Akiva, whats the matter? Have you forgotten how to talk again? Rachel chirped, as cheerfully as a bird.
No, I was just lost in my thoughts. I have been watching the water flowing in the river and contemplating life. Ive been here since early this morning. Akivas power of speech finally returned.
I can watch the water for hours and a fire. Its calming, isnt it? Rachel said, picking up the thread of the conversation.
Last time I saw you, you rushed off to help prepare for the Shabbat. How did it all go? Said Akiva, trying to control his nervousness.
The Shabbat went really well. Everyone was very jovial! We had lots of guests, family and friends, as we always do. They only left yesterday evening, after the Shabbat. I helped the women clear up until midnight and then, after reading prayers in my room before bedtime, I fell asleep and slept really well. Rachel whirled about, gracefully raising her arms, her laughter ringing out like a bell.
Akiva could not tear his eyes away from her.
Rachel, you are still young. You must take care of yourself.
Rachel stopped spinning, her breathing quick and deep. Akiva even thought he could feel her breath.
When there are a lot of visitors, you do not think about yourself. You just think about finishing everything as quickly as possible and going to bed. Yesterday, I was so tired that today I slept in until midday. I remembered to read the prayers though and after breakfast, I decided to come out for a walk, Rachel replied smiling good-naturedly.
What prayers do you read in the morning and before you go to sleep?
Before going to sleep, I thank the merciful Creator for the day, for the fact that I have lived through it, and in the morning, for the fact that I have woken up, and then I read the morning blessings.
Rachels response was a revelation for Akiva.
Everyone wakes up in the morning. Do you really need to give thanks for that?
Yes Akiva, we must express gratitude and thanks to the Creator for everything He gives us. We are used to waking up in the morning, to the sun rising and setting, the day following night, to the trees bearing fruit, but we must understand, that it is all a miracle. Everything that happens in our world the world itself exists only by the grace of the Creator.
What else is in the prayers? Everything Rachel said was so new and curious to Akiva that she never ceased to surprise him.
If you knew how to read, I would bring you a prayer book and other religious texts for you to study.
Its too late for me to learn anything now and start studying religious books. Akiva was quiet for a moment and then with a sudden bitter smile, he said, Rachel, tell me, for what? What do I have to thank the Creator for, that at thirty years of age I still cant read or write?
Rachel was embarrassed and did not reply.
You have everything going for you. You are young, beautiful, rich and clever. You have a lot to thank the creator for, but I who have nothing, not even a home, tell me, what would you have me thank the creator for? Akiva had become increasingly angry.
There is so much in this world that you can be thankful for. You have to learn to see the good in things. You can be grateful that you see this gorgeous sun, that you hear the sound of the river and the rustle of the leaves on the trees, that you can walk, for lots of things, that you have work, that you have a roof over your head, that you are caring, attentive and wise. See how much you have to be grateful for, Rachel said tenderly, as if she were speaking to a child.
You call me wise, Akiva laughed, but you barely know me.
You dont have to have known a person for many years to understand whether they are wise or not. There are people who read a lot, who can talk on a variety of topics with a clever expression on their face, but even with the best will in the world, you could never call them wise. And then there are those who may even be illiterate, but you can spot their wisdom a long way off. Wisdom is a gift from the Creator. You either have it or you dont. Akiva if you could study, you would make a good rabbi.
Rachel, soon I will be forty. School is for children who have been learning since they were little, Akiva said but he had softened his tone no longer showing his anger. Rachel stuck to her own point of view.
It is never too late to learn.
The young girl threw a glance at the sun, which was already setting beyond the river. It was time for her to go.
Will you come again tomorrow? Akiva asked, his voice carrying simultaneously notes of hope and despair.
I dont know yet. Akiva, try and turn over a new leaf in your life, and think about what I said about learning. I am certain that much in your life still lies ahead of you. Try and pray before you go to sleep, advised Rachel before hurrying away.
But I dont know any prayers! Akiva cried after her.
Just speak words of gratitude and say whats in your heart. Rachels sonorous, girlish voice reached him now from a distance.
After Rachel had left, Akiva sat by the river for a long time thinking over what she had said. He thought about his conversation with Rachel until he lay down to sleep. Having thanked the creator for the day, for the fact that he had a job and a roof over his head, Akiva fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
In the morning Akiva drove the herd down to the river again dreaming only of one thing: to see Rachel again. Over and over, he caught himself thinking that he could not live without seeing her again. Even the fear of losing his job no longer affected him.
