You wanted to talk to me.
Youre avoiding my question. And she was avoiding the inevitable, she realized. But God, she wanted this last evening to be peaceful, up to the end.
Im not a saint, he warned, the muscles in his back tensing as he handled the heavy phone book. Dont look at me with rose-colored glasses.
I think Im seeing the real you.
Tossing the book aside, he rubbed his eyes, shoved his hands through his hair and sagged back against the counter. His exhaustion was a tangible thing, and it made her long to comfort him in some way.
Instead, she was going to make it worse. Ive got a better idea than fast food, she suggested. Why dont you let me cook for you and Sara?
At the unexpected offer he met her eyes across the room. His intense gaze heated her from the inside out.
I want to do something for you, Stone. Youre always giving. Let me give back.
A corner of his mouth quirked. Havent you done that already?
Again she laughed, surprising herself. I meant well, more.
His look was hooded. Sensual.
Im not talking about sex, you know.
Thats a shame, because were good at it. Pushing away from the counter, he strode purposely toward her, making her pulse leap.
Theres more than sex, she said quickly.
Yeah, theres making love. Snagging her hips, he drew her closer, then dipped his head and dragged that sexy mouth of his over her jaw, nipping as he went.
Stone. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, allowing his lips to connect with the throbbing pulse in her neck. Stone, wait, she moaned. Sara.
I know. He lifted his head and sighed.
He looked so tired. His face was lined with fatigue. His shoulders were slumped, and she suspected that only sheer willpower kept him on his feet. She placed her hands on his chest. So warm, so hard, she thought, her fingers spreading wide to touch as much of him as possible.
With a husky murmur he leaned on her.
Go lie down on the other couch, she said softly. while I cook.
Mmm. My bed sounds better.
Youre going alone.
Thats not as much fun.
Ill call you when dinners ready.
With a tenderness that never failed to surprise her, he stroked her cheek. There isnt much to work with, he warned.
Ill figure something out, she promised, pushing him from the room. Just go rest.
She watched him leave, then opened the freezer and realized he wasnt kidding.
It wouldnt be too hard, however, to whip up a meal of pasta and cheese bread. Stones kitchen wasnt too stocked, but he had the basics.
She glanced at the breakfast dishes still piled in the sink. It made her smile to picture him and Sara here this morning, rushing out the door together.
A tide of warmth filled her, tinged with bittersweetness for what shed lost. No, that was wrong. What shed purposely walked away from.
When shed set the table, she went out to get Stone.
She found him crashed out on the couch opposite Sara. He was too long for it, and as a result, he looked incredibly uncomfortable. Yet he seemed to sleep soundly. His feet hung off one end, his head the other, and she knew he would have a kink in his neck from that horribly cramped position. One arm was tucked awkwardly beneath him, the other flung wide over the side. His chest rose and fell rhythmically with his breathing.
As she watched, his face tightened, as if even in sleep he could find no peace. Moving closer, she kneeled at his side, gratefully using this time to have her fill of simply looking at him.
Hed changed clothing, and now wore faded jeans on those long muscular legs. Soft snug denim that outlined his every contour and, oh, his contours were nice.
It felt so good just to gaze at him. All those years when shed had only her dreams, shed missed him so much.
He was warm to the touch, she discovered, so she didnt worry about covering him. She kept her hand on his arm, stroking, then ran her fingers up and over his shoulder, over his wide chest. Some of his tension seemed to dissolve at that connection. When she cupped his jaw, he turned his face into her hand, remaining deeply asleep. But his frown faded and the lines in his face softened.
Tenderness nearly choked her.
What was she doing? God, she couldnt believe it, but she was falling hopelessly irrevocably in love with him for the second time. He was everything shed ever wanted-and the person shed hurt most next to her daughter.
He could never forgive her, never, and just the knowledge of that made her want to run away. But she was done running, forever. She would stay this time, stay and prove herself. She would.
Stone rolled slightly, trapping her hand between his warm body and the couch. Dont go, he mumbled.
Though she had no idea who he thought he was talking to, she blinked back tears and shook her head. I wont, she promised, her heart hurting from just watching him. I wont leave you ever again.
But eventually she had to; she was too tired herself to remain upright another second. She took the only remaining piece of furniture left in the room, the chair.
Sighing as she curled her legs beneath her, Jenna relaxed for the first time in far too long and watched the two people she cared about most in the world. There was something so peaceful, so freeing about watching them as they slept out their exhaustion.
