Aye, he said. It is.
We were silent for a time, and Rogers head nodded; I thought he was nearly asleep, and was gathering my legs under me to rise and collect everyone for bed when he lifted his head again.
One thing
Yes?
Have you met a manevernamed William Buccleigh MacKenzie? Or maybe Buck MacKenzie?
I recall the name, I said slowly. But
Roger rubbed a hand over his face and slowly down his throat, to the white scar left by a rope.
Well hes the man who got me hanged, to begin with. But hes also my four-times great-grandfather. Neither one of us knew that at the time he got me hanged, he said, almost apologetically.
Jesus H . Oh, I beg your pardon. Are you still a sort of minister?
He smiled at that, though the marks of exhaustion carved runnels in his face.
I dont think it wears off, he said. But if ye were about to say Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, I wouldnt mind it. Appropriate to the situation, ye might say.
And in a few words, he told me how Buck MacKenzie had ended in Scotland in 1980, only to travel back with Roger in an effort to find Jem.
Theres a great deal more to it than that, he assured me. But the end of itfor nowis that we left him in Scotland. In 1739. With erm his mother.
With Geillis? My voice rose involuntarily, and Mandy twitched and made small cranky noises. I patted her hastily and shifted her to a more comfortable position. Did you meet her?
Yes. Ehm interesting woman. There was a mug on the ground beside him, still half full of beer; I could smell the yeast and bitter hops. He picked it up and seemed to be debating whether to drink it or pour it over his head, but in the event took a gulp and set it down.
Iwewanted him to come with us. Of course there was the risk, but wed managed to find enough gemstones, I thought we could make it, all together. And his wife is here. He waved vaguely toward the distant forest. In America, I mean. Now.
I dimly recall that, from your genealogy. Though experience had taught me the limits of belief in anything recorded on paper.
Roger nodded, drank more beer, and cleared his throat, hard. His voice was hoarse and cracking from tiredness.
I take it you forgave him for I gestured briefly at my own throat. I could see the line of the rope and the shadow of the small scar Id left on his when I did the emergency tracheotomy with a penknife and the amber mouthpiece of a pipe.
I loved him, he said simply. A faint smile showed through the black stubble and the veil of tiredness. How often do you get the chance to love someone who gave ye their blood, their life, and them never knowing who ye might be, or even if yed exist at all?
Well, you do take chances when you have children, I said, and laid a hand gently on Jems head. It was warm, the hair unwashed but soft under my fingers. He and Mandy smelled like puppies, a sweet, thick animal scent, rich with innocence.
Yes, Roger said softly. You do.
Rustling grass and voices behind us heralded the return of the engineersthey were deep in a discussion of indoor plumbing.
Aye, maybe, Jamie was saying, dubious. But I dinna ken if we can get all the things yell need for it before the cold weather comes. Ive just started digging a new privy, though; thatll see us through for the time being. Then in the spring
Brianna said something in reply that I didnt catch, and then they were there, caught in the fires halo, so alike to look at with the light glimmering on their long-nosed faces and ruddy hair. Roger stirred, getting his feet under him, and I stood up carefully, Mandy limp as her rag doll, Esmeralda.
Its wonderful, Mama, Bree said, and hugged me to her, her body strong and straight and softly powerful, encompassing me, Mandy between us. She held me tight for a moment, then bent her head and kissed my forehead.
I love you, she said, her voice soft and husky.
I love you, too, darling, I said around the lump in my throat, and touched her face, so tired and radiant.
She stepped back then and took Mandy from me, swinging her up against a shoulder with practiced ease.
Come on, pal, she said to Jem, gently nudging him with the toe of her boot. Its time for bed. He made a sleepy, interrogative noise and half-lifted his head, then collapsed again, soundly asleep.
Dinna fash, Ill get him. Roger waved Jamie away and, stooping, rolled Jem into his arms and stood up with a grunt. Dye mean to go down, too? he asked. I can come back and take care of the fire, as soon as Ive put Jem down.
Jamie shook his head and put an arm around me.
Nay, dinna trouble yourself. Well maybe sit awhile and see the fire out.
They moved off slowly down the hill, shambling like cattle, to the accompaniment of clanking noises from Briannas bag. The Higgins cabin, where theyd spend the night, showed as a tiny glimmer in the dark; Amy must have lit a lamp and pulled back the hide that covered the window.
Jamie was still holding the chisel in his hand; eyes fixed on his daughters disappearing back, he raised it and kissed it, as hed once kissed the haft of his dirk before me, and I knew this, too, was a sacred promise.
