Im watching.
Watch-
Ill keep watching, Brooke said evenly, each and every time, though by the afternoon, she didnt feel so even. She missed Dustin. Believe it or not, Ive actually driven once or twice before.
You can never be too careful is all. Isobel eyed the speedometer. Watch-
Okay. Brooke took a deep breath. Still watching.
Sorry. Isobel flashed a small, conciliatory smile. I know Im a pain. Im just overly cautious.
Nothing wrong with that. If only Brooke had watched over her own broken heart as cautiously
Isobel was blessedly quiet until they turned on Third Street, heading toward their call, an outdoor beach café with a kitchen fire, where one of the cooks had passed out from the smoke and hit his head. A hundred yards ahead, the light turned red.
Isobel pointed. Watch- Then she caught herself, and cleared her throat. Nothing.
Brooke pulled up behind two fire trucks. They had the fire contained, but the flames were still impressive, leaping fifty feet into the sky. She and Isobel got out of their rig and immediately one of the firefighters came up to them. The vic vanished on us. Were still looking for him.
Isobel went back to the radio to report the information. As Brooke took in the fire, she was shocked to see Blake there, standing just off to the side. He was supposed to still be recuperating in the hospital. Shed visited him the day before, and hed been in no shape to be up. Worried, she moved to his side. Blake?
A low, raw sound escaped him and she took a closer look. He wasnt in his gear. He couldnt have been, not with the cast on his leg. His jeans were cut over the cast, and he wore a sweatshirt that looked odd, given it was at least eighty-five degrees outside. He leaned his weight on a crutch, but what caused Brooke concern was how pale he looked, and the fact that he was sweating profusely. Blake?
He didnt respond. Eyes locked on the flames, face tight, he seemed miles away.
When she set her hand on his arm, he nearly leaped out of his skin. Hey, just me. She sent him a smile he didnt return. You all right?
Yes.
You dont look it. Youre in pain.
Nah. Ive got enough pain meds in me to change my name to Anna Nicole Smith.
With a low laugh, she turned back to the rig and saw Isobel had located their vic. He was shaking his head, pushing her hands away before walking off. He didnt seem to want treatment. Looks like we dont have a transport after all. Can we give you a ride?
When Blake didnt answer, she looked at him-he was limping away with shocking speed. Running after him, Brooke caught up just as he got as close as he could to the flames without igniting. Blake, what are you doing?
At the sound of her voice, he jerked. Brooke? He blinked, as if surprised to see her, as if he didnt remember seeing her only two seconds ago.
Okay, you know what? Youre not okay. She put her hand on his arm. Lets go sit down.
What are you doing here?
Im working. On you. Why are you out of the hospital?
I dont know. He closed his eyes. Im sorry. I justIm sorry. For everything.
Come on. Lets get you back. Away from the fire and the pain she suspected he was suffering. Were in the way here.
He looked around and blanched. God, Im sorry.
For what, Blake?
I cant He shoved his fingers through his hair and turned away from her, but not before she saw a suspicious sheen to his eyes. Im so damned sorry. I should have handled this better. I should have stopped it sooner.
Blake? Stopped what sooner?
Staring at the flames, he appeared transfixed. I dont want to lose another partner. Or a friend.
What do you mean? Blake, done what sooner?
Lots of things, actually. He walked off, but again she stopped him.
I dont think being alone is what you need, Blake.
Please. He jerked free, his face tortured. Just leave me alone. Theres nothing you can do to stop it from happening.
What do you mean? But she was afraid she knew, or at least was starting to know. Blake-
Its not what you think.
But she was suddenly sure it was exactly what she thought. The arsonist was someone from within their own ranks. Possibly, terrifyingly, the someone standing right here in front of her. Okay, lets go over to the ambulance, and-
Isobel needs you.
Brooke turned back to the rig and saw Isobel waving at her frantically.
We have a call! she was yelling.
Brooke turned back to Blake. I have to go but I want you to come with me-
But she was talking to herself. Blake?
Hed vanished.
Chapter 17
Brooke ran back to the rig. Hopping into the drivers seat, she pulled out her cell phone.
No talking on the phone while youre driving, Isobel said.
Im not driving yet. She punched in Zachs cell phone number.
We have a call. Eighth and Beach.
I know, but this is an emergency, too. She got Zachs voice mail. Damn it. Zach, she said, very aware of Isobel listening to every word. I need to talk to you. ASAP. She shut the phone and tried to order her racing thoughts. We need to get someone else to take this call. Blake-
There is no one else. We need to go, now.
Fine. She handed her cell over to Isobel. Call the station, have someone come to get Blake. Then call Tommy Ramirez. Tell him- What? What the hell could she say? All she had were suspicions. Tell him I need to talk to him. That its urgent. Ask him to meet us at the hospital after we pick up our vic.
