Who is Rabbi Johanan ben Zakai?, asked Akiva.
Oh, hes one of the most famous and respected rabbis. He is head of the yeshivas in the city of Yavne and today, the spiritual leader of all Judea. I am lucky enough to have spoken with him a few times. Hes an amazing person and a real example of a good leader. Its amazing to see such an elderly person retain such mental clarity, wisdom and strong leadership qualities.
Having heard Shimon mention Kalba Savuas estate, Akivas thoughts returned to the girl and the rabbi seemed less important. Listening to his host recount with great enthusiasm his first meeting with Rabbi Johanan ben Zakai, Akiva searched for the words with which to pose the question that had tormented him for so long. As soon as there was a short pause, unable to wait until the end of Shimons story, Akiva said, Mr. Shimon, may I ask you something? You often visit the estate of Kalba Savua. Tell me, what is the name of the young girl who lives in the house?
There are a lot of women living there. They clean the house, some help on the farm, others cook and then there are the women who do the washing. Who is it among them that you like? asked the old man with a smile.
A very sweet girl, about twenty with beautiful long hair.
Point her out to me if you get a chance and I might be able to introduce you to her. If she is a decent girl and she works for Kalba Savua, then Ill put in a word for you.
A young girl with long black hair. Do you remember, the first time we entered Kalba Savuas home, she gave us some water from the well and the last time you went there with spices, she saw you and Kalba Savua to the gate. I was returning from the pasture with the sheep.
Shimon was struggling to remember who had seen him out on Wednesday when he was leaving Kalba Savuas house. Then Shimon shuddered and said, Forget about her!
Whats the matter Shimon? Dvora his wife asked in alarm.
Forget about her. Dont even look at her, Shimon repeated insistently. Then he turned to his anxious wife and said, Do you realise who he is talking about? Hes referring to Rachel, Kalba Savuas daughter.
Shimons face was flushed red with concern. Despite all his wifes efforts to soothe him, Shimon continued to worry.
If Kalba Savua learns that you like his daughter, the old man said to Akiva, or even worse, if he knows that you want to be introduced to her, he will make sure that you will never work anywhere in Jerusalem ever again. Do you want to lose your job and go back to searching for a wage every single day?
Akiva looked down and said, I didnt mean to upset you. It simply never occurred to me that Kalba Savua could have such a young daughter.
She is a late child, which is why he loves her so much and takes such good care of her. His daughter is everything to him. Please, Akiva, put her out of your mind, Shimon said, more calmly now.
Both Akiva and Dvora tried to change the topic of conversation to something more neutral and once Shimon had calmed down, they all retired for the night.
Akiva was filled with sorrow at the news he had heard. It was a long time before he was finally able to sleep. How could a man as poor as he marry Kalba Savuas daughter? Akiva convinced himself to take Shimons advice and put her out of his mind but he couldnt help himself. Rachel was all he could think about. Now that he knew her name, it seemed to him the most beautiful name in all the world. Akiva tried to weigh everything up a second time and this time was determined to get a grip on himself and forget about the beautiful young woman once and for all to avoid wrecking his own life and threatening the friendship that existed between Mr. Shimon and Kalba Savua.
* * *
Life went on just as before. Akivas first winter at Kalba Savuas estate was particularly cold. He had to work very hard in the severe winter conditions to protect the flock. He looked after the sheep with great care and spend most of his time with them as the work helped him forget about Rachel, at least for some of the time.
Gradually, the spring sun began to warm the people of Jerusalem helping them recover from the cold of winter. The path that lead to the river on the estate dried out and Akiva began driving the flock out towards the banks more regularly. Days of beautiful sunshine were from time to time followed by rainy days but the wet weather was no shadow over Akiva, who received great pleasure from his work. Every year, in the run-up to Pesach16 a census was carried out on Kalba Savuas estate. Despite the severe cold of the winter months, Akiva had succeeded not only in preserving the head of cattle but in increasing their number.
The farm manager was very pleased with Akiva and promised to speak with Kalba Savua about increasing his wage.
