Relax, he whispered into her ear when she held herself stiffly to minimize their body contact. He ran his big hands down her spine. This is supposed to be fun.
I dont really consider dancing fun.
Dont you know how to dance?
She looked up into his eyes. I used to dance on top of tables. My second fiancé got me the job.
Yes, well, weve already established what I think of the men in your past.
Itdoesnt bother you?
That you danced on tables for what probably was damn good money? Not if you enjoyed it.
No, that Ive been engaged so many times and ruined so many good men.
I doubt you ruined anyone, Suzanne.
She stared at him. Thats not how the story goes.
Did you really fail anyone? he asked softly. And before you answer, think about it. Did you lie, steal or cheat anyone? Did you do anything other than be who you are, which is a smart, funny, beautiful, compassionate, amazing woman?
She swallowed. Youscare me.
Good. You scare me back. Now youve stopped dancing. Cant have that. Here, ease up against me a bit, thats right, like that.
Oh God. Their bodies brushed together, hers doing just as he said, easing up against him. Pleasure suffused her entire being, blooming from all the contact points, of which there were many.
She was well aware of how easy it would be to take that pleasure. To give some back. They could spend the night together. Pressed against him as she was, she could feel he was more than ready and able and willing.
But at what cost? She couldnt do this again. She just couldnt. Plus, to add to her growing fears, this didnt feel like any of the other relationships shed had, this feltdeeper. In less than a week, it felt like more. Oh, God.
The music slowed, and so did Ryan. Nice, huh? His low voice was soft by her ear, his hands holding her close, but she had the feeling shed be this close even without his encouragement, as her body seemed to have a mind of its own.
When he swayed, she swayed, when he turned, she turned. For a man who worked outside with his hands all day long, he was amazingly sensual. Extraordinarily erotic. And being held against him, swaying, dipping, she became those things, too. She was surrounded by him-by his touch, his voice-and nothing in her experience had ever felt so good, so very good. In his arms, her resolve to resist him at all costs faded away to nothing. Less than nothing. In fact, if he scooped her up against him and carried her off to his bed, shed probably beg him to hurry.
Then they shifted even closer so that the tips of her breasts slid against his chest. Her hips pressed to his, allowing her to feel his hard belly, his hard thighs and the most interesting hard bulge between them. Lifting her gaze, she saw the heat and desire smoldering in his, just waiting for her to acknowledge it.
You do that to me, he murmured.
She trembled and forgot why she was holding back.
Do I do that to you, too, Suzanne? Make you hot? Make you feel like you could justspontaneously combust?
I The words backed up in her throat when his gaze dipped to the scooped neckline of her shirt. The plump curves of her breasts just barely showed. Modest. Shed meant for it to be so. But he pulled back an inch, just enough so that she could see the clear, defined outline of her nipples pressing so desperately against the material of her shirt.
Yes, she whispered, admitting the truth he could see. Youdo that to me.
Are you wet, too? he asked, very softly near her ear. Are you wet for me?
A helpless whimper escaped her when he pulled her close again, swaying lightly to the music.
Good thing he could still dance. Her pulse had long ago skyrocketed. Everywhere they touched sent an electrical current through her body, pooling at the spot between her legs. Breathing unevenly, she swallowed hard, but her heart still threatened to burst right out of her chest.
If Ryan noticed, he gave no sign, merely dipped his head a little and gently slid his jaw to hers. The unexpected tenderness of that and the way he guided her around the living room with such ease made her feel almost sorry she was never going to try again, that shed never experience love the way she knew it must exist.
Then the music ended, and he slowly pulled back, releasing her. She nearly cried. More, please more, she wanted to plead, and bit her tongue instead. A little pain now would save her later, she told herself.
But there, in the dark, they stood. She could feel him looking at her. She couldnt imagine what he was thinking. Then the music started back up and she felt his fingers once again entwine with hers. They were warm and slightly rough from all the hard work he did every day. One more, he said, and when she hesitated a heartbeat too long, he drew her back against him.
A small sound of pure pleasure escaped her at the feel of his long, hard body once again against hers. Who would have believed a dance could be so sensual, sooverwhelming?
Dipping his head so that he could see into her eyes, he held her gaze, holding her to him as if maybe he didnt want to let her go either.
Tim had never held her like this, as if she was a beautiful creature, as if hed die if she moved away.
No one had.