Hearing someones footsteps from afar, Akiva turned to look and spotted the long-awaited silhouette. The young girl approached him and as she had done on the previous occasion, she said quietly:
Peace to you Akiva.
Peace to you Rachel! The shepherd answered her with bated breath.
Did you say a prayer last night before going to sleep? Rachel asked.
Yes, I did, but in the morning I forgot, said Akiva and as if apologising held open his hands.
Rachel was pleased.
Thats a good start. Learn to thank the merciful Creator for everything.
Why do you always repeat the word merciful? Asked Akiva.
Because the Creator is merciful to all his creations.
Rachel, if He really is merciful, then why did He allow the Romans to destroy the Second Temple? Akiva said, directing the complex question at the girl he loved.
The Rabbis believe that the Romans are simply an instrument in His hands. Its not the Romans who destroyed the Temple. We did that. Our actions brought about the destruction of the Temple. The Romans simply carried out the Creators judgement. The First Temple, the Temple of King Solomon, said Rachel continuing her story was demolished in punishment of three sins: bloodshed, idolatry and the retreat of the Jews from the laws given to them by God19. Now that there is neither idolatry nor bloodshed, the wisemen have come to the conclusion, that there were spiritual reasons for the destruction of the Temple. They tend to think that the Second Temple was destroyed due to unfounded hatred. The All-merciful probably doesnt like how we treat one another. We have forgotten how to forgive.
How was that evident? Akiva asked his voluntary teacher.
Rachel answered patiently. It was everywhere and in everything. People overfilled the cup of His unlimited patience. Shortly before the Temple was destroyed, something happened. A wealthy man from Jerusalem held a feast and invited lots of guests including my father who was unable to attend because he was away. The man who arranged the feast had a close friend called Kamtsa and a sworn enemy, Bar Kamtsa (The story of Kamtsa and Bar Kamtsa is cited in the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Gittin). The man sent his servant to invite his friend Kamtsa to the feast but the messenger got the address wrong and conveyed the invitation to Bar Kamtsa. Bar Kamtsa couldnt understand what was happening and asked the messenger again whether the invitation was really meant for him, to which the messenger confirmed that it was.
How was that evident? Akiva asked his voluntary teacher.
Rachel answered patiently. It was everywhere and in everything. People overfilled the cup of His unlimited patience. Shortly before the Temple was destroyed, something happened. A wealthy man from Jerusalem held a feast and invited lots of guests including my father who was unable to attend because he was away. The man who arranged the feast had a close friend called Kamtsa and a sworn enemy, Bar Kamtsa (The story of Kamtsa and Bar Kamtsa is cited in the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Gittin). The man sent his servant to invite his friend Kamtsa to the feast but the messenger got the address wrong and conveyed the invitation to Bar Kamtsa. Bar Kamtsa couldnt understand what was happening and asked the messenger again whether the invitation was really meant for him, to which the messenger confirmed that it was.
Deciding that his enemy must be offering a reconciliation, Bar Kamtsa suspected nothing, put on expensive clothes and went to the feast at the house of his enemy. He took his place amongst the guests but when the host saw him there, he shouted: What are you doing here? How dare you come into my house uninvited?
Bar Kamtsa realised that the messenger must have made a mistake and said, I will pay you for my portion of food, only please, do not humiliate me in front of all the other guests. Many respected people of Jerusalem are among them. How will I appear in their eyes?
The host refused to accept his request so Bar Kamtsa offered to pay for half the entire cost of the feast but the host still wouldnt agree.
I will pay for everything! Bar Kamtsa cried, Only please dont throw me out in front of all these people!
But the host refused even then and insisted that the unwanted guest leave his home. Enraged, Bar Kamtsa was forced to leave in disgrace.
And what about the guests: they just sat there saying nothing? asked Akiva.
Yes, there were many respected people and wisemen there but they chose not to get involved in the conflict. So then Bar Kamtsa decided to take revenge on the host and his guests who had refused to stand up for him. He went to see the Emperor and told him that the Jews were plotting a revolt against the Roman Empire. To prove it, he asked the ruler to send a calf to the Temple for sacrifice. On the way, Bar Kamtsa gave the calf a small injury, knowing that under the laws of the Torah, animals with that kind of blemish are unsuitable for sacrifice.
