Scene 4
The Rubicon Roadside Inn & Diner.
Makar. What was it like before?
Stvolov. What?
Makar. Thats just the point! And now what?
Stvolov. What?
Makar. Gee, thats exactly what Im talking about!
Stvolov. Fill it up.
Makar. And as for mobile service, weve never had it here. Dense forests!
Polina. Thats a hell of a storm outside.
Makar. The road is washed out now. You wont be able to get out of here tomorrow, Stvolov.
Stvolov. Im virtually born under a lucky star. No wonder I didnt like the ugly face of that driver.
Makar. You know what they say here? Whack thy neighbor, punch him hard, jump on his chest. Then youll have the edge over the rest.
Nadya appears from the kitchen and stands behind the bar counter.
Nadya. Where do you mean here? Look at him. Wasted again.
Makar. By no means
Nadya.[To Stvolov.] Your room is on the second floor. Polina will escort you. Welcome to the Rubicon Hotel. [Ringing the bell.]
Polina. We serve breakfast at eight. The bar is open round the clock.
Stvolov. No flying from fate. Do you have a phone here?
Nadya. Its at the entrance.
Stvolov rises from the table and makes his way towards the phone.
Stvolov. Its not working.
Nadya. Theyve been palming us off with promises to get us a phone line for three years.
Stvolov. The Rubicon.
Makar. Rumor is they had to send to the bottom a whole ton of Viagra to get Titanic up.
Stvolov. Mistress, two more.
Makar. And a bite to eat!
Stvolov. And a bite to eat.
Nadya produces a decanter of vodka. Polina brings it to the table.
Makar. There was this philosopher who stopped by here.
Stvolov. A philosopher?
Makar. Well, something of the sort. He shared an interesting observation with me, in secret. An idea, lets say.
Stvolov. An idea?
Makar. The law of life!
Stvolov. So?
Makar. What should a man say to his woman in order to maintain harmony in their relationship? [Casting a sidelong look at Nadya.]
Stvolov. I dont know.
Makar. Its a simple phrase, just learn it by heart. It goes like this: «I know what it feels like, my darling.»
Stvolov. Hm
Makar. And what should a woman say to her man? On any occasion.
Stvolov.???
Makar. «Yes, master!»
Polina.[Bursting into laughter.] Oh, Im sorry.
Makar. Watch and learn, Polina.
Nadya. Dinner will be ready soon. [She goes to the kitchen.]
Makar. Ive had my fill with them!
Polina. Here, have a bite, Makar Sergeevich. [She serves them some cold snacks, then goes upstairs.]
Makar. What a bit of good!
Polina. Yes, master. [She leaves.]
Stvolov. Thats a hot little number.
Makar. She fell for me.
Stvolov. Thats bullshit. Can you get a night with her?
Makar. Go and ask her yourself.
Stvolov goes upstairs.
Scene 5
The Rubicon Roadside Inn & Diner.
Nadya. Thats some turnout today
Makar. And yet our Rubicons said to be an armpit. Just look at how many people stay here!
Nadya. The hotel is full.
Makar. All the three rooms?
Pause.
Nadya. This drinking companion of yours, Stvolov. Demanding a phone, fancy that! Whats the use of it, one may ask?
Makar. The whole thing is just money-losing.
Nadya. I only want to put Katya on her feet. As soon as she graduates, Ill never set foot in this kennel again. Never!
There is a loud sound of a bunch of dishes hitting the floor and breaking upstairs.
Nadya. Whats going on there? This nasty girl dropped the tray again. Ill teach her! [Going upstairs and disappearing.]
Makar approaches the cash register, opens the cash till, grabs several banknotes, then closes the till, and steps away from the bar counter. Polina appears in the stairway. She goes downstairs carrying the tray full of broken glass.
Polina. A client smashed a jug to pieces, its a hoot! The Gorgons gonna make him dip into his pocket.
Pause.
Makar. Is it hard for you here?
Polina. Im a robust girl.
Makar. Life goes on. Even if we dont really live.
Polina. Anyway, its better than walking the track.
Makar. Walking the track?
Polina. Ive heard a lot of stuff from my sister.
Makar. But they have a whole new level of earnings.
Polina. Tell these tales to someone else, Makar Sergeevich. I know myself.
Makar glances back and then pulls Polina towards him. Polina breaks loose and, without taking a swing, slaps Makar across his face.
Makar. Oh, please, dolly girl. Its gonna end up like this anyway, why playing Madame Butterfly?
Polina. Next time Ill hit you on the head with this tray. Itll cost you four grand according to our price list.
Makar. Come on, I was just kidding.
Polina. Just kidding. This aint my first rodeo.
Pause.
Makar. Do you want to leave this place for good? Come to Moscow with me.
Polina. Moscow?
Makar. I mean it. Say yes.
Polina. For real?
Makar.[Looking over his shoulder at the kitchen door.] Ill get my share of the hotel stock from Sea Lion and then we can get going!
Polina. Your share? From Sea Lion?
Makar. Easy peasy.
Polina. Ha!
Makar. Ive had my fill with him! Just dont tell anyone.
Polina. My lips are sealed. [She goes to the kitchen.]
Scene 6
The Rubicon Roadside Inn & Diner.
Sea Lions study.
Sea Lion. To Moscow? For good?
Agap. For good.
Sea Lion. A share of the hotel stock?
Agap. Yep.
Sea Lion. Agap! Id really like to clean your clock
Agap. Yep.
Sea Lion. Agap! Id really like to clean your clock
Agap. Why?
