Surgeon.
Suzanne was stunned. There was no way this woman who looked younger than she herself could be a surgeon. But Taylor continued talking before Suzanne could ask Nicole any questions.
And its just you, right? No roommate or significant other?
Nicole shuddered. God, no.
Taylor laughed.
Nicole didnt. Why is that funny?
Lets just say Suzanne and I are on the same wavelength as you, thats all. Weve taken a vow of singlehood, just to save us gray hair.
Works for me, muttered Nicole, but this time when she smiled, it reached her eyes. Call me at the hospital when the place is ready. Its where Im at pretty much 24-7.
Will do. Taylor watched Nicole vanish down the stairs. You know, theres just something about her
Do you think she has other stuff pierced? Suzanne wondered.
Ouch. I hope not. But I meant the feeling I had when I first looked at her. It was the same feeling I had when I first looked at you.
Yeah? Suzanne smiled. Like get this girl off my property before her and her bad karma bring a tree down on my building?
Taylor laughed. No. Like shes going to become someone special to me. She nudged Suzannes shoulder with her own. Just as youve become.
Suzanne smiled a little, startled by the sudden lump in her throat. Youre special to me, too.
Special enough to tell me whats wrong?
Nothings wrong.
Which, of course, is why youve got circles beneath your eyes and youre avoiding talking about you know who.
Suzanne managed a laugh. Im not avoiding talking about him.
Really? Then why wont you say his name? When Suzanne didnt say anything, Taylor said it. Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. Come on, you can say it. Ry-
Look Suzanne blew out a long breath but had to laugh at Taylors knowing expression. Can we talk about something else? Anything else?
Sure. Taylor smiled. Hows your catering business going?
Its just a-
Hobby, Taylor said with her, then shook her head. Look, hon, I already love you. But youve got a serious case of denial going all the way around. Youve got a great business practically running itself, and the prospect of some really good sex. Why cant you just enjoy it? Whats the worst thing that could happen if you let yourself be happy?
She could fail. Andwell, she could fail.
And, oh yeah, she could fail.
11
RYAN FOUND HIMSELF inundated with jobs, which coincided with his midterms. Which coincided with his inability to think of anything and anyone but Suzanne.
It wasnt good. He needed concentration. His latest job required him to take down a series of ten palm trees, each a towering seventy-five feet. Big job. Important job. It had been waiting for him for weeks.
So why he drove the wrong truck, with the wrong ladder system and lost two hours of work was beyond him.
The next day he ran out of gas halfway to the job and had to call Russ for a ride, losing another hour of work.
On the third day he didnt remember to pick up Angel from school when shed called and asked. Hed forgotten his own damn sister.
On the fourth day he miraculously made it to his jobsite without interruption, and felt quite proud of that fact.
But then was immediately surrounded by his two brothers and sister, all of whom were looking at him so gravely his heart stopped. Whats the matter? He pictured a serious illness, a death, something mind-bendingly awful enough to put that doom-and-gloom look on their faces.
You, Angel said gently, then shoved him into one of the folding beach chairs they kept on the job for lunch break. Youre the matter. Ryan Alondo She waved a hand. Welcome to your intervention.
My what?
You heard me. Just sit there and listen.
Yeah. Rafe took off his sunglasses, appearing haggard and worried, and took a deep breath. Okay, here it goes. First, youre forgetful. Youve never been forgetful before, Ryan.
Its like youve gone blond or something, Russ said, shutting his mouth when Angel glared at him.
So, you tell us. She stood over Ryan with her hands on her hips. Whats the matter? Are you sick?
No. No! he added more vehemently when he saw how worried they really were. Im not.
Are we having money trouble? Russ asked, because it was Ryan that handled the bulk of their pay, investing it for them.
Yeah, like, did you take up gambling, and lose everything, and dont know how to tell us? Rafe asked. Because if you did, thats okay. We can make more. We just want to know.
Ryan would have laughed if there was anything funny about the fact that hed really freaked them out. They were staring at him as he had stared at them over the years-an expression of sober grimness mixed with a lot of love.
The irony was not lost on him. I didnt lose all our money.
Is the business going under? Angel asked. Because that doesnt matter either, you know that, right? Well find something else, well work at Taco Bell, well-
The business is good, Ryan said, his voice a little thick because damn, theyd given him a sucker punch to the gut with this reminder of how much he wasnt alone. Look, Im sorry if Ive been a little out of it lately, but-
A little? Rafe shook his head. I told you I didnt get home until three in the morning, and what did you say? Nothing.
