I wish I could take away the masks Michael had cut off the faces of my legionnaires, Alaïs closed her eyelids. She was reminded of the heartbreaking screams. The armies that had followed her into battle were doomed. They had been tortured, they had been destroyed. They were worse than dead.
Alais lifted one golden mask and scrutinized the flawless features.
I was the most beautiful angel in heaven, and I still am. Who would have thought my entourage would be monsters!
The abandoned mask flew into the sand, managing to sing something. These masks were too talkative. Her head ached with their suggestions and prophecies.
How was Menes? Was he happy that he got his kingdom with the help of demons? Of this the masks did not know. It was useless to even ask them.
They could have paid Menes a visit on their own, but it wasnt time yet. He had only recently won. He would have to settle into his role as ruler before an angel from the deserts would appear to him. There is no hurry. Alais had grown accustomed to the fact that time flowed incredibly slowly.
A slight envy of Menes tormented her. Hed achieved victory all too quickly. She, on the other hand, had to wait and save her strength.
Alaïs sat on the white horse that had come from the darkness with the rays of dawn. It was her former friend and comrade-in-arms! She recognized him by his eyes and his posture. Strange that he had become a horse. But the horse, as it turned out, could turn into a burnt creature with black sagging wings. Hed just been with mortals and noticed that it was in fashion for their chiefs to have horses, so he became a horse for his mistress. Mistress, not lord! It still sounded unfamiliar. Alais clenched her incredibly strong hands into fists and unclenched them again. The strength was not gone, but her appearance had changed slightly. She was even more beautiful than she had been. But it was the sex It felt like something was missing. Masculinity, darkness Her stronger part seemed to be slumbering somewhere, turned into animated darkness. And to live without it was somehow a misery. Alais was ready to run through the desert all day to find what was missing, but how to find something that you only assume exists and it might not really exist? But she could feel it. It was there. The golden desert breathed darkness. A part of her, drained entirely of darkness, rested here somewhere. It must be found. Only by uniting with her can the war in heaven be fought again.
The shield behind her back retained, like a picture, the image of the head of an angel who died in battle. Her standard bearer became the shield that protected her to this day. Orvelyn! His reflection in the shield seemed to see her. He had serpentine curls, a cold, beautiful face, and golden spikes on his wings and claws. It was a pity he was only a shield now. His company had always pleased her.
The desert had become a living creature, like a monster. And that monster now served her. Alais looked around the expanse of her new kingdom in the sands. She could lay here for centuries, accumulate strength, and rush off to war with the heavens again. But Remy had said it was time to conquer the human realm, so she decided to give it a try.
Mirror of the Universe
The first mirror that Dennitsa looked into after he fell and saw his transformed maiden face there was only a puddle on the sand. The puddle solidified into mica and then turned into amalgamated glass. A ligature of golden symbols stretched along the edges of the glass. The gems in the ornament flashed like watching eyes. Eyes they were. There was a special power and a special mystery in the mirror.
There is not even ash left on you, Remy murmured beside him. Truly, God loves you, because even when you have fallen, you are as beautiful as you were. Or is he powerless to harm you? Then you are truly our commander, for there is no one stronger than you.
What is about the darkness? Alais sensed something stronger in the wilderness, but separated from herself. It is my shadow!
It is yours! Then its yours to lead, Remy hovered around her, bloody meat blotches and blackened gold ornaments on his ash-burned elbows. It was as if he had pulled them out of the earth, where they had been forged by fiery dwarves. Alais didnt recognize them at first as soldiers in her army. Too stunted, but then she recognized their voices coming from the depths of the earth. How had they shrunk so much?
Only you can control your own shadow, Remy insisted, though he, too, had sensed the darkening power thickening over the desert like a black cloud.
Theres something wrong here!
They couldnt see the source of the power yet, but it was felt as something shattering, ready to sweep away the world they were in with a single blow. Her desire to do this, too, could be felt. So why wasnt the job done yet? What is holding back the darkness?
It is your unwillingness to reunite with it!
Is that what you said? Alais turned around, but Remy was no longer there.
It is your unwillingness to share its burns and its pain, the voice murmured again over her ear, dark as night. It is your fear of getting burned by what people call passion and what you dont know at all. It is your fear of going back to heaven and finding the all-consuming fire there again. Your reluctance to lose your independence, but together we would be better off. After all, we are still one.
