By the sound of her, she could barely get her words together. Good. Neither could he, damn it.
The records, she managed. They should come today.
He knew that, hed wakened up knowing it, just as he knew shed be out of here when they did arrive.
This is it, she said. We shouldnt-
Damn right, we shouldnt. But we are. Not wanting to hear all the reasons they were being fools, his mouth covered hers.
He knew the reasons, every one of them. The kiss obliterated it all from his mind the moment she surrendered with a cry and started kissing him back, hot and hard and wet.
He felt a blinding need, an intense stroke of emotion, and heat raced through his body, so that if he didnt take her now, he would die. Then her shorts were gone, his jeans opened. Lifting her higher yet, he surged into her, making them both cry out. He wasnt sure how he could continue to want her this way, this all-powerful, earth-shattering way, but the wanting consumed him.
Nick It was a sob, torn from her throat, telling him she was consumed, too.
Wrap your legs around my waistthere. Yeah, there. Using the door, he thrust into her glorious, giving body, until with another keening cry, she came. Watching her fall apart, shuddering, mindless, his name on her lips, he followed her over the edge.
It was several moments before he could move, but he finally lifted his face from where hed planted it against her neck.
Danielles head was thrown back against the door, her eyes closed, and he could feel her limbs still shaking. He would have touched her, but as his own limbs were still trembling like crazy, he was afraid to let go of his two fistfuls of her bottom, or hed drop her.
Eyes still closed, she squirmed until he loosened his grip, then she reached for the clothes theyd scattered across the room.
Sweater held to her breasts, she turned to him, eyes miserable. I cant do this anymore.
This, as in making love?
This, as in making love?
This, as in playing house. She shoved her legs into her shorts. This pretending to be engaged. She pulled on her sweater, forgetting her bra. This She gestured to the door that theyd just done it against. That.
Before he could respond, there came a knock at that very door.
Nick? Maureen called through the wood. Honey, Clint and I just opened some champagne with breakfast. A gift from our distributor. Bring your soon-to-be wife down, well have a toast.
Nick looked at Danielle, who gave him a long, solemn, sorrowed look that said see? Its wrong.
Give us a minute, Nick said.
Danielle just shook her head.
She didnt want to play the game anymore, but that was okay, because neither did he. And it was time to tell her. He watched her search for a sock and find it. I want the real thing, Danielle.
The sock fell from her fingers. You what?
I dont want to pretend anymore, either. I want to sleep with you at night, wake up with you wrapped around me. I want to share your life, and have you share mine.
Youre crazy, she whispered.
Maybe.
You cant want to share my life. I dont want to share my life.
I love you, Danielle.
Her expression shuttered and she turned away. Walking to the window, she stared down at the gardens, so alive with color. Thats ridiculous. You dont know me.
I think I do, he said evenly, which was difficult, as shed cut him deep with her disbelief.
Okay, then. Danielles shoulders were stiff. So was her neck. Hell, her entire body felt so tight she was going to crack and fall apart, limb by limb. I dont know you.
Just because you feel like your back is up against the wall, he said, more quietly now, isnt a reason to lie to me.
She whipped back to face him, a hot retort on her lips, but it died when she saw that while his voice had sounded confident, he was far from sure of himself.
Above all else, his love for her was shining in his eyes. Oh, Nick.
His jaw tightened. Youre thrilled.
Terrified, more like. How could facing his love be harder than facing Teds hatred? We lead very different lives.
So?
Soyouve told me yourself, your job takes you far and wide. Youre rarely home.
And Ive also told you, Ive enjoyed this break. So much that Im thinking a little lifestyle change wouldnt be a bad thing. I can still write, Danielle, and not vanish for months at a time. His gaze deepened. If its permanence youre looking for.
Thats just it. I dont know what Im looking for. Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Yes, you do. You just dont want to admit it. God forbid you share yourself-
Ive tried that, thank you very much!
Not with me, you havent. His eyes were hot. Dont lump me in with him, Danielle.
Its not that simple.
Im tired of beating my head against the wall to get you to trust me. To want me.
I want you, Nick. Thats never been the problem.
Id rather have your trust.
Her ribs felt too tight. Her stomach hurt. She needed air, badly. I dont do trust. She found her shoes, shoved them on.
You do at night.
Damn it, where was Sadies leash?
You trust me when its dark, he said behind her. When you can fool yourself into believing its just sex, its just comfort, its just temporary.
The leash was already on Sadie. Grabbing it, she faced Nick, seeing all his anger and hurt, which made her heart clench tighter.