It was terribly seductive, and terribly revealing. She was going to cave if she wasnt careful! God, what could she do? Calculate complicated recipes in her head? Remember she was essentially jobless?
She still wanted him with a desperation that scared her spitless. This time when the music ended, she pulled back. Ihave to clean up.
Dont go.
Have to, she whispered, and at his expression-so completely frustrated and ardent at the same time-she ran into the kitchen, where she went straight to the sink, turned on the cold water, and splashed her face until reason returned.
Then, and only then, did she clean up the kitchen. As soon as she finished, she let herself out the back door into the dark night. She raced home and fell into bed, reaching beneath her pillow for the book of jokes her father had given her when her heart had first been broken. Shed been twelve, and Steven MacKenzie had publicly dumped her at second recess. It had been her first lesson at laughing in the face of pain and ever since, when shed been down, shed read the book to put herself to sleep.
But tonight, no jokes, no matter how familiar and comforting, helped.
7
THE NEXT AFTERNOON Suzanne and Taylor sat on Taylors big bed, eating ice cream right out of the container. It was horrible, Suzanne said.
I dont know how you can say that. Ive tried it myself.
Really? Did you feel like your heart was going to just leap right out of your chest?
No, Chinese food doesnt do that to me. But Mexican does.
Not the food! Suzanne shook her head and laughed. Im talking about the slow dancing!
Well. Even Taylors eyes smiled. Well, well.
And what does that mean?
It means I find it very interesting that a man you claim to feel nothing for can make your heart go all pitter-pattery when he holds you against him.
Obviously Taylor had never been held against the likes of Ryan Alondo. And until last night, Suzanne hadnt either. Shed never experienced such a true, desperate need for a man in her life. Shed been so frantic she would have given up breathing to have him.
And yet you kept slow dancing, Taylor pointed out.
Well Remembering how heavenly it had felt being held tight to his hard, warm body, Suzanne sighed. Yeah.
But in the end, you somehow managed to walk away without jumping his bones.
Not walk, Suzanne corrected. Run. I ran like hell was nipping at my heels.
I dont know about hell, honey, but Id certainly call him sin personified.
They both looked out the window-where Sin Personified was working a story below. Ryan stood on a large round of wood, balanced on the balls of his feet. His shirt clung to him, damp with exertion, which only further defined a body she knew could made a grown woman cry, but thats not what caught her attention now. He was wielding a huge ax with the rhythm of a machine, his arms, his chest, his legs all working in perfect unison.
Suzanne had tried to pick up one of those axes the other day. Shed barely been able to get it off the ground, much less fling it with deadly precision over her head time and time again.
God, hes gorgeous. Taylor slid another bite of ice cream into her mouth. Mmm. Sort of rugged and earthy, you know? With just the slightest bit of edge and danger mixed in. I mean, look at him. She sucked on her spoon with a dreamy look on her exquisite face. I bet hes an exceptional lover.
Oh yeah, he would be. With those hands? Long and lean and work-roughened. They were dark from the sun, warm, and Suzanne could almost feel them stroking over her much paler skin Her legs tightened, halfway to orgasm just thinking about it, and she had to laugh. Im sure hes far too experienced for me.
Taylor lifted a worldly brow. Are you saying our tree guy gets around?
His brothers told me hes a chick magnet. She rolled her eyes. Their words, not mine.
Her landlord pursed her lips and fanned herself. A man who knows what hes doing. Yummy.
Yummy was right, and Suzanne was starting to perspire with all the images running wild in her head. Can we talk about something else?
Sure. How about this? Sitting Indian-style on her bed, Taylor spread out a set of blue prints and a thick file. Bids. I need an architect, an engineer and a contractor, and thats just to start. Ive seen three of each so far. My God, do you have any idea how much these people charge?
A lot?
More than an arm and a leg, let me tell you. But I figure if I sell off the antiques, I can do this, assuming, of course, that I never need to eat or heat the place again.
No problem, Suzanne said. This is Southern California, well live without heating. As for the eating part, I have two more catering jobs coming up. A promotion party and a housewarming get-together.
Good for you! You should toss the want ads I see you scanning every day and go for it.
Oh, no. Caterings just a hobby. But with the few odd jobs here and there, I can keep us fed. Suzanne leaned over the blue prints, which she had no idea how to read, looking up when she felt Taylor go utterly still. Whats the matter?