«The house costs around 110,000 euros: it is a two-room apartment here in the province of Brescia. Sure, friends are quite generous: in short, I understand that they have a nineteenth-century mentality.»
«A mentality...» Ettore repeats with a slightly perplexed tone. «Ah, you are saying that they are old-fashioned. Old-fashioned as far as the number, of course. But I think Im not with you: do they have an eight hundred mentality or a one thousand and eight hundred mentality?»
«No. Nineteenth century, not one thousand and eight hundred. Otherwise, I would have said 1800s, dont you think? The 1800s mentality would seem to me too generous for a part-time housekeeper.»
«Yes, actually, Lavinia you are right» replies Ettore, giggling. «However, if these are the centuries in question and that is the value of the property, I believe a solution can be found. However, Ill tell you right away, the rate will certainly not be low.»
«You mean something around 5% all inclusive, Ettore?»
«No, Lavinia, we are no longer able to keep so low: I would say that we are even around 6.5% all inclusive.»
«6.5%? But its a lot!»
«We cant do better now. However, the threshold rate is around 7.5% now and we are well below.»
«Does one percent mean well below your parameters, Ettore?»
«Yes, Lavinia: for my parameters, one percent is a lot: thats 1,000 euros per 100,000 euros of capital per year.»
«Here, exactly. Anyway, assuming it might be okay, what documents should the couple need get off their friends?»
«They can always sign an agreement in which friends declare to remain friends for at least another twenty or thirty years: a private agreement like this may also be enough. Otherwise, there is always the possibility that they will give them a direct guarantee. This would bring the rate down significantly.»
«Sure, but from experience I know that friends in the end, when it comes to money, they dont turn out to be such good friends.»
«Yes, Lavinia, you know what they say here in Milan: friends, bloody friends...» says Ettore, interrupting himself and grinning.
«Even here, ninety kilometres away, they say the same» I reply, laughing.
«Then I will send you the details of the property and of the individuals» I continue, «if you draw up a draft, Ill submit everything to the two people.»
«All right, e-mail me everything. And if the deal goes through, you too can pop over the notary when the deed will be signed, so we can finally meet: its been a long time since Id love to meet your voice in person.»
«Of course: to meet my voice in person, nice expression, I like it! If they get the loan, Ill see you at the notary, sure: in fact, we have been talking on the phone for about ten years and weve never seen each other.»
«You promised, Lavinia Sbandofin: deed at the notary, Im counting on it.»
«All right Ettore FinExtreme, now Ill forward everything to you. Bye, have a good day.»
«You too. Bye.»
I hang up the phone, I click on the mail software and, once the cadastral registration is attached, I add a few words referring to the phone call just made. Finally, I choose Ettores address from the contact list and send the e-mail.
I click on the yellow icon and move on to the next folder: this is the guy with shaved hair and a bleached mohawk who, at the beginning of yesterdays brief meeting, also demanded a coffee, convinced that he was able to express the ideas better with a stimulant of some kind in his blood.
Actually his situation was not too complicated to explain: twenty-two, never worked and looking for five thousand euros to go to Thailand for a month with an elusive girl who, at first, seemed to me to live with him in Italy and, a few minutes later, she turned out to be waiting for him for several months in the country of destination. When I suggested him to look for a guarantor who could give him access to some credit, he replied almost whimpering that friends and relatives had completely declined any of his requests. Considering his appearance and his way of speaking, the news of the repeated denials did not surprise me, confirming only my initial decision, taken even before the word coffee: I press the e-mail icon and enter the address in the recipient field that I had saved in the clipboard.
We are sorry, but we have not been able to find any suitable solution to your funding request. Looking forward to meeting you on other future occasions, I wish you a good day.
Lavinia - Sbandofin.
Third folder: the man in his fifties looking for an anonymous lease for the purchase of a car.
I hear the front door make a faint noise and I look to the far right: I see Maddalena entering, opening a gap of about fifty centimetres, quite enough to let her frail body slide between the jamb and the large shiny steel plate. She closes the door behind her and nods to Serena. She walks along the corridor, disappearing behind the plants, and showing again, after about twenty seconds, under the opening of the glass wall, reaching the desk on my right.
