He moved off the bed and opened her bedroom window, letting in some of the early evening breeze. And unbidden, another memory hit her. Him crossing her bedroom just like he was now, his tall, lanky form turning to shoot her a crooked grin as he eased open her window and swung a leg over the sill at the crack of dawn, preparing to leave after a long, forbidden night of touching, kissing, talking, loving.
Now, Bens mouth curved wryly with the same memory. I guess this time I can use the door instead of nearly killing myself climbing down the trellis. Remember?
Her body shuddered. It was damn hard to feel nothing, to refuse to go down memory lane with him saying Remember? in that sexy voice every two minutes. Tell me again why you have to do this, Ben. Why you have to stay.
He turned away. Do you really think that little of me, that you believe I wouldnt?
I think youre crazy if you expect me to fall for the reasoning that you want to be here, in South Village, tied to one house, one spot, when everything within you yearns to be on the move.
He moved to the door. Well, then, call me crazy.
But why? You cant want to be here.
He moved to the door. Well, then, call me crazy.
But why? You cant want to be here.
This has nothing to do with what I want. He glanced at her over his shoulder. Just get better. Get better and itll be over before you know it. Then you can go back to your safe, sterile life and forget I bothered you for one moment of it.
The door shut behind him, and before she could obsess, sleep took over her battered body, releasing her from thinking, aching, wondering.
But not from dreaming.
TWO MONTHS BEFOREhigh school graduation, National Geographic contacted Ben. They wanted him to intern with one of their photographers for the summer in Venezuela. If that worked out, hed have an assignment waiting for him in the fall in South Africa.
Come with me, he said to Rachel.
They sat in their hidden-away spot in the botanical gardens behind city hall, their common meeting place, halfway between their respective houses.
Rachel lifted her gaze off the letter in his hands and stared at him. He was more animated than shed ever seen him, even in the throes of passion, and she knew why. Hed been waiting his entire life to leave this town, and now he had a chance.
But shed been waiting her entire life to stay in one place longer than it took to order and cancel cable service. Shed moved once a year for as long as she could remember, and she was weary, so damn weary.
She loved South Village; loved the joyous crowds, the urban streets, the sights, the smells, everything. This town was her life, her heart. She loved it here and didnt want to leave, not even for Ben. If she left, her life with him would be no different than it was now-just a blur of moving, moving, moving, when all she wanted was a home.
Rach?
I want to stay.
No, we have to go. Theres nothing for me here, you know that.
Actually, shed only guessed, as he never told her about his family. It was the one thing hed always refused to discuss.
Its my future, he said hoarsely, telling her only how much this meant to him, but not why.
Oh, God, letting him go, watching him walk away, would be like ripping out a part of her, the best part. I cant. Her heart got stuck in her throat because she knew. He was destined to go.
And she was destined to stay.
Youll come, he said confidently. But they didnt speak of it again because shortly after that Rachel caught the flu-a nasty bug that dragged on and on, weakening her, tiring her.
After watching her throwing up every afternoon at four oclock on the dot for a week running, Ben took her to a clinic. Does she need antibiotics? he demanded of the doctor, squeezing her hand as they waited for an answer.
Nope. The doctor shook his head. What youre cooking isnt contagious. Its a baby.
CHAPTER SIX
THE PHONE WOKE Melanie Wellers at what felt like the crack of dawn. Opening her eyes, she stretched lazilyand came in contact with a warm, hard, undeniably male body.
Oh, yeah, nice way to wake up.
Those male arms tightened on her, and a low growl sounded in her ear. Mmm, you feel good.
Yes, yes she did. She always felt good with a nice warm body to strain against.
Jason, no, Justinyes, Justin, she remembered with a fond sigh, had so gallantly offered her a ride home from the bar last night where shed gone after work in need of a stiff drink.
Her boss had been a son of a bitch all day, she had bills coming out the wazoo and she hadnt gotten the raise shed counted on. And yet Jason-damn it, Justin-had promised to make it all go away for a night.
Lord almighty, hed kept his word.
The phone kept ringing, and it started to grate on her nerves. Gotta get that, sugar, she said, slapping his bare ass playfully as she stretched across him for the cordless on the nightstand.
Then she caught sight of the time. Ah, shit! Late for work, again.
Can you see me now, Dad? With a sardonic twist of her mouth, she glanced heavenward. Or maybe she should be looking down toward hell, as that was a far more likely place for her father to have ended up. Late for work, Dad, and proud of it. Roll in your grave over that one.
Hoping it wasnt her boss, she grabbed the phone.
Aunt Mel?
A smile broke out onto her face, and only part of it was relief. Hiya, Emmie, baby.