The rabbis argued for a long time over whether the calf could be used as a sacrifice or not. Many of them understood the significance of denying the Romans permission to make sacrifice and nonetheless, they turned the Roman Emperor down. The emperor was furious and sent his army into Judea. The Roman troops invaded Jerusalem, burned the Temple to the ground and sacked the city.
Its hard to say who was right and who was wrong, thought Akiva. The wealthy man who held a feast and treated his guest badly, or the wisemen, who witnessed the argument but said nothing, or Bar Kamtsa, who brought anger to his entire people on account of a personal insult.
Yes, its a difficult one. But there is also an indirect cause for what happened. It clearly reflects the attitude people had towards one another that reigned in Jerusalem at the time. Now we are left with no Temple. The Romans have taken many of Jerusalems inhabitants prisoner. My father is very worried about the future of our city and our people. He argues that without a strong leader, the Jews will never be taken seriously and the Romans will enslave us said Rachel.
Surely there isnt such a great lack of wise rabbis that none among them could stand out as a leader? said Akiva doubtfully.
Its hard to unify the people. A large proportion of the rabbis represent leaders to a small handful of students but are vindicated in the eyes of others and so theres no single, powerful force. You know Akiva, theres something I have been thinking about a lot ever since I met you. I dont know why but I have this feeling inside, that if you were literate, you could be a strong leader. You could unify everyone! Rachel admitted.
Rachel, what on earth are you saying? If those who are so highly respected cannot unite the people, what could I possibly do, a simple shepherd? Rachels words had come like a bolt from the blue.
Most of them are more concerned with themselves than with the needs of the community. Akiva, I see how you care for the sheep. You have a good heart and I think you could turn out to be a great leader, capable of uniting a lot of people around you. Why dont you want to learn to read and write and study the Torah? said Rachel trying to persuade him.
You forget, I am thirty-five years old. Its too late for me to start studying at my age Akiva said disagreeing with her.
But it isnt too late, said Rachel, if you studied hard and conscientiously then the words of the Torah would speak to your heart.
Rachel, I dont have the money to give up work and study. Thank you for your warm words. No-one has ever spoken of me so highly said Akiva, not without some sadness.
I have to go now Akiva, but mark my words, its never too late to start learning. The wisemen say that we must keep learning forever, right up until old age.
Long after they had parted Akiva continued to mull over Rachels words and everything she had said about him.
Every day, Rachel came to the river and they she and Akiva talked for hours becoming close friends. Akiva had never been so happy as he was spending time with Rachel, talking to the sweetest, most wonderful girl in the world.
Akiva intended to spend the forthcoming Shabbat in the home of the old man Shimon and his wife.
In Shimons house the jangling sound of crockery could be heard as Shimons wife Dvora cleared the table after the Shabbat meal. Concerned by his guests silence, Shimon asked, Why are you so quiet today Akiva, has something happened?
Akiva said nothing.
My eyes do not deceive me. Tell me what has happened.
All right, I will tell you, only please listen to me, and dont be angry. Recently, Rachel and I have become very close. We see each other almost every day and we talk for ages. What do you think? Is there even a grain of hope that I could be the husband of Rachel, daughter of Kalba Savua?
You didnt take my advice after all. You didnt keep your distance said Shimon sadly. Akiva, as your elder, please, forget about her before it is too late. Its for the best, for you and for her. Find another woman who is worthy of you and have a family. Why torment yourself and the young girl? You may be mistaken and have misinterpreted your conversations as an expression of some special attention on her part.
Mr. Shimon, I am certain that there is something more between us than simple conversation. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I cant forget about her, not for one moment. I look for her everywhere and in every sound I strain to hear her voice.
The moment Kalba Savua learns of your affections, he will drive you off the estate and you will again wander round Judea in search of a wage said Shimon, admonishing his ward.
So be it. I am not afraid of anything any more. I want to be with her. Let him drive me away. I cant live without her said Akiva decisively.
Its useless trying to talk about it thought Shimon giving a heavy sigh.
Mr. Shimon, Do you think I dont know that she is an impossible dream for someone like me and that we can never be together? Akiva continued.