Whatever it was about, Ben said, its none of my business. Im going to finish up my coffee and get out of here. Do us both a favour and try not to get yourself killed with a repeat performance, okay? A broken hearts not worth getting beaten to death over. No matter how pretty she is. Ben pointed back with his thumb at the picture over the desk.
Raul hung his head down so low that it almost touched his knees. He whispered, Was. And she was more than that. She was a lot more.
Ben said nothing.
See, everything anyone says about her now has to be in the past tense. Even I catch myself doing it. As if she really had gone, as if she were no longer a part of the world. Thats what the police would have everyone believe.
Ben still said nothing.
And now Klein says it too, Raul murmured. I thought maybe hed see it differently, but hes just like the others. Nobody but me can see its just bullshit. He closed his eyes, held them shut for a few moments. When he opened them, they were bright with wetness. And so there it is. Catalinas dead. Thats what Im supposed to believe, too. But I cant. I just cant. So I wont talk about her as if she were. Everyone else can play that game. Not me. He put the coffee down on the table. You were kind to help me. But its no good. Im just going to keep drinking. Im going to drink until I cant think about anything any more. Except another drink.
I cant stop you, Ben said. But youre going to have to get off your arse and pour it yourself.
Raul looked at him. Some friend you are.
Im not your friend, Raul.
Ben looked at Raul and felt the depth of his pain. But Ben also sensed he was in danger of getting drawn in. There was an untold story here, and he didnt want to hear it.
He drank the last of his coffee and stood up. Im sorry your life turned to shit. Im sorry your girlfriend died.
Raul Fuentes raised his head from his knees and slowly turned to look at Ben. The muscles in his face looked tight enough to snap.
Not my girlfriend. My sister. Shes my twin sister. Dont you get it? Thats how I know theyre wrong.
Chapter Three
Ben felt a brothers grief hit him like a fist to the face. He went silent. Glanced again at the womans picture over the desk, and now he could see it. The similarity in the eyes, the nose, the cheekbones. The same fine, lean Latin features. He looked back at Raul, feeling suddenly torn between walking away and staying to hear more.
My sister did not kill herself, Raul said, with as much absolute rock-solid unflinching certainty as Ben had ever heard in a persons voice. My sister is alive.
Ben made no reply. He hesitated, then sat down again. It was the least he could do for the guy to listen.
Theyre saying she drove her car off a cliff into the ocean, Raul said. Just let it roll right off the edge. They say it was suicide.
Ben could imagine it. The beautiful dark-haired young woman in the picture sitting at the wheel. Her face strained with terror and resolution as she let off the handbrake and let herself trundle towards oblivion. The car falling into space, plummeting down to smash itself to pieces as that fragile body inside it was pummelled and broken. He pictured torn metal and shattered plastic and bloodied glass. But something about the picture was wrong. Something Raul didnt believe. Ben remained silent for a moment longer before he said, Are you going to tell me there was no body inside the car when they found it?
Rauls eyes brightened visibly, the way a prisoners on death row light up when they tell him about the last-minute stay of execution thats just been granted. Exactly. All they pulled out of the water was an empty car. What does that tell you?
Rauls eyes brightened visibly, the way a prisoners on death row light up when they tell him about the last-minute stay of execution thats just been granted. Exactly. All they pulled out of the water was an empty car. What does that tell you?
It tells me the body could have been flung free of the car, Raul. He hated dashing the guys hopes like that. But better to face reality than to be tormented by wishful fantasy for the rest of your life.
Raul flinched as if Ben had pulled a gun on him. How would you know? How can you assert something like that?
Ben wished hed said nothing at all. The thing hed wanted to avoid was happening. He was getting sucked in. Tell me where this happened, Raul.
Raul calmed a little and replied, Germany. Catalina moved there, for her work. Shes a scientist. Well, kind of a bit more than that.
Still resisting speaking about his sister in the past tense, Ben noticed.
I know this is hard, Raul. But did Catalina have any reason to harm herself?
Why should she? Shes successful, shes achieved all she ever wanted and more. Shes a happy person.
People can look happy on the outside, Ben said.
While inside they suffer such torment that they want to end it all. I get it. I know. But I know my sister, dont you see? I know her better than anyone in the world and I know she wouldnt have killed herself. Shes a happy person. She has everything to live for. When she walks into a room, she fills it up with laughter and smiles. People love her.
