Leaving her old life had not been much of a problem. For ten years shed avoided emotional attachments like the plague because she hadnt been able to trust anyone. No way would she risk her heart ever again, although now that vow made her angry at herself. Shed wasted so much time.
No longer.
Given the ridiculously huge amount shed been awarded in her settlement, she didnt have to work again a day in her life unless she wanted to-which she did. It had become vital to her mental health that she completely change her lifestyle. Not only did she want to face her past, but she wanted to settle here and earn her way.
And more than anything, she wanted Sara back in her life. Shed be lying if she didnt also admit she wanted Stone in that life, as well, but just remembering what shed blurted out at dinner had her face heating in mortification all over again.
She knew she couldnt tell him who she was-not yet. Not until he knew shed changed, that she was indeed a good person, though she herself was still working on really believing that.
While recuperating from that first meeting with her daughter and the man shed never forgotten, Jenna enjoyed the wonderful cozy new house shed purchased. It was on top of a hill overlooking the bay. Far below she could hear the ocean roar, watch the sun set on the water. It was a place that had represented happiness to her when shed been a girl on the other side of the tracks, and it was still a comfy old elegant neighborhood.
While getting her life together, she planned to slowly furnish and decorate the house in hopes that someday Sara would want to visit her regularly, or even live with her part of the time-although Jenna was almost afraid to have hopes for that far in the future.
Today was the first day of the rest of her life, she decided. And to prove it, she was going to call her sister. Then she would go to the office shed leased and set up her business, which shed rented because it was in the same industrial park as Stones workshop.
Before she could lose her nerve, Jenna picked up the phone and dialed the number the detective had given her, her pulse beating hard in her ears.
Her palms went sweaty. Her stomach hurt.
By the time she heard the soft-spoken hello, Jennas heart was pounding so loudly she almost couldnt hear herself think.
Hello? Kristen repeated, clearly annoyed. Is anyone there?
Hello, Kristen. Its meJenna.
Jenna? She heard the audible click of a breath being caught. Really? Jenna? Oh, my God- Kristen broke off so abruptly it was as if shed covered her mouth to hold all noise in.
Jenna squeezed her eyes shut as pain sliced through her. Shed known, hadnt she? Shed known she wouldnt be welcomed back with open arms.
Two years older than she, Kristen had run in a completely separate circle. Theyd never been close, mostly, Jenna realized now, because she had done everything in her power to push her perfect older sister away so that she could wallow in self-pity-self-pity over never being able to please her mother.
Jenna truly regretted that now, for Kristen could have been an ally in those terrible times, but it was too late. Far too late. Kristen didnt want to talk to her.
Im sorry, Jenna whispered. Its just that Ive been thinking about you a lot lately, about how things used to be. She couldnt even hear Kristen breathing. I I remember telling you I hated you. The shame nearly killed her, but she had to say it quickly before Kristen hung up. Even if they never spoke again, Jenna had to get it out. I didnt mean it, Kristen, I didnt. Its just that I was so angry I took it out on you.
A pained sound came over the phone.
Im sorry if I hurt you, Jenna said, closing her eyes. I never meant to.
Another indescribable sound. A muffled sob?
Jennas throat burned. Her eyes stung, and dammit, she shouldnt have put in her contact lenses, should have worn the thick glasses she kept in her purse for emergencies. I shouldnt have called-
No, Kristen finally managed. She gulped, sniffed and then gulped again.
Her sister was crying. Damn, she was no good at this. Kristen. What else could she say? What? Please, oh, please, dont cry. Im so sorry.
Jenna. Kristen sniffed and sighed. Oh, honey, Im glad its you. Ive been wanting She drew a ragged breath. Ive been hoping youd call me someday.
Jennas head swam as spots of relief blurred her vision. Youreglad? Youre sure? I thought at first, when you didnt say anything I nearly hung up, Im so nervous.
No, oh, no, Kristen said. I didnt mean to make you feel God. Im just so relieved, so happy, I couldnt talk for a minute. Apparently she no longer had that problem. Where have you been, Jenna? Kristens voice gained momentum as she regained her power of speech, though she still spoke in a tear-filled shaky voice. And why havent you called before? Ive been looking for you. For years. Years.
You have?
Yes. Say something else, just so I know Im not dreaming.
The fist around Jennas heart loosened. You sound the same. Perfect.
You dont sound the same at all.
Jenna would never sound the same again, thanks to the accident, but she didnt want to talk about that now. Youre sure? Youre really glad I called?