«Hi Maddalena, are you all right?» I ask almost whispering.
«Hi Lavinia, not too bad: I have a terrible headache, I couldnt even get out of bed this morning.»
«Headaches are horrible» I reply quietly. «But did you take anything for it, like some ibuprofen or paracetamol?»
«No, medicines are poison. I didnt take anything, God forbid: a few hours and it will go» she replies sourly.
«Yes, time heals everything» I reply smiling.
«Theres nothing to laugh about, anyway.»
«Sorry, Maddalena, I was just saying.»
I reopen Chrome, I start looking for some strange leasing company. I nonchalantly catch a glimpse of Maddalena out of the corner of my eye arranging her bag in the third drawer of the shelf. Before closing the drawer, she takes out his smartphone and places it scrupulously on a stand placed on her desk, just below the monitor: it is a plastic gizmo which I have always disregarded the usefulness, thinking that my phone is quite happy to sit on the flat surface of my desk. She then takes out the usual three small bottles and lines them up to the right of the useless stand, checking that the labels are facing the working position. She closes the drawer and sits down on the chair.
I asked her one day what benefits those three little bottles had and Maddalena told me about some plant extracts that have a positive influence on emotional imbalances, worries and health in general: one for sleep disorders, one for social anxiety and the other to overcome grief, if I am not wrong. After the explanation, I lost some interest in the exact use of the products and now I am amused at this daily ritual, repeated in the same way every morning when she arrives at her office. However, I noticed the colour of the bottles are continuously changed, which led me to think that even the distress these magical extracts are used for, can change quite frequently.
I scroll through the search results with little enthusiasm while, always out of the corner of my eye, I see her busy carrying out the second preparatory action leading up to the beginning of the working day: the extension and compression of the piston of the chair, until reaching the optimal distance between the seat and the floor. I straighten my back a little, I think I have never changed the height of my chair: a long time ago I had placed it in a position that suited to my height, and that was it.
«Lavinia, cant you see that you too get a back pain sitting on these armchairs? You want to straighten up now: your bones have taken on a wrong posture and it will be difficult to get them straight back» Maddalena suddenly stammers.
«Lavinia, cant you see that you too get a back pain sitting on these armchairs? You want to straighten up now: your bones have taken on a wrong posture and it will be difficult to get them straight back» Maddalena suddenly stammers.
I turn to her and look at her beige turtleneck sweater, paired with oversized hazel pants and a pair of hard to define brown shoes.
«Actually, Maddalena, I have no back pain: I have just straightened up a little because I was hunching my back under the weight of the useless research I am doing» I reply to her, looking at her with a smile.
«So, you were just teasing me because I cant get the chair in the right position?»
«No, I was looking for someone for a lease, I wasnt really watching you» I reply calmly. «Do you need a hand to get yourself sorted?»
«I dont need help, I just want no one to keep moving the position of my chair.»
I watch her slender legs, which can be seen under the deformed trousers, not at all comparable to Serenas, dangling from a height about forty centimetres higher than mine. «Now you seem a little too high to me: dont you think you should lower it a little?»
«Yes, thats a bit too much, but I cant move if I pull the lever.» I get up and walk to Maddalena.
«By moving this upward, wont you lower it down?» I ask, pointing to the lever on the right of the seat.
«No, look» replies Maddalena, shaking the metal bar.
«Strange. Sorry: try to pull it while I push you down.»
Maddalena pulls the lever, I grab her two armrests and push her towards the ground.
«Enough, thats fine.»
«So, youre okay?»
«Yes» she replies. «Arent you cold in that sweater there, Lavinia?» she then adds looking at me up and down.
«No, its always hot in here» I retort, as I sit back at my seat.
«Maybe, Im still cold in this sweater. Besides, all that flesh well in sight, are you sure its okay?»
«Okay for what?» I ask turning to her.
«I dont know, I wouldnt go around like that all naked.»
«I have only my wrists and ten centimetres of forearms uncovered and the sweater is just slightly open around my neck: I dont feel like Im that naked.»
