Interesting, Ben said.
And more than a little mysterious, Michaela added wryly. He never stopped prattling on about his first two books while he was working on them. I could almost have written them myself, he told me so much. But this one lets just say hes being extremely secretive. Hes taken to locking his study door when hes not around. Even bought a safe to keep his notes in. And that time he accidentally left the printout lying around, he burned it afterwards. I dont think hes printed off a page of it since.
Maybe he thinks hes onto a hot bestseller, Ben said.
Its not just the book. He spends hours on the phone to people all over the world, then refuses to tell me what it was about. Even when he went to America to meet some expert he wouldnt tell me why, or who the man was, not even his name. I think it was him who phoned last night, in the wee small hours. I didnt bother asking Simeon about it this morning, although he seemed very preoccupied and I can only assume it was to do with the phone call. Oh, I dont know. Maybe hell tell me one day, when hes ready to.
Michaela went quiet and looked pensive for a while as they finished clearing up. She glanced out of the window and forced a smile. Shame to be stuck indoors when its a lovely day outside. Would you like to go for a walk?
Ben said he would love to. They stepped out into the crisp sunny winters morning and walked down the long, sloping garden with Scruffy running rings around them, a stick in his mouth. Ben was wearing a pair of Simeons wellingtons that crunched on the frosty grass.
Isnt the air wonderful? Michaela said. Maybe were in for a nice, cold, dry spell, after all the rain weve had. Im praying for a white Christmas.
That would be nice, Ben said, a little insincerely. Snow mainly just meant a big clearing headache for him.
A gate at the bottom of the garden led to a little patch of woods. Crows cawed in the cold air. The sunlight sparkled on the fast-flowing river through the gaps in the trees.
Ben pointed at the dog, who was running on ahead of them with a world of rabbits to flush out and chase. I like him.
Michaela seemed pleased. Hes a real character, isnt he? Turned up here out of the blue, about a year ago. No telling where he came from or who his former owners were. We took him in. I think hes about three or four. I love him to bits.
That would be nice, Ben said, a little insincerely. Snow mainly just meant a big clearing headache for him.
A gate at the bottom of the garden led to a little patch of woods. Crows cawed in the cold air. The sunlight sparkled on the fast-flowing river through the gaps in the trees.
Ben pointed at the dog, who was running on ahead of them with a world of rabbits to flush out and chase. I like him.
Michaela seemed pleased. Hes a real character, isnt he? Turned up here out of the blue, about a year ago. No telling where he came from or who his former owners were. We took him in. I think hes about three or four. I love him to bits.
Michaela threw the stick for the dog a few times, and Ben watched her, noticing the way that her look of contentment had faded to a frown as they walked on.
You know, Im really worried about Simeon, she said suddenly. Hes got so much on his mind, and sometimes Im afraid hes going to burn himself out or make himself ill. He works far too hard, and what with all the quarrelling between him and Jude, not to mention this awful business with Fabrice Lalique
The man who committed suicide?
She nodded. He was a Catholic priest. Simeon met him a couple of years ago in France while visiting a church restoration project, and they became friends. She shook her head. I still cant believe it. What a shock. And the worst of it are the revelations that came afterwards.
Revelations?
A day or two after his death, his home was raided by police, acting on a tip-off. They seized his computer and found how can I put it? Michaela paused uncomfortably. Certain material. Very unpleasant and explicit material. Pictures of children. You can guess what kind of pictures Im talking about.
I can guess, Ben said, with a stab of revulsion.
It was the reason he killed himself, Michaela said. Out of guilt, or shame, or perhaps just because he knew what would happen if he was caught. Before he did it, he sent an email to everyone he knew, confessing his sins and asking for forgiveness. Then he threw himself off the highest bridge in France.
Thatll certainly do it, Ben said, without the least trace of pity in his voice.
Michaela turned towards him, shading her eyes from the low sun with her hand. Do you think its possible to forgive someone for something so horrible, even if theyve repented? I struggle with that, I have to admit.
Ben paused. He thought of paedophiles hed blown away at point-blank range with a shotgun. Come to think of it, hed never stopped to ask them if theyd repented. With a sawn-off pointed at them, they probably would have dropped to their knees and started chanting the Lords Prayer if theyd thought it could help. It probably wouldnt have.
Did you know this Lalique well? he asked her.
Never met him. Simeon was in touch with him a lot over the last year or so, something to do with the book, I think. I dont really know. She tried to smile. Lets not talk about this any more. Its so good to see you again, Ben. Isnt it strange, the two of us walking along together, after all these years?
Its certainly been a long time, he said.
We were so young then, werent we?
Nineteen.
She chuckled. You were wild then.
Memories of college days flashed through Bens mind. Most of them were unwanted: hazy and unpleasant recollections of drinking and recklessness. Picking, then winning fights with town toughs in pubs. Throwing a TV from a window. Skipping classes, generally acting crazy. A lot of things hed done that hed rather forget.
That was a difficult time, he said.
You never talked about your troubles.
He still didnt talk about them now. Im sorry if I hurt you, he said.
I really loved you, she answered after a beat, glancing at him. But I knew you didnt feel the same way about me. How long did we last together? Seven weeks? Six? If that?
You ended up with a much better man.
Michaela made no reply. They walked on a while through the trees, dead leaves crunching underfoot, the dog racing on ahead of them. I remember the first time I took you to meet my parents, Michaela said after a few moments silence.
The one and only time, Ben said, casting his mind far back to a hot summers afternoon in Surrey. The posh garden party.
Michaela chuckled. They still talk about it. You completely scandalised everyone. You must have drunk a gallon of whisky that day. And that was even before youd started arguing politics with my father.
Ben rolled his eyes, wishing shed stop it. Please.
As for my cousin Eddie, I think you traumatised him for life.
Ben hadnt forgotten that one either. The instant dislike hed taken to Eddie had been shared by Michaelas Pekingese, Hamlet. Nobody but Ben had seen Eddie slip Hamlet a sly kick to the head when he thought no-one was watching. Moments later, Eddie had been taking an unplanned nose-dive, fully clothed, into the deep end of the swimming pool in front of eighty guests. The real fun began when it transpired that Eddie couldnt swim. Four more guests had suffered a dunking before Eddie could be rescued. At that point, the party had been more or less ruined.
You dumped me soon afterwards, Ben said.
I was awful to you.
No, you were right. I was bad medicine. Im sure your family approved of Simeon slightly more than they did me.
Mum and Dad positively idolise him. But we dont see so much of them now that theyve moved to Antigua. Couldnt stand the British weather any more. She started laughing.
Whats funny?
I just remembered another time. That night in Oxford when you took on that gang of bikers up Cowley Road? Lord, there must have been eight of them. I can still recall how they scattered in all directions.
Ben remembered. It had been more like ten. He and Michaela had been walking past when one of them had made a lewd comment about her. Are you done tormenting me? he said.
They walked up a grassy slope to higher ground, where the winding country road to Little Denton was visible through the line of naked beech trees that skirted the meadow.
So after Oxford you just upped and joined the army? Michaela asked.
Pretty much, Ben said. Thirteen years service.
Has there been anyone since Leigh?
Yes, he ventured. There is someone. Or was. I dont have much talent in that department. Perhaps its fate or something.
Dont be silly, she said. Touched his arm. Youre a better man than you realise, Ben Hope. You always were.
Sometimes Ive thought that I went off in completely the wrong direction, Ben confessed. When I look at Simeon, and the life the two of you have here
Youd have been great in the church. Once youd settled down a bit.
Theres the rub, he laughed.
Its never too late.
I already tried once, a while back. To go back and finish my studies.
Really?
It didnt work out, he said. He didnt want to say any more, and decided to change the subject radically. Its a shame I wont get to meet your son Jude.
Michaela shrugged. Some other time, Im sure you will.
Was it a very serious quarrel? Between him and Simeon?
I suppose its just typical family stuff, she said. Jude would rebel against his own shadow. Always full of his own ideas about what he wants to do with his life. Itll all come right in the end, Im sure. Oh, I think I hear the car.
Ben had heard it too, and spotted the sleek crimson shape of the Lotus darting along beyond the trees in the distance, returning home.
Lets walk up to the house and meet him, Michaela said.
Back at the vicarage, Ben thought that Simeon looked even more grim and strained than the night before, although he was obviously struggling hard not to show it as he sipped his coffee and gave Ben the rundown on that mornings radio interview on the topic Is there still room for Jesus in the Facebook Age?
My secret admirer popped up again during the phone-in at the end, Simeon said to Michaela. As charming as ever. Called me a filthy cockroach and said Id rot with all the others.