But Tommy didnt meet her. So after Brooke and Isobel had turned their patient over to the E.R., she tried the chief, and shock of all shocks, got him.
This better be important, OBrien, he said in his sharply authoritative voice. Im in a meeting.
Its about Blake.
The chief was silent for a single, long beat. What about him?
Brooke moved away from Isobel so that she could speak frankly. He was at the scene of the Third Street fire today, and he didnt look right. And Oh, God, how to say this? And I think he was trying to confess to arson.
You think? What the hell does that mean? And what arson?
He wasnt coherent. He- She frowned at the static in her ear. Sir? Hello, Chief? Shed lost him. Shit.
Youre not supposed to swear while in uniform, Isobel said.
Brooke contained the urge to wrap her fingers around Isobels neck and drove them back to the station.
The chief was there, waiting for her. Blake isnt at the hospital or at the fire.
Whats going on? Cristina stood in the doorway, looking unnerved. Whats the matter with Blake? Eddie went to go get him but he couldnt find him.
Hes missing, the chief said. And hes not answering his cell.
He was at the Third Street fire, Brooke told Cristina. He was walking with a crutch, definitely disoriented-oh my God.
The chief turned on her. What?
What if he went into the fire?
Why would he do that? Panic raised Cristinas voice. He wasnt suited up, he wasnt working-
But he wasnt himself, Brooke said slowly, reviewing their conversation. He was rambling, not making much sense, and just staring at the flames.
Rambling about what? Cristina cried.
He kept saying sorry about the fires, like he was trying to confess.
Cristina gasped and covered her mouth. He didnt-he wouldnt-
He didnt look good, and then we got a call. Hed vanished.
The chief headed for his truck with long strides while Cristina dragged Brooke inside, where she sank to the couch in the living room.
That building is gone, Brooke said. Completely gone. I should have stopped him. I should have-
You couldnt have stopped him, Sam said, coming in behind them. And hes not that stupid.
Cristina let out a low sound of grief.
Look, he hasnt been the same since Lynn died, Sam told her. Weve all tried to talk to him about it, but you know how he is. Hes Eeyore. Hes stubborn. But not stupid, he repeated. No way did he go into that fire.
He was hurting, Cristina whispered. He lost his partner.
And hes dealing with it. Dustin said this very gently, coming in from the kitchen. You cant do it for him.
Covering her face, she sank to the couch next to Brooke. This. This is why I like to alienate people. Goddamn it, you made me forget to alienate him and now I care!
Cristina. When she didnt answer, Dustin crouched at her side. Cristina.
Caring sucks, she whispered through her fingers.
He pulled them from her face. Not always.
She just stared at him.
Not always, he repeated softly. What I feel for you doesnt suck. And what Im hoping you feel for me doesnt suck.
Damn it. She closed her eyes. It doesnt. It only scares the living hell out of me. You should brace yourself now. She opened her eyes. Because Im maybe falling in love, too. And its all your fault.
Dustin looked staggered as he drew a shaky breath.
Dont you have anything to say?
Thank you?
She stared at him, then with a shocked laugh at having her own words tossed back at her, she lunged up and hugged him tight.
Desperate to take her mind off Blake, Brooke tried to be happy for her partner. Putting himself out there had paid off for Dustin, in a big way. It was right then that she realized she hadnt put herself out there for Zach at all. Instead, shed done the opposite, hiding behind her six-week time limit. Shed even said goodbye already.
You okay?
She opened her eyes to Aidan. Was she okay? She was leaving a job she loved in less than a week. Her grandmothers house was all but sold in spite of the fact that beneath all the clutter, shed discovered a gorgeous, well-tended home that seemed to say Dont sell me every time she walked in the door.
The truth was, this decision to move yet again wasnt being dictated by family or school or anything but her own fear.
Funny, really.
And damned ironic.
All her life shed been racing from one spot to another, and now she was free to do as she chose, go anywhere she wanted, andand all she wanted was to stay.
With Zach.
Brooke?
She looked at Aidan. Its nothing. Im fine.
Even if that was true, if youre fine, hows Zach?
When I left there, he was in a little pain but-
Not what I meant.
Yeah. She sighed. He wasgood.
Hes the master at good. Look, I love the guy, but-
Im sure you two will be very happy together.
Youre funny. He shook his head. Look, neither Zach nor I have ever really needed a woman in our life.
I know. I get it.
No, see thats the thing. Zach looks at you differently. He has from the beginning. If you leave, itll be like losing his parents all over again. Or his brother.
He lost his brother?
Caleb moved to L.A. the day Zach turned eighteen, pretty much deserting him. Cant blame the guy. He hadnt signed on to be a parent, but still, it was rough on Zach. Hes not good with opening up. Hes afraid.