Apparently Eddie thought so as well.
All these damn tugs at his heart. And he didnt have a clue what to do about them.
9
THE NEXT MORNING, Tessa turned the key of her VW Beetle, but for the second morning in a row, nothing happened. Yesterday shed thought it was just a dead battery and shed charged it overnight.
Apparently shed been wrong. Come on, baby, she coaxed, and tapped the console lovingly. She tried again.
Nothing.
With a sigh, she leaned back. Her sister had already left for work, so she couldnt get a ride from her. If she called Rafe, hed probably get on the next plane.
She couldnt call Eddie again.
So she got on the bus and decided not to worry about her car until she could do something about it. By the time she got onto the elevator in Reillys building, it was one minute after eight and her heart was pumping. She hated to be late and she ran off the elevator the moment the doors opened.
Im sorry, she said breathlessly to Cheri, who stood there stripping off her sweater, clearly having also just arrived.
No need to be sorry, youre close enough. Cheri smiled. And since youre holding a Krispy Kreme doughnut bag in your hand, youre my new best friend.
Tessa laughed. Its a shameless bribe for your son, but I brought enough for all of us. Im determined to see him smile today.
Now that Id like to see. Hes working out now; theres a gym on the fourth floor he sometimes uses in the mornings. Between that and the doughnuts, it might just do the trick. Cheri turned on the stereo to soft rock, opened the shades to the beautiful view and flipped on the lights to the hall that led to the offices.
Apparently there wasnt a regular receptionist, because there wasnt enough phone traffic to warrant one, which left the two of them taking turns answering phones. Knowing Reilly liked his messages first-thing, Tessa sat at the front desk to check his machine.
Hes not easy to get to know, Cheri said behind her. And yet you already seem to have him pegged.
Yes, well, we got what you might call concentrated time together that night we spent locked up in Eddies house, Tessa reminded her.
Its funny what the long nighttime hours will do to a person when theyre awake, Cheri said. How much more open you can be, how much more youll share.
Tessa had to smile wryly at that. They might not have shared a lot of words, per se, but thered been enough kissing and touching to make her feel extremely open. And vulnerable.
She wasnt comfortable with that. Not one little bit.
Is that what happened, Tessa?
She sighed. In a manner of speaking. And now, in the light of day, facing each other over accounting ledgers, its been a littleawkward. Sometimes a lot awkward.
Plus, Reilly has a way of making things as awkward as possible, doesnt he? Cheri said, smiling sympathetically. I love him, I love him with my entire heart and soul and yet I want to just smack him sometimes for not letting peopleI dont knowsee him. Hes so afraid hes going to end up like his father. Hes a bit hung up on his privacy.
I noticed.
He doesnt get that from me, Ill tell you that. Actually, I dont know where he gets it. Probably from working for the government as an operative doingwell, Im not really sure, to tell you the truth. Im just glad hes not still doing it.
Tessa stopped in the act of opening the bag of doughnuts. You mean he wasCIA?
Was. Cheri winced. He didnt tell you.
No. But it explains a lot. Why did he get out of it?
Cheri took a moment to answer. Lets just say his last mission nearly killed him. Literally. It made him wary. And unhappy, I think. In any case, it took him a long time to recover and in some ways hes still recovering. She put her hand on Tessas wrist. Youll be patient with him, wont you Tessa? Patient, and kind, and compassionate?
Im sorry for what he went through, but I think you have the wrong idea-
You like him, Cheri said. You care about him. I can see that.
I barely know him. And because she didnt want to talk about it anymore, she busied herself with sharpening a pencil.
Cheri took the hint and left her alone. Tessa stared at the electric pencil sharpener, her mind far from the pencil and stuck on Reilly.
Hed been in the CIA. Hed been hurt.
Hed become wary because of it.
He needed patience. Kindness and compassion.
She had those things, but she wasnt sure Cheri knew what she was asking. Reilly didnt want anything from her but work.
Hed become wary because of it.
He needed patience. Kindness and compassion.
She had those things, but she wasnt sure Cheri knew what she was asking. Reilly didnt want anything from her but work.
A few moments later, Cheri handed her a stack of work and gave her a little smile. Are you going to offer me a doughnut or are you just going to torture me with the scent of them all morning?
Tessa set them out. She took the stack of work and a glazed doughnut and went to her desk to dig in. After a while, Cheri popped her head into the room and said she was going out to run some errands.
Alone, Tessa went into the small photocopy-fax room and started making a stack of copies she needed for one of Reillys clients. She got into a rhythm of lifting the top of the machine, replacing the sheet she needed copied, placing it back into the file. The sound of the copier was loud and hypnotic, so that when someone stepped up right behind her suddenly, she let out a little scream and jerked. Papers went flying as she whirled around, flattening herself back against the machine.
