You know, with gas prices being what they are, he added, and carpooling being the more environmentally friendly option.
Exasperating man. Sic him, Hildie.
Honestly, Rach, what are you worried about? The few minutes alone in the car cant possibly be as intimate as the visit itself. I mean, were going to find out for sure whether or not weve created a new life, hopefully get to see the first sonogr-
Shh! Its bad enough that the dogs probably woke up everyone in the subdivision. We shouldnt be out here discussing private matters.
Youre absolutely right, he said smoothly. Ill come inside.
He went from leaning against the fence to sprinting before she had time to protest. Shed say this for him-he could move.
But paying him compliments was the furthest thing from her mind when she opened the front door. I dont want to ride with you.
Peering at her beneath the foyer chandelier, he frowned. Up close, you dont lookI meanRough morning?
I guess theres really no debonair way to tell a girl shes green and disheveled.
Youre sick to your stomach, arent you? Im an ass. You shouldnt have been standing out in the cold talking to me-you should be off your feet. Why dont you go relax, and Ill make some coffee? No, caffeines bad for the baby. Ill pour juice and-
Youll go away, Rachel said firmly. I appreciate the sentiment, sort of, but I dont need help.
Why are you being so stubborn?
Why are you? David, I dont want you to take care of me.
He surprised her by putting a hand across her abdomen. Its my baby, too, Rach. Let me be part of this. Dont shut me out again.
She flinched at his soft words. I would never try to push you away where the babys involved.
There was a time I wouldnt have believed you would push me away, period. He let his hand drop away.
He blames me. Worse, on some level, so did she. Its not-its not like I set out to create distance between us. But there were times when it was hard to be around you. Like the day the doctor had called with the results from the routine test confirming that David was not the infertile one.
Of course he wasnt. Robustly healthy, he didnt even have the decency to come down with the occasional flu so that she could commiserate with other wives about what a lousy patient he was. Hell, if he ever did get sick, hed probably be perfectly gracious about it. A tangle of long-suppressed emotion bubbled to the surface-resentment for her do-no-wrong husband and self-loathing that she hadnt been able to love him more unconditionally, that shed ever allowed resentment to take root.
You know, it wasnt exactly me pushing you, it was more pulling away. Retreating like a turtle. For my own defense.
Defense? I never would have hurt you!
Not on purpose, but it was amazing the accidents that could take place in close quarters. You dont think it hurt when you pushed me to put my miscarriage behind us like it never even happened? She cupped her hands over her belly, as if the protective gesture could somehow keep such a thing from happening again.
I was encouraging you to look forward, to consider other possibilities. You were in such a dark place, he reminded her, frustration thick in his voice.
I was. Tears spilled down her cheeks. And I felt very alone there.
I was trying my damnedest, Rach. What the hell more did you want from me?
She struggled to find the right words, her own emotions and his growing impatience making an already difficult task nearly impossible. Maybe what I needed was less from you.
He shoved a hand through his hair. That doesnt even make sense.
Well, you know me. Overwrought, crazy Rachel.
A muscle in his jaw twitched. I cant talk to you when youre like this.
Finally. She choked on a sob, wanting him gone so she could fall apart without losing the remains of her dignity. Something we agree on.
I DONT GET men, Arianne said, leaning against the doorjamb.
Then were even. David kept his gaze on the spreadsheet in front of him. He needed to go in a few minutes, and he hated leaving things unfinished. Because I dont get women. His curt tone would have warned away most would-be conversationalists.
His little sister, however, was impervious.
She sauntered inside the office and dropped into a chair. Seriously, Im baffled. Yesterday you were in a great mood. Today youre biting off heads left and right.
Then were even. David kept his gaze on the spreadsheet in front of him. He needed to go in a few minutes, and he hated leaving things unfinished. Because I dont get women. His curt tone would have warned away most would-be conversationalists.
His little sister, however, was impervious.
She sauntered inside the office and dropped into a chair. Seriously, Im baffled. Yesterday you were in a great mood. Today youre biting off heads left and right.
You should go while yours is still attached, he said mildly.
Whats going on, Dave? In contrast to her earlier tone, she no longer sounded like an adolescent sibling needling him. She sounded like a bona fide grown-up who was concerned-and more astute than people might think.
He met her gaze, wanting to tell her everything was fine but unable to lie to her outright. Nothing that we need to discuss right now. Shouldnt you be working?
She waved a hand. I doubt the owner will fire me over a few minutes back here. Thats the beauty of nepotism.
David snorted. Dad has never shown his kids favoritism. If anything, hes tougher on us than hes been on some of the part-time help over the years. You work darn hard.
I know. She dimpled at him. But I like hearing you say it. Now, are you going to tell me whats wrong, or do I have to pull Mom aside and tell her Im dreadfully worried about you?
Brat. They both knew that Susan could be obstinately determined when it came to prying information from one of her kids. Shed already expressed some concern for him, and if Arianne added that he was acting strangely, his mother might not be content to leave well enough alone. He made a show of checking his watch. If youre done with your attempted extortion, Im supposed to meet Rachel somewhere.
Somewhere? Arianne echoed.
It involves your Christmas present. I cant say more. It would ruin the surprise.
Youre so full of it. But at least Rach never has to worry about her husband keeping something from her. Youre a lousy liar.
I wouldnt lie to Rachel.
I was joking. You know that, right?
Yeah, sure. It was just that he didnt find much about his marriage funny these days. He stood. If I dont get out of here, I risk being late.
Yeah, that gridlocked downtown Mistletoe traffic can be a real delay. She sighed. Fine, dont tell me whats wrong. Go wherever it is that youre also not telling me. Im only a blood relation, no one important.
He made it all the way to the door before he turned back to press a kiss on top of Ariannes head.
She blinked up at him. What the heck was that?
I love you. Youre a pain in the ass, but its sweet that you worry about me.
Oh God. Youre not dying or something, are you?
His laugh was rusty. Of course not.
All right. She raised up on her tiptoes to hug him. Dave? Whatever is wrong, you should talk to somebody about it. If not me or Mom, then maybe Tanner. Or better yet, your wife.
Hed tried to talk to his wife-and the disastrous results were why hed been snapping at people all day.
THE PALE BLUE chairs in the OBs waiting room were locked together bench-style, in rows of three, but Rachel and David managed to sit so rigidly that there was no chance of their bodies brushing. The silence reverberating in Rachels skull was giving her a hell of a headache. Yet despite all of that, she was perversely relieved by Davids presence.
She no longer harbored a molecule of doubt that she was pregnant, still, until she actually heard Dr. McDermott say everything was progressing just right, Rachel would remain a nervous wreck. Thank God she didnt have to await the doctors diagnosis alone. So much for standing on your own two feet.
While shed strongly wanted to throw something at her husband that morning, hed been absolutely right on one point. Its my baby, too, Rach. Let me be part of this. The memory was a raw wound, substantiating what shed known but apparently hadnt accepted: the reason she was suddenly getting the full-court press was because he didnt want to lose his place in their childs life.
Could she blame him, though? After all, he was the father.
Rachel Waide?
Her heart thumped against her chest. Thats me. And always would be. While shed had her maiden name for far more years than her married surname, she didnt think shed ever truly be comfortable as Rachel Nietermyer again. She certainly didnt want a different last name than her own child.
David had risen and was reaching automatically for her hand to help her out of the chair. She didnt pull away on purpose, it was a skittish reflex, like flinching from something coming at you in your peripheral vision. David narrowed his eyes and swiftly looked away. She wished she could take back the moment. A strangled laugh caught in her throat-if she had the power to go back in time and change even small reactions, maybe they never would have reached this point.
They followed the nurse, who handed Rachel a clear specimen cup with her name written on it. After that was taken care of, the same nurse indicated the scale. Oh, joy, just what everyone wanted-to be weighed in front of an audience. She defiantly kicked off her shoes and stepped onto the platform. Ironically, her weight was lower than shed anticipated. Her blood pressure, however, was much higher than normal. The nurse made a concerned tutting noise as she wrote the numbers on the chart.
Im, uh, a little more tense today than usual, Rachel told the woman.
Understandable. But its best for you and the baby if you relax.
There were a few other minor tests to complete and medical questions to answer, although the vast majority of Rachels history was already well-documented in her patient file. Finally, she and David were shown into a larger-than-normal exam room where an ultrasound machine sat next to the table.
Dr. McDermott will be with you in just a few minutes. Shell most likely want to do a vaginal ultrasound.