Yeah, trade plates, Richard said impatiently. Anyway, I went over to this car, and I lifted up the trade plate on the front, and it was the same reg as the one that got nicked on Tuesday night, Richard said triumphantly. He put his glasses on and grinned nervously at both of us. Its going to be OK, isnt it? he added.
Ruth nodded. Well get it sorted out, Richard. Now, are you absolutely certain that this was the same car?
I still had the keys on my key-ring, he said. It had one of those little cardboard tags on it with the number of the car, so I wasnt just relying on my memory. It was the identical number. Besides, the key I had opened the car, and there was still one of my tapes in the cassette. Isnt that proof enough?
Somehow, I dont think the point at issue is going to be the car, I muttered quietly. Ruth gave me a look that would have curdled a piña colada.
Did you call the police and tell them youd found the car? Ruth asked.
Well, I figured that if I wandered off to look for a phone, the guy that had nicked it could easily have had it away again while I was busy talking to the Dibble. So I thought Id just repo it myself and call the cops when I got home, Richard explained. It wasnt so unreasonable. Even I had to concede that.
What did you do next? Ruth said.
Well, I did what any reasonable person would have done, Richard said. My heart sank. I took the trade plates off and cobbed them in the gutter.
You cobbed them in the gutter? Ruth and I chorused, neck and neck in the incredulity stakes.
Of course I did. They didnt belong to me. Im not a thief, Richard said with a mixture of self-righteousness and naïvety that made my fingers itch with the desire to get round his throat.
It didnt occur to you that they might be helpful evidence for the police in catching the car thieves? Ruth said, all silky savagery.
No, it didnt, Im sorry. Im not like you two. I dont have a criminal sort of mind.
Ruth looked like she wanted to join me in the lynch mob. Go on, she said, her voice icy. What did you do after you disposed of your corroboration?
I got in the car and set off. I was nearly home when I saw the flashing blue lights in my rear-view mirror. I didnt even pull over at first, because I wasnt speeding or anything. Anyway, they cut me up at the lights on Upper Brook Street, and I realized it was me they were after. So I stopped. I opened the window a couple of inches, but before I could say anything, one of the busies opened the door and dragged me out of the motor. Next thing I know, Im spread-eagled over the bonnet with a pair of handcuffs on and his oppos got the boot open.
They kept on at me about the car being stolen, and I kept telling them, yeah, I knew that, cos I was the person it had been stolen off, but they just wouldnt listen. Then the guy looking in the boot came round with this Sainsburys plastic bag, and hes waving it in my face saying, And I suppose the villains that nicked your car decided to leave you a little something for your trouble? Well, I had no idea what was in the boot, did I? So I told them that, and they just laughed, and bundled me into their car and brought me here. Next thing I know is theyre on at me about a parcel of crack. And thats when I thought, uh-oh, I need a brief.
Richard sat back and looked at the two of us. Its an unexpected bonus, getting Brannigan as well, he added. How soon can you get me out of this dump, Ruth? he asked, gesturing round the shabby interview room.
That depends on several things. Being absolutely honest, Richard, Im not optimistic that I can avoid them charging you, which means you wont be going anywhere until I can get you in front of a magistrate and apply for bail, which we can probably manage tomorrow morning. I still have some questions, though. Have you at any time opened the boot of the coupé?
Richard frowned. I dont think so, he said hesitantly. No, Im pretty sure I havent. I mean, why would I?
You didnt check it out when you bought it? Look to see if there was a spare wheel and a jack? Ruth asked.
The salesman showed us when we took it for a test drive, I interjected. I certainly dont remember Richard ever going near it.
He managed a grin. We didnt have it long enough for Brannigan to take it shopping, so we didnt need the boot.
Good, Ruth said. This carrier bag that they produced from the boot. Had you ever seen it before?
Richard shrugged. Well, I dont know. It was just an ordinary Sainsburys carrier bag. Brannigans got a drawer full of them. There was nothing about it to make it any different from any other one. But it wasnt in the boot when that rattlesnake showed us the car on Monday. And I didnt put it there. So I guess its fair to say Id never seen it before.
Did you touch it at all?
How could I? I said, Id never seen it before, Richard said plaintively.
The officer didnt throw it to you, or hand it to you? Ruth persisted.
He couldnt, could he? His oppo had me cuffed already, Richard replied.
Yes, Im a little surprised at that. Had you put up a struggle? Or had you perhaps been a little over-energetic in the verbal department? Ruth asked carefully.
Well, I wasnt exactly thrilled at being bodily dragged out of what was, technically, my own motor when I hadnt even been speeding and Id been on the Diet Coke all night. So I suppose I was a bit gobby, Richard admitted. If my heart could have sunk any further, it would have done. Add resisting arrest to the list, I thought gloomily.