Sea Lion. Youre saying these unpleasantries with too much relish.
Agap. Im just
Sea Lion. What else did they talk about?
Agap. I told you all Ive got.
Sea Lion. Thats too bad!
Agap. It was too noisy in the kitchen.
Sea Lion. And what about the key-hole? Have you forgotten what I taught you?
Agap. Makar was way too far from the door.
Sea Lion. Watch it, Agap. If I find out that youre in cahoots with him, Ill skin you alive.
Agap. Boss!
Sea Lion. You can go now.
Agap leaves
Sea Lion. What are you up to, Makar?
Nadya enters carrying a tray with a glass of red berry juice.
Nadya. Cranberry, just like you like it, my sweet sailor.
Sea Lion.[Drinking the juice]. Thank you.
Nadya. We have to send money to Katya.
Sea Lion. Money?
Nadya. To pay for the second semester.
Sea Lion. Does anyone really need this education?
Nadya. We do.
Sea Lion. Paying to the help while having our own worker!
Nadya. Katya wont be scrubbing floors for the rest of her life, will she? Enoughs enough.
Sea Lion. Enough?
Nadya. Eighty three thousand for the second semester.
Sea Lion opens a drawer of the desk, counts out the money, and hands it over to Nadya.
Sea Lion. Call Makar.
Nadya leaves
Sea Lion. There are many honest people but there are fewer and fewer decent ones.
Makar enters the study.
Makar. Nadya is angry at me again.
Sea Lion. No, Makar. Its me whos angry at you. Nadya just doesnt want you.
Makar. Just spare me your lectures, Im out of sorts today!
Sea Lion. Fine.
Pause.
Makar. Do you have something to drink? [Without waiting for a response, he opens the mini-bar fridge and pours himself a glass of whiskey.]
Sea Lion. How much did you lose to the swindlers in yesterdays game of Bura?
Makar. So, somebodys already ratted. I was just about to cut out but they dragged me back in.
Sea Lion. A freaking Al Capone.
Makar. Around hundred grand, maybe more.
Sea Lion. A gambling debt is a debt of honor.
Makar. You want me to get stabbed?
Sea Lion. Youre used to it, arent you?
Makar. Its not funny, Oleg. Give me the money.
Sea Lion. Perhaps youd also like a share of the hotel stock?
Makar. Ha-ha-ha! I saw this creep ambushing in the kitchen, so I faked him out.
Sea Lion. Right, youre a real master of lurking. While Agap still has a lot to learn.
Sea Lion opens the drawer again, gets a wad of banknotes out, and offers it to Makar.
Sea Lion. One hundred and fifty. Its the last time I give you money this month.
Makar. Thank you, my boy.
Sea Lion. Pour me this whiskey too.
Makar. How much?
Sea Lion. You dont see the edges?
Makar. As the saying goes, trust in God but lock your car.
Makar pours a full glass and puts it on the desk in front of Sea Lion, then tops off his own glass.
Sea Lion. Godspeed.
Makar. Here we go.
Pause.
Sea Lion. Someones digging into us.
Makar. Who?
Sea Lion. You tell me.
Makar. Everything comes at a price. Were bound to pay it some day.
Sea Lion. Oh, please, give these loads of philosophical garbage to your skirts!
Makar. Theres rumor going round the village that an officer came to the far mine, asking all about the gold.
Sea Lion. That nosy dork got mauled to death by a bear yesterday. An accident.
Makar. Poor little bear.
Sea Lion. The Siberian forests are vast, there are enough bears for everyone.
Makar. Well deal with the locals but my gut tells me that the digging was initiated in Moscow.
Sea Lion. Merp.
Makar. Our gold makes everybody restless. Speaking of which How much did you get this time?
Sea Lion puts the travel bag on his desk. Makar opens it and gives a whistle.
Makar. Wed better beef up security. All kinds of loafers are hanging around here. [He takes the bag by the handles, weighing it, and puts it back on the desk.] Around eight kilos of pure gold.
Sea Lion. Katzmann advanced the rate.
Makar. Son of a bitch!
Sea Lion. We all earn money as best we can. Nows not the time to pick a fight with him.
Makar. A la ger com a la ger. I say we bring this huckster to heel later. Well get our share of the cake, be sure.
Sea Lion. They wont get me. Neither by force nor in any other way. I will use my own teeth to rip out their throats!
Makar. Tusks.
Sea Lion. What?
Makar. You will use your tusks to do that. You are a sea beast, Eumetopias jubatus, Stellers sea lion!
Sea Lion. Get out of here.
Pause.
Sea Lion. When the rumpus starts, Ill set up all-round defense. And if it comes to the push, Im gonna have to lie low. But you know what, Makar?
Makar. What?
Sea Lion. My brother. Makar Sergeevich. When the going gets rough Ill look around. And if you arent here, Ill know that youd set off in quest of your fortune and I wont see you again.
Pause.
Sea Lion. And if you are still here, itll be clear to me that my beloved brother has only one wish to be here, with me. And you, Makar, will have to prove that to me in deed every single moment.
Makar. I wont betray you, Oleg.
Sea Lion. Splendid. Good talk. You can go now.
Makar. Ear to the ground.
Makar walks towards the door.
Sea Lion. Makar!
Makar. What?
Sea Lion. Put back the money youve stolen from the cash register today. Do that again, and Ill break your fingers.
Makar. Okay.
Makar leaves.
Scene 7
The Rubicon Roadside Inn & Diner.