So says the genie of the lamp in peoples tales. Thats how her spirits work when they see mortal travelers. And in the lamp they may well come to live. One such lamp, made of gold by an underground dwarf, Alais took for her. Many spirits had taken up residence in it, gushing out in a silvery mist. They were twelve or thirteen. All of them served her faithfully. Even while in the lamp, they could easily observe events around the world and could find out about everything to report to her. But from where and more importantly from whom the dark voice emanates, even they did not know.
We are made one, like sun and shadow. Like fire and the ash it creates. Like beauty and ugliness united in your army. Our army! We must be together again.
The voice began to drive her mad. It must be Gods attacks. He wants her back, leaving her burnt servants on the ground.
Dont compare me to them and to him. To overthrow him would make me a better man. We simply lacked strength and unity. Only together are we strong.
The banner of hell is fire. Alais sensed those who had descended into hell, the abyss that opened beneath the earth. A voice spoke from there. And it didnt belong to any of her warriors. It was as if it spoke to her from her own mind. It was the darkest part of her. Angels dont have a shadow like humans, but after the fall, it seemed to appear.
We walked through the fire to be together, the voice continued to exhort. God cannot divide us.
But He did!
Why did she say that? The darkness let out a shriek of rage that shook the desert.
You are my reflection, and I am yours, and we will be together again.
Angels dont have reflections, but she did. First in a puddle spit out by a water creature that crawled into the desert, then in a mirror.
Youre not an angel anymore, and neither are anyone else with you, the grim voice continued to whisper.
Alais glanced over her shoulder at her wings. Yes, they had turned black. It probably seems that way because of the darkness. They were golden in the daytime. But theyre supposed to be white for angels. Gold is the color of vice brought to earth by fallen angels. Gold is the solidified substance of the sun. A dead sun! And it is supposed to be alive. Gold as a metal is contrary to its original divine nature, which may be why people so often kill each other over it. Just as often they killed each other because of Alais herself, who became the source of birth, both light and gold. The desert was filled with the blood of travelers and their corpses, which were devoured by her ever-hungry servants. They ate the flesh, drank the blood, but their wounds hardly ever healed. What could be done for them?
Abandon them! It was the voice of the shadow that spoke again. And go back to heaven. Apologize! God will immediately forgive you, and you will begin to prepare his angels for battle again. Many will follow you again. You are so good. If you fall again, God will forgive you again. He has always adored you, my bright shadow. Seduce him at last and destroy him. And then summon me.
She recognized the voice of her own mind, though she thought differently now. The fall had changed her.
I cant leave them all behind, she nodded at the monsters crawling in the sand. All those who followed me are my responsibility now.
They are defeated and crippled, and you are wasting your time with them.
I love them! She knew how wild that sounded right now. She did not love them when their beauty delighted the heavens, even when they followed her into battle, they were only an army. Every warlord needs an army. It is a tribute to custom. Feelings were restrained. But now love broke through. Because of her they were brought down, because of her they were tortured, because of her they were mutilated and burned, and yet they were still willing to serve her.
Would they love you if you were as ugly as they are now? Youre lucky your ugliness lives apart from you.
What do you mean? Alais asked, but secretly she was already aware of it and shuddered inwardly. The memory of something burning and mutilated being separated from her by the fall pierced her brain with pain. It had happened! And it had not been a dream! And even if it had been, her dreams had never lied to her. In heaven in general, it was difficult to separate dream from reality. There, eternity passed like a dream. Grim reality began on earth. And dreams of magic invaded it with golden spells.
We must show mortals what magic is!
Why? A voice grows wary.
Their lives are empty without it.
Mortals will not appreciate you, nor understand you.
But Ill take my chances anyway.
And you will run into their knives.
I dont think so, Im still immortal. They are.
They will put you in a cage for your skill.
They are weak, I am strong. Only I have the power to rule them.
Youd better stay here with me.
I cant even see you.
But I can see you, and I like your beauty, detached from me, even more than when it shone on my own face. It is only when we lose something that we know how valuable it is. Such is Gods curse.
