She was quiet as he bent to put on his shoes. When we had the big fires here last year, I worked four straight days without much more than a few catnaps. My entire life was the E.R., treating the firefighters, the victims, and when I finally got off duty and out into the parking lot where Id left my car, I had the weirdest thing happen.
He straightened. What?
I broke down. She lifted a shoulder. I just sat on the curb and cried like a baby for half an hour. I have no idea why.
He could picture it. Hell, hed lived it. That was sheer exhaustion, Lizzy.
Yes. After only four days of hell.
Knowing where she was going with this, he shook his head. Dont.
She walked toward him. I have to. Her gaze touched over each of his features, feeling like a caress. I felt that way after only four days of adrenaline and fear and craziness, so I can only imagine what its like for you after years.
Im fine.
Yes, she agreed. Very fine.
Her words made him want to smile but he held back because she didnt stop moving until they were toe to toe, until shed once again put a hand on his chest.
Clearly she wasnt finished with hacking at his hard-earned self-control.
Im sure theres a transition period, she said very quietly, giving him something he hadnt had any of and didnt want because it ripped at that control more than anything else could-sympathy. Between what youve been doing, and being here Her hand slid over his chest until she laid her palm right over his heart, which was not nearly as steady as hed have liked. I imagine theres a disconnect. A gap.
She had no idea. The size of the equator, he agreed, not thrilled that his voice came out low and hoarse.
She was quiet another moment, then reached for his hand. Dont worry, Jase, Im sure itll come to you, what you want to do.
Well, he was glad she was sure. Because he wasnt.
The moment broken, she dropped her hands from him and turned away.
He slipped into his rain gear while she did the same. He put two first-aids kits inside his backpack and shouldered it.
Two? she asked.
Who knows what well need.
Theres only a couple of inches so far.
Yeah, but even one inch in the wrong place can cause flash flooding, which can bring walls of water ten to twenty feet high. Trust me, theres a whole town out there thinking this is no big deal, but it can turn into one in seconds. Plus, if we find Cece and shes in labor-
When. Her voice was unyielding as she corrected him. When we find her.
If shes out there, he promised, well find her.
Yeah. She broke eye contact, getting busy with adjusting her rain poncho.
Reaching out, he lifted her chin, ran the pad of his thumb over the cut on her cheek. Well find her.
She nodded, hugging herself in all those layers. He had to work hard not to add his arms to the mix. Hed come here wanting to feel nothing, but look at him, feeling emotions all over the place. Shaking his head at himself, he opened the door and, as the wind and rain drafted in, reached for her hand.
Jason?
Yeah?
She looked up into his eyes. Thank you.
He took in the craziness of the storm. Power lines down. Trees doubled over. Several inches of rain sloshing at the curbs. A flash of Matts face came to him, and his gut tightened. Dont thank me yet.
4
CECEMANN PACED THROUGH the contraction. Miraculously, it was her first real pain, meaning it was the first one to make her want to twist some guys nuts off.
Actually, make that every guys nuts off.
Not so miraculously, she didnt like this whole labor business, not one little bit. Okay, she said to her belly, rubbing the insidious tightness swirling through her gut. I need you to give me a little more time. Can you do that, hold on for your momma? Please?
The pain actually faded, and she let out a breath. Thank you. Because I promised your aunt Lizzy we werent in labor yet, so lets just keep that promise, okay?
Shed read in one of the hundred books that Lizzy had brought her that even once her water broke she still had twenty-four hours before things went wrong.
That hadnt happened yet so that was good. Real good, she whispered, with no idea if she was talking to herself or the baby, but she thought, hoped, if she said it out loud, it would make it so.
She moved to the window of the second floor of the small condo shed rented a few months ago-her first true sign of independence. Every day the place gave her a sense of panic-the expenses were a weight about as heavy as the baby-and also a glorious, heady sense of pride. She was making it, on her own
She looked out into the wildest weather shed ever seen, and had a moment before she reverted and wished her sister was here. Lizzy would know what to do. She always knew what to do. She was Ceces lifeline, and had been nearly all her life.
Shed come, Cece knew, assuring herself, even though shed told her not to. Lizzy would come when she got off work, and being as bossy as she was, shed probably demand they go straight to the hospital.
Which might actually be a good idea. She had a feeling it was time. All she needed was a ride. If she had a neighbor she trusted, thatd be one thing. But shed never been good with trust. Unless it was a gorgeous guy. Those shed trusted too easily, and look where that had gotten her.