But its in the light of day that the challenge comes, he guessed correctly. Well, guess what, Danielle? Im not like him, and Im never going to be. Im never going to shove you into some mold, force you to do things you dont want to do. Im not interested in changing you, or asking you to be someone youre not. I want you, just as you are. He put his hand over hers on the door handle. But I wont have you look at me with that look, the one that says youre wondering how long before I show my true colors, the one that says that no matter how often you let me make love to you, youre still going to hold back a portion of your heart.
Nick, stop. Please stop. God, she had to think. Breathe. She hauled open the door.
Sadie whined, not happy with the tension, and Danielle gave a little tug on the leash. Come.
Sadie merely ducked her head and used her weight to tug back.
Running, Danielle? Nick asked while she played tug-of-war with the dog.
Damn him for not understanding. This wasnt easy for her, it-
With another whine, Sadie sat on Nicks feet.
Youve run before, Nick noted, putting a hand on Sadies head. Hasnt worked for you yet. Why dont you take a stand and work this out?
Danielle glanced down at her dog, who-she couldnt believe it-refused to budge.
Go ahead, Nick suggested. Run. Keep on running. Dont let me in. Dont acknowledge how I feel for you. Youll be happier that way. Right?
What did he know about it? Come on, Sadie. She stepped outside the room, but Sadie didnt.
Leave her. Nicks eyes dared her. If air is all you need.
You dont even like her.
His eyes roamed over her before he shook his head. Still not seeing me, I see.
She stared back at him, tough and tense. He thought he loved her. My God. Loved her. She couldnt breathe again, and dropping the leash, she ran for the trails.
Alone.
As always, alone.
NICK LOOKED DOWN at Sadie.
From her perch on his feet-which were quickly losing circulation-she shot him a reproachful, hurt look, as if this mess was all his fault.
Hey, youre the one who decided to stay here, he pointed out.
Sadie butted his stomach with her head, tilting her face up to blink huge, melting eyes at him.
Oh, no. Dont give me that. Im second fiddle and I know it. You should have gone with her.
Sadie let out a long sigh. A pathetic sigh. A poor-me sigh.
Ah hell. He shoved his fingers through his hair and crouched down. You know Ive grown stupidly attached, right? To the both of you?
Sadie leaned on him, knocking him to his butt on the floor, and something inside him warmed slightly as she crawled into his lap. Fine mess, huh? he muttered, trying to be tough but it was hard with a hundred and fifty pounds of dog sitting on him. Giving up, he wrapped his arms around the damn dog-not an easy feat-and gave her a hug.
The big oaf put her head on his shoulder and let out a long strand of drool, right down his back. He hardly noticed. Its going to be okay, he told her. Somehow.
But how? He could still picture the glitter of tears in Danielles eyes as he told her he loved her.
His love made her nervous.
His heart cracked at that, and a good amount of his temper drained. But for a man who hadnt even imagined his own happily-ever-after, not quite yet, he had a lot of expectations.
Like being loved back.
NICK TOOK SADIE out back. They sat on the large deck overlooking the gardens, and beyond that, the hillside dotted with bike trails. Far below lay an open meadow, filled with green.
It was a beautiful spot, and Nick knew if peace was what Danielle was seeking, shed find it out there on the trails.
Maureen came outside and sat by him. Two things, she said in her usual blunt style. I had a friend at the station run that Ted of yours.
He could tell by the look on her face shed found something. And? he asked.
Model citizen. Dedicated worker. Always pays his bills, yadda, yadda.
But? I think I sense a but at the end of that sentence.
Oh, yeah, theres a but. Several charges of aggravated assault.
Convicted?
Nope. All the charges were eventually dropped. But if you take those, along with the fact he was quietly released from two different private investing firms over the past five years for the same reason, again no charges filed, you get a different picture of this so-called model citizen. Do you know this hot-head?
Not personally. A grimness settled over him. Whats the second thing?
Did you go trampling through my newly planted veggies against the east wall of the inn?
Are you kidding? And risk certain death? When she didnt smile, he glanced at Sadie, wondering if she could possibly charm Maureen into forgiveness, for Maureens possessive feelings about her gardens had become well-known. Are you sure theyre people prints?
Theyre not only people prints, theyre male prints. Definitely not Clints though, he wouldnt dare. Plus, theyre too big. She narrowed her eyes at his feet.
Innocent, he swore, lifting his hands. But whod want to be peeking in the windows- Ah, hell.