Ill change it, he offered. Or I can cycle over.
No, Ill have it done by the time youve had breakfast, and youll be late otherwise.
The medieval dig he was working at was only a few miles away, but the lanes between the site and us were narrow and twisty, so I worried about his safety. Annie calls it mother hen with one chick syndrome, but she is just as dotty about Trinity, her rescued dog. And if I hadnt been an anxious mother, then maybe I wouldnt have demanded the right treatment for Jaspers meningitis that time he was rushed into hospital, even before the tests came back positive It didnt bear thinking about.
Jasper wandered out again a few minutes later holding a piece of toast at least an inch thick, not counting the bramble jelly and butter, removed the wheel brace from my hand (giving me the toast to hold in exchange), and unscrewed the last nut.
Thanks, that was stiff. Youd think if Id tightened it up in the first place, Id be able to undo it easily, wouldnt you?
Dad not back yet? Jasper asked, glancing across at the large, ramshackle wooden shed Tom used as his workshop, with the Board Rigid: Customised Surfboards sign over it.
No.
Well, remember that time you asked him to go and buy a couple of pints of milk, and you didnt hear from him for a week? he said, clearly with the intention of comforting me should I need it. But actually, I was sure he shared my feeling that his fathers increasing number of absences were a blessing, even though I was usually the one on the receiving end of Toms viciously sarcastic outbursts.
He couldnt help but have noticed the way Tom had estranged himself from both of us, behaving more like a lodger than a husband and father.
Just let me get him safely off to university in October, then I can sort my life out somehow, I prayed silently.
Jasper said nothing more, but retrieved his toast and went back into the house.
The first golden glow of the morning was fading, much as my love for Tom had quickly vanished once Id grasped what kind of man Id married: the mercurial type, an erratic moon orbiting my Mother Earth solidity. For years Id thought that deep down he loved and needed me, and hed always managed to sweet-talk me into forgiving him for anything and everything, although my exasperation levels had slowly risen as my son matured and my husband remained as irresponsible as ever. Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be married to Peter Pan once the novelty wore off? A Peter Pan with a dark side he kept just for me like a sweet chocolate soufflé with something hard at its centre on which you could break your teeth or your heart.
His cousin Nick, whose Mercedes sports car was slowly bumping down the rutted track towards me, scattering hens, wasnt any kind of soufflé more like one of his own devilishly hot curried dishes. He does cook like an angel, though, and hes an expert on all aspects of food and cooking, writes books and articles and has a page in a Sunday newspaper colour supplement.
The Pharamonds didnt seem to do marriage terribly well and hed had a volatile, semidetached relationship with Leila for years. Shes another chef, which was at least one too many cooks on the home front, by my reckoning. I was glad to see she wasnt with him that day, because Leila is a lemon tart. Or maybe, since shes French, that should be tarte au citron?
Miaou.
I resolved not to be catty about her, even if every time we met she contrived to make me feel like a lumbering great carthorse. Shes an immaculately chic, petite, blue-eyed blonde, while I am tall and broad-shouldered, with green eyes flecked with hazel, fine light brown hair in a permanent tangle, and the sort of manicure you get from digging vegetable beds without gloves on.
Unks Great-uncle Roly didnt like her either. He said if it werent for her refusing to stop working all hours in her restaurant in London and settle down, there would have been lots of little Pharamond heirs by then. But he couldnt have thought this through properly, because if they were a combination of the scarier bits of Nick and Leila, that would be quite alarming indeed.
Leila was married before and was fiercely independent, with her own swish apartment above her restaurant; while Nick had a small flat in Camden. And considering he spent at least half his time at Pharamond Hall, which Leila rarely visited, youd wonder when they ever saw each other.
I certainly hadnt seen Nick for ages. He always phoned up for any eggs, fruit or vegetables he needed when staying at the Hall and working on recipes, but I just dropped them off with Unks cook, Mrs Gumball.
Yet here he was, deigning to pay me a visit. As his Mercedes pulled up I removed the jack and then slung the punctured tyre in the back of the car, where Jaspers bike already reposed. You can get anything in a 2CV, if you dont mind being exposed to the weather.
Nick got out. He was wearing dark trousers and an open-necked soft white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, the glossy, thick black plumage of his hair spikily feathering his head. His strong face, with its impressively bumpy nose, can look very attractive when he smiles, though the last time hed wasted any of his charm on me was in the hospital when Jasper had meningitis. And after the way Id bared my soul to him in the night hours, I could only feel profoundly grateful that I hadnt seen much of him since then.