On the Kalba Savua estate, as in all Judea, Pesach was celebrated with great enthusiasm despite all the difficulties of the time. After the celebrations were over, Akiva started driving the sheep down to the river every day, although as soon as the clouds filled the sky and threatened rain he would hurry to drive the herd back to the fold.
One spring day Akiva was caught in a sudden downpour. He struggled to manage the herd who, on hearing the rolls of thunder, scattered in different directions bleating with panic. Akiva was drenched to the skin but did his best to drive all the sheep back into the fold. Having finally closed the door behind them Akiva dreamed of sheltering from the rain and hurricane force winds himself, changing his clothes and warming himself through, when glancing back over towards the pasturelands, he thought he spotted an abandoned lamb. The powerful gusts of wind had blown one of the lambs towards the river. The little animal fought with all its might against being blown into the river until all its strength was spent.
Akiva ran to help the lamb when a surge of wind blew the animal off its feet and into the river. Seeing the current carry the exhausted lamb downstream, Akiva jumped into the water and with swift movements managed to reach the lamb and drag it onto the bank. The lamb was terrified and trembling with cold. Akiva made towards the summer house upwards of the riverbank in the hope of finding shelter from the continuing downpour. The shepherd quickly climbed the incline and ran to the summer house hugging the rescued lamb to his chest. Rachel was standing in the alcove. As soon as he noticed her, Akiva turned to rush out from under the roof back into the rain until the girls words reached his ears.
Where are you going? Please, come back. You need dry clothes. Here, take my cloak.
Akiva refused the cloak with a slight movement of his head but returned silently and sat on the edge of the bench turning his body towards the river to avoid looking at her. In his anxiety, he hugged the trembling lamb even more tightly.
When you saved me from the dog, I prayed for a long time that everything would be all right and that you hadnt suffered on my account. I didnt tell anyone what happened because I didnt want the story to reach my father. If he finds out, hell forbid me to feed the dogs and horses and wont let me out of the house. If I had not seen that you were ok the next day, I would have told my father and he would have instantly called the best healers. You are a brave and decent man. Now that I have seen how you saved the lamb, I am convinced of it. Not every shepherd would jump into the river to save a lamb even if it were their own. But you leapt to save an animal that is not even your own property.
Akiva said nothing. Rachel continued, Last autumn I often watched you herding the sheep by the river but it was too cold in winter and I rarely came down here. I love to watch the water and the current. I can sit here for hours lost in thought and contemplation. I think about life, not about life itself and why we are born, but about my own role in life, why I am here in the world and my true purpose. I often think about the future. What do you think about when you look at the river? Asked Rachel.
Just as she finished speaking there was another clap of thunder and the lamb bleated piteously in fear. Rachel took off her shawl and handed it to Akiva.
Wrap the lamb up in this. Itll warm him up and hell calm down.
Akiva took the shawl and wrapped it around the lambs body. The rain began to subside gradually losing its force. Without stopping to say goodbye, Akiva quickly set off for his room carrying the little rescuee with him. Rachel also made her way home.
That evening, Akiva lay on his bed pressing Rachels shawl to his body. He could barely believe that they had met and that rather than laughing at him, she had chatted away so sweetly. It was all a dream. Only the shawl that Rachel had given him to wrap around the lamb proved that it was real. Akiva breathed in the subtle scent of the shawl immersing himself once again in the feeling of the days meeting with Rachel. Akivas dreams carried him far away but he tried to calm himself and fall asleep after what had been a tiring day. In the morning, he decided to take the shawl with him and give it to Ezra or one of the other employees, so that they could return it to their mistress.
It was a beautiful day with not a single cloud in the sky. Akiva drove the sheep to pasture and then, as usual, sat on a stone by the river from where he could gaze at the water. The lamb he had saved the night before grazed close to him and from time to time he stroked the lambs silky coat. Akivas soul was in turmoil. On the one hand, he could not wait for Rachel to appear but on the other, he was afraid of seeing her again as he understood that if he did see her again and hear her gentle voice, he would fall in love with her even more deeply and would no longer be capable of living without her. The summerhouse was empty. Eventually the sun started to set on the horizon and it was time to return to the estate. Akiva got up from his stone holding his rod in his right hand and the shawl in the other, ready to drive the sheep back for the night.
