When no one picked up Yales conversational lead, he reached over the table and grabbed another longneck. The thing that really messes with my head, he said, is that all this time, I thought it was Fiske. You know. Because it had to be the financial guy, because its always the financial guys who know how much money is really involved-and who know how to get to it.
I dont see how it could ever have been Fiske, Purdue said. Fiske had a heart of gold.
So do whores, they say.
Watch your mouth, Arthur scolded, but then quietly, I think anyone can be tempted to do anythingif the stakes are high enough.
And maybe the stakes werent money. Maybe it was something more important than money, Purdue offered.
Thats stupid. Theres nothing more important than money-at least when its big money. Yale sighed, then let out a gigantic hiccup. The thing is, if it was Fiske, then its almost the worst thing. Because the money might never show up. The formula might never show up. We not only wont have the money or the data, but the world wont have the damned cure. Well all be under a cloud of suspicion forever. You still suspicion us all, dont you, Harm?
Suspicion isnt a verb, Purdue said with disgust, and hauled him to his feet. Thats why I went to Purdue and you went to Yale. I wanted an education. You never got one. You dont even know what youre saying. To the others, Im taking him back to the boat. Although I might have to roll him there.
Ill go, too. Hans stood, followed by Ivan. All of them ended up hiking back at the same time. As if reflecting the groups mood, the clouds bunched up and produced another version of Alaskas summer rain-drenching them in a downpour as they climbed aboard.
Cate retreated to the galley, where she cleaned and fussed and rearranged-and then did it all over again. Over the next hour, voices and sounds gradually faded away. She assumed everyone had caved below deck, needing rest after the long day, but there was no chance of her sleeping yet. She wandered through the empty salon, pushed open the doors to the aft deck. The deluge had stopped, the skies were just barely dripping, and the lightning had faded to a luminescent pearl-gray.
Her pulse jolted when she saw Harm, leaning over the rail. The shadowed overhang concealed his expression, but his posture was both tense and exhausted. He was staring at the black-silver waters as if his worries were as impossibly deep as those seas.
Before Harm realized she was there, Cate figured she should back up and back off, head below. It was easy to guess he didnt want company-much less hers.
Since she never seemed to make the wisest choices, she edged closer instead. She didnt say anything, just leaned over the rail right next to him. She felt his startled stiffening. Ignored it. He was as alone as a man could be, had no one to turn to. Maybe that wasnt her problembut she was the only one who seemed to be able to do something about it.
Im not good company right now, he said.
He didnt say go away, but he might as well have. I cant imagine you would be. After everything that happened today, I figured you might be in a mood to kick someone around. Im not a bad kickee. You dont owe me anything. Im not in your company radar. And Im tough as nails.
Youre not remotely tough as nails. And quit looking at me that way.
What way?
He turned, just far enough so she could see his glower. You think I wont bite your head off-I will.
Go for it, she urged him. Bite.
The conversation didnt make much sense, but when he suddenly grabbed herthat made sense, she thought. He was pretty angry. Not at her, but at life. And at himself, she suspected, because he couldnt solve unsolvable problems and find answers out of thin air-which he apparently expected himself to do.
So his hands were rough on her shoulders. He yanked her closer. His mouth slapped on hers, communicating pressure and dominance, and probably he intended to arouse fear in her. He was one pissed-off kahuna, all right.
Still, she didnt back off and she didnt kick back. She did what any other lunatic of a woman would do.
She melted. Right into him. Closing her eyes, feeling herself going soft and pliant all over. Feeling the rush of sensation when his kiss darkened, deepened, took.
Thrilling. Hells bells, it was a word out of her grandmothers time, out of old movies in the forties in black-and-white. Real women werent thrilled by a guys kisses today. The whole idea was romantic and stupid.
Yet thrills kept shivering through her bloodstream, making her heart pound, making her knees feel weak. Making need shoot through her body with cat claws, sharp and real. It was just desire, she told herself. Nothing important. Just hormones.
But it didnt feel like just hormones. His mouth felt like an answer to a question shed never asked, the taste of him a spice and flavor shed never known, the heat and power of him something her heart had craved her whole life-even if shed never known it.
Her hands walked around him, closing around his waist, inviting the glue of his brick-hard chest against her soft breasts, his tense abdomen against her cushioning pelvis. Oh, yeah, she thought. This was worth dying for. Who knew?
When he suddenly jerked his head up, she just might have fallen if he wasnt still holding on to her. She had to intake a good gulp of air, and even then, her head still felt foggy. His expression, she noted, was still glowering. But the anxiety and exhaustion and world of worry was gone. He was still mad.
But now, he was only mad at her.
My God, youre trouble, he grumped.
Watch it. Compliments go straight to my head.
There. After that whole impossibly terrible day, she got a real smile out of him. Not that half-eaten grin hed unwillingly let through in the café, but a real chuckle, a sign hed thrown off a pound of that unbearable heaviness hed been carrying around. But he removed his hands from her shoulders as if suddenly realizing his palms had been cooking on a hot stove, and immediately leaned back against the rail.
I was married twice, he said abruptly.
Now there was a conversation starter. Yeah? Thats good.
His eyebrows shot up. Good? Most women run like hell when they hear that.
She suspected they did. She suspected that was exactly why hed mentioned that little bit of biographical information out of the blue. My theory is that pretty much all men run from commitment after theyve been burned twice. Even if they were to blame for doing a good share of the burning. Divorces are no fun for either side, or so I hear. Anyway, I appreciate your telling me. Now I know youre safe.
Safe. He rolled the word on his tongue, as if hed never heard anyone, much less a woman, call him safe.
Hey, Im footloose. Not looking for a commitment. So it wouldnt do for me to fall in love or you to fall in love with me. I dont like hurting people-or being hurt. And you know what, Harm? I think youve been hurt enough.
You dont know that.
I know you kiss like you mean it. Thats all I have to know. She pushed off the railing. The next time, though
He rolled his eyes. I hear the warning in your voice. The next time, what?
The next time, dont