I am so grieved Marian began with broken voice.
Thank you. I know the girls have told you all about it. We knew for the last month that it must come before long, though there was a deceptive improvement just before the end.
Please to sit down, Mr Milvain. Father went out not long ago, and I dont think he will be back very soon.
It was not really Mr Yule I wished to see, said Jasper, frankly. If he had been at home I should have spoken with him about what I have in mind, but if you will kindly give me a few minutes it will be much better.
Marian glanced at the expiring fire. Her curiosity as to what Milvain had to say was mingled with an anxious doubt whether it was not too late to put on fresh coals; already the room was growing very chill, and this appearance of inhospitality troubled her.
Do you wish to save it? Jasper asked, understanding her look and movement.
Im afraid it has got too low.
I think not. Life in lodgings has made me skilful at this kind of thing; let me try my hand.
He took the tongs and carefully disposed small pieces of coal upon the glow that remained. Marian stood apart with a feeling of shame and annoyance. But it is so seldom that situations in life arrange themselves with dramatic propriety; and, after all, this vulgar necessity made the beginning of the conversation easier.
That will be all right now, said Jasper at length, as little tongues of flame began to shoot here and there.
Marian said nothing, but seated herself and waited.
I came up to town yesterday, Jasper began. Of course we have had a great deal to do and think about. Miss Harrow has been very kind indeed to the girls; so have several of our old friends in Wattleborough. It was necessary to decide at once what Maud and Dora are going to do, and it is on their account that I have come to see you.
The listener kept silence, with a face of sympathetic attention.
We have made up our minds that they may as well come to London. Its a bold step; Im by no means sure that the result will justify it. But I think they are perhaps right in wishing to try it.
They will go on with literary work?
Well, its our hope that they may be able to. Of course theres no chance of their earning enough to live upon for some time. But the matter stands like this. They have a trifling sum of money, on which, at a pinch, they could live in London for perhaps a year and a half. In that time they may find their way to a sort of income; at all events, the chances are that a year and a half hence I shall be able to help them to keep body and soul together.
The money of which he spoke was the debt owed to their father by William Milvain. In consequence of Mrs Milvains pressing application, half of this sum had at length been paid and the remainder was promised in a years time, greatly to Jaspers astonishment. In addition, there would be the trifle realised by the sale of furniture, though most of this might have to go in payment of rent unless the house could be relet immediately.
They have made a good beginning, said Marian.
She spoke mechanically, for it was impossible to keep her thoughts under control. If Maud and Dora came to live in London it might bring about a most important change in her life; she could scarcely imagine the happiness of having two such friends always near. On the other hand, how would it be regarded by her father? She was at a loss amid conflicting emotions.
Its better than if they had done nothing at all, Jasper replied to her remark. And the way they knocked that trifle together promises well. They did it very quickly, and in a far more workmanlike way than I should have thought possible.
No doubt they share your own talent.
Perhaps so. Of course I know that I have talent of a kind, though I dont rate it very high. We shall have to see whether they can do anything more than mere booksellers work; they are both very young, you know. I think they may be able to write something thatll do for The English Girl, and no doubt I can hit upon a second idea that will appeal to Jolly and Monk. At all events, theyll have books within reach, and better opportunities every way than at Finden.
How do their friends in the country think of it?
Very dubiously; but then what else was to be expected? Of course, the respectable and intelligible path marked out for both of them points to a lifetime of governessing. But the girls have no relish for that; theyd rather do almost anything. We talked over all the aspects of the situation seriously enoughit is desperately serious, no doubt of that. I told them fairly all the hardships they would have to facedescribed the typical London lodgings, and so on. Still, theres an adventurous vein in them, and they decided for the risk. If it came to the worst I suppose they could still find governess work.
Let us hope better things.
Yes. But now, I should have felt far more reluctant to let them come here in this way hadnt it been that they regard you as a friend. To-morrow morning you will probably hear from one or both of them. Perhaps it would have been better if I had left them to tell you all this, but I felt I should like to see you andput it in my own way. I think youll understand this feeling, Miss Yule. I wanted, in fact, to hear from yourself that you would be a friend to the poor girls.
Oh, you already know that! I shall be so very glad to see them often.
Marians voice lent itself very naturally and sweetly to the expression of warm feeling. Emphasis was not her habit; it only needed that she should put off her ordinary reserve, utter quietly the emotional thought which so seldom might declare itself, and her tones had an exquisite womanliness.
Jasper looked full into her face.
In that case they wont miss the comfort of home so much. Of course they will have to go into very modest lodgings indeed. I have already been looking about. I should like to find rooms for them somewhere near my own place; its a decent neighbourhood, and the park is at hand, and then they wouldnt be very far from you. They thought it might be possible to make a joint establishment with me, but Im afraid thats out of the question.
The lodgings we should want in that case, everything considered, would cost more than the sum of our expenses if we live apart. Besides, theres no harm in saying that I dont think we should get along very well together. Were all of us rather quarrelsome, to tell the truth, and we try each others tempers.
Marian smiled and looked puzzled.