Hello. I see you have my shawl. Ill come down for it.
Akiva was gripped by a sudden fear. He didnt know how to behave or what to do with himself. Rachel picked her way carefully down towards the river and Akiva held out her shawl. Their eyes met for a brief moment. She is more beautiful than ever thought Akiva but not a split second passed before he dragged his eyes away from her.
Having taken the shawl, Rachel said, Im pleased to see that you are well after what happened yesterday. Wheres the lamb you rescued?
Akiva pointed to the lamb which he had kept close to his side the entire day.
Its so sweet. If father would allow it, I would take it home to my room. I would feed it wash it and even let it sleep with me. Its coat is so soft and its eyes so beautiful and sad, dont you think?
Akiva didnt utter a word, whether because of what Shimon had said, or whether because he was afraid of saying something stupid and disappointing Rachel, he couldnt tell.
Are you always so quiet? Rachel asked, slightly offended. I like to talk, particularly on a day as beautiful as today. What kind of weather do you like best? Whats your favourite season of the year? The girl showered him with questions but Akiva did not reply.
Can you at least hear me?
Akiva nodded his head in confirmation.
Oh good, I was beginning to worry, what a relief, I thought you might be deaf. Can you talk?
Akiva nodded his head again preventing his eyes from making contact with the gaze of his beautiful conversant.
I know you can talk Rachel continued, because Ive heard you speaking with Ezra.
Akiva still said nothing.
So why dont you say anything? Has Ezra forbidden you to talk to me, or perhaps on seeing me you lose the gift of speech?
Akiva nodded again nervously.
I dont understand, Rachel smiled, do you always answer a question with yes?
Akiva shook his head.
The first refusal Rachel laughed. She wasnt going to give up. Do you have a name?
Akiva was silent.
Youve turned into deaf and dumb again? Rachel found Akivas behaviour amusing and at the same time, just a little insulting. You dont want to tell me your name, you wont talk to me you dont answer any of my questions and you wont even look at me. What has Ezra said, that if you look at me youll turn to stone? Rachel joked.
Akiva felt exactly as if he had turned to stone and had turned both deaf and blind in an instant.
I have to go now, father will be getting worried. Rachel thought for a moment and then said, Write you name in the sand.
From somewhere, Akiva found the strength to speak and confessed that he didnt know how to read or write and then added:
My name is Akiva.
Rachel laughed cheerfully, Youre a grown man and you dont know how to write your own name?
With that Rachel turned and left. Akiva dropped his head in sorrow. Why did I tell her that I cant read or write? Akiva thought. Shell never talk to me ever again. Shes a well-educated young woman and is seeing an ignoramus like me for the very first time. I should have said nothing and then at least I could have seen her from time to time, heard her lovely voice; now now shell keep me at a distance.
Chapter 3 The hole in the rock
For love is strong as death. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it.
(Shir a-Shirim (Song of Songs), 8:67)
Over the days that followed, Akiva did not see Rachel anywhere. After resting on the Shabbat, he returned to his duties as usual. He drove the sheep out of the fold sending them in the direction of the river. Once he had found his spot and was sitting on the bank of the river, he became deeply absorbed in thoughts of Rachel.
The more Akiva ran the memory of their last meeting in his mind, the more he relinquished the hope of ever seeing her again. Yet that day, quite unexpectedly, Rachel appeared in the meadow. Plucking up her courage, she said, Peace to you, Akiva. I wanted to apologise for my behaviour the last time we met. I havent ever met anyone before who couldnt read or write.
Akiva smiled sadly, People often laugh at me when they find out that I am illiterate. At first I found it hurtful, but I have got used to it now.
I promise I wont ever laugh at you again, Rachel said.
Thank you. Akiva was genuinely grateful for her words.
Akiva thought Rachel looked a little tired and so he suggested she sit down on a stone next to his. Rachel accepted his offer with pleasure and having spread her shawl out on the stone she sat down beside him.
Are you comfortable there? Akiva asked.
Yes, thank you, Rachel answered readily. You told me your name the last time we met but I didnt tell you mine. It was rude of me. My name is Rachel. I am Kalba Savuas daughter.