The next pain hit her unawares and left her reeling. Oh, shit, she whispered. This was going to suck golf balls, and forget being a grown-up, she wanted Lizzy. She tried calling her again, to admit that maybe she was in labor, but her damn cell phone went dead.
And she had no electricity to charge it.
Oh, God.
Screw not trusting a neighbor, she needed one. Problem was, the condo on her right was empty and for sale. Shed known someone had just bought the condo on her left, but she hadnt yet seen any sign of life. She imagined waddling over there, knocking, then greeting whoever answered with, Hi, there. Ever delivered a baby before?
The thought made her shudder.
No. No strangers. It was bad enough the father-to-be was a stranger, coaxing her into his badass truck one night, dumping her he next.
God, she hated the helplessness. She thought about walking to the hospital. From here it was only two miles, but in the storm, with contractions, that might as well have been a marathon. Besides, it was too risky. She could fall. She could get halfway there and go into the final stages of labor, alone. That thought terrified her even more than having a stranger help her.
Karma was such a bitch. Ive turned my life around, she reminded the room. I stopped finding trouble. I stopped letting it find me. Shed even gotten a real job. She was going back to school, taking classes at the junior college. She was making it all work, for the first time in her life, taking charge of her own destiny instead of letting it rule her. I am!
But Karma wasnt listening.
I promise, she whispered to God, to Lizzy, to whoever listened to such recklessly whispered promises, if I get out of this mess, this last mess, Ill keep it together. I will. Just give me one little break!
She felt a funny sort of pop, then the warm wetness on her thighs and, cringing, she looked down.
With a sigh, she shook her head. Not the break I meant, but thanks, Karma. Thanks a whole hell of a lot.
LIZZY GASPED AT the slap of cold rain as she and Jason ran through the storm toward her car. There she grabbed her bag and they turned to Jasons Jeep. A heavy gust had her staggering backward, fighting gravity, but Jason was behind her. Sorry, she gasped, her back plastered to his chest.
He merely slid an arm around her waist, helping her secure her balance. His feet were planted. He was a solid rock behind her.
But she was a rock, too.
And well used to managing on her own. She struggled to regain her footing, determined to do so, extremely aware of the fact that he stayed right at her back until she did, only dropping his arm when she nodded.
Water ran down her in rivulets, making her grateful hed given her the rain gear, and she stared in disbelief at the street, which appeared to be under a sheet of water.
Its rising fast, Jason said, voice raised over the wind.
Visibility was just about nil. The air was thick with rain and whatever the wind was tossing around-tree branches, sand, dirt, lawn furniture
Jason helped her into the Jeep, his hands on her waist, her hips. A light touch. An impersonal touch. Hed have helped anyone.
But she absorbed the feeling of his hands on her, the one on her spine, the one on her hip, both coaxing a shiver from her that had nothing to do with the icy air, and she realized something horrifying.
Her secret little crush, the one buried deep inside her, had renewed itself.
She watched as he came around the drivers side, moving with the easy grace of a man whod been trained and honed into a physical prowess she could only dream of.
He was as drenched as she, his hair dark and shiny, his lashes inky and spiky over those solemn and determined eyes.
Being wet suited him.
He tossed the backpack to the backseat and turned on the engine. What? he asked, meeting her gaze.
Nothing. At least she wanted it to be nothing. She put on her seat belt as he flicked on the radio, searching for local news. JasonI realize Im completely overreacting. In my heart, I know Ceces fine.
But you have to see for yourself. I get it. Its your hang-up, not hers. I feel the same about my baby sister.
She let out a low laugh. Ive just been in control for so long, Im having trouble letting go.
I get that, too. Loss of control sucks.
She got the feeling he was speaking from personal experience, but he turned his attention to the rain that pelted the roof, only partly drowned out by the heater, which he cranked full blast. She blinked out through the windshield wipers whooshing back and forth. The ocean to their left was a frothy mess, the waves higher than shed ever seen, splashing up and over the entire beach and onto the parking lot across the street, a sight that made her breath catch.
Evacuations are in effect from Eastside to Sixth now, the deejay said. Repeat-the streets on the Eastside are flooding. Stay off the roads from Eastside to Main. Head to higher ground from the west.
She looked at Jason. Theres no reason for both of us to risk our necks.
Youre going to piss me off with that.