He put the chisel away in his sporran and took me in his arms, my back to him, so we could both watch them out of sight. He rested his chin on top of my head.
What are ye thinking, Sassenach? he said softly. I saw your eyes; there are clouds in them.
I settled against him, feeling his warmth a bulwark at my back.
The children, I said, hesitant. TheyI mean, its wonderful that theyre here. To think wed never see them again, and suddenly I swallowed, overcome by the dizzying joy of finding myselffinding usonce again and so unexpectedly part of that remarkable thing, a family. To be able to see Jem and Mandy grow up to have Bree and Roger again
Aye, he said, a smile in his voice. But?
It took a moment, both to gather my thoughts and to put them into words.
Roger said that something bad had happened, in their own time. And you know it must have been something truly terrible.
Aye, he said, his voice hardening a little. Brianna said the same. But ken, a nighean, theyve lived in this time before. They do know, I meanwhat its like, what it will be like.
The ongoing war, he meant, and I squeezed his hands, clasped about my middle.
I dont think they do, I said softly, looking down across the broad cove. They had vanished into the darkness. Nobody knows who hasnt been there. To war.
Aye, he said, and held me, silent, his hand resting on my side, over the scar of the wound made by a musket ball at Monmouth.
Aye, he said again after a long moment. I ken what yere saying, Sassenach. I thought my heart would burst when I saw Brianna and kent it was really her, and the bairns but for all the joy of it see, I missed them cruelly, but I could take comfort in thinking they were safe. Now
He stopped and I felt his heart beating against me, slow and steady. He took a deep breath, and the fire popped suddenly, a pocket of pitch exploding in sparks that disappeared into the night. A small reminder of the war that was rising, slowly, all around us.
I look at them, he said, and my heart is suddenly filled with
Terror, I whispered, holding tight to him. Sheer terror.
Aye, he said. That.
WE STOOD FOR a bit, watching the darkness below, letting joy return. The window of the Higgins cabin still glowed softly on the far side of the clearing below.
Nine people in that cabin, I said. I took a deep breath of the cool, spruce-scented night, envisioning the fug and humid warmth of nine sleeping bodies, occupying every horizontal inch of the place, with a cauldron and kettle steaming on the hearth.
The second window bloomed into brightness.
Four of them ours, Jamie said, and laughed softly.
I hope the place doesnt burn down. Someone had put fresh wood on the fire, and sparks were beginning to dance above the chimney.
It willna burn down. He turned me round to face him. I want ye, a nighean, he said softly. Will ye lie wi me? It may be the last time we have any privacy for some while.
I opened my mouth to say, Of course! and instead yawned hugely.
I clapped a hand to my mouth, removing it to say, Oh, dear. I really didnt mean that.
He was laughing, almost soundlessly. Shaking his head, he straightened out the rumpled quilt Id been sitting on, knelt on it, and stretched up a hand to me.
Come lie wi me and watch the stars for a bit, Sassenach. If yere still awake in five minutes, Ill take your clothes off and have ye naked in the moonlight.
And if Im asleep in five minutes? I kicked off my shoes and took his hand.
Then I wont bother takin your clothes off.
The fire was burning lower but still steadily; I could feel the warm breeze of it touch my face and lift the hair at my temples. The stars were thick and bright as diamonds spilled in some celestial burglary. I shared this observation with Jamie, who made a very derogatory Scottish noise in response, but then lay back beside me, sighing in pleasure at the view.
Aye, theyre bonnie. Ken Cassiopeia there?
I looked at the approximate portion of the sky indicated by his nod, but shook my head. Im complete rubbish at constellations. I can see the Big Dipper, and I usually recognize Orions Belt, but damned if I see it at the moment. And the Pleiades are up there somewhere, arent they?
Theyre part of Taurusjust there by the hunter. He stretched out an arm, pointing. And thats Camelopardalis.
Oh, dont be silly. There isnt a giraffe constellation, I would have heard of that.
Well, its no really in the sky just now, but there is one. And come to think, is it any more ridiculous than whats happened today?
No, I said softly. No, its not. He put an arm around me and I rolled over to lay my cheek on his chest, and we watched the stars in silence, listening to the wind in the trees and the slow beat of our hearts.
It seemed a long time later when Jamie stirred and sighed.
I dinna think Ive ever seen such stars, not since the night we made Faith.
I lifted my head in surprise. We seldom mentioned Faithstillborn, but embedded in our heartsto each other, though each of us knew the others feelings.
You know when she was conceived? I dont know that.
He ran his hand slowly down my back, fingers pausing to rub circles in the small of it. If Id been a cat, I would have waved my tail gently under his nose.