Look, come into the kitchen and Ill clean you up with warm water and lint while you tell me all about it, she said soothingly.
The lint sounded very Gone With the Wind but then, she has all the Girl Guide badges and I dont suppose the First Aid one has changed for years. So I followed her in and sank down on the nearest rush-bottomed chair, my legs suddenly going wobbly. Trinity (Trinny, for short), Annies three-legged mutt, regarded me lambently from her basket, tail thumping.
Theres nothing much to tell, really, I said. Tom flew into one of his rages and lobbed his dinner at the wall.
Oh, Lizzy!
I said something that made him angry and he just totally lost it this time. I dont think he was actually aiming at me, though its hard to tell since hes such a rotten shot and ouch! I added, as she dabbed my face with the warm, damp lint.
The skin isnt cut, but I think you might get a bruise on your cheek, she said, wringing the cloth out. I could put some arnica ointment on it.
I dont think I could live with that smell so close to my nose, Annie, I said dubiously, but her next suggestion, that we break out the bottle of Remy Martin, which she keeps in stock because her father always swore by it in times of crisis, met with a better reception.
I dont think I could live with that smell so close to my nose, Annie, I said dubiously, but her next suggestion, that we break out the bottle of Remy Martin, which she keeps in stock because her father always swore by it in times of crisis, met with a better reception.
I think you really ought to leave Tom right away, Lizzy, Annie suggested worriedly. Hes been so increasingly horrible to you that its practically verbal abuse and now this!
Im just glad Jasper wasnt there, I said, topping my glass up and feeling much better. Hes gone straight from the archaeological dig to a friends house, and wont be back till about ten.
His exam results should be here any time now, shouldnt they?
Yes, only a couple more days. I sipped my brandy and sighed. Even though Ill miss him, itll be such a relief to have him safely off to university in October, because I live in dread that Tom will suddenly tell him to his face that he doesnt think hes really his son. That would be even more hurtful than ignoring him, the way hes been doing the last couple of years.
I dont know whats got into Tom, Annie said sadly. He always had so much charm as long as he got his own way.
He still does charm everyone else. Im sure no one would believe me if I told them what hes really like at home.
True, but hes so used to me being around, hes let the mask slip sometimes, so Ive seen it for myself, Annie said. He was all right with Jasper for the first few years, though, wasnt he?
Well, he didnt take a lot of notice of him, but he was OK. But he started to turn colder towards me even before he got this strange idea that I had a fling with Nick, so I think whoever hes been having an affair with since then has had a really bad effect on his character.
You did have a fling with Nick, Annie pointed out fairly.
Oh, come on, Annie! I was way too young and anyway, it only lasted about a fortnight before he told me he was going abroad for a year because he wasnt changing his life-plans for my sake. I didnt see him after that until the day I got married to Tom and he turned up then with Leila in tow do you remember?
Gosh, yes. She was so scarily chic, in a Parisian sort of way, that she made me feel like a country bumpkin she still does! But I thought it was nice of Nick to make the effort, even though he and Tom had grown apart over the years. They never had a lot in common, did they?
I think the main problem was that Tom always felt jealous of Nick, since Nick was a real Pharamond and Rolys grandson, whereas he was just a Pharamond because his mother had married one. Allegedly, I added darkly.
Its odd how things turn out, mused Annie, putting away the bowl of water and tossing the lint into the kitchen bin. You always had much more in common with Nick than with Tom.
How on earth can you say that, when we argue all the time? I demanded incredulously. The only thing Nick and I have ever had in common is a love of food, even if mine is much less cordon bleu.
Though of course it is true that food has played an important part in both our families. The search for a good meal in the wrong part of a foreign city was the downfall of my diplomat parents and would be the downfall of my figure, too, were I ever to stop moving long enough for the fat to settle.
As to the Pharamonds, the gene for cooking was introduced into the family by a Victorian heir who married the plebeian but wealthy heiress Bessie Martin, only to die of a surfeit of home-cooked love some forty years later, with a fond smile on his lips and a biscuit empire to hand on to his offspring.
You and Nick have both got short tempers and you love Middlemoss more than anywhere else on earth, Annie said. And of course I know that Jasper is Toms son, but its unfortunate that hes looking more and more like Nick with every passing year.