Shouldnt you have thought that?
I have seen no signs of quarrelsomeness.
Im not sure that the worst fault is on my side. Why should one condemn oneself against conscience? Maud is perhaps the hardest to get along with. She has a sort of arrogance, an exaggeration of something I am quite aware of in myself. You have noticed that trait in me?
ArroganceI think not. You have self-confidence.
Which goes into extremes now and then. But, putting myself aside, I feel pretty sure that the girls wont seem quarrelsome to you; they would have to be very fractious indeed before that were possible.
We shall continue to be friends, I am sure.
Jasper let his eyes wander about the room.
This is your fathers study?
Yes.
Perhaps it would have seemed odd to Mr Yule if I had come in and begun to talk to him about these purely private affairs. He knows me so very slightly. But, in calling here for the first time
We shall continue to be friends, I am sure.
Jasper let his eyes wander about the room.
This is your fathers study?
Yes.
Perhaps it would have seemed odd to Mr Yule if I had come in and begun to talk to him about these purely private affairs. He knows me so very slightly. But, in calling here for the first time
An unusual embarrassment checked him.
I will explain to father your very natural wish to speak of these things, said Marian, with tact.
She thought uneasily of her mother in the next room. To her there appeared no reason whatever why Jasper should not be introduced to Mrs Yule, yet she could not venture to propose it. Remembering her fathers last remarks about Milvain in connection with Fadges magazine, she must wait for distinct permission before offering the young man encouragement to repeat his visit. Perhaps there was complicated trouble in store for her; impossible to say how her fathers deep-rooted and rankling antipathies might affect her intercourse even with the two girls. But she was of independent years; she must be allowed the choice of her own friends. The pleasure she had in seeing Jasper under this roof, in hearing him talk with such intimate friendliness, strengthened her to resist timid thoughts.
When will your sisters arrive? she asked.
I think in a very few days. When I have fixed upon lodgings for them I must go back to Finden; then they will return with me as soon as we can get the house emptied. Its rather miserable selling things one has lived among from childhood. A friend in Wattleborough will house for us what we really cant bear to part with.
It must be very sad, Marian murmured.
You know, said the other suddenly, that its my fault the girls are left in such a hard position?
Marian looked at him with startled eyes. His tone was quite unfamiliar to her.
Mother had an annuity, he continued. It ended with her life, but if it hadnt been for me she could have saved a good deal out of it. Until the last year or two I have earned nothing, and I have spent more than was strictly necessary. Well, I didnt live like that in mere recklessness; I knew I was preparing myself for remunerative work. But it seems too bad now. Im sorry for it. I wish I had found some way of supporting myself. The end of mothers life was made far more unhappy than it need have been. I should like you to understand all this.
The listener kept her eyes on the ground.
Perhaps the girls have hinted it to you? Jasper added.
No.
Selfishnessthats one of my faults. It isnt a brutal kind of selfishness; the thought of it often enough troubles me. If I were rich, I should be a generous and good man; I know I should. So would many another poor fellow whose worst features come out under hardship. This isnt a heroic type; of course not. I am a civilised man, thats all.
Marian could say nothing.
You wonder why I am so impertinent as to talk about myself like this. I have gone through a good deal of mental pain these last few weeks, and somehow I cant help showing you something of my real thoughts. Just because you are one of the few people I regard with sincere respect. I dont know you very well, but quite well enough to respect you. My sisters think of you in the same way. I shall do many a base thing in life, just to get money and reputation; I tell you this that you maynt be surprised if anything of that kind comes to your ears. I cant afford to live as I should like to.
She looked up at him with a smile.
People who are going to live unworthily dont declare it in this way.
I oughtnt to; a few minutes ago I had no intention of saying such things. It means I am rather overstrung, I suppose; but its all true, unfortunately.
He rose, and began to run his eye along the shelves nearest to him.
Well, now I will go, Miss Yule.
Marian stood up as he approached.
Its all very well, he said, smiling, for me to encourage my sisters in the hope that they may earn a living; but suppose I cant even do it myself? Its by no means certain that I shall make ends meet this year.
You have every reason to hope, I think.
I like to hear people say that, but itll mean savage work. When we were all at Finden last year, I told the girls that it would be another twelve months before I could support myself. Now I am forced to do it. And I dont like work; my nature is lazy. I shall never write for writings sake, only to make money. All my plans and efforts will have money in viewall. I shant allow anything to come in the way of my material advancement.
I wish you every success, said Marian, without looking at him, and without a smile.
Thank you. But that sounds too much like good-bye. I trust we are to be friends, for all that?
Indeed, I hope we may be.
They shook hands, and he went towards the door. But before opening it, he asked:
Did you read that thing of mine in The Current?
Yes, I did.
It wasnt bad, I think?
It seemed to me very clever.
Cleveryes, thats the word. It had a success, too. I have as good a thing half done for the April number, but Ive felt too heavy-hearted to go on with it. The girls shall let you know when they are in town.
Marian followed him into the passage, and watched him as he opened the front door. When it had closed, she went back into the study for a few minutes before rejoining her mother.