Sighing as she curled her legs beneath her, Jenna relaxed for the first time in far too long and watched the two people she cared about most in the world. There was something so peaceful, so freeing about watching them as they slept out their exhaustion.
Her own eyes drooped. Just for a minute, while the pasta was cooking, she told herself, giving herself permission to close her heavy eyes. Just for a minute
The dream was the same as it had been every night since her horrific accident.
Excruciating pain. It insinuated itself into every nerve, throbbing and pounding. The blackness was good, welcome, but it wouldnt come close enough. It wouldnt swallow her up and take her away. And she couldnt move, couldnt see, couldnt breathe.
People moved around her, over her. Poking, prodding, causing more pain. More fear. No one spoke to her, or if they did she couldnt understand.
Alone.
Panic overwhelmed her. She heard her own pathetic whimper, but she couldnt stop herself.
Always so alone.
Ironically she wanted the one person she couldnt have.
Stone.
She wanted Stone. The only person to have ever been there for her.
Easy, sweetheart, a low male voice murmured close to her ear. When she whimpered, a big gentle hand stroked her face in time to the soothing rumbling endearments he was whispering.
Jenna strained toward that voice, eyes clenched shut, unable to shake the dream.
Youre going to be all right, the voice told her, still stroking, and somehow, miraculously, some of the pain became bearable. Her fear receded.
And he became Jennas entire world.
Wake up now. Im right here.
She jerked the rest of the way awake to find Stone kneeling at her side, staring worriedly down at her.
Just me, he said lightly, concern deepening the lines in his face. Just a dream, sweetheart, he said calmly, though his eyes were anything but. Okay?
Okay. She drew a deep breath. Just a dream. Closing her eyes, she savored the moment.
It was a doozy, he noted.
She felt him stroke the skin on her neck, her jaw. Felt his other hand on her body, firmly establishing contact so she wouldnt feel alone.
Want to tell me about it?
He had enough to deal with, yet was still willing to carry her burdens, too. She grasped his hand, overwhelmed by how much room he had in his heart. Im okay, she said, and sat up. Im sorry if I woke you.
No, my stomach did. He smiled, some of the worry still evident as he searched her gaze with his. Are you hungry?
Starved.
They stood, but Stone held her still when she would have moved to the kitchen. You can trust me, he told her. Lifting her chin, he met her gaze. With anything.
And amazingly enough, for a woman whod spent her entire life running from trust, she knew it to be true. And the thought gave her hope for the upcoming evening and her biggest risk of all. When she would indeed have to trust him with her very heart and soul.
Stone insisted on doing the dishes. Then, though it wasnt a school night, Sara was irritable and exhausted enough to want to go to bed early.
Which left Stone and Jenna alone in the living room, a low fire in the hearth and two cups of steaming tea in front of them.
Were alone, Jenna thought, nerves jangling. No better time than this.
That was when Stone turned to her with a curious little smile on his face.
What did you mean before? When you said you wouldnt leave me ever again?
Chapter 9
Jenna stared at him, her heart in her throat. You were sleeping, she said in an accusing voice she couldnt control, jabbing his solid chest with her finger. I know you were, I made sure!
He caught her hand in his and his smile faded. Yeah, I was zonked out like a light. Then I felt you touch me, and I was enjoying your attention. I knew if I opened my eyes, youd stop.
But God. Itd been different when shed wanted to tell him, but with him looking at her expectantly, concern filling his gaze, she lost some of her nerve.
That bothers you.
No. She would have leaped off the couch, but Stone slid his arms around her waist, anchoring her to his side.
What she would give to be able to lay her head on his very capable shoulder and cry it all out. To have him understand.
Shed given away that right long ago.
Now, holding herself rigidly away from him, Jenna forced herself to meet his questioning gaze. I didnt mean for you to hear me, but maybe its better that you did.
He frowned. Come here, he said quietly, tugging at her. Closer.
Still she resisted the incredible lure of his arms. I cant. She had to close her eyes for a minute or lose her resolve. Not until we talk about it.
I hate to hear you like this, he told her. Whatever it is, we can work it out.
I hope you still feel that way after we talk. For a moment pride deserted her and she clung, gripping fistfuls of his shirt, burying her face in his neck. Promise you will.
I can promise I feel something for you, he said slowly, stroking her back, his voice rumbly and deep against her ear. I cant imagine that changing.
She closed her eyes, breathing in his wonderful scent, and wished with all her heart she didnt have to do this.