An accident, then, Ben said.
You think I havent thought about that? Okay, lets say she accidentally drove to the edge of the cliff and then accidentally forgot to stop, and the car went over. Same story. Theres the car, but wheres she?
Ben could have told him there were a hundred ways for a corpse to vanish at sea. The tides could draw it miles out, where it would eventually sink to the bottom before the bacteria inside the gut and chest cavity would start to produce enough methane, hydrogen sulphide and carbon dioxide to float it back up to the surface. That process could take days, during which time the cadaver would become an ever more appetising meal to the numerous species of shark and other carnivorous fish that frequented those waters. Such details were best left unmentioned under the circumstances, so he kept his mouth shut.
I mean, Raul went on, its been nearly three months. A body would surely have turned up by now.
Ben looked at him, surprised. Three months? I thought this must have only just happened.
Raul sank back deep into the cushions of the sofa, as if suddenly deflated. It was July sixteenth. Eighty-three days ago. A place called Rügen Island. She apparently drove for hours to get there from her home in Munich. She He closed his eyes for a moment, as if it was too painful to say more. The German police closed the case not long afterwards. There was all kinds of bureaucratic bullshit. My parents, they flew out there. Neither of them had ever been on a plane before. Never even left Valdepeñas de Jaén until then.
Did you go with them?
Raul shook his head sadly. Couldnt bring myself to go. I felt like a dog about it then and I still do. I just couldnt deal with it. Had to let them go alone. They were there for five days. My father, he looked like a little old man when they got back, with nothing to show but a wad of police reports. Three more weeks went by, still no body. Cant have a funeral without a body, right? So they had a service for her at the church in Valdepeñas de Jaén. Now they wont even speak to me, because I wouldnt attend it. They think its like I dont care. Like I cut myself away from the whole thing, and from them.
They might have needed your support at a time like that, Ben said.
Raul turned the red-rimmed eyes back on Ben. Yes, and thats something else for me to feel like shit about, isnt it? But I didnt want to be there, because to be there would have been like accepting that Catalina was dead. How could I go through the motions of a phony funeral when I was completely certain that my sister was still alive? Theyd all given up on her; I hadnt. As they were all gathering to mourn her, I was searching the internet for someone who could help me. Thats when I found Klein.
You mentioned him before. Who is he?
A former police detective whos supposedly the best private investigator in Germany. Certainly the most expensive. I hired him to find out what the police couldnt.
And did he?
Raul sighed. He dug in his jeans pocket and came out with a rumpled, folded envelope that he handed to Ben. This came two days ago.
The postmark on the envelope, stamped MÜNCHEN FREISTAAT BAYERN, was five days old. Ben took out the letter and unfolded it. The letterhead on the single sheet said LEONHARD KLEIN, DETEKTEI NACHRICHTEN, with an address in Munich, email contact and web address. The rest of the letter was written in English. It was brief, stilted and to the point, expressing the investigators professional opinion that, despite the absence of a body, after extensive researches he had been able to uncover no evidence to disprove the tragic and unavoidable fact that Ms Fuentes was, in fact, deceased as the official reports stated. He was willing to continue working on the case, although he was ethically and professionally bound to instruct his client that such a course of action was inadvisable and that any further investigation was futile at this stage and would only represent a further waste of his time and the clients money, etc., etc. The letter signed off with a couple of short lines of stiff-sounding condolences.
Ben folded it, replaced it in the envelope and handed it back without a word. He understood now that the letter was what had sharpened the torture of what Raul was going through, and made him want to dive inside a bottle.
Its garbage, Raul said. With a sudden flash of anger, he tore the letter apart and hurled the pieces away. So much for the great detective. There goes five thousand euros cash, for nothing.
Should have put it on your credit card, Ben said. Pay it off month by month.
I dont have a credit card. I come from a simple family, where we were taught old-fashioned values. I pay cash for things whenever I can, and if I cant afford something, then I dont have it. That five thousand was most of the savings I had.
Ben didnt know what to say. He stood, paused for a long time and chose his words carefully.
Im very sorry for what youre going through, Raul. But I think youre just going to have to accept that your sisters dead.