Well, yes, thats what Tom said earlier, so I reminded him about the rumours that his mother had an affair with Leo Pharamond before her first husband was killed, and thats what started the argument off! He always flies into a complete rage if I say anything against his sainted mother.
Its quite a coincidence that Leo Pharamond and her first husband were both not only racing drivers but killed in car crashes, Annie said, though there did seem to be a lot of fatal crashes in the early days.
Someone told me they called her the Black Widow after Leo died, so its not surprising her third husband gave it up and whisked her off back to Argentina, I said.
Toms mother had started a whole new life out there, but her firstborn was packed off to boarding school and farmed out at Pharamond Hall in the holidays. That made us both orphans in a way, which had once seemed to make a bond
Annie said, Toms hardly seen his mother over the years, has he?
No, or his half-siblings. He blames it all on his stepfather, of course, and wont hear a word against her. Come to that, Ive only met her a couple of times and we cant be said to have bonded.
Youd think shed at least be interested in her grandson Jaspers such a lovely boy, Annie said fondly.
I used to send her his school photos, but since I never got any response, I gave up. In fact, with all this rejection, its wonderful that poor Jasper isnt bitter and twisted, too!
Oh, hes much too sensible and he knows we all love him: me, Roly, even Mimi.
I considered Unks unmarried sister, Mimi, who is not at all maternal and whose passions are reserved for the walled garden she tends behind the Hall. Youre right, she does seem to like him, despite his not being any form of plant life.
And Nick is fond of him Jasper and he get on well.
He only really sees him during our occasional Sunday lunch up at the Hall, when were all on our best behaviour for Rolys sake, because Toms made it abundantly clear he isnt welcome at Perseverance Cottage.
How difficult it all is! Annie sighed, which was the under-statement of the year. I always agreed with Mum and Dad that marriage should be for ever, but once Tom started having affairs and being really nasty to you and Jasper, I changed my mind. Hes not at all the man you married.
Oh, I dont know, I reflected. I think perhaps he is, its just that his true nature was hidden underneath all that charm. His sarcastic tongue has suddenly become a lot more vicious, though, which I expect is because he really wants me out of the cottage now, but I mean to try and stick to my original plan and hang on until Ive got Jasper settled at university. It doesnt do a lot for my self-confidence when Toms constantly belittling me and telling me how useless I am, though.
Youre not useless, she said, youve been practically self-sufficient for years in fruit, vegetables and eggs, made a lovely home for him and Jasper, and written all those wonderful books.
I dont actually get paid very much for the Chronicles theyre a bit of a niche market and Im running late with the next, what with one thing and another.
I suppose its hard to think up funny anecdotes to go between the recipes and gardening stuff, what with all the worry about Tom. But if you want to leave him right now, you know you and Jasper can move in here any time you like, and stay as long as you want, she offered generously.
I suppose its hard to think up funny anecdotes to go between the recipes and gardening stuff, what with all the worry about Tom. But if you want to leave him right now, you know you and Jasper can move in here any time you like, and stay as long as you want, she offered generously.
I do know, and its very kind of you, I said gratefully, not pointing out that her cottage isnt much bigger than a dolls house: two tiny rooms up and down, crammed so full of bric-a-brac you can hardly expand your lungs to full capacity without nudging something over. Jasper, when he visits, tends to stand in the corner with his arms folded so as not to damage anything.
Once Jasper is at university I might have to take you up on that offer, but very temporarily. Ill still need to make a home for him to come back to. Ill have to get a job stacking supermarket shelves, so I can rent somewhere. Im not really qualified to do anything else.
Then what about Posh Pet-sitters? Business is expanding hugely since I added general pet-feeding and care to the dog-walking, and I could do with an assistant.
Annie set up Posh Pet-sitters several years ago with a loan from her parents, and business seemed to be building up nicely, due to the patronage of several of the actors from the long-running drama Cotton Common, set in a turn-of-the-century Lancashire factory town, who have suddenly discovered the three villages that comprise the Mosses.
Where they led, other minor celebrities followed, since although off the beaten track, were within commuting distance of Manchester, Leeds, Liverpool and the M6, and in pretty countryside just where the last beacon-topped hills slowly subside into the fertile farmland that runs west to the coast.