He rubbed both hands over his face, and when he met my gaze again he was calm, back in control of his expression. And of his eyes. Yeah, I guess.
What was it about?
I dont remember. He frowned and sank onto the mattress. I just know it was bad. But the waking up part is good so far
Nash pulled me onto his lap. So, whats with the personal wake-up? He swept my hair over one shoulder and suddenly I was acutely aware that he was half-naked and now very close. Phone calls just arent as satisfying anymore? he whispered, trailing feather-soft kisses down my neck.
He leaned us both back, and before I even realized what had happened, I was lying on his bed, his weight pressing me into the mattress. His lips trailed down my neck again and his hand roamed over my shirt, and all I could think was that I didnt want to stop him. Hed waited long enough. I wanted to just let it happen
My next exhale was ragged, and I couldnt control my racing pulse.
I, uh What was I saying? What did he ask? Suddenly it didnt seem to matter.
His hand slid beneath my shirt, but his fingers were freezing on my skin, and the shock woke me up. Irritated, I pulled Nash away and sat up to frown at him. Are you Influencing me?
He shrugged, a heated grin turned up one side of his mouth. Just helping you relax.
Dont Influence me, Nash! I stood, struggling to sustain my anger with his voice still slithering through my mind.
Dont ever do that to me when Im not singing for someones soul. Sometimes his voice helped me quiet my bean sidhe wail, but thats not what this was. Not even close. I hate losing control. Its like falling off a cliff in slow motion. Or being sedated. And thats not what I came in here for, I insisted, waving one hand at the bed.
Nash scowled, and that tremendous, irresistible false calm deserted me, leaving only the chill of its sudden absence and his obvious irritation. How am I supposed to know that? I wake up and youre in my bedroom with the door closed. What was I supposed to think? That you want to play Scrabble?
I I frowned, unsure how to finish that thought. Had I sent him some kind of signal? Was I wearing my Im done with my virginity, please get rid of it for me T-shirt? Your moms in the other room!
Whatever. He sighed and pulled me closer by one hand.
Forgive me?
Only if you promise to play nice.
I swear. So, whats up? He leaned back on a pillow propped against his headboard, hands linked behind his skull, putting himself on display in case I changed my mind.
You said youd give me a ride.
His eyes swirled with mischief, and my cheeks blazed when I realized what Id said. Umyoure the one who said no.
A ride to work. Id just discovered the cause of spontaneous combustion. Surely Id burst into flames any moment.
I guess I could do that, too.
Im serious! But not too serious to let my gaze wander. After all, I was being invited to look I need a lift to work, and I was hoping we could make a stop first.
Where?
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Doug Fullers.
Kaylee he began, and I could already hear the protest forming. He sat up and I let one leg hang off the bed. Whatever Fullers into is none of our business.
Hes taking Demons Breath, I whispered with a nervous glance at the closed door, hoping his mother was still in the kitchen. How is that none of our business?
It has nothing to do with us. He stood and snatched a shirt from the back of his desk chair.
Dont you want to know where he got it? He could have killed someone last night. And if he takes any more of it, hell probably kill himself.
Nash sank into his desk chair. Youre overreacting, Kaylee.
No, youre underreacting. I scooted to the edge of his bed. What happened to looking out for your friends?
What am I supposed to do? He shrugged, frustration clear in the tense line of his shoulders. Go up to Fuller and say, Hey, man, Im not sure where youre getting secondhand air from a demon you dont even know exists, but you need to lay off it before you kill yourself? Thats not gonna sound weird. He kicked a shoe across the room to punctuate his sarcasm.
I crossed my arms over my chest, struggling to keep my voice low. Youre worried about sounding weird in front of a guy whos getting high off someone elses breath?
Why do you care, anyway? Nash demanded. You dont even like Fuller.
That doesnt mean I want to watch him die. Especially considering that his impending death would send me into an uncontrollable, screaming bean sidhe fit, forcing us to decide whether or not to try to save him. And I wont let him take Emma with him.
Nashs scowl wilted, giving way to confusion. What are you talking about?
They were all over each other last night, Nash. While he was high on Demons Breath. And it probably wasnt the first time. She could be accidentally inhaling what he exhales.
Horror flitted across Nashs face, greens and browns twisting in his irises, then he closed his eyes and reset his expression before I was even sure of what Id seen, effectively locking me out of his thought process.
I leaned against his headboard and fiddled with his pillow-case. Tod says its highly addictive and ultimately deadly to humans. What if she gets hooked on it, too? What if she already is?