Hey. Hey, its just me. Reilly. He stood there, all in black, of course. Black athletic shoes, black running shorts, black T-shirt, which was plastered to him. The man sure was in some kind of amazing shape. She registered this in a distant way because hed nearly given her heart failure and she couldnt talk. He definitely looked the secret agent part, shed give him that. Tall, edgy, dangerous
Tess?
Get it together, she told herself, get it together before you annoy the hell out of him for acting like a baby. Im sorry. Im fine. She bent for the papers.
Are you sure? He hunkered down beside her and started helping her.
No, Ive got it. She shoved the stack all back into the file, figuring shed fix it when she was alone and could breathe again. Im just fine. Really.
All right. He eyed her carefully. Im going to shower in the bathroom in my office. He paused. I didnt mean to scare you.
I just thought I was alone, thats all. Cheri said you were working out. He looked good all hot and sweaty and bothered. Extremely superhero-like.
Had she ever really seen a different side of him, a soft and gentle side, even for a moment? No. She had to have imagined that, because this man with his see-through eyes and rock-hard body and low, rough voice didnt have a soft and gentle side-
He reached out, dispersing her thoughts like the wind. His hand settled on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. Its okay, you know, its just delayed shock. Standing, he pulled her up. Iknow what youre going through.
Oh, damn. He knew. He knew because something terrible had happened to him on his last mission, something much more terrible than being held up in Eddies house. He was big and tough and strong, and yet he understood, and wanted her to know that.
He needs kindness and compassion and patience, Cheri had told her and yet here he was offering it to her. She stared down at the papers, which suddenly went a little blurry, because here was that flash of beta guy again and it confused her.
With a sigh, he took the stack and set it all on the copier. He put his hands on her again, her hips this time.
Im really fine, she whispered, wanting it to be so. Wanting it to be so quite badly.
Yes.
She shifted a little closer, needing the contact, needingso much.
Dont. His voice was low, gruff, and he tried to hold her off. Im all sweaty.
I dont care.
Tess. But he pulled her just a little closer, waiting until she tipped her head up to his.
You know what? she whispered. I think I lied. I dont think Im so fine. It She closed her eyes and saw the gray room. Saw Reilly standing in Eddies kitchen with a gun. It keeps coming back.
Im sorry. He looked her over, his jaw going all tight and bunched and sexy when he took in the bruises on her throat. Im really sorry.
Something deep within her curled, warmed. Ached. Maybe you should go back to snarling at me.
I dont snarl at you, he said, grimacing. I never mean to, anyway. Not at you.
Oh, no. He was making her melt again, melt into a boneless heap. The way he looked at her, as if she was something he needed to run from and run to at the same time Without permission, her arms snaked upward around his neck and held on for dear life so that he couldnt change his mind and back away. Her chest brushed his. So did her thighs. And everything in between.
Every single erogenous zone in her body stood up and took notice.
His fingers tightened on her hips for one moment, then he dropped his hands from her and stood back.
Which was a good thing. It reminded her why she was here. Work. Just work.
She didnt want to feel this tug for him. She wanted him to go far, far away and leave her to that work before she forgot her entire humiliating experience with him at Eddies and did something stupid.
Like kiss him for a third time.
Oh, no. No, the next time they kissed, he was going to initiate it. He was going to want it. Because she already knew that if he did kiss her, shed give in, shed let him do it. Shed let him kiss them both senseless.
And then hed walk away. Pretend it didnt happen. She didnt have to be ex-CIA to know that.
But he didnt kiss her.
Not even once.
THE NEXT DAY Reilly was on his way into the office when Cheri called him on his cell phone.
Oh, honey. Glad I caught you. Im not working for you today.
Reilly had already gone for his run that morning and was eating his way through a fast-food breakfast as he drove. He knew the two cancelled each other out, but he didnt care. He ran because it felt good and he ate what he ate because it tasted good. Are you sick? he asked her.
Im never sick.
Oka-a-ay. Attitude adjustment day?
Why would I need that, I dont have an attitude.
So itsa woman thing? he asked warily, not really wanting to know.
Reilly, Im working for your father today. Hes behind, and-
What?
And Ive got you all caught up, so-
But This was so far from what he expected, he couldnt think. You work for me.
Yes, Cheri said with that calm reasonableness she had, that made his brain feel like she was scrambling it. But he needs me.
But
Reilly, honey, honestly. Tessa could do my job blindfolded. Youll be fine.