and make him serve in the red army.
Lieutenant Volodya Pavlov, left his unit on his own and returned to the seething Petrograd. When one of the Ministers was being taken to the basement in a neighboring street to be shot as a saboteur, his daughter, receiving blows with buttocks, still accompanied her father to the basement threshold, and then fainted. Volodya jumped up, took her in his arms, and returned with her to the entrance from which she had come. So the acquaintance took place, and after the acquaintance there were feelings. Pavlov decided to marry Zoe. During the wedding in one of the temples, where relatives were present, both on the part of the bride and the groom, Commissars broke into the temple and, pointing pistols, took everyone to the basement, including the priest.
In the dark and cold, the prisoners sat for three days and only then did the envoys of the commander-in-chief of the red army, Trotsky, come to them.
Whos Pavlov? the Commissioner asked.
Be silent, pleaded his wife, who had not yet known him as a wife.
I repeat, who is Pavlov? admit it-it will be worse.
I am, said Volodya, puffing out his chest proudly.
So Pavlov, if you want to save your wife, your parents and relatives, make an oath that you will serve in the red army and fight for the triumph of communism. According to Lenins wise instructions, the imperialist war is now turning into a civil war.
Fight against your own people? Not for the world, the officer said.
Well. Youre all going to be shot.
With tears in his eyes, and Volodyas mother fell on her knees, everyone began to beg him to agree to serve in the red army. And Volodya gave this consent. All were released, including Volodya, giving him three days of leave to stay with his young wife, and then he must report to the military commandants office for further service in the red army.
These experiments involving officers of the tsarist army worked. A year later, the red army had about three million men in its ranks.
The civil, fratricidal war was in full swing. Lenin was the political organizer and mastermind of this shameful fratricide in the history of Russia. The psychology of the executioner and hitherto unseen demagogy began to yield positive results.
8
A representative of various Jewish concessions and communities, Sofya Zlikovna Koshman, sat in the reception room of Ilyich, waiting for an appointment. All members of the Politburo were already in the waiting room, knowing that at 9: 45 a.m. Ilyich was drinking tea, letting go of the belt on his trousers, scratching his beard, and looking in the mirror. When the hands on the clock showed 1000, you could go in without knocking.
But Sophia, who was waiting for an appointment on the recommendation of the proletarian writer Maxim Gorky, made adjustments to the established order. In addition, leyba Bronstein shot first with his left and then with his right eye, spoke incoherently to an unknown guest, and Apfelbaum-Zinoviev brazenly asked where the guest got so many diamonds and whether she would blind the leader of the world revolution during the conversation. All this indicated that the guest is not an easy visitor. If there was any whispering about it, it was only in whispers, and then hints and even signs on the fingers. There was no doubt that the guest would be the first to enter Ilyichs office and dazzle him with her attire.
As soon as the hands on the clock approached ten, Leiba went into the office of the leader of the peoples, but something suspiciously quickly left. He looked so confused and almost wet that everyone thought that Ilyich had thrown him out of the office with a Bang, depriving him not only of conversation, but of a caustic remark, for which he was an inimitable master.
And Sophia, in a gorgeous dress that trailed on the floor, was smiling, trying to talk to anyone, even though she knew only Bronstein Trotsky personally.
And Sophia, in a gorgeous dress that trailed on the floor, was smiling, trying to talk to anyone, even though she knew only Bronstein Trotsky personally.
Trotsky, looking straight at her, uttered a short sentence in a loud voice so that everyone could hear:
The chief of the peoples is waiting for you, and and then, after the interview, I would like to meet you alone, my goddess.
As always, believing that all the charms would go to him, the commander of divisions of the red army, he fought not with the lady who already nested in his heart, but with time that stretched out on its own. Apfelbaum even grabbed the end of her dress, which was dragging on the carpet, but Sophie had a hard look that said, get off me, pygmies.
Leyba managed to open the door, leaned forward, banging his forehead on the door jamb, and Sofia went with a Royal gait into the study, where a stuffed animal sat in the semi-darkness, scratching his bald head with dirty nails. She kept wanting to give him the reticule and didnt know how to do it. Finally, the reticule itself fell from his hands, and Ilyich involuntarily screamed: bomb, terrorism, save!
But no one heard his voice. Sophia was forced to bend down and open her purse, and the diamond flashed all over the office, blinding the small, evil eyes of the leader of the peoples.
You are so careful that it borders on, it is better to abstain. Let me sit down, ZUZIK, as the Germans call you.
Oh, there is more wealth here than all the members of the Politburo!
Youre funny, Leiba, I need a dick, not a dick. Im not as depraved as you think. This is just a piece of what belongs to our family.
I will give it to the diamond Fund, which is the envy of our outstanding member Katznelson-Sverdlov Yankel.