Nash sighed and sank onto the bed, facing me. Look, we dont even know that Fullers actually addicted, okay? We just know he took some last night. And to even be exposed, Emma would have had to suck air straight from his lungs, right after he inhaled. And the chances of that are almost nil. Right?
How do you know? He was still exhaling enough for me to smell it on him, and theyve been all over each other for the past two weeks. Are you sure she couldnt have gotten even a tiny bit by kissing him?
I seriously doubt it, Kaylee. But before he regained control of his eyes, I saw the truth in the nervous swirl of color. Nash wasnt sure. And he was scared.
He exhaled heavily, then met my gaze again. Okay, well find out if he knows what he was taking and where he got it. But if he doesnt know, dont tell him what it is, okay? No more full disclosures to friends. Emma was plenty.
Fine. I wasnt exactly eager to tell anyone else I wasnt human, anyway.
You have to be at work at noon? I nodded, and he pulled off the shirt hed just put on, then tossed it at his open hamper like a basketball. Well leave as soon as I get out of the shower.
After breakfast, I corrected on my way to the door, smiling over my victory. Your moms making muffins.
In the kitchen, I waited for Nash in a rickety chair at the scratched, round table, watching Harmony wash dishes.
So are you enjoying your freedom? She glanced at me over her shoulder as she set a metal bowl in the dish drainer.
I shrugged. I havent experienced much of it yet.
She dried a clean, plastic-coated whisk, dropped it into an open drawer, then leaned against the counter and eyed me in blatant curiosity. Was it worth it?
Was it worth being grounded? I asked, and she nodded.
Yes. And no. Getting Regans soul back was totally worth it. Four weeks of house arrest were nothing compared to the eternity she would have suffered without her soul. But there was nothing we could do for Addy. And every time I thought about that, my stomach pitched like I was in freefall, a mixture of guilt and horror over my failure.
Do you still hear from Regan? Harmony asked when I didnt elaborate.
Not very often. I think its easier for her to try to forget about what happened with Addy. About the fact that her sister had been damned to eternal torment because she died without her soul. With nothing to release upon her death but a lungful of Demons Breath.
And suddenly I had an idea Do you think Regan will be okay? Because of the Demons Breath, I mean. Tod said its really dangerous.
Harmony nodded absently, opening the oven door to check the muffins. It certainly can be. Demons Breath decays your soul. It rots the parts of you that make you you.
Okay, thats not terrifying.
But on the surface, it acts a bit like a very strong hallucinogenic drug. Itll make you see and hear things that arent there.
Which would explain why Doug thought someone had been in the car with him
Harmony continued, sounding every bit like the nurse she was. Its also highly addictive, and even if it doesnt kill you quickly, long-term use can lead to brain damage and psychosis.
I swallowed the huge lump that had formed in my throat and hoped my voice sounded normal. Psychosis, like, insanity?
Simply put, yes. A complete loss of contact with reality. She used a pot holder to pull the muffin pan from the oven, then kicked the oven door closed. And withdrawal is even worse. It sends the entire system into shock and can easily be fatal, even to someone who survived the substance itself.
Great I whispered. So cutting off Dougs supply might kill him even faster than the Demons Breath would.
Great I whispered. So cutting off Dougs supply might kill him even faster than the Demons Breath would.
Oh, no, hon! I looked up to find her watching the horror surely growing on my face. Dont worry about Regan. She wasnt huffing Demons Breath for a highshe was sustained by it in the absence of her soul. Thats a totally different ball game. Still very dangerous, for obvious reasons, she conceded with a shrug. That whole sell-your-soul thing. But very little risk to her, physically.
Because she didnt have a soul My mind was racing.
But if she inhaled Demons Breath now that her souls back in place
Harmony frowned. Shed be in very serious trouble.
AN HOUR LATER Nash turned his mothers car onto a brick driveway in front of a huge house with a coordinating brick-and-stone facade. And Id thought Scotts place was crazy. Whatever Doug Fullers parents did, they made some serious cash.
You think hes home? I asked, and Nash pointed at the spotless, late-model sports car in the driveway, with a rental sticker on the rear windshield.
He turned off the engine and stuffed the keys into his pocket. Lets get this over with.
Doug answered the door on the third ring in nothing but the sweatpants hed obviously slept in, then backed into a bright, open entryway to let us in. We followed him to a sunken den dominated by a wall-size television, where a video game character I couldnt identify stood frozen with a pistol aimed at the entire room.