Here, dear young lady, Ill take your hand and kiss it as you did mine. You kissed mine three times, but I ought to kiss yours three hundred times to be even with you. Well, but let that pass. And then it shall be as God wills. Perhaps I shall be your slave entirely and want to do your bidding like a slave. Let it be as God wills, without any agreements and promises. What a sweet handwhat a sweet hand you have! You sweet young lady, you incredible beauty!
She slowly raised the hands to her lips, with the strange object indeed of being even with her in kisses.
Katerina Ivanovna did not take her hand away. She listened with timid hope to the last words, though Grushenkas promise to do her bidding like a slave was very strangely expressed. She looked intently into her eyes; she still saw in those eyes the same simplehearted, confiding expression, the same bright gayety.
Shes perhaps too naïve, thought Katerina Ivanovna, with a gleam of hope.
Grushenka meanwhile seemed enthusiastic over the sweet hand. She raised it deliberately to her lips. But she held it for two or three minutes near her lips, as though reconsidering something.
Do you know, angel lady, she suddenly drawled in an even more soft and sugary voice, do you know, after all, I think I wont kiss your hand? And she laughed a little merry laugh.
As you please. Whats the matter with you? said Katerina Ivanovna, starting suddenly.
So that you may be left to remember that you kissed my hand, but I didnt kiss yours.
There was a sudden gleam in her eyes. She looked with awful intentness at Katerina Ivanovna.
Insolent creature! cried Katerina Ivanovna, as though suddenly grasping something. She flushed all over and leapt up from her seat.
Grushenka too got up, but without haste.
So I shall tell Mitya how you kissed my hand, but I didnt kiss yours at all. And how he will laugh!
Vile slut! Go away!
Ah, for shame, young lady! Ah, for shame! Thats unbecoming for you, dear young lady, a word like that.
Go away! Youre a creature for sale! screamed Katerina Ivanovna. Every feature was working in her utterly distorted face.
For sale indeed! You used to visit gentlemen in the dusk for money once; you brought your beauty for sale. You see, I know.
Katerina Ivanovna shrieked, and would have rushed at her, but Alyosha held her with all his strength.
Not a step, not a word! Dont speak, dont answer her. Shell go awayshell go at once.
At that instant Katerina Ivanovnas two aunts ran in at her cry, and with them a maidservant. All hurried to her.
I will go away, said Grushenka, taking up her mantle from the sofa. Alyosha, darling, see me home!
Go awaygo away, make haste! cried Alyosha, clasping his hands imploringly.
Dear little Alyosha, see me home! Ive got a pretty little story to tell you on the way. I got up this scene for your benefit, Alyosha. See me home, dear, youll be glad of it afterwards.
Alyosha turned away, wringing his hands. Grushenka ran out of the house, laughing musically.
Katerina Ivanovna went into a fit of hysterics. She sobbed, and was shaken with convulsions. Every one fussed round her.
I warned you, said the elder of her aunts. I tried to prevent your doing this. Youre too impulsive. How could you do such a thing? You dont know these creatures, and they say shes worse than any of them. You are too selfwilled.
Shes a tigress! yelled Katerina Ivanovna. Why did you hold me, Alexey Fyodorovitch? Id have beaten herbeaten her!
She could not control herself before Alyosha; perhaps she did not care to, indeed.
She ought to be flogged in public on a scaffold!
Alyosha withdrew towards the door.
But, my God! cried Katerina Ivanovna, clasping her hands. He! He! He could be so dishonorable, so inhuman! Why, he told that creature what happened on that fatal, accursed day! You brought your beauty for sale, dear young lady. She knows it! Your brothers a scoundrel, Alexey Fyodorovitch.
Alyosha wanted to say something, but he couldnt find a word. His heart ached.
Go away, Alexey Fyodorovitch! Its shameful, its awful for me! Tomorrow, I beg you on my knees, come tomorrow. Dont condemn me. Forgive me. I dont know what I shall do with myself now!
Alyosha walked out into the street reeling. He could have wept as she did. Suddenly he was overtaken by the maid.
The young lady forgot to give you this letter from Madame Hohlakov; its been left with us since dinnertime.
Alyosha took the little pink envelope mechanically and put it, almost unconsciously, into his pocket.
Alyosha took the little pink envelope mechanically and put it, almost unconsciously, into his pocket.
Chapter XI.
Another Reputation Ruined
It was not much more than threequarters of a mile from the town to the monastery. Alyosha walked quickly along the road, at that hour deserted. It was almost night, and too dark to see anything clearly at thirty paces ahead. There were crossroads halfway. A figure came into sight under a solitary willow at the crossroads. As soon as Alyosha reached the crossroads the figure moved out and rushed at him, shouting savagely:
Your money or your life!
