Twenty-four seven?
She pulled back and met his gaze, which was steady and sure. He was always steady and sure, she knew. Always. Not twenty-four seven, no.
So maybe youll find a few hours here and there for me.
Is that all you need, Jase? A few hours?
Hell, Lizzy He ran a hand down her body, squeezing her hip, flashing a little smile. I dont know what Im doing or where Im going, but Ill take whatever time there is until I figure it out.
In bed?
He laughed again, softly against her skin. Now youre just teasing me.
The idea of staying in his bed until further notice was intriguing and bone melting, but she knew herself. She knew how she felt about him after only one day. After a few weeks, or whatever he had, shed have given him her body and heart in unison, and it would kill her. I want to get moving.
I take it thats a no.
Jase. She sighed. It has to be.
So last night didnt do anything for you then?
She thought of how many times hed made her come, and felt her body respond to just the memory. Theres more than just sex.
Are you dumping me, Lizzy? he asked softly.
Her heart caught. Well, it is my turn.
I never dumped you.
Rejected me, then.
And I most definitely never rejected you.
Ran scared, she amended.
Now that He leaned in for another kiss. Thats the honest truth. He rubbed his lips over hers. Luckily, I dont run scared anymore. From anything.
No? She put her hand to his chest to hold him off. And to touch him. God, she was so mixed up. Well, apparently thats my thing now.
His eyes lifted from her mouth and met hers. So you really are going to run scared.
His tone suggested the ridiculousness of that, but it didnt make it not true. She was afraid, afraid of getting hurt. Maybe Im running scared of your eating habits.
Letting her get away with that, he turned back for a deeper foray into the cupboards and she let out a breath. When he came up with a can of ravioli, she shook her head.
Trust me, he said. Ive eaten a lot worse for breakfast.
She supposed he had and, looking into his face, which happened to take her breath, she found herself once again marveling at the man hed become.
I want to see where this takes us, Lizzy, he said, finding a can opener and two spoons.
Hopefully straight to Cece.
Not the raft, he said, handing her a spoon. You and me. I want to see this thing through.
Where its going to go is you going back to your job, and me to mine.
So black and white, then. No gray? He fed himself a big bite of cold ravioli, and then her.
She chewed it down and shuddered. Not when it comes to playing with my emotions.
His smile faded. You think Id play with your emotions?
She chewed it down and shuddered. Not when it comes to playing with my emotions.
His smile faded. You think Id play with your emotions?
Not on purpose, no.
He stared at her, then released a low breath. Okay, so you really let them pull a number on you.
Who?
Everyone and anyone whos gone in and out of your life without care. Pick one.
You dont know what youre talking about.
Really? So youre not this careful and guarded because youve never been hurt? Because you dont feel you can trust anyone?
No. Absolutely not.
Your parents left you.
They died!
Still hurts, he said very quietly. Still sucks. And they died, leaving a kid to raise a kid.
I was an adult.
Barely.
Jesus, whats the matter with you? She stared at him, then turned her back, hugging herself. I said were done and you have to psychoanalyze it? Youve never been turned down for a second date?
Technically, we didnt have a first date, he pointed out, pulling her back around to face him. Your sister is in constant-need mode, so you cant count on her. Who do you lean on, Lizzy?
She told herself she didnt understand where this was going, even as the anger welled up and nearly choked her. You really dont know what youre talking about.
No?
No.
So you dont use your fierce independence to sabotage your own happiness at every turn? he asked. You like counting on only yourself? Its worked for me, all right? She hugged herself tight, unhappy that shed ever opened up to him. And I have no idea what the hell youre talking about. We slept together for one night. It was practically an accident.
He raised a brow. So you accidentally came three times?
She struggled for words as she felt the heat flood her face. Were only here, together, because I needed a ride.
Lame, Lizzy.
Yeah, it was. And a cheap shot. Okay, so I needed more than a Jeep, and youve beenhelpful.
Helpful.
Indispensable, she corrected. But regardless of what comes next, theres no future between us.
In the thick silence that fell after that statement, they pulled on the rest of their rain gear and went outside, not touching, not talking.
Third Avenue was nearly unrecognizable, thanks to the raging river flowing down it. The rain pounded the raft and the water around them, making it sound like they were in a rain forest. There were no cars, no people, nothing but Mother Nature still on her tirade.
You think Ceces at your place? Jason finally asked.
I just dont know why she hasnt called. And that was the rub, the crux, the basis for the knot of worry in Lizzys throat. If Cece had gotten out, if shed gotten somewhere safe, she would have called by now.
