When he wrote to tell her what he wanted to do, she didnt think it sounded that bad.
She remembers one man with worried eyes who dressed up in his mothers underwear and wanted her to kick him in the crotch. He paid for her to pee on him as he lay on the floor crying in pain, but she couldnt do it. She just grabbed the money and ran.
People get turned on by all sorts of things, Wille says with an embarrassed smile. Obviously you cant force anyone... I mean, you have to pay for some things. Im not expecting you to actually enjoy what you do.
It depends, but I do sometimes enjoy it if the mans gentle, she lies.
Naturally Sofia promises full discretion in her ad, but she still has one safety measure as a precaution. She keeps a diary at home, where she makes a note of the names and addresses of people shes arranged to meet, so that someone will be able to find her if she ever goes missing.
Besides, Tamara saw Wille once, just before she stopped working as an escort, got married and moved to Gothenburg. Sofia knows that Tamara would have posted a warning on the sex-workers forum if hed behaved inappropriately.
As long as you dont find me revolting and repulsive, the man says, taking a step closer to her. I mean, youre so beautiful, and Im... well, I know what I look like. I was OK when I was your age, but...
You look good now, she assures him.
Sofia thinks of all the times shes heard people say that escorts have to be like psychologists, but most of the men she sees never say anything personal.
Shall we go up to the bedroom? Wille asks lightly.
3
Sofia follows him up the broad wooden staircase thinking about how badly she needs to pee. The soft carpet is held in place on each step by thin brass rods. The light from the large chandelier reflects off the varnished banister.
Sofias initial plan had been to concentrate on exclusive clients, the ones who were prepared to pay more for an entire night, ones who wanted company at a party or on a trip.
In the three years shes been working as an escort shes had maybe a couple of dozen jobs like that, but most of her clients just want a blow-job after work before they go home to their families.
The master bedroom is well-lit, dominated by an imposing double bed with beautiful grey silk sheets.
On the wifes side theres a Lena Andersson novel and a jar of fancy hand cream, and on Willes side theres an iPad with finger-marks on the dark glass.
He shows her the black leather straps hes already tied around the bedposts. She notes that theyre not new, the creases are slightly cracked and the colour has begun to flake off.
The room suddenly shudders and spins around a couple of times. She looks at the man, but he seems unconcerned.
He has white marks at the corners of his mouth, from toothpaste.
The staircase creaks and he glances towards the hallway before looking back at her.
I have to be able to trust you to release me when I say so, he says as he unbuttons his shirt. I have to be sure that you wont try to rob me or just run off now that you have your money.
Of course, she replies.
His chest is covered with fair hair, and hes making an effort to suck in his stomach while she looks at him.
Sofia thinks that she can ask to go to the bathroom once hes tied up. Theres an en-suite. The door is open and she can see the shower and a patch of gold mosaic wall in the mirror.
I want you to tie me up, and take your time with it I dont like violence or force, he says.
Sofia nods and takes her shoes off. She feels dizzy again as she straightens up. She looks him in the eye before lifting her dress up to her navel. It crackles with static. She slips her thumbs beneath the top of her tights and starts to pull them down. The feeling of constriction eases as the thin fabric puddles around her calves.
Perhaps youd rather be tied up instead? he asks, smiling at his suggestion.
Perhaps youd rather be tied up instead? he asks, smiling at his suggestion.
No, thanks, she replies as she starts to unbutton her dress.
Its actually pretty comfortable, he jokes, tugging gently at one of the straps.
I dont do that sort of thing, she explains breezily.
Ive never tried it the other way around... Id be prepared to double your fee if you did it, he says with a laugh, as if the thought surprises and delights him.
What hes now offering is more money than she earns in two months, but having to lie there tied up is much too dangerous.
What do you say? he smiles.
No, she replies.
OK, he says quickly, and lets go of the strap.
The buckle makes a tinkling sound as it hits the bedpost.
Do you want me to take all of my clothes off?
Wait a while, he replies, giving her an oddly searching look.
Is it OK if I use the bathroom?
Soon, he says. He sounds like hes trying to control his breathing.
Sofias lips feel strangely cool. When she raises one hand to her mouth she sees his face break into a wide smile.
He walks over to her, takes hold of her chin tightly, and then spits straight in her face.
What are you doing? she asks, as a rush of giddiness sweeps through her head.
Her legs suddenly give out and she lands so heavily on the floor that she bites her tongue. She sinks onto her side as her mouth fills with blood, and she sees him standing over her, unbuttoning his corduroy trousers.