He chose to teach us a lesson, but instead he gave us freedom. The world is our kingdom. We no longer share it with any god. Here we can become gods ourselves, we and our army.
Youve already begun to talk about us as one. I like that.
Youre a good persuader. I am beginning to trust you, or my dream. It doesnt matter! She always trusted herself more. But the darkness was indeed half of herself.
It condensed beside her. Its outlines were forming into claw-like shapes. First it touched her golden curls, then it tried to penetrate her, but it failed.
People call people like you genies, Alais shared. Her ears were clearly picking up what mortals whisper behind the deserts. Djinns are my warriors who have no bodies left-just a blob of darkness instead of a shell.
There were also djinns of fire, but it was the pillar of darkness that hovered before her.
Which of my warriors were you before you died? What was your name?
I have no name, the darkness clung to her. I am you! We have the same name! Dennitsa.
Dennitsa means dawn! And you are all dark! How can you be called Dennitsa?
Do you want to give me a new name like you gave yourself? The darknesss voice became soulful.
Alais closed her eyelids, feeling a strange pleasure in the intimacy of darkness. The darkness enveloped her entire body, caressed her wings, sought to penetrate her skin.
After the battle, Michael shouted insults-the devil, Satan. This meant an opposing angel, an apostate. These were probably her new names.
How absurd it all came out! Michael loved her to pieces, but the first argument over power ended in tragedy. The admirer had become the enemy. Alais remembered the way Mikhails blond hair had fluttered in the firestorm. She longed to cut off his head with her sword, to grasp it by his beautiful hair and hold it in her hands like a trophy. His head would remain alive even after it was cut off. It can be spoken to, it can be rebuked.
This naive angel wants her to go back to heaven. And she wants his head.
The darkness caressed her like a lover.
I am you, he repeated.
Then your name is the devil, Alais recalled Michael calling her.
The gloom fell silent for a moment.
What can I do to make you believe that you and I are one? After a pause, he asked softly.
Destroy the heavens!
I am not strong enough yet.
Then dont bother! Well speak when you are strong enough.
I could gather strength. Theres a lot of potential in this land. It needs people. Lure more people into the wilderness. Ill take their lives and make me stronger.
If you have anything in common with me, you must deal with everything on your own, as I do after a defeat.
Surviving was difficult. Alais was torn by a longing for the celestial sphere. The desert full of gold in front of her, though it looked fabulous, couldnt take away the nostalgia. The sandy plain seemed like the back of a huge giant. It seemed as if it was about to rise from the sands. The darkness seemed like a giant, too. He hovered around Alais, fawning over her, and then suddenly disappeared. With him gone, Alais sighed more freely.
Seven
Alais woke up as if jolted. They were leaning over her. There were her former standard bearers. Mastem, Noreus, Doriel, Setius, Novelin, Ramiel, and Amadeo. Their faces and bodies were as beautiful as ever. It was idyllic, like heaven! It was one exception. The angels had become marbleized.
I remember when you were petrified, Alais rose from the dune on which she had lain and grinned vindictively. Its good to know that all traitors have been given a fair trial. Are you comfortable being marbled? Dont you feel a certain stiffness of movement?
Beautiful curly heads drooped shamefully. Even the curls snaking down their shoulders turned to marble. Pale marble faces phosphoresced beneath the starry desert skies. The slender figures of the angels looked bulky because of the heavy marble wings. Was it difficult to fly with such wings? The celestial company did not seem to have any discomfort. The marble bodies were hovering over the sand, not treading on it.
All are in their entirety! Alais counted. It was like being in heaven! Only one angel was missing. Ciel has shown more loyalty than you, and has not become marbleized.
Weve been thinking of bringing him back, Cetius answered for all. He was the boldest of the Seven Angels and always took the initiative. She was sure hes the one whos put everyone up to this treachery. Our strength would seem to be growing weaker without Ciel.
Serves you right! Alais glared vindictively at Amadeo. The seventh angel was as if he were superfluous in the company. Would his cunning and poise, in time, compensate for the loss of the most powerful of standard bearers?
We carried your standards and assembled the disparate parts of the legion into coherent units, Setius began to pity them. We were your standard-bearers and commanders of your armies. All your orders we faithfully obeyed. You know all our secret talents. Can you do without us from now on? Take us back.