You got home at three in the morning? Ryan frowned. Where the hell were you until then?
See? You never even heard me.
Im hearing you now. Where were you-
Look, kick his ass later, okay? Angel knelt in front of Ryan and took his hands. Tell us whats wrong.
Ryan stared at the three people in the world who meant everything to him, and spoke the utter truth, the truth hed only just been able to admit. Ivefallen for a woman.
They all stared at him for a heartbeat, then burst into laughter.
Thats a good one, Angel said, swiping a tear of mirth off her cheek. Youve fallen for a woman. A woman. Uh-huh, right.
As if one would ever be enough. Rafe was still grinning, too. When we all know you need a minimum of three a week.
See, now thats not exactly true. But it had been his own deception that made them believe it. Im not dating women every night. Imgoing to college. Im almost finished my landscape architect degree.
Russ narrowed his eyes. But you are dating. You dated Allene just last week.
I did go out with Allene, but only because Rafe set it up and I didnt pay attention enough to say no. Im not kidding you, Im taking classes three nights a week and between that and work and Suzanne, its killing me. Im sorry I didnt tell you, Ijust wanted to do this for me.
Angel stared at him, then wound her arms around his neck. Oh, Ryan. College! Were college buddies! I feel so proud of you!
Landscape architecture? Rafe repeated slowly, then grinned. How cool is that?
But what about the business? Russ asked.
The tree business will be here as long as you guys want it.
So Rafe scratched his head. Youve been doing all of it? Just for us? Bro, you didnt have to do that.
Of course I did.
I dont want to make this a chick-flick or anything, Rafe said a little thickly. But thats pretty damn cool of you.
Landscape architecture, Rafe said slowly. Yeah.
Sounds cool. Butyoure not dating the entire female population? Really?
Really. Ryan gave Angel, still in his arms, a squeeze. Sorry.
She pulled free to narrow her gaze on him. So whos Suzanne?
The one. He swallowed and faced the cold, hard truth. Shes the one.
Shes- Oh my God. She put a hand to her mouth while her gaze never left his. Youre serious.
Im serious.
Russ groaned and sank theatrically into a chair. Hes fallen and cant get up.
So what are you going to do about her? Angel wanted to know.
WellIm going to convince her she feels the same way.
Why do you have to convince her? his sister demanded. Why doesnt she already love you? Whats the matter with her?
Nothing. Ryan grinned. She just isnt quite as sure of me as you are.
SUZANNE FOUND a part-time chef position at a restaurant across town. After being her own boss for weeks, she had to admitworking for someone else wasnt as much fun as she remembered.
South Village was fun to live in, and fun to cook in, but this restaurant was upscale. Which meant she was cooking for people who knew what they wanted and werent afraid to say so. Very quickly she got tired of the same menu every night, and not being able to deviate for fear of insulting a patron.
One morning about a week after what she thought of as the ice cream incident with Ryan, she tripped over a package outside her door. Frowning, she picked up the plainly wrapped, odd-shaped box with the pretty silver bow. It was nearly two feet long, several inches wide, and gave off no other clue as to what it was.
She glanced left and right down the hallway of the second floor landing, but there was no one there, so she pulled off the ribbon, then the paper.
And found herself holding a set of beautiful teak-wood cooking utensils.
A card fell out, and she scooped it up, her heart accelerating at the words.
Suzanne,
For your catering. I know, I know, its just a hobby. But maybe youll think of me when you use them, as Im thinking of you.
Ryan.
Ryan, the man whod made her smile and yearn and burn. Ryan, the man who haunted her dreams every night.
Ryan, the man who could single-handedly destroy her in a way no one else ever could.
The gift wasnt some empty-handed gesture, as flowers might have been. The utensils had been bought with her in mind, which meant the gift came from his heart.
That alone made her throat tight, because she couldnt remember ever receiving a gift like this before.
Lord, she must be tired. She hadnt slept well in days. Ryans fault, as shed been dreaming about him. If she wasnt dreaming about him, she was thinking about him.
Again, his fault. Hed called, hed stopped by, and much as she wanted to remain indifferent, she couldnt. Not when every time they easily talked, easily laughedand easily could have taken it further.
Shed say it was all physical, but that was a lie. It was far more than physical now, and she knew it.
Which made it no less terrifying. Shed failed in her determination to keep him out of her heart. Utterly failed.
That evening when she got home, there was yet another package. Small this time, with another silver bow.
She opened the thing like a kid at Christmas, then right there in the hallway had to sit down.