Well, I reckon Ill just have to show em that Im not strange children, she said at last to herself, moving confidently forward again.
Pursuant of this idea Pollyanna smiled sweetly into the eyes of the next person she met, and said blithely:
Its a nice day, isnt it?
Er what? Oh, y-yes, it is, murmured the lady addressed, as she hastened on a little faster.
Twice again Pollyanna tried the same experiment, but with like disappointing results. Soon she came upon the little pond that she had seen sparkling in the sunlight through the trees. It was a beautiful pond, and on it were several pretty little boats full of laughing children. As she watched them, Pollyanna felt more and more dissatisfied to remain by herself. It was then that, spying a man sitting alone not far away, she advanced slowly toward him and sat down on the other end of the bench. Once Pollyanna would have danced unhesitatingly to the mans side and suggested acquaintanceship with a cheery confidence that had no doubt of a welcome; but recent rebuffs had filled her with unaccustomed diffidence. Covertly she looked at the man now.
He was not very good to look at. His garments, though new, were dusty, and plainly showed lack of care. They were of the cut and style (though Pollyanna of course did not know this) that the State gives its prisoners as a freedom suit. His face was a pasty white, and was adorned with a weeks beard. His hat was pulled far down over his eyes. With his hands in his pockets he sat idly staring at the ground.
For a long minute Pollyanna said nothing; then hopefully she began:
It IS a nice day, isnt it?
The man turned his head with a start.
Eh? Oh er what did you say? he questioned, with a curiously frightened look around to make sure the remark was addressed to him.
I said twas a nice day, explained Pollyanna in hurried earnestness; but I dont care about that especially. That is, of course Im glad its a nice day, but I said it just as a beginning to things[27], and Id just as soon talk about something else anything else. Its only that I wanted you to talk about something, you see.
The man gave a low laugh. Even to Pollyanna the laugh sounded a little queer, though she did not know (as did the man) that a laugh to his lips had been a stranger for many months.
So you want me to talk, do you? he said a little sadly. Well, I dont see but what I shall have to do it, then. Still, I should think a nice little lady like you might find lots nicer people to talk to than an old duffer like me.
Oh, but I like old duffers, exclaimed Pollyanna quickly; that is, I like the OLD part, and I dont know what a duffer is, so I cant dislike that. Besides, if you are a duffer, I reckon I like duffers. Anyhow, I like you, she finished, with a contented little settling of herself in her seat that carried conviction.
Humph! Well, Im sure Im flattered, smiled the man, ironically. Though his face and words expressed polite doubt, it might have been noticed that he sat a little straighter on the bench. And, pray, what shall we talk about?
Its its infinitesimal to me. That means I dont care, doesnt it? asked Pollyanna, with a beaming smile. Aunt Polly says that, whatever I talk about, anyhow, I always bring up at the Ladies Aiders. But I reckon thats because they brought me up first, dont you? We might talk about the party. I think its a perfectly beautiful party now that I know some one.
P-party?
Yes this, you know all these people here to-day. It IS a party, isnt it? The lady said it was for everybody, so I stayed though I havent got to where the house is, yet, thats giving the party.
The mans lips twitched.
Well, little lady, perhaps it is a party, in a way, he smiled; but the house thats giving it is the city of Boston. This is the Public Garden a public park, you understand, for everybody.
Is it? Always? And I may come here any time I want to? Oh, how perfectly lovely! Thats even nicer than I thought it could be. Id worried for fear I couldnt ever come again, after to-day, you see. Im glad now, though, that I didnt know it just at the first, for its all the nicer now. Nice things are nicer when youve been worrying for fear they wont be nice, arent they?
Perhaps they are if they ever turn out to be nice at all, conceded the man, a little gloomily.
Yes, I think so, nodded Pollyanna, not noticing the gloom. But isnt it beautiful here? she gloried. I wonder if Mrs. Carew knows about it that its for anybody, so. Why, I should think everybody would want to come here all the time, and just stay and look around.
The mans face hardened.
Well, there are a few people in the world who have got a job whove got something to do besides just to come here and stay and look around; but I dont happen to be one of them.
Dont you? Then you can be glad for that, cant you? sighed Pollyanna, her eyes delightedly following a passing boat.
The mans lips parted indignantly, but no words came. Pollyanna was still talking.
I wish I didnt have anything to do but that. I have to go to school. Oh, I like school; but theres such a whole lot of things I like better. Still Im glad I CAN go to school. Im specially glad when I remember how last winter I didnt think I could ever go again. You see, I lost my legs for a while I mean, they didnt go; and you know you never know how much you use things, till you dont have em. And eyes, too. Did you ever think what a lot you do with eyes? I didnt till I went to the Sanatorium. There was a lady there who had just got blind the year before. I tried to get her to play the game finding something to be glad about, you know but she said she couldnt; and if I wanted to know why, I might tie up my eyes with my handkerchief for just one hour. And I did. It was awful. Did you ever try it?
