At first, Miss Billingham missed the allusion; the poorly suppressed grins of the other young ladies finally brought Sophies words home. Slowly, Miss Billinghams sallow complexion turned beet-red, an unhappy sight. She opened her mouth, casting a glance around for support. As she found none, her colour deepened. With a few muted words, she excused herself to return to the safer precincts close by her mother, a woman of battleship proportions.
Dont pay any attention to her, Miss Chessington advised as their little circle closed comfortably about Sophie. Shes just furious Jack Lester paid her no heed whatever last year. Set her cap at him, and fell flat on her face.
Valiantly, Sophie struggled to return Miss Chessingtons bright smile. Indeed. But what of your hopes? Do you have anyone in your sights?
Belle Chessington grinned hugely. Heavens, no! Im determined to enjoy myself. All that bother about a husband can come later.
Reflecting that, a few months ago, she, too, would have been as carefree, Sophie dragged her thoughts away from what had focused her mind on marriage. She clung to Miss Chessingtons buoyant spirits until it was time to depart.
Once enveloped in the quiet of her aunts carriage, cool reason returned to hold back the misery that threatened to engulf her. Sophie closed her eyes and laid her head back on the squabs.
Arent you feeling quite the thing, my dear?
Lucillas calm voice interrupted Sophies thoughts. Sophie tried to smile, but the result was more like a grimace. Just a slight headache. I found Mrs. Morgan-Stanleys drawing-room a trifle close. It was the best she could do. To her relief, her aunt seemed to accept the weak excuse.
Lucillas calm voice interrupted Sophies thoughts. Sophie tried to smile, but the result was more like a grimace. Just a slight headache. I found Mrs. Morgan-Stanleys drawing-room a trifle close. It was the best she could do. To her relief, her aunt seemed to accept the weak excuse.
Lucilla reached over and patted her hand. Well, do take care. I hope youll both remember that one never appears to advantage while a martyr to ill health. After a moment, Lucilla mused, I dont think our schedule is overly full, but if you do feel the need, you must both promise me youll rest.
Together with Clarissa, Sophie murmured her reassurances.
As the carriage rolled steadily onward, she kept her eyes closed, hiding her frown. Despite her often outrageous machinations, Lucilla was ever supportive, always protective. If Jack Lester was, indeed, totally ineligible as a suitor for her hand-or, more specifically, if, as a mere lady of expectations, she was ineligible to be his bride, then Lucilla would not have allowed him to draw so close. Her aunt was as clever as she could hold together. Surely she could trust in Lucillas perspicacity?
Perhaps Miss Billingham had it wrong?
That possibility allowed Sophie to meet the rest of her day with equanimity, if not outright enthusiasm. Until the evening, when Lady Orvilles little musical gathering brought an end to all hope.
It was, most incongruously, old Lady Matcham who squashed the bubble of her happiness flat. A tiny little woman, white-haired and silver-eyed with age, her ladyship was a kindly soul who would never, Sophie knew, intentionally cause anyone harm.
I know you wont mind me mentioning this, Sophia, my dear. You know how very close I was to your mother-well, she was almost a daughter to me, you know. So sad, her going. The old eyes filled with tears. Lady Matcham dabbed them away with a lace-edged handkerchief. Silly of me, of course. She smiled with determined brightness up at Sophie, sitting beside her on a chaise along the back wall of the music room.
Before them, the very select few whom Lady Orville had invited to air their musical abilities along with her two daughters were entertaining the gathering, seated in rows of little chairs before the pianoforte. Now, to the sound of polite applause, Miss Chessington took her seat at the instrument and laid her hands upon the keys.
Expecting a comment on the colour of her ribbons, or something in similar vein, Sophie smiled reassuringly at Lady Matcham, returning the squeeze of one birdlike claw.
But thats why I feel I have to say something, Sophia, Lady Matcham continued. For I would not rest easy thinking you had got hurt when I could have prevented it.
An icy hand closed about Sophies heart, all expression leached from her face. Numb, paralyzed, she gazed blankly at Lady Matcham.
I must say, her ladyship went on, her washed-out eyes widening. I had thought Lucilla would have warned you but, no doubt, having only just returned to the capital, shes not yet up with the latest.
The chill creeping through Sophie had reached her mind; she couldnt think how to interrupt. She didnt want to hear any more, but her ladyship pressed on, her soft, gentle, undeniably earnest tones a death-knell to all hope.
Its about Mr. Lester, my dear. Such a handsome man-quite the gentleman and so very well-connected. But he needs a rich wife. A very rich wife. I know, for I am acquainted with his aunt, dear soul-shes passed on now. But it was always understood the Lester boys would have to marry money, as the saying goes. Lady Matchams sweet face grimaced with distaste. Such a disheartening thought.
Sophie could only agree. Her heart was a painful lump in her breast; her features felt frozen. She couldnt speak; she could only gaze blankly as Lady Matcham lifted her wise old eyes to her face.
Lady Matcham patted her hand. I saw you in the Park, in his curricle. And I just had to say something, my dear, for it really wont do. I dare say hes everything a gal like you might wish for. But indeed, Sophia dear, hes not for you.
Sophie blinked rapidly and sucked in a quick breath. Her heart was aching; all of her hurt. But she could not give way to her pain in the middle of Miss Chessingtons sonata. Sophie swallowed; with an effort, she summoned a weak smile. Thank you for the warning, maam. She couldnt trust herself to say more.
Her ladyship patted her hand, blinking herself. There, there. Its not the end of the world, although I know it may feel that way. Such unfortunate happenings are best nipped in the bud-before any lasting damage can be done. I know youre too wise, my dear, not to know that-and to know how to go on. Why, youve all the Season before you. Plenty of opportunity to find a gentleman who suits you.
Sophie would have given the earth to deny it, all of it, but nothing could gainsay the sincerity in Lady Matchams old eyes. With a wavering smile, Sophie gave the old lady a brief hug, then, with a mute nod, rose. Dragging in a steadying breath, she drifted to a corner of the room.
By dint of sheer will-power, she did not allow herself to dwell on Lady Matchams revelations until, together with her aunt and Clarissa, she was enclosed in the protective shadows of the carriage and bound for home.
Then misery engulfed her, tinged with black despair.
As they alighted in Mount Street, the light from a street flare fell full on her face. Lucilla glanced around; her eyes narrowed. Sophie, you will lie in tomorrow. I will not have you coming down with any ailment at this time of year.
Fleetingly, Sophie met her aunts gaze, sharp and concerned. Yes, Aunt, she acquiesced, meekly looking down. Ignoring Clarissas concerned and questioning glance, Sophie followed her aunt up the steps.
THE NEXT DAY dawned but brought with it no relief. From behind the lace curtain at her bedchamber window, Sophie watched as Jack Lester descended the steps to the street. He climbed up into his waiting curricle and, as his groom scrambled up behind, deftly flicked his whip and drove away. Sophie watched until he disappeared around the corner, then, heaving a heavy sigh, turned back into the room.
He had called to take her for a drive, only to be met with the news of her indisposition.
Sophie sniffed. Aimless, she drifted across the room towards her bed, her sodden handkerchief wadded in her fist. As she passed her dressing-table, she caught a glimpse of her face in the mirror. Dark shadows circled her eyes; her cheeks were wan, her lips dry. Her head felt woosy and throbbed uncomfortably; her limbs seemed heavy, listless.
Lady Matchams warning had come too late. In the dark hours of the night, she had faced the dismal fact: the delicate bud rooted in her heart, influenced by the weather and the warmth of his smile, had already flowered. Now it lay crushed, slain by the weight of circumstance. Soon, she supposed, it would wither.
She was not a wealthy catch, a bride who would bring as her dower the ready cash necessary to rescue a gentlemans estates. Nothing could change that cold, hard fact. She was her fathers heiress, a lady of expectations, possessed of no more than moderate fortune, and even that was prospective, not immediately accessible as capital.
Sophie sniffed again, then determinedly blew her nose. She had spent too much of the night weeping, not an occupation she had had much experience of, not since her mothers death. Now, she felt emptied, desolate, as she had then. But she knew she would recover. She would allow herself one day in which to mope, and by tonight, she would be back on her feet, her smile bright. As the Season unfolded, she would devote herself to her search for a husband with all due diligence. And forget about a handsome rake with dark blue eyes.
That was the way things were in her world; she knew it well enough. And after all Lucillas and Clarissas kindnesses, she would not allow her unhappiness to cloud Clarissas Season. She would do her best to ensure it did not sink her own, either.
Feeling oddly better to have such clear goals before her, Sophie perched on the end of her bed. Her fingers pulled at her wrinkled handkerchief; her gaze grew abstracted. There was one point she had yet to consider: how best to deal with him when they met, as, inevitably, they would.
After deep and lengthy cogitation, she had absolved him of all blame. She could not believe he had sought to cause her pain. She it was who had misread his purpose; she was, in reality, no more experienced in such matters than Clarissa. It was, very likely, as Miss Billingham had said-to him, she was a safe and agreeable companion, one with whom to pass the time until the Season was fully under way and he could set about choosing his bride. Indeed, Lady Matchams observations left little room for any other interpretation.