Ruth was clearly as cheered as I was by this news. But you didnt actually offer any physical violence? she asked, the hope in her voice as obvious as a City supporter in a United bus.
No, Richard said indignantly. What do you take me for?
Diplomatically, neither of us answered. The keys for this coupé did you have both sets?
Richard shook his head. No, Brannigan had the others.
Have you still got them? she asked me.
I nodded. Theyre in the kitchen drawer. No one but the two of us has had access to them.
Good, Ruth said. These two women you were with can you give me their names and addresses? Ill need statements from them to show you were talking about their record contract, rather than sitting in some dark corner negotiating a drug deal.
Youre not going to like this, Richard predicted. Correctly, as it turned out. I only know their stage names. Lilith Annsdaughter and Eve Uhuru. I dont have any addresses for them, just a phone number. Its in my notebook, but the boys in blue have taken that off me. Sorry. He tried a smile, but the magic didnt work on either of us.
Good, Ruth said. These two women you were with can you give me their names and addresses? Ill need statements from them to show you were talking about their record contract, rather than sitting in some dark corner negotiating a drug deal.
Youre not going to like this, Richard predicted. Correctly, as it turned out. I only know their stage names. Lilith Annsdaughter and Eve Uhuru. I dont have any addresses for them, just a phone number. Its in my notebook, but the boys in blue have taken that off me. Sorry. He tried a smile, but the magic didnt work on either of us.
Ruth showed her first real sign of tiredness. Her eyes closed momentarily and her shoulders dropped. Leave that with me, she said, her voice little stronger than a sigh. Then she took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders and pulled a packet of extra-long menthol cigarettes out of her briefcase. She offered them round, but got no takers. Do you suppose this counts as Thursdays eleventh or Fridays first? she asked. Either way, its against the rules. She lit the cigarette, surprisingly, with a match torn from a restaurant matchbook. Id have had Ruth marked down as a Dunhill lighter.
One more thing, Ruth said. Youve got a son, havent you, Richard?
Richard frowned, puzzled. Yeah. Davy. Why?
What does he look like?
Why do you want to know that? Richard asked. I was glad he had; it saved me the bother.
According to the custody sergeant, when the officers searched the car more thoroughly, they found a Polaroid photograph that had slid down the side of the rear seat. It shows a young boy. Ruth took a deep breath. In a rather unpleasant pose. I think theyre going to want to ask some questions about that too.
How do you mean, a rather unpleasant pose? I demanded.
Hes stripped down to his underpants and handcuffed to a bed, Ruth said.
Richard looked thunderstruck. I knew just how he felt. And you think thats got something to do with me? he gasped, outraged.
The police might, Ruth said.
It couldnt be anything to do with us, I butted in. Neither of us has been in the back seat since we got the car. The only person whod been in the back seat that I know of is the salesman, on the test drive.
OK, OK, Ruth said. Calm down. All I was thinking is that the photograph might possibly have an innocent explanation, and that it might have been your son.
So what does this kid look like? Richard said belligerently.
Id say about ten, dark wavy hair, skinny.
Richard let out a sigh. Well, you can count Davy out. Hes only eight, average size for his age, and his hairs straight like mine, and the same colour. Light brown. The colour of butterscotch, to be precise.
Fine. Im glad weve cleared that up, Ruth said. Any questions, Kate?
I nodded. Not that I had any hopes of a useful answer. Richard, when you were in Mantos, did you see anyone you recognized from the club the other night? Anyone a bit flash, a bit hooky, the type that just might have nicked the motor?
Richard screwed up his eyes in concentration. Then he shook his head. You know me, Brannigan. I dont go places to look at the punters, he said apologetically.
Did you do a number on anybody about the car?
I didnt mention it to a soul. Id just have looked a dick-head next week, back with my usual wheels, he said, with rare insight.
I dont suppose you know whos doing the heavy-duty stuff round town these days?
Richard leaned forward and stared into my eyes. I could feel his fear. Ive got no interest, he said, his face tense. I bend over backwards to avoid taking any interest. Look, you know how much time I spend in the Moss and Cheetham Hill with new bands. Everybody knows Im a journo. If I showed the slightest interest in the gangs and the drugs, Id be a dead man, blown away on the steps of some newspaper office as a warning to other hacks not to get any daft ideas in their heads about running a campaign to clean up Manchester. You ask Alexis. Shes supposed to be the crime correspondent. You ask her the last time there was a heavy incident in Moss Side or Cheetham Hill where she did anything more than toddle along to the police press conference! Believe me, if I thought for one minute that the gang that owns these drugs knows it was me that drove off with them, Id be begging for protective custody a long, long way from Manchester. No, Brannigan, I do not know whos doing the heavy stuff, and for the sake of both our healths, I suggest that you remain in the same blissful state.