He had no thought to spare for it indeed, for when Father Zossima, feeling tired again, had gone back to bed, he thought of Alyosha as he was closing his eyes, and sent for him. Alyosha ran at once. There was no one else in the cell but Father Païssy, Father Iosif, and the novice Porfiry. The elder, opening his weary eyes and looking intently at Alyosha, asked him suddenly:
Are your people expecting you, my son?
Alyosha hesitated.
Havent they need of you? Didnt you promise some one yesterday to see them today?
I did promiseto my fathermy brothersothers too.
You see, you must go. Dont grieve. Be sure I shall not die without your being by to hear my last word. To you I will say that word, my son, it will be my last gift to you. To you, dear son, because you love me. But now go to keep your promise.
Alyosha immediately obeyed, though it was hard to go. But the promise that he should hear his last word on earth, that it should be the last gift to him, Alyosha, sent a thrill of rapture through his soul. He made haste that he might finish what he had to do in the town and return quickly. Father Païssy, too, uttered some words of exhortation which moved and surprised him greatly. He spoke as they left the cell together.
Alyosha hesitated.
Havent they need of you? Didnt you promise some one yesterday to see them today?
I did promiseto my fathermy brothersothers too.
You see, you must go. Dont grieve. Be sure I shall not die without your being by to hear my last word. To you I will say that word, my son, it will be my last gift to you. To you, dear son, because you love me. But now go to keep your promise.
Alyosha immediately obeyed, though it was hard to go. But the promise that he should hear his last word on earth, that it should be the last gift to him, Alyosha, sent a thrill of rapture through his soul. He made haste that he might finish what he had to do in the town and return quickly. Father Païssy, too, uttered some words of exhortation which moved and surprised him greatly. He spoke as they left the cell together.
Remember, young man, unceasingly, Father Païssy began, without preface, that the science of this world, which has become a great power, has, especially in the last century, analyzed everything divine handed down to us in the holy books. After this cruel analysis the learned of this world have nothing left of all that was sacred of old. But they have only analyzed the parts and overlooked the whole, and indeed their blindness is marvelous. Yet the whole still stands steadfast before their eyes, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. Has it not lasted nineteen centuries, is it not still a living, a moving power in the individual soul and in the masses of people? It is still as strong and living even in the souls of atheists, who have destroyed everything! For even those who have renounced Christianity and attack it, in their inmost being still follow the Christian ideal, for hitherto neither their subtlety nor the ardor of their hearts has been able to create a higher ideal of man and of virtue than the ideal given by Christ of old. When it has been attempted, the result has been only grotesque. Remember this especially, young man, since you are being sent into the world by your departing elder. Maybe, remembering this great day, you will not forget my words, uttered from the heart for your guidance, seeing you are young, and the temptations of the world are great and beyond your strength to endure. Well, now go, my orphan.
With these words Father Païssy blessed him. As Alyosha left the monastery and thought them over, he suddenly realized that he had met a new and unexpected friend, a warmly loving teacher, in this austere monk who had hitherto treated him sternly. It was as though Father Zossima had bequeathed him to him at his death, and perhaps thats just what had passed between them, Alyosha thought suddenly. The philosophic reflections he had just heard so unexpectedly testified to the warmth of Father Païssys heart. He was in haste to arm the boys mind for conflict with temptation and to guard the young soul left in his charge with the strongest defense he could imagine.
Chapter II.
At His Fathers
First of all, Alyosha went to his father. On the way he remembered that his father had insisted the day before that he should come without his brother Ivan seeing him. Why so? Alyosha wondered suddenly. Even if my father has something to say to me alone, why should I go in unseen? Most likely in his excitement yesterday he meant to say something different, he decided. Yet he was very glad when Marfa Ignatyevna, who opened the garden gate to him (Grigory, it appeared, was ill in bed in the lodge), told him in answer to his question that Ivan Fyodorovitch had gone out two hours ago.
And my father?
He is up, taking his coffee, Marfa answered somewhat dryly.
Alyosha went in. The old man was sitting alone at the table wearing slippers and a little old overcoat. He was amusing himself by looking through some accounts, rather inattentively however. He was quite alone in the house, for Smerdyakov too had gone out marketing. Though he had got up early and was trying to put a bold face on it, he looked tired and weak. His forehead, upon which huge purple bruises had come out during the night, was bandaged with a red handkerchief; his nose too had swollen terribly in the night, and some smaller bruises covered it in patches, giving his whole face a peculiarly spiteful and irritable look. The old man was aware of this, and turned a hostile glance on Alyosha as he came in.