Come on, n will take it. This diamond is worth 500 kilograms of gold.
Where did you get this? Why didnt the Bolsheviks expropriate?
Why? I give it to you. Your father gives it to you. He runs the Petrograd banks.
Already Leningrad, lady. What is your name, may I ask? It seems it seems that you, you, and not I, are leading the attack, and this is arch important and arch dangerous. What are your and your fathers requirements?
My father is a Jew Koshman banks and Im Jewish Sophia Serikovna Koshman, not married, not belong to any party. We have a request, not a demand. Do not offend the Jews, do not kill them, do not take away their property. If the Jews are rich, then the country is rich. I dont think you want to have a poor country. Besides, are you a Jew yourself, or are you a Jew like all your colleagues who have renounced their faith and their names? A little bit, a little bit. So what? The Soviet government liquidates nationality as such. Every gussky du AK will henceforth be a b-Soviet person.
Lenin sat in a massive leather chair and stroked his bald head with the palm of his right hand.
Volodya, I did not think that you have changed so much, become so cautious, and this is called cowardice in Yiddish. This is a gift from our family. And I am delegated by all the Jewish communities. What can I say to them, because the Jews, called from all over Europe, are helping you to create lawlessness in the land that you so easily captured.
They are proletarians. AZ will repay. As soon as we establish socialism in Russia, we will move to Poland, Germany, France, and so on.
And he suddenly smiled, seeing and appreciating her beauty.
Um, I have Inessa-a beautiful woman, but this whats your name? We could get along. My body begins to react, I become stronger, younger, new ideas appear, revolutionary, proleta sian. Yes ZDand with all Naya socialist evolution. But first, why are you here, what do you want, what are your requests for such a beautiful Jewish woman? I must admit, this is the first time Ive seen such a Desdemona. Come on, cut my bald head off. Where to go. Every man is weak.
Vladimir Ilyich, are you a Jew? you didnt answer that question.
Theres a little something, but why?
Why did you declare the nationalization of banks and make all the Jews of the country poor? Our family and I are ruined. Where do we go now? With your hand outstretched? So I came to you and held out my hand. It seems that the Jews are not the last of your robbers, who are popularly called Jews. Is everyone like that in your Politburo?
They are all hussars, and I am the most hussar among these tailless apes. And when we begin to liberate Germany and then England, I will be a German and then an Englishman. Why? Yes, because the Bolsheviks renounce nationality as such. Now we will not have a Russian holder, but a Soviet person. And for my Politburo members, it doesnt matter. Now they are all Soviet, and tomorrow they will be Soviet people.
And now for the Jews. All Jews are my friends. They were the first to rush to the liberation of the Hussite proletariat even before the Latvians. And I bet on them, but and this is very important. For me, Jews are only those who participate in the revolution. The rest are subject to liquidation as capitalists. Who is your father and his ilk? Exploiters, capitalists, enemies of the proletariat. And you want me to make an exception for him. And I cant do that. This is my universal postulate-to kill the haves, make everyone equal, eliminate the family, destroy faith in God and believe only in Marxism, and since, then believe in me Lenin, the God of the planet Earth.
Enough! I dont want to listen to you anymore. You are a real idiotsince the days of king David. I will pass on our conversation to all the Jews and they will hate you.
Well, dont be so vindictive. Given your strength and male weakness, I can, and my party, can condescend to not touch your Jewish prayer services and institutions while the Jewish ones are all subject to destruction. As for your father and your family in General, do the following. Your father-gives all his wealth to the cause of the revolution, the cause of the people, and you dress up as a red army soldier and take up the post of nurse. You will treat the wounded red army men, and I will appoint Panu as the chief of the NKVD of the city of Moscow, where I am going together with my colleagues to make this city the capital of the socialist state. When we meet you on the battlefields, I will award you the Order of the red banner of Labor, like the revolutionary Zalkind.
Ive heard of the red fury. Shes senile. You want to make the Jews the killers of Russian? Neither my father nor I, nor any other Jews, will agree to this. You have gathered renegades around you and made them murderers. However, this was easy to do.
You dont know our Countrywoman. A countrywoman is an outstanding revolutionary. She deserved the order. It proved that you can make revolutions not only with language, but also with an automatic machine. In my letters, I demanded this from the red commanders, but they did not always listen. Practice shows the chief finished the monologue and as if accidentally pressed the call button, all his colleagues sitting in the waiting room were alarmed, suddenly thinking that something unusual, terrible had happened and rushed to the chiefs office, crowding each other.
What happened, great one, wise one? Katznelson, a small, dead man, piped in a trembling voice. Why did you press the alarm button, and your visitor has not yet left? And shes an unknown person. Comrade Bronstein is to blame, all contributed to it enter your office.