Why, n-no, I didnt. A half-vexed, half-baffled expression was coming to the mans face.
Well, dont. Its awful. You cant do anything not anything that you want to do. But I kept it on the whole hour. Since then Ive been so glad, sometimes when I see something perfectly lovely like this, you know Ive been so glad I wanted to cry; cause I COULD see it, you know. Shes playing the game now, though that blind lady is. Miss Wetherby told me.
The GAME?
Yes; the glad game. Didnt I tell you? Finding something in everything to be glad about. Well, shes found it now about her eyes, you know. Her husband is the kind of a man that goes to help make the laws, and she had him ask for one that would help blind people, specially little babies. And she went herself and talked and told those men how it felt to be blind. And they made it that law. And they said that she did more than anybody else, even her husband, to help make it, and that they didnt believe there would have been any law at all if it hadnt been for her. So now she says shes glad she lost her eyes, cause shes kept so many little babies from growing up to be blind like her. So you see shes playing it the game. But I reckon you dont know about the game yet, after all; so Ill tell you. It started this way. And Pollyanna, with her eyes on the shimmering beauty all about her, told of the little pair of crutches of long ago, which should have been a doll.
When the story was finished there was a long silence; then, a little abruptly the man got to his feet.
Oh, are you going away NOW? she asked in open disappointment.
Yes, Im going now. He smiled down at her a little queerly.
But youre coming back sometime?
He shook his head but again he smiled.
I hope not and I believe not, little girl. You see, Ive made a great discovery to-day. I thought I was down and out[28]. I thought there was no place for me anywhere now. But Ive just discovered that Ive got two eyes, two arms, and two legs. Now Im going to use them and Im going to MAKE somebody understand that I know how to use them!
The next moment he was gone.
Why, what a funny man! mused Pollyanna. Still, he was nice and he was different, too, she finished, rising to her feet and resuming her walk.
Pollyanna was now once more her usual cheerful self, and she stepped with the confident assurance of one who has no doubt. Had not the man said that this was a public park, and that she had as good a right as anybody to be there? She walked nearer to the pond and crossed the bridge to the starting-place of the little boats. For some time she watched the children happily, keeping a particularly sharp lookout for the possible black curls of Susie Smith. She would have liked to take a ride in the pretty boats, herself, but the sign said Five cents a trip, and she did not have any money with her. She smiled hopefully into the faces of several women, and twice she spoke tentatively. But no one spoke first to her, and those whom she addressed eyed her coldly, and made scant response.
After a time she turned her steps into still another path. Here she found a white-faced boy in a wheelchair. She would have spoken to him, but he was so absorbed in his book that she turned away after a moments wistful gazing. Soon then she came upon a pretty, but sad-looking young girl sitting alone, staring at nothing, very much as the man had sat. With a contented little cry Pollyanna hurried forward.
Oh, how do you do? she beamed. Im so glad I found you! Ive been hunting ever so long for you, she asserted, dropping herself down on the unoccupied end of the bench.
The pretty girl turned with a start, an eager look of expectancy in her eyes.
Oh! she exclaimed, falling back in plain disappointment. I thought Why, what do you mean? she demanded aggrievedly. I never set eyes on you before in my life.
No, I didnt you, either, smiled Pollyanna; but Ive been hunting for you, just the same. That is, of course I didnt know you were going to be YOU exactly. Its just that I wanted to find some one that looked lonesome, and that didnt have anybody. Like me, you know. So many here to-day have got folks. See?
Yes, I see, nodded the girl, falling back into her old listlessness. But, poor little kid, its too bad YOU should find it out so soon.
Find what out?
That the lonesomest place in all the world is in a crowd in a big city.
Pollyanna frowned and pondered.
Is it? I dont see how it can be. I dont see how you can be lonesome when youve got folks all around you. Still she hesitated, and the frown deepened. I WAS lonesome this afternoon, and there WERE folks all around me; only they didnt seem to to think or notice.
The pretty girl smiled bitterly.
Thats just it.[29] They dont ever think or notice, crowds dont.
But some folks do. We can be glad some do, urged Pollyanna. Now when I
Oh, yes, some do, interrupted the other. As she spoke she shivered and looked fearfully down the path beyond Pollyanna. Some notice too much.
Pollyanna shrank back in dismay. Repeated rebuffs that afternoon had given her a new sensitiveness.