Yes! Where are you? Dont you dare hang up until you tell me, okay? Please, Jenna, let me see you.
Jenna hesitated, not because she didnt want to see her sister, but because she was so stunned.
Jenna! You are going to let me see you?
Jenna opened her mouth, uncertain how to prepare her sister.
Kristen started to cry. Please?
Kristen, Jenna whispered, blinking hard as her sisters soft sobs sounded in her ears. Dont cry. Its going to be okay. Oh, God, Im sorry.
No, dontdont be. Now she laughed, and that, mixed with the crying, made her difficult to understand, but suddenly Jenna didnt care because she was laughing and crying at the same time, too.
Im just so relieved youre okay, Kristen gasped. And youre alive. I didnt know, and-
Im alive.
It feels so good to hear you. Jenna, we never talked about what happened-about that big fight with Mom, and then
Yeah. And then.
They were both silent as Jenna pushed away the memory of the sexual abuse and then the humiliation that followed.
And then you got pregnant, Kristen said quietly. After that, you were gone.
The trouble had started about nine months before Jenna had actually left, on a night her mothers lover had tried to do more than just touch. Again her mother hadnt believed her, leaving Jenna no choice but to run away for the umpteenth time. Shed run to Stone, and that night theyd become lovers. What theyd shared had been magical, so perfect shed never been able to get it out of her head, which meant, of course, that the few relationships shed attempted since had paled in comparison.
Stone had really, truly loved her, and when Jenna realized that, it had terrified her. So had the ensuing scandal when Rand Ridgeway had gone public with his claim that Jenna had tried to seduce him, cleverly turning the tables on the terrified girl shed been.
I never meant to judge you, Jenna.
I was seventeen and pregnant, Jenna said flatly into the phone. Everyone judged me. Not just you and Mom.
Im so sorry for that, Kristen said in a barely audible voice. As soon as I was old enough to really understand how terrified and alone you must have felt, I regretted not trying harder to help you. What did you do?
I flipped out, Jenna whispered. Really flipped out. Just like everyone else. Except Stone. Hed been her rock, so strong, so caring. When everyone else had pointed fingers and snickered, suggesting she deserved her fate, Stone had stood like a pillar beside her. Her own mother had kicked her out, telling her to never come back. Jenna had been so stubborn, so filled with rage. She had baited her mother, letting her think shed been sleeping around. That she hadnt known who the father of her baby was. Jenna had no idea why, except that shed needed to prove something.
All shed proved was that she was an idiot.
Stone would have married me, she told Kristen now. He wanted to. But I
You couldnt handle it? Oh, Jenna, no one could have. Its all right.
Jenna had hated herself and everyone around her. I just ran. It had been easier for her to do so, although she flinched at the pain of it. At the unbearable agony shed felt the day shed sneaked out of the hospital after giving birth. She hadnt looked back and had made sure to keep herself in enough trouble that she knew they wouldnt want her back.
Until the accident. Until her second chance.
You can come back now, Jenna, cant you?
Hadnt she thought about little else? Yes. I wasnt sure youd want to talk to me.
I want more than that, Kristen demanded suddenly, her voice filled with a smile. Just tell me-when can we see each other?
Well Jenna walked with the portable phone into her bathroom to glance at herself in the vanity mirror above the sink.
A stranger stared back. A stranger with tentative hope in her eyes and a rare smile on her lips.
Jenna! You are going to let me see you, arent you?
Theres something you should know first. Jenna bit her lip to keep back her nervous laughter. If she gave in to hysterics now, shed probably never be able to stop. And its sort of a biggie.
What? You can tell me anything. Anything.
Okay. Jenna stared at her completely new face. But youd better sit down first. Ive got a shocker for you.
Jenna. Kristen laughed, and the years between them fell away. Nothing you could tell me will come as a shock, believe me.
Jenna smiled into the mirror. Wanna bet?
I can have the new prototypes ready in- Stone leaned back to study his calendar -four weeks tops. He hadnt started on them yet-hed been so busy with other work-but the order was a good one, and he would love the job of creating life-size wooden puzzles to tickle the minds of gifted second graders.
No, three weeks isnt enough time, he said firmly. He had his annual auction coming up, where he donated his creations to child-development centers all over the country. That would keep him busy.
His one-man shop was quickly growing by leaps and bounds, making him thankful hed gone with his gut instinct six years before, giving up a promising career in architecture. What he did now was infinitely more rewarding.