Sofia doesnt have the strength to crawl away. She rests her cheek on the floor and sees a dead fly in the dust under the bed. Her heart is beating so hard that she can hear it thudding in her ears. She realises that she must have been drugged.
Dont. Dont do it, she gasps, before closing her eyes.
Before Sofia loses consciousness it occurs to her that he might be about to murder her, and that this might be the last thing she ever experiences.
4
Sofia wakes up coughing. She suddenly remembers where she is. She is tied to Willes bed. Shes on her back, held in place by the leather straps. Hes tied her so tightly that the muscles in her legs and arms are straining. Her wrists are burning and her fingers are ice-cold.
Her mouth is bone-dry, her tongue feels swollen and sore.
Her thighs have been spread, pushing her dress up around her waist.
This cant be happening, she thinks.
He must have drugged one of the champagne glasses while it was still in the cabinet.
Sofia hears a business-like conversation from the next room. Someone used to being in charge is talking.
She tries to lift her head up to look out of the window, to see if its night or morning, but she cant. It hurts her arms too much.
It has just occurred to her that she has no idea how long shes been lying there when he comes into the room.
Fear fills Sofias heart. She feels her throat constrict and her pulse race.
What definitely mustnt happen has happened.
She tries to calm herself, thinks that she needs to get a conversation going. She has to make him realise that hes picked the wrong girl, but that she wont say anything if he lets her go right away.
Sofia promises herself that shes going to quit being an escort, shes been doing it for too long, and she wastes the money on things she doesnt need.
The man is looking at her with the same hunger as before. She tries to adopt a relaxed expression. She knew right from the start there was something wrong here. But instead of turning around and walking away she ignored her gut instinct. Shes made a catastrophic mistake.
I said no to this, she says in a composed voice.
Yes, he replies with a slow smile, and lets his eyes roam all over her body.
I know girls who think this is OK. I can put you in touch with them if youd like.
He doesnt answer, just breathes heavily through his nose and steps to the end of the bed, between her legs. She feels sweat break out all over her body, and tries to prepare herself for whats to come.
This is assault, you do realise that, dont you?
He doesnt respond, just pushes his glasses up his nose and looks at her with great interest.
This is making me feel very uncomfortable and violated, Sofia begins to say, but stops when her voice starts to tremble.
She forces herself to breathe more slowly, to try not to seem scared, not to beg. What would Tamara have done? She can see her friends freckled face in front of her, that slightly mocking smile, the hardness in her eyes.
Ive got your information written down in a book in my flat, she says, looking him in the eye.
What details? he asks casually.
Your name, which is presumably made up, but the address here, your email, the time of our meeting...
So now I know that, he nods.
The mattress rocks as he starts to crawl up the bed towards her. He stops between her thighs, swaying, then grabs her underwear and pulls. The seams dont break, and her shoulder aches as if its been dislocated.
The man tugs again, with both hands. It stings as the underwear cuts into her hips, but the reinforced seams wont tear.
He whispers something to himself, then leaves her on the bed.
The mattress sways again, and Sofia can feel her thighs starting to cramp.
She has a fleeting memory of football practice, the way she could tell when a cramp was on its way, the tightening of her calves as she tried to pick out lumps of mud from her cleats.
Her friends hot red faces. The noisy locker room, the smell of sweat, liniment and deodorant.
How has it come to this? How did she end up here?
Sofia tries not to cry. She feels like shes finished if she shows fear.
The man returns with a small pair of scissors and cuts through her underwear on both sides, then pulls them off.
There are plenty of people willing to do bondage, Sofia says. I know
I dont want girls who are willing to do it, he interrupts, tossing her underwear onto the bed beside her.
I mean, there are girls who get turned on by being tied up, she says.
You shouldnt have come here, he declares bluntly.
Sofia cant hold her tears back any longer and starts to cry. She arches her back and tugs at the straps so hard that her skin tears and blood starts to trickle down the bottom of her right arm.
Dont do it, she sobs.
The man pulls off his shirt, throws it on the floor, pushes his trousers down and rolls a condom onto his half-erect penis.
He kneels down on the bed and she can smell the rubber on his fingers as he pushes her shredded underwear into her mouth. She starts to retch and comes close to throwing up. Her tongue is completely dry and tears are streaming down her cheeks. The man squeezes one of her breasts through the dress, then lies down heavily on top of her.