Everything important, I hope. And even if hed left some gaps, that was much better than the canyons my own family had created in my self-awareness. Not to mention my psyche.
Uncle Brendons eyes narrowed in doubt, and he crossed one ankle over the opposite knee. Did he mention what happens to a persons soul when he dies?
Yeah. Thats where Tod comes in.
Whos Tod?
The reaper who works at the hospital. Hes stuck there because he let this little girl live once when she was supposed to die, and his boss killed the girls grandmother instead. But anyway
Uncle Brendon shot out of the chair, his face flushed so red I thought he might be having an aneurism. Did bean sidhes have aneurisms?
Nash took you to see a reaper? He stomped across my rug, gesturing angrily with both arms. Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? I tried to answer, but he barreled forward, stopping at the end of my bed to stare down at me as he ranted. Reapers dont like bean sidhes. Our abilities are at odds with theirs, and most of them feel very threatened by us. Going to see a reaper is like walking into a police station waving a loaded shotgun.
I know. I shrugged, trying to placate him. But Nash knew this guy before he was a reaper. Theyre friendssort of.
That may be what he thinks, but somehow I doubt Tod agrees. And he was pacing again, as if the faster he walked, the faster he could think. Though my doubts about that technique stemmed from personal experience.
Well, he must, cause hes going to help us. No need to mention that his help stemmed more from my involvement in the matter than from Nashs.
Help you with what? Uncle Brendon froze halfway across the room, facing me, and this time his eyes were definitely swirling.
Help us figure out whats going on. Hes getting some information for us.
My uncles expression darkened, and my breath hitched in my throat as the green in his irises churned so fast it made me dizzy. What kind of information? Kaylee, what are you doing? I want the truth, and I want it right now or I swear you wont leave this house again until you turn twenty-one.
I had to smile at the irony of Uncle Brendon asking me for the truth. I sighed and sat straighter on the bed. Okay, Ill tell you, but dont freak out. Its not as dangerous as it sounds I hope because theres this loophole in the exchange rate, and
The exchange rate? Uncle Brendons face went from tomato-red to nuclear countdown in less than a second. And then there was more pacing. This is why we wanted your father to be the one to explain everything. Or at least me. That way wed know how much you understand and what youre still clueless about.
Im not clueless. My temper spiked, and I stretched to drop my iPod on my nightstand before I accidentally crimped the cord.
You are if you think you have any business even contemplating the exchange rate. You have no idea how dangerous messing in reaper business can be!
Ignorance is dangerous, Uncle Brendon. Dont you get it? Standing, I grabbed a clean pair of jeans and shook them out harshly, pleased when the material snapped against itself, sharply accenting my anger. Eventually, if the premonitions kept up, I would have been unable to hold back my song. Id have wound up delaying some random reapers schedule and really pissing him offnot to mention whatever other invisible creepies are out therewith no idea what I was doing. See? The longer you all keep me bumbling around in the dark, the greater the chance that Ill stumble into something I dont understand. Nash knows that. He explained the possibilities and the consequences. Hes arming me with knowledge because he understands that the best offense is knowing how to avoid trouble.
From what I heard, it sounds more like youre out looking for trouble.
Not trouble. The truth. I dropped the folded jeans on the end of the bed. Theres been precious little of that around here, and even now that I know what I am, you and Aunt Val are still keeping secrets.
He exhaled heavily and sat on the edge of my dresser, scruffing one hand through unkempt hair. Were not keeping secrets from you. Were giving your dad a chance to act like a real father.
Ha! I stomped around the bed to put it between us, then snatched a long-sleeved tee from the pile. Hes had sixteen years. What makes you think hell start now?
Give him a chance, Kaylee. He might surprise you.
Not likely. I folded the shirt in several short, sharp motions, then tossed it on top of the jeans, where one arm flopped free to dangle over the side. If Nash knew what my dad had to say, hed tell me.
Uncle Brendon leaned forward and flipped the sleeve back on top of my shirt. Nash should never have taken you to see a reaper, Kaylee. Bean sidhes have no natural defenses against most of the other things out there. Thats why we live here, with the humans. The key to longevity lies in staying out of sight. In only meeting a reaper once in your lifeat the very end.
Thats ridiculous! I tossed another folded shirt onto the stack and tugged a pair of pajama pants from the pile. A reaper cant touch you unless your name shows up on his list, and when that happens, theres nothing you can do to stop it. Avoiding reapers is pointless. Especially when they can help you. In theory. But wasnt my theory about the dead girls based on the suspicion that at least one reaper had strayed from his purpose?
