What have I said? he murmured. Does he really have it right?
Dill and Doughnuts
A sweet scent of dill and doughnuts threaded the air at the Golden Sickle cafeteria, not far from the centre of town. A squat middle-aged woman with frizzy orange hair, a square flat face of a similar colour and tiny, apple-pip eyes was enjoying a pastry stuffed with boiled condensed milk and chewy chopped nuts. Her companion sat opposite sighing into a plate of shredded grey cabbage and dill.
Honestly, Valya, this vegetarian diet will kill me.
No, Alla, it will save you. Listen to what your doctor said. Blood pressure is a killer. Meat is a killer. Dairy is a killer. Valya smacked her lips and set about removing nut chunks from her back teeth. Youve spent your life eating poison and now its time to put it right. Get that cabbage down you and youll feel better. Teeth picked clean, she padded her finger around her plate, collecting up the last crumbs and sucking at them with noisy gusto. I could eat that again. Not as good as what I make, though. I did a torte Napoleon Saturday night for Vlad. It was magnificent. She smacked her lips.
He was? Allas grey head bobbed up.
It was. He was as well, but then you know that. Her eyes disappeared as she grinned, leaning back in her chair, and stretched out her arms. Akh, my aching limbs. Six hours straight at the dacha I did on Sunday! But its all done now: all ready for winter. You want to see another winter, dont you?
Allas eyes dropped to her cabbage salad and she turned over the pallid, speckled leaves with a bent fork. Of course I do, she muttered, its just
Then eat your salad, and stop complaining. Do you want tea?
Every feature of Allas face drooped downwards, as if mouth, nose, eyes and brows might melt into a grey, watery puddle on the plate below. A sob rose in her throat. I cant have it! She almost choked on the words. I can have compote, or birch cordial. No stimulants.
He-he! Valya laughed gruffly and slapped her on the back. Look on it as you-time: its a treat for yourself. A real treat. Ill be back in a minute. She bustled over to the counter to get the drinks.
Alla wished she had never started visiting the doctor. But once you start, and they find something wrong, it is difficult to kick the habit. One thing leads to another, you feel beholden to them, and before you know it, its part of your weekly routine. It was bearable when there were just pills to be swallowed but now her whole life revolved around keeping herself alive. She skewered a piece of cabbage and placed it on her tongue. At the next table, a small girl was eating a sausage in pastry. Alla could smell it, every grease-laden, fat-drenched molecule. Her stomach howled.
Valya returned with a glass of steaming tea for herself, and a glass of hot water for her friend.
Na zdarovie! she laughed, chinking the glasses together as she pushed her ample backside into the small wooden chair. She took a slurp and screwed up her face, gold teeth flashing. Ah! Thats better. Sorry, no birch or compote, so She leant forward. Are you going on Friday?
Going where?
Madame Zoyas?
The tea leaves? Nobody told me!
Not leaves: a séance, Valya hissed. I just heard today.
Ooh! I wonder Alla pulled a dog-eared diary from her bag and ruffled its pages. Yes, that should be fine, Im on earlies. I wonder if I could invite Polly?
Akh, Polly? Why would you want to do that? Valya flexed her shoulders under her mountainous green jumper and clucked her tongue. Its not like shes your friend, is it?
No but her mother is, and I said Id keep an eye on her. And Alla sniffed, and inspected a piece of cabbage. I only managed to get to the pharmacy once last week, and she wasnt there. I need to speak to her about my stomach, you see. Say what you like, but she can always supply the medicaments, even when theyre, you know She squinted over either shoulder in a conspiratorial manner. officially out of stock. When I had that trouble with my you-know-what last month, she was right on the button, came up trumps. Best in the pharmacy
I wouldnt know. You wouldnt catch me in that place.
No, well, youre healthy. Look at you: such colour in those cheeks.
Valyas cheeks glowed with a hue bordering on crimson.
Thats what everyone says. I get to work on a Monday morning, and theyre all sitting behind the counter like a crate of anaemic lemons. I walk in, and the place lights up.
Well, it is a bank, Valya. Its not difficult to light up a bank.
Says she, who works in the worlds darkest department store! Its like a cave! When are they going to buy some light-bulbs, eh? Its not 1991 any more, you know! Tell them, tell them to give you light! Anyway: Friday, eight p.m.
Who is the guest, do we know?
Youll never guess.
No, I wont. Alla stabbed a piece of bendy cabbage with her fork and looked away from her friends annoyingly healthy face.
Well, have a go! Valya bellowed after a brief pause.
I dont know!
Its only Papasyan!
Whos he?
Oh, you know Valyas brow descended, nearly meeting her lips as she tutted and added more sugar to her tea. The bank boss.
I dont think I
I used to work for him, up in Rostov. Ive told you about him a thousand, million times. Everyone knows about him: snobby; miser; magician; tall; dark; ugly.
I dont think I
I used to work for him, up in Rostov. Ive told you about him a thousand, million times. Everyone knows about him: snobby; miser; magician; tall; dark; ugly.
Oh, wait a minute! They say hes got gold
Hidden in the toilet! Thats the one. Always miserable.
Well, if hes had a death in the family
He hasnt. He hasnt got any family; no excuse to be miserable. Just always is.
Well, thats interesting, I wonder why he wants a séance then? I remember when
Its all nonsense, anyway, of course, Valya cut in, slapping her hand on the table.
What is?
The séances: they never helped me.
No, well, your husband was always very quiet. He
All nonsense! Valya slapped her hand on the table again and slurped her tea decisively.
Alla sipped her hot water and eyed her friend. You were scared last time.
I was not!
You seemed scared to me. You were shaking.
I was coming down with something. I felt awful. Sweating all over.
But youre never ill!
I was then! Anyway, itll be interesting to see the old goat, and find out whats his trouble. I always thought he was a sceptic, like me.
Ill give Polly a ring. She came once before, didnt she? And its my duty, really, isnt it, to invite her out occasionally? Itll give me an excellent opportunity for a chat about my
Youll be lucky. Shes been very busy lately Valya pronounced the word with heavy emphasis, with my Vlad.
Alla wrinkled her nose. Do you think shes avoiding me? I mean, she used to come into the store on Fridays to say hello, on her way to the folk-art souvenirs counter
Folk art!
Each to their own, Valya.
Pah! If youre going to invest, do it in something proper: diamonds, gold, or oil like me! Ive bought four barrels, got them stored at the dacha! Ha! Whats the point investing in those trinkets? All those lacquered Palekh boxes. Valya waggled her plump fingers across the table. Miniature art? Silly!
Its a good investment! And its sweet!
Valya sprayed a film of tea across her friend as she choked. Sweet? Polly?
At least theyre something solid in your hand, a real piece of Russian heritage! Not like those, what do they call them shares? I mean, what are shares? Just worthless paper! Alla pushed the remains of her cabbage away. Did you hear, the whole of School No. 4 was invested in PPP?
The pyramid scheme? Youre joking?
The headmaster thought he could triple the budget if he invested they found his body washed up in the creek last Friday. Hed jumped off the bridge.
Stupid man, God rest his soul. Valya rolled her tiny eyes as far as they would roll, and blotted her brow with a crinkly serviette. Maybe Vlad could come too. Id feel safer with him there.
Safer?
At the counter a broad woman in a stained white overall and a chefs hat began shouting at the customers while brandishing a slotted spoon.
Time to go? asked Alla.
Time to go, nodded Valya. Cooks been at the home-brew. Ill see you on Friday if you live that long.
She laughed deep in her chest and knocked Alla on the back with her fist. Alla coughed, and did not laugh.
Ill phone Polly.
Please do. Try to peel her away from my poor Vlads side. Shes a bad influence on him, you know. I can see the difference already. And its not good. She dragged her heavy autumn coat over arms bursting with flesh. Ooh, thats tight!
A girl always spoils a man, thats what I say.
Well Alla, thats a stupid thing to say. I didnt spoil my husband: I improved him.
Improved him into the grave.
Now then! I didnt know he had a weak heart. But Vlad he was such a sweet boy. I know hes not been with me long, but he was so attentive, so chatty. And now hes always on the phone, hardly eats a thing, constantly coming and going. And getting through so many pairs of underpants! Hes got huge bags under his eyes, you know.
Hes young, Valya. Maybe you should have a motherly word? Alla smiled as she pulled on her gloves.
Motherly? I hardly think so! Valyas cheeks flushed deep vermilion as she fanned herself by the open door.
Alla applied her bobble hat. Then maybe we should ask Madame Zoya, you know, to ask the spirits The departed often have a point of view, dont they? They can tell if a romance is going right.
Romance? Its lust thats what it is! Come along, Alla. The poor boys being led by his
The door slammed on the words as the two ladies stepped into the street. Alla trotted quickly towards the bus stop, eager to get home and issue her invite, pleased at the prospect of discussing her digestion with a more qualified ear than Valyas.
Valya herself waddled a few steps behind, the bright blue headscarf clinging tightly to her orange hair. She thought back to her days in the bank up in Rostov, and the curmudgeonly boss who had, just the once, taken a boiled egg from his lunch box and made it disappear. Hed shaken off their amazement, turned his back on calls for more. Hed been such a closed man, firmly sealed in his shell. Maybe now he was opening up? And who knew what pearls might lie within this old clam. She smacked her lips in anticipation.