So its you, Mitya, cried Alyosha, in surprise, violently startled however.
Ha ha ha! You didnt expect me? I wondered where to wait for you. By her house? There are three ways from it, and I might have missed you. At last I thought of waiting here, for you had to pass here, theres no other way to the monastery. Come, tell me the truth. Crush me like a beetle. But whats the matter?
Nothing, brotherits the fright you gave me. Oh, Dmitri! Fathers blood just now. (Alyosha began to cry, he had been on the verge of tears for a long time, and now something seemed to snap in his soul.) You almost killed himcursed himand nowhereyoure making jokesYour money or your life!
Well, what of that? Its not seemlyis that it? Not suitable in my position?
NoI only
Stay. Look at the night. You see what a dark night, what clouds, what a wind has risen. I hid here under the willow waiting for you. And as Gods above, I suddenly thought, why go on in misery any longer, what is there to wait for? Here I have a willow, a handkerchief, a shirt, I can twist them into a rope in a minute, and braces besides, and why go on burdening the earth, dishonoring it with my vile presence? And then I heard you comingHeavens, it was as though something flew down to me suddenly. So there is a man, then, whom I love. Here he is, that man, my dear little brother, whom I love more than any one in the world, the only one I love in the world. And I loved you so much, so much at that moment that I thought, Ill fall on his neck at once. Then a stupid idea struck me, to have a joke with you and scare you. I shouted, like a fool, Your money! Forgive my fooleryit was only nonsense, and theres nothing unseemly in my soul. Damn it all, tell me whats happened. What did she say? Strike me, crush me, dont spare me! Was she furious?
No, not that. There was nothing like that, Mitya. ThereI found them both there.
Both? Whom?
Grushenka at Katerina Ivanovnas.
Dmitri was struck dumb.
Impossible! he cried. Youre raving! Grushenka with her?
Alyosha described all that had happened from the moment he went in to Katerina Ivanovnas. He was ten minutes telling his story. He cant be said to have told it fluently and consecutively, but he seemed to make it clear, not omitting any word or action of significance, and vividly describing, often in one word, his own sensations. Dmitri listened in silence, gazing at him with a terrible fixed stare, but it was clear to Alyosha that he understood it all, and had grasped every point. But as the story went on, his face became not merely gloomy, but menacing. He scowled, he clenched his teeth, and his fixed stare became still more rigid, more concentrated, more terrible, when suddenly, with incredible rapidity, his wrathful, savage face changed, his tightly compressed lips parted, and Dmitri Fyodorovitch broke into uncontrolled, spontaneous laughter. He literally shook with laughter. For a long time he could not speak.
So she wouldnt kiss her hand! So she didnt kiss it; so she ran away! he kept exclaiming with hysterical delight; insolent delight it might have been called, if it had not been so spontaneous. So the other one called her tigress! And a tigress she is! So she ought to be flogged on a scaffold? Yes, yes, so she ought. Thats just what I think; she ought to have been long ago. Its like this, brother, let her be punished, but I must get better first. I understand the queen of impudence. Thats her all over! You saw her all over in that handkissing, the shedevil! Shes magnificent in her own line! So she ran home? Ill goahIll run to her! Alyosha, dont blame me, I agree that hanging is too good for her.
But Katerina Ivanovna! exclaimed Alyosha sorrowfully.
I see her, too! I see right through her, as Ive never done before! Its a regular discovery of the four continents of the world, that is, of the five! What a thing to do! Thats just like Katya, who was not afraid to face a coarse, unmannerly officer and risk a deadly insult on a generous impulse to save her father! But the pride, the recklessness, the defiance of fate, the unbounded defiance! You say that aunt tried to stop her? That aunt, you know, is overbearing, herself. Shes the sister of the generals widow in Moscow, and even more stuckup than she. But her husband was caught stealing government money. He lost everything, his estate and all, and the proud wife had to lower her colors, and hasnt raised them since. So she tried to prevent Katya, but she wouldnt listen to her! She thinks she can overcome everything, that everything will give way to her. She thought she could bewitch Grushenka if she liked, and she believed it herself: she plays a part to herself, and whose fault is it? Do you think she kissed Grushenkas hand first, on purpose, with a motive? No, she really was fascinated by Grushenka, thats to say, not by Grushenka, but by her own dream, her own delusionbecause it was her dream, her delusion! Alyosha, darling, how did you escape from them, those women? Did you pick up your cassock and run? Ha ha ha!