What truth is this reaper helping you look for? Uncle Brendon sank back into the desk chair with a defeated-sounding sigh. He rubbed his temple as if his head ached, but I was not taking the blame for that. If every adult in my life hadnt been lying to me for thirteen years, none of this would have happened.
Hes sneaking a peek at the master list for the past three days, to find out if the dead girls were on it.
Hes sneaking a peek at the master list for the past three days, to find out if the dead girls were on it.
Hes what? Uncle Brendon went totally, frighteningly still, and the only movement in the room was the tic developing on the outer edge of his left eyelid.
Dont worry. Hes not taking it. Hes just going to look at it.
Kaylee, thats not the point. What hes doing is dangerous, for all three of you. Reapers take their lists very seriously. People arent supposed to know when theyre going to die. Thats why you cant warn them. Once you get a premonition, you cant speak, right?
Yeah. I plucked at some fuzz on the flannel pants, distinctly uncomfortable with the direction the discussion was now headed, and the guilt it brought on. I tried to warn Meredith, but I knew if I opened my mouth, Id only be able to scream.
Uncle Brendon nodded somberly. Theres a good reason for that. Grief consumes people. Imminent death obsesses people. Its bad enough for a person to know hes dying of terminal cancer, or something like that. But to know the exact moment? To have the date and time stamped on your brain, looming closer to you as life slips away? That would drive people crazy.
I gaped at him, pants clenched tightly in both hands. You think I dont know that?
Of course you do. He ran one hand through thick brown hair, exhaling through his mouth in frustration. You know it much better than I ever could, and it got you hospitalized.
No, you and Aunt Val got me hospitalized. I couldnt let that one slide.
Ultimately, yes. Uncle Brendon conceded the point with a single crisp nod. But only because we couldnt help you on our own. We couldnt even calm you down. You screamed for more than an hour, long after the premonition passed, though I was probably the only one who could tell when that happened.
I turned and pulled open the top drawer of my dresser, then dropped the pjs inside. How could you tell?
Male bean sidhes hear a females wail as it truly sounds. After a while, yours changed from the soul song to regular screaming. You were terrifiedhystericaland we were afraid youd hurt yourself. We didnt know what else to do.
It didnt occur to you to talk to me? Tell me the truth? I plucked several pairs of underwear from the pile and stuffed them into another drawer, then slammed it shut.
I wanted to. I even tried to at one point, but you wouldnt listen. I doubt you could even hear me over your own screaming. I couldnt calm you down, even when I tried to Influence you.
Nash could. Hes done it twice now. I sank onto my bed at the memory, absently pulling another bundle of cloth onto my lap, placated by just thinking about Nash.
He has? A strange look passed over my uncles facesome odd combination of surprise, wistfulness, and concern. Hes Influenced you?
Only to calm me during those two premonitions. Why? And suddenly I understood what he was really asking. No! He would never try to Influence me into doing something. Hes not like that.
He seemed to consider my point for a moment, then finally nodded. Good. Im glad he can help you control your wail, even if he has to use his Influence. Thats certainly better than the alternative. He smiled as if to set me at ease, but instead, the tense line of his mouth set me on edge. But weve strayed from the point. Kaylee, you cant get involved in reaper business. And you certainly shouldnt have asked a reaper to spy on a coworker like that. If he gets caught, it wont be pretty. Theyll probably fire him.
So what? What was one lost job compared to an innocent girls life? Besides, losing a job wasnt the end of the world; Emma was proof of that. Shed lost one every couple of months for nearly a year until Id gotten her hired at the Ciné. Soul-snatching seems like a pretty specialized skill, and Nash says there are reapers all over the world. Surely he can find another job somewhere else. He doesnt like the hospital much, anyway.
Uncle Brendon closed his eyes and took a deep breath before meeting my gaze again. Kaylee, you dont understand. Theres no coming back once a reaper loses his position.
Coming back? What does that mean? Coming back from what?
From the dead. Reapers are dead, Kaylee. The only thing keeping their bodies functioning and their souls inside is the job. Once a reaper loses that, its all over.
Nooo. The socks Id been pairing dropped into my lap as I tried to wrap my mind around what he was saying.
So when Tod said hed almost lost his job for letting the little girl live, what he meant was that hed almost lost his life. And if he got caught spying for me, thats exactly what would happen.