The next time, do it by yourself, I wont help you anymore, poor psycho-depressed bitch, I think as I start scrolling the page again to look for a suitable company to grant a lease out of the usual paths. In fact, the disturbing individual told me in secret that all his cars, including his wifes, are underwritten with the financial companies of the car manufacturers and he wants to avoid documents of new cars his spouse is not aware of, lying around the house. What he said sounded a bit confused at first, then it turned out to be quite clear: he wants to sign a finance lease for a car that will not be used by him, his wife, or by a person who his wife would like to meet. I scroll down the page again and arrive around the eightieth result. I go back to the initial search field and add, next to the term leasing, the words intermediary registration.
The first result now shows the name of a company that sounds completely unknown to me: I click and find myself on the registration form in the reserved area of a company whose name is incomprehensible and difficult to pronounce. I scroll down, I click and I am on a registration form of the restricted area of a company with an incomprehensible and unpronounceable registered name.
I scroll down, I click on FAQ, I run through the first trivial questions with the relative predictable answers and at the bottom of the page, I find out that in order to register as an intermediary or mediator, its enough to fill in the electronic form seen on the previous page, attaching the Chamber of Commerce registration and the identity document of the owner of the individual company that is about to register or that of the legal representative. With this type of access, the following FAQ grants the possibility of requesting contracts for ones own customers and their complete management through the appropriate online website, getting rid of all the paperwork, according to the last timely response to the precise final question.
I smile staring at the screen, save the address in my favourites and I think I will submit the matter to Teresa as soon as I get the opportunity to see her.
2.2 LIFE - FOUR
Its 10:35 am: Im going, otherwise I will never get back.
I have to collect all the checks for the story of the unlucky building. It was Amedeo who brought them here, those people from that hateful company: since he began to hang out with them, his career as an agent has plummeted.
The idea he had about four years ago of starting off his own business was really appreciable. He had freed himself from the real estate agency for which he had worked for some time. At the beginning he had sold a few offices quite easily on behalf of some considerable companies and then he had begun to deal with several residential properties: some sales had allowed him to evaluate with some satisfaction the path taken and to look positively at the future of his sole proprietorship.
Then, I think I remember between 2014 and 2015, Ciapper arrived, with that cursed tower: twenty floors of offices to be rented, according to the phrase that I was told so many times, at prices suitable for the prestigious property. According to Amedeo, the building was well done as for the way it looked and for the purpose it had been built, but the required standards bordered on madness and, as he said some time ago sarcastically, before isolating himself in a depressive silence, no one could understand the choice of the name, Banano, which caused potential customers some sort of bewilderment, lexical as well as geographical: it reminded of a tree not really widespread in the Brescia area.
After getting the exclusivity for the office lease mediation, Amedeo not only did not make any deal, but he did not even get interested people to visit the offices: only a strange voluntary association, some time ago, wanted to visit the building to rent part of a floor, without then follow-up their visit. As the months went by, which then turned into years, he managed, with great difficulty, to convince Ciapper people to give up the exclusive and unsuccessful leasing idea and to put the offices up for sale too.
However, the change in the contract did not change the interest of the market in the building. So, what is the moral of the story? For Amedeo, the whole affair has turned into a real fixation. On numerous occasions, I tried to get him out of his deteriorating state of mind, but I always got the same answer: «We have to place all of that fucking Banano».
The unfortunate building over time has been taken over by the companies of the group: from construction to real estate companies, also passing through other corporate misadventures which I cant even recollect in my mind. During the meeting organized by Amedeo which took place here in the office, the senior manager explained in brief for me the last, desperate, operation to be carried out: to give Banano back to the company that had built it.
The chairpersons sad recount also made me aware of how even the construction company is not having a good financial situation, considering that the banks, according to what he was saying, have lending money.
In short, the dramatic account of Mr. Gustavo Ciapper, chairperson and shareholder in each company in the group together with the other brothers who are members of the Board of Directors, ended with the request to find willing financial institutions, in any way possible, to raise the amount necessary to give the building back to the construction company: ten million euros to get from somewhere.