Are you busy?
Mel glanced at the extremely gorgeous, extremely naked man in her bed. He rolled over and shot her a come-get-me smile, making her laugh. A little. Whats up? Hows your mom?
Thats what I wanted to tell you, shes good. Shes great. So great you dont need to take any time off this weekend to come down here, well be fine.
Mels relief became tinged with something a little sour. She was the older sister and, stupid as it was, she had this bone deep need to be needed by Rachel.
Rarely happened.
Still, for weeks she hadnt taken a spare breath, going back and forth from Santa Barbara to South Village, and not only had it crimped her social life, she really needed to rack up some extra hours at work. Are you sure?
Positive. Mom says do what you have to do, were fine.
You got a nurse, right?
Things are really, really fine. So, uh, well just see you next weekend. Or the weekend after.
Next weekend for sure Melanie narrowed her eyes and paused. As the Queen of Liars, Cheaters and Manipulators, she could smell a con a thousand miles away. You didnt say, Em. Did you hire a nurse?
Yeah, its, um, working out just great. Really great.
Apparently tired of waiting, Justin ran two hands up Mels legs, slow and lazylike, toying with what he found between them.
Melanies eyes crossed with lust. Did she really want to grill her niece when she had this gorgeous man ready and willing to worship her body?
Then that gorgeous man slid a finger into her. Okay, then, she managed to say. Ill call you in a few days to check up on you. Bye, sweetie-
Justin disconnected for her and tackled her flat to her back, holding her still while he smiled wickedly into her face.
What are you going to do with me now? she asked a little breathlessly.
This. Then he put his mouth where his fingers had been, scattering her thoughts like the wind.
BEN HAD GOTTENher pregnant. Seventeen years old, the world finally, finally, at his fingertips, and hed really screwed up this time. He reached for Rachels hand and found her fingers icy. Its going to be okay.
Choking out a laugh, she pulled her hand free. Really? How is that Ben? Im having a baby, for Gods sake.
Yeah. A baby. His stomach rolled, but that could have been hunger given he hadnt eaten since breakfast. Nothing new in that. Hed planned never to be hungry again on the other side of the planet.
With Rachel at his side.
Looking at her in the moonlight, with her long hair and haunting eyes, his heart constricted. God, he loved her. Ridiculously so. Whod have thought the no-good, black-hearted nobody had it in him to feel this way, as though he couldnt breathe, couldnt do anything if she wasnt in his world?
And theyd made a baby. By accident not design, theyd come together and created a life, a perfect little life, and suddenly his panic turned to something much lighter, something much closer tojoy. Marry me.
Ben-
Look, I love you, thatll never change. And wed have gotten married eventually, well just move the plans up a bit.
Butwhere will we live?
Well, well start out in South America, but-
Ben.
Well have to hit Africa in the fall, and then-
Ben.
He was losing her, he could hear it in her voice, so he kept talking, fast as he could. And then well go to Ireland, because-
She grabbed his hands, brought them to her heart. Her eyes were huge and wet, her voice so low he had to lean close to hear her. Ben, listen to me. You love me, and thats my own miracle, believe me, but I cant. I cant become Mrs. Asher.
So dont change your name, he said deliberately misunderstanding her. I dont care, Rach, I just want you.
She let out another choked sound, this one a sob. I cantI cant give you what you want. Were too different.
Different doesnt matter. He was going to have to talk her into wanting him. His stomach rolled and pitched again. No one had ever just wanted him, no questions asked. Look, Im going. Youre coming with me. We love each other-
No! God, you dont get it! Her face twisted. Idont love you. Okay? I dont love you.
He couldnt move. Couldnt breathe.
Im sorry. Drawing in a deep breath, she stood. Her eyes were still wet but inscrutable now, hiding herself from him. She was good at that. I wont see you again before you go.
With the words I dont love you echoing in his head like a bad refrain, he could just stare at her.
Goodbye, Ben.
Rach-
Go. Please, she whispered brokenly. Just go.
It was a hauntingly familiar request for him. She didnt love him and she wanted him to go. Fine. He wouldnt beg. Goodbye, Rachel, he said, but shed already walked away, vanishing into the night.
In hell with the memories, Ben woke up with a gasp. He lay in a white bed with white fluffy pillows, sweat streaking his body, air chopping in and out of his lungs as if hed been running a marathon.
Nope, not hell, but close enough. The walls seemed to close in on him, strangle him.
How fast could he get out of town? Out of the country? Asia should be far enough for today. Surely he could get to Asia. With a vicious oath, he scrubbed his hands over his face, just as someone leaped onto the mattress at his side. Battle-ready, he whipped around.