I distinctly remember telling him how I hoped that once Jasper was at university, things would get better between me and Tom and instead, from that very moment theyd rapidly got worse and worse
I became aware that Nick was waving his hands slowly in front of my face, like a baffled stage hypnotist.
Planet Earth to Lizzy: are you receiving me?
Oh, hi, Nick long time, no recipe, I said, wiping my filthy hands up the sides of my jeans they were work ones, so it wasnt going to make a lot of difference. I only hoped I hadnt run them through my hair first, though since I didnt remember brushing it this morning, a bit of grease would at least hold the tangles down.
He frowned down at me. I sent you a card from Jamaica.
That was ages ago, and a recipe for conch fritters isnt exactly the most useful thing to have in the middle of Lancashire the fishmongers dont stock them. Anyway, what are you doing here at this time of the morning? Have you driven straight up from London?
Yes, Im looking for Tom, he said shortly, checking me over with eyes the dark grey-purple of wet Welsh slate, as though he wasnt sure quite what species I was, or what sauce to serve me with. What have you done to your face?
I flushed and touched the bruise on my cheek with the tips of my fingers. This? Oh, a plate got dropped and one of the pieces bounced up and hit me, I said lamely; it was almost the truth.
His brows knitted into a thick, black bar as he tried to imagine a plate that explosive.
It looks worse than it is, now its gone all blue and yellow itll have vanished in a day or two. And Toms away, I added. Thank goodness!
From the way Nick was looking at me I thought Id said that aloud for a minute, but finally he asked, Oh? Any idea when hell be back?
No, but hes been gone since Monday, so Ill be surprised if he doesnt turn up today.
He raised one dark eyebrow. And do you know where hes gone?
He didnt say and there is no point in ringing his mobile because he never answers or gets back to me. I shrugged, casually. You know what hes like. He might be off delivering a surfboard. Im pretty sure hes not doing a gig with the Mummers, they dont usually go that far from home.
A gig with the what?
The Mummers of Invention: you know, that sort of folk-rock group he started with three local friends?
No, he said shortly. Im glad to say I dont.
You must do because one of thems that drippy female Unks rents an estate cottage to she sells handmade smocks at historical re-enactment fairs. And if you ever came up for the Mystery Play any more, you would have seen them they provide the musical interludes. Tom played Lazarus as well, last year. He stepped in at the last minute and the parish magazine review said he brought a whole new meaning to the role.
I can imagine and I do intend being here for the next performance.
I thought Leila couldnt leave her restaurant over Christmas?
She cant; I can, he snapped, and I wondered if their marriage was finally dragging its sorry carcass to the parting of the ways, like mine. So, youve no idea where Tom is, or when hell be back?
Probably Cornwall, thats where he mostly ends up, and if so, hes likely to be staying with that friend of his Tom Collinge, the weird one who runs a wife and harem in one cottage.
I suppose he may be there by now, but he was in London on Monday night, Lizzy. I ran into him at Leilas restaurant, but he left in a hurry without paying the bill.
He did? I frowned. Thats odd. I wonder what he was doing in London?
Well, it evidently wasnt me hed gone to see, since he bolted as soon as I arrived. He looked at me intently, as though hed asked me a question.
Oh? I said slowly, trying to remember whether Tom had actually ever said which of his friends he stayed with when he was in London.
Still, you know Tom, I tried to laugh. He probably just found himself near the restaurant and dropped in.
Then just took it into his head to shoot off without paying when I turned up unexpectedly? Leila said she didnt want to charge him for the meal anyway, since hes a sort of relative.
Thats kind of her, I said, amazed, because it wouldnt surprise me if she gives even Nick a bill when he eats there!
Yes, wasnt it just? he said drily. And one of the staff let slip that hed stayed in her apartment the previous night, too the staff seemed to know him pretty well. But I told Leila, business is business and shed never let sentiment of any kind come before making money before, so I would just drop the bill in on my way up to the Hall. Here it is.
Still, you know Tom, I tried to laugh. He probably just found himself near the restaurant and dropped in.
Then just took it into his head to shoot off without paying when I turned up unexpectedly? Leila said she didnt want to charge him for the meal anyway, since hes a sort of relative.
Thats kind of her, I said, amazed, because it wouldnt surprise me if she gives even Nick a bill when he eats there!
Yes, wasnt it just? he said drily. And one of the staff let slip that hed stayed in her apartment the previous night, too the staff seemed to know him pretty well. But I told Leila, business is business and shed never let sentiment of any kind come before making money before, so I would just drop the bill in on my way up to the Hall. Here it is.