Leaving Lizzy unable to help but picture her in labor somewhere, possibly alone, without a cell phone.
God. She could hardly bear the thought, and just as the burning in her throat threatened to overwhelm her, Jason reached out and took her hand.
She met his steadfast regard and felt his fingers gently squeeze hers.
Shed hurt him, on purpose, to make sure he kept his distance-that she kept her distance-and yet he was still here.
For her.
And she had to wonder, if under different circumstances, they could have made this thing work.
13
THE BABY IS GOING to come. Cece felt her panic bubble as she looked into Hunters eyes, a man shed known only for one day. Oh, God.
Okay. He said this utterly calmly. Hed held her hand and stroked her forehead for hours, throughout the entire night and morning. By some miracle, the water hadnt risen any more around them.
With dawn here, it wouldnt be long before they were found, but it wasnt going to happen in time.
Its getting light, he said. I can walk out-
Swim. You mean, youd have to swim out.
Whatever it takes. I can get you help now-
No. No, you cant. Please dont leave me.
He stroked her hair from her face. Id be right back, I promise. Cece, you might need more help than I can give you-
But the baby is coming.
I know, which is why I-
No, you dont understand. She dug her fingers into his jacket and tugged hard, yanking him down her level. You have to get down there and catch the baby.
He covered her hands with his, his grip firm and soothing. Okay. Okay, baby, dont you worry about my part, my parts easy.
Easy. She choked out a laugh. We havent even slept together and youre going to have to-
Look, its still pretty dark. I wont be able to see much.
Oh, God. She lay back and stared at the roof of the Hummer. I cant believe this is happening. I cant believe I finally turned my life around, that I finally met a really great guy, and nowthis.
You dont have to tell him, Hunter said quietly. You dont have to tell him about me.
She blinked through the haze of pain and felt another laugh ripple through her. I meant you, Hunter. Youre the really great guy I finally met.
Oh. He looked at her, then let out a slow smile that changed his usually solemn, quiet face. Transformed it. I thought I was just one of those assholes.
I was wrong. So wrong-Oh, God. Gasping as the contraction slammed her, she tried desperately to ride the wave of pain, but she was tired of riding. Tired of pain. So damn tired. Hunter!
Right here.
He was. He was right there. Which was more than she could say for any other man in her life, ever. I really dont think I can do this.
Sure you can. He continued to stroke her hair back from her face and smiled into her eyes. Youre almost there-
No, I changed my mind. I dont want to do this anymore. She knew she was just babbling, half-delirious, making no sense. Tomorrow would be better.
He shook his head with regret. I dont think you have that option, Cece.
No, seriously- She broke off on a thin wail as the insidious, all-consuming pain completely took her. It felt like it lasted forever, but finally, when she could breathe again, she closed her eyes and lay back, panting. Im done. Cooked. Finished. I want to go home.
Soon, he promised. Soon, Ill take you wherever you want to go.
Oh, God. I really have to push. Youre going to have to-
I know. He ran his hand over her leg as he slid down to a better position. Its going to be okay, Cece. Its all going to be okay.
How? she whispered miserably. Its never been okay. She knew she sounded like a child, but at the moment, facing what she was facing, she felt like one. Im going to be a mom, Hunter. Im going to be someones mom, and I dont know how.
Itll come.
Are you kidding? I can barely control myself. I mean, I gave up looking for trouble, I did, but sometimes I have the feeling its looking for me, you know? And no matter what I do, itll find me. She squeezed her eyes shut.
I do know. Look at me, Cece. When she did, she could see it in his eyes, that he really got it. Got her. You asked for my dirty laundry, and I was flippant. I used to be one of those assholes you gave up. But Ive changed. So have you. We can do anything now, including this.
Trust me, I cant. In fact, Im not going to. Im not. She shook her head wildly. Im just not going to do it.
Okay, listen to me. He was on his knees, between hers, looking fiercely into her face, his hands on her hips as he leaned in. Turning your life around is more than half the battle, I promise you. Everything that comes after that decision is icing, baby, all icing. As for not knowing how to be a mom, are you kidding me? You have all that life experience. Youll know exactly what to do. All thats left is believing in yourself.
She felt her throat close up a little, blocked by emotion. Im not sure Im that evolved.
Fine. Then Ill believe for you. Hows that? Ill believe in you enough for the both of us.
Why? she whispered, feeling something well up from within, something that felt alien but not unpleasant.