The coffee is cold, he cried harshly; I wont offer you any. Ive ordered nothing but a Lenten fish soup today, and I dont invite any one to share it. Why have you come?
To find out how you are, said Alyosha.
Yes. Besides, I told you to come yesterday. Its all of no consequence. You need not have troubled. But I knew youd come poking in directly.
He said this with almost hostile feeling. At the same time he got up and looked anxiously in the lookingglass (perhaps for the fortieth time that morning) at his nose. He began, too, binding his red handkerchief more becomingly on his forehead.
Reds better. Its just like the hospital in a white one, he observed sententiously. Well, how are things over there? How is your elder?
He is very bad; he may die today, answered Alyosha. But his father had not listened, and had forgotten his own question at once.
Ivans gone out, he said suddenly. He is doing his utmost to carry off Mityas betrothed. Thats what he is staying here for, he added maliciously, and, twisting his mouth, looked at Alyosha.
Surely he did not tell you so? asked Alyosha.
Yes, he did, long ago. Would you believe it, he told me three weeks ago? You dont suppose he too came to murder me, do you? He must have had some object in coming.
What do you mean? Why do you say such things? said Alyosha, troubled.
He doesnt ask for money, its true, but yet he wont get a farthing from me. I intend living as long as possible, you may as well know, my dear Alexey Fyodorovitch, and so I need every farthing, and the longer I live, the more I shall need it, he continued, pacing from one corner of the room to the other, keeping his hands in the pockets of his loose greasy overcoat made of yellow cotton material. I can still pass for a man at five and fifty, but I want to pass for one for another twenty years. As I get older, you know, I shant be a pretty object. The wenches wont come to me of their own accord, so I shall want my money. So I am saving up more and more, simply for myself, my dear son Alexey Fyodorovitch. You may as well know. For I mean to go on in my sins to the end, let me tell you. For sin is sweet; all abuse it, but all men live in it, only others do it on the sly, and I openly. And so all the other sinners fall upon me for being so simple. And your paradise, Alexey Fyodorovitch, is not to my taste, let me tell you that; and its not the proper place for a gentleman, your paradise, even if it exists. I believe that I fall asleep and dont wake up again, and thats all. You can pray for my soul if you like. And if you dont want to, dont, damn you! Thats my philosophy. Ivan talked well here yesterday, though we were all drunk. Ivan is a conceited coxcomb, but he has no particular learning nor education either. He sits silent and smiles at one without speakingthats what pulls him through.
Alyosha listened to him in silence.
Why wont he talk to me? If he does speak, he gives himself airs. Your Ivan is a scoundrel! And Ill marry Grushenka in a minute if I want to. For if youve money, Alexey Fyodorovitch, you have only to want a thing and you can have it. Thats what Ivan is afraid of, he is on the watch to prevent me getting married and thats why he is egging on Mitya to marry Grushenka himself. He hopes to keep me from Grushenka by that (as though I should leave him my money if I dont marry her!). Besides if Mitya marries Grushenka, Ivan will carry off his rich betrothed, thats what hes reckoning on! He is a scoundrel, your Ivan!
How cross you are! Its because of yesterday; you had better lie down, said Alyosha.
There! you say that, the old man observed suddenly, as though it had struck him for the first time, and I am not angry with you. But if Ivan said it, I should be angry with him. It is only with you I have good moments, else you know I am an illnatured man.
You are not illnatured, but distorted, said Alyosha with a smile.
Listen. I meant this morning to get that ruffian Mitya locked up and I dont know now what I shall decide about it. Of course in these fashionable days fathers and mothers are looked upon as a prejudice, but even now the law does not allow you to drag your old father about by the hair, to kick him in the face in his own house, and brag of murdering him outrightall in the presence of witnesses. If I liked, I could crush him and could have him locked up at once for what he did yesterday.
Then you dont mean to take proceedings?
Ivan has dissuaded me. I shouldnt care about Ivan, but theres another thing.
And bending down to Alyosha, he went on in a confidential halfwhisper.
If I send the ruffian to prison, shell hear of it and run to see him at once. But if she hears that he has beaten me, a weak old man, within an inch of my life, she may give him up and come to me. For thats her way, everything by contraries. I know her through and through! Wont you have a drop of brandy? Take some cold coffee and Ill pour a quarter of a glass of brandy into it, its delicious, my boy.
No, thank you. Ill take that roll with me if I may, said Alyosha, and taking a halfpenny French roll he put it in the pocket of his cassock. And youd better not have brandy, either, he suggested apprehensively, looking into the old mans face.