You left last night, said Paul. We were cut short earlier... when I was trying to tell you.
Im so sorry, said Ren. How are you doing?
He shrugged. Its the right thing.
As it was the last time.
Its a complex situation. I
I dont want to hear your depressing shit. Ive got my own depressing shit. And people are dead in mine. Sorry, said Ren, I just remembered I have to call someone before now.
I cant believe I just said that. Jesus.
And now you have to make the call in front of him. Think quickly, bitch.
As she scrolled through her Contacts, they arrived at Clyde Brimmers house.
Ren looked up at it. It looks like it was blown here by a tornado. I have a feeling it will be rancid.
I see your feeling and raise it. He got out of the car, leaned into her. Let me do the recce. Sit tight.
Ren watched as he went up to the door and knocked on it. He turned around to her with a face of faux terror. She laughed.
Clyde Brimmer appeared at the door, barefoot and bleary-eyed.
Rens phone beeped with a text. She looked down.
Joe Lucchesi.
Something shifted in her chest.
Oh, no: do not like this man either. You cant handle damage.
You fucking are damage.
Joe was the ex-NYPD homicide detective who came to Denver to work the Duke Rawlins investigation alongside her. Ren opened his text.
Hey there...
Dont Hey there me. Its adorable. Even without a comma. Men are crap at punctuation.
She read on.
i hope life is treating you well.
Capitalize your fucking is!
x
Her heart surged.
From one fucking x. How old am I?
She thought of the first time she saw Joe, when she was waiting to pick him up at Denver airport. He walked through Arrivals, handsome, muscular, holding his beautiful sleeping daughter in his arms. She felt an instant attraction that vanished because they clashed, but returned when he apologized, and remained, despite him telling her she reminded him of his late wife.
She remembered the night they had slept in the same bed, and how she had run from it the next morning, because she was with Ben.
Joe Lucchesi... another man of mine wrapped up in guilt.
And more...
Her stomach tightened at the thought; the other memories, the horrifying ones: she and Joe had been the only two there at the harrowing peak of the investigation, when Duke Rawlins announced that he was the father of Grace, that beautiful sleeping daughter: eight years earlier, Duke Rawlins had drugged and raped Joes wife, and she had died in childbirth.
Stop.
She thought of replying to the text.
To say what? Weve seen too much. We are forever altered.
She thought of Joes face, his eyes, his strength.
He is so sexy. He is kind. He is a wonderful father.
She thought of his pain, his anger, his tears.
He is... wildly damaged.
Run.
Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.
Run.
Two for one!
She glanced up at the house. Clyde Brimmer was taking a while to process whatever Paul was saying to him.
Are you kidding me, though? Ben. Joe. Paul.
Emotional.
Overload.
Paul turned back to Ren, gave her a thumbs-halfway-up before he disappeared through the front door.
The place half-stinks?
Ren went into the house.
The place half-stinks.
Paul was alone in the living room. He raised his eyebrows when she walked in. Well?
Good call, said Ren. I can just about handle this. She looked around. So many questionable surfaces...
Sit beside me, said Paul, smoothing out the sofa cushion.
Clyde came back in. I feel like I should offer you some coffee.
Feel away. Theres no need, said Ren. Were happy with our current gut flora. She stood up. Sorry, Clyde I didnt introduce myself. Im Ren Bryce, Im on the CARD team with Paul.
Clyde sat down on an armchair, nodded without looking up. Youre a beautiful lady.
Ren laughed. Thank you. Blind drunk already.
We wanted to talk to you about why you came to the press conference, said Ren, and what you were saying about the lake, your concerns about Caleb.
Clydes eyes went wide, but his gaze stayed on the floor. He was kneading something between his thumb and forefinger. He held up an opaque white stone.
Ooh moonstone. Thats beautiful, said Ren.
He held it out to her.
Cooties!
She took it in her hand. Its really beautiful. Hand sanitizer, hand sanitizer.
He beamed. She handed it back to him. Thank you. Did you get that in Gemstones in town?
Are you connected to Teddy Veir?
Clyde shook his head. No, no... He kept shaking his head.
Where did you get it? said Ren.
He shrugged. Been such a long time, I cant remember.
Ren nodded. So, she said. The lake... what can you tell me?
There was a haunted look in his eye. Aaron was a strong swimmer.
Aaron? She and Paul exchanged glances.
Hed lived by that lake for seven years, said Clyde. I was so shocked... He trailed off.
That he drowned? said Paul.
Ren could see Clydes hand shaking. His foot started to tap the floor.
Clyde, said Ren. You can trust us. I promise. What is it?
The lake...
Ren leaned into him. Are you... afraid of the lake?
He thought about it, brought his gaze a little higher, his eyes pale, watery, flickering with questions.
Im afraid of Gil Wiley.
The what now? Wiley? said Ren.
Wiley... said Clyde, is going to kill me.
Why do you think that? said Ren.
Cos I drive him crazy thats why. Thats why Im always trying to get past him to Pete. But Wiley stands in my way the whole time.
Always? How many times do you come forward with shit?
Hes a dismissive man, said Clyde. Very dismissive.
What do you feel hes dismissing? said Paul.
What Ive been trying to tell him, said Clyde. About Aaron Fuller.
He lowered his head, then brought his wide, fearful eyes for the first time to meet Rens. I dont think it was an accident, said Clyde. Or maybe it was. I dont know. He shrugged. But something else definitely happened to Aaron. I think... maybe he had been hurt before he went into the water.
21
Rens heart was pounding. She nodded calmly.
Lets not freak him out.
Lets not hang on his every word, either.
Reliability level? Blood alcohol level?
OK, said Ren. Talk us through why you think that. Were listening.
Clyde nodded. Thank you. OK, so when you get a bruise, you break capillaries and blood leaks out, but it could take ten or twelve hours for the bruise to come up. If you die, your heart stops, the bloods not pumping around any more, so the bruise might never appear. Aaron was found floating in the lake lucky to be found, too. If he didnt go in somewhere shallow, he wouldnt have been.
It would have been spring before the body surfaced, said Ren.
Exactly.
At autopsy, said Clyde, the ME figured he drowned thats what the evidence pointed to. But, you know, an ME will only resect the back tissue if its an abuse case, or he suspects abuse and therefore hidden bruising. But, otherwise, if the back looks fine, he would have no reason to do that.
Ren nodded.
How it works is, embalming fluid replaces blood in the vascular system, said Clyde. It makes any blood thats in the tissue stand out better...
Its so weird listening to words like that coming out of a man like him. He loves this. And its been taken away from him.
When that happened with Aaron, said Clyde. I saw a large bruise at the center of his back...
Rens heart rate shot up.
That bruise could have been because he was hurt before he died, said Clyde. Or... because someone was holding him under the water. He shifted forward in his seat. That couldve been the mark of a knee in his back is what Im trying to say. He shrugged. At the very least, though, I think he suffered an injury of some kind.
Holy shit. Absolutely, said Ren.
Clydes face was flooded with relief.
And now for the awful part. I have to ask, said Ren. Im aware that you lost your job that day
I was stone-cold sober when I worked on Aaron, said Clyde.
Please look at me, said Ren.
Clyde shook his head, his lips pursed.
Ren reached out and squeezed his forearm. Were not here to judge you, not in any way. We just need you to tell us the truth. I cant stress to you enough how important this is. We need the absolute truth, here, OK? Whatever that is. Because we can do something about it, once we know...
Tears filled Clydes eyes. He wiped at them with his sleeve. Im a goddamn mess, Im a mess...
No, youre not, said Ren. That was a difficult job for you. Embalming a child, the child of someone you knew...
Yes! said Clyde. It was terrible.
Ren waited. She could hear his breathing, growly, uneven. She looked at his fingers and noticed, for the first time, the nicotine stains. She imagined his hands before they spent most of their time gripping a bottle of liquor, younger, paler hands, years from being gnarled and ruddy, and yellowed.
All that alcohol flowing through your veins. Then embalming fluid.
Im a terrible human being . who loves alcohol flowing through her veins.
I may have had one drink... said Clyde.
Fuck. One? said Ren.
He kept his eyes on his hands.
Look at me, said Ren. He didnt.
It was only... it... it... took a lot out of me, said Clyde. Brought back some bad, bad memories. This boy, only a boy, laid out, his life over, only eleven years old. Do you remember being eleven? I do. I was having the time of my life, it was all ahead of me. You never for a second think anything bads going to happen to you, you just think that whatever dreams you have will come true. And... He shrugged. You never know when your life is going to be taken gone, up in smoke. I know that, after I left the job, a seven-year-old kid was brought in choked on a sandwich. Gone. Just like that...
Pete mentioned that to us, said Ren. She paused. What bad memories did Aarons death bring back for you?
I... my sister, said Clyde. My sister, Lizzie, died. She was only ten years old. She fell through a rotted deck at Lake Verny. No one listened to me... I... was the custodian there. It was a summer job when I was in high school, but I took it seriously. But, I guess, no one took me seriously.
Ren nodded. That must have been very hard for you. But your sisters accident wasnt your fault.
He looked up at her. I should have pushed harder. I should have ignored the owners when they said not to fix the deck yet.
She looked at his eyes, red-rimmed, sad, and prickling with fear. Her heart sank. You poor guilt-ridden man.