Look at this, Ceci said. Someone posted another comment on Max. SunkissedGrl goes into great detail about how he charmed her, then never called her again.
It didnt take him long, Angela said.
You dont think he went out with this girl this weekend? Ceci said.
He could have, Angela said. How do I know what hes been doing? He could be having an orgy down in Florida for all I know.
Angie, you need to accept the fact that this guy might really like you. You cant automatically think the worst of him.
Why not? What makes me different from all those other girls? Hes here in Chicago for the summer. Obviously, he wants to find someone toseduce. Why not me? I was handy, willing. Angela moaned, burying her face in her hands. And stupid. I was stupid.
Ceci reached out and rubbed her arm. No, you werent. You just led with your heart instead of your brain.
And now, Im falling in love with him. After just a few days together. I try to stop these feelings but I cant. Its like Im sitting on the Metro tracks and theres a big train coming and I cant move. All I can do is wait for the impact.
Theres nothing wrong with falling in love, Ceci said. Sometimes you have to take a risk.
But dont you see how ridiculous this is. Im doomed to fail, yet I cant help myself. When he finds out about the Web site, hell hate me. When he finds out we went to high school and college together, hell mistrust me. And when he finds out Im falling in love with him, hell run away as fast as he can.
You dont know that. He may be the exception.
Stop saying that!
You just assume everything will fall apart,
Ceci said.
Its much easier than thinking about a real future with Max. She paused. I cant believe I just said those two words in the same sentence. Max. Future.
Sometimes this does seem like a dream.
Its real. I was at the ballgame. He was there. In the flesh.
A shiver skittered down Angelas spine. Putting the words Max and flesh together created a brand new flood of sensation. I cant think about him right now, she said. Its making my brain hurt.
Angela picked up her cell phone. Shed checked it at least a hundred times already that day. Stop it, she scolded. I feel like some silly teenager. I was this silly teenager, mooning over him, wondering where he was and what he was doing every minute of the day. She stood up. I have to go home.
We could get some lunch. Eating always takes your mind off your worries.
Angela shook her head. No, Im not hungry.
Maybe I need a nap. I havent really been sleeping the last few nights.
Nothing to tire you out? Ceci asked.
Right. Angela forced a smile. She grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder. Ill see you tomorrow.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Will and I were going to drive out to-
Sunday, Angela said. I knew that. Monday, then.
She stepped out into the heat of a Chicago summer day, the street busy and the sidewalk crowded with pedestrians. Angela walked to work most days and had done it so many times that she could find her way home with her eyes closed.
She stopped at the grocery store and picked up a deli container of chicken pasta salad. At the last minute, she bought a bottle of wine. Maybe a few drinks would put her mind at rest and allow her to sleep.
Angela walked home slowly, her thoughts focused on Max. Shed been thinking about him all day, waiting for him to call, wondering why he hadnt. Of course, she could have called him. There wasnt anything improper in that. They were sleeping together. The rulebook had been burned the moment they tore off their clothes and jumped into bed together.
She reached into her bag and searched around for her cell phone, then checked again to see if she had any messages. What does this mean? Angela murmured. Was this how it would end? Hed just stop calling and move on to another girl?
As she turned the corner and approached her flat, she noticed a BMW sedan double parked on the street. Angelas heart skipped a beat. It couldnt be him. Just wishful thinking. He would have called to tell her he was coming back.
She slowly approached and when she was beside the car, the passenger-side window lowered and Max leaned over the seat, a wide grin on his face. Get in, he said.
Youre back. Why didnt you call?
I did. Three or four times. And I just called the office. Ceci said you were on your way home.
You called? I didnt get any messages.
Somethings wrong with your cell phone, he said. Come on, lets go.
She reached for the door. Where are we going?
Away, he said.
How far away?
I thought wed drive up to my cabin and spend a few days, he said. Its not a vacation. Just a long drive with a bed at the other end. And a lake. And a boat.
This time, Angela wasnt about to refuse. Hed been gone for two days and shed barely survived his absence. Another two days apart and shed be ready for the psych ward. Shouldnt I pack some clothes?
He shook his head. You wont need any. And if you do, well buy them on the way.
Angela stared at him for a long moment. This was exactly what shed always wanted from a man-excitement, spontaneity, romance. How was it possible to go from the depths of doubt and despair to this, all in the course of a few minutes? This is exactly why people ended up going crazy over love. You just want to leave, right now?
Yeah, he said, waving her inside. Lets get out of the city and have some fun.
She opened the door, then hopped inside the car. All right, lets go.
Before long they were racing north through the sparse Sunday traffic. Inside the cool interior of the sedan, soft music played beneath their conversation. He was back and it was as if hed never left. Everything was exactly the same between them.
Yet everything that shed gone through in the past few days wasnt that easily forgotten. Angela couldnt imagine surviving another separation without a better understanding of how he felt about her. She drew a deep breath and turned to him. Whats going on with us? she said.
He glanced over at her. What? Were going to my cabin.
No, I meant, with us. You and me.
Oh, no, he said, shaking his head.
I just asked a question, she said. I mean, were dating, I know that. But are we exclusively dating? Would you be angry if I told you I went out with another guy while you were gone?
You went out with another guy while I was gone? he asked, his brow arching in surprise. His jaw twitched and his gaze remained fixed on the road.
No. Did you go out with another girl?
He shook his head. No.
Sowere dating.
Exclusively, he said.
You could say were having arelationship?
Yes, you could say that, Max replied.
Would you say that?
He nodded. Yes, I would say were having a relationship. Its a little weird at times, but its interesting.
Angela sank back into the leather seat and smiled. All right.
He reached across and slipped his hand around her nape, furrowing his fingers in her hair. Feeling better?
Absolutely, she said. Im glad we got that cleared up.
THIS IS AMAZING, she murmured. Its so beautiful. And quiet. Its hard to believe Chicago is only four hours away.
Max handed Angela a glass of wine, then drew her over to one of the Adirondack chairs on the porch. Sit, he said.
She shook her head. No. Lets walk down to the lake. We can sit on the pier.
All right, he said. He laced his fingers through hers and they strolled down the steps to the dirt path that led to the water. I havent spent much time up here since I bought the place six years ago. My brothers come up and fish a few times each summer. And my sister brings her kids up, but the place is closed most of the time.
She drew a deep breath. I love the smell. The trees and the lake.
You act like youve never been on vacation, he said.
I havent, Angela said. Ive traveled for business. And I spent the usual semester abroad. But, until recently, I didnt have the money for a real vacation.
Youve never gone on vacation with your family?
She shook her head. Not a relaxing vacation. When my family vacationed, it was always a teaching opportunity. We visited museums and historical sites. I cant tell you how many times weve been to Washington, D.C. We never just sat on a beach and relaxed. My parents believed that sitting around was a waste of time.
We had the best vacations when I was a kid, Max said. Wed all pile into the family van and wed just go. Four kids, my parents, and the dog. Wed camp and hike and cook over a open fire and spend as much time as we could outside.
Sounds nice. There were times when I seriously wondered if Id been adopted. I never fit in with my family. My two sisters and I are so different.
How? he asked.
They sat down at the end of the pier and stared out at the setting sun. They were so focused in everything. From the moment they exited the womb, they had a plan. My parents were so proud.
They werent proud of you?
Angela laughed. Sure. But my parents never really knew who I was. I pretended to be one thing for them, but inside I was different. I was a dreamer. I lived in my own little world. When I was a kid, I didnt have just one imaginary friend, I had a whole roomful of them. An alternate family, with brothers who took me horseback riding and sisters who loved to play dress-up.
Whats wrong with that?
My parents and sisters dont have any imagination. I used to think my name was magical and thats why I was so different. I was like an angel. My sisters are Susan and Mary. Very practical names. But my name wasromantic.
I like your name. You look like an angel.
Angela laughed, remembering his attempts the night they met. And you are so full of it, I can barely tolerate you, she teased.
You dont take compliments well at all.
Im not used to them. My parents never complimented us. We were expected to be confident and self-possessed. We werent supposed to need coddling. She paused. I love my parents, dont get me wrong, but sometimes I think I could do a better job raising a child.
I think youre perfect just the way you are, he said. And if you ever need me to tell you that, you just speak up. Max kissed the end of her nose. Do you want to go for a swim?
Angela shook her head. Im hungry. Maybe we can make some dinner first?
Max stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet. As they walked up the rise to the cabin, he lagged behind her, taking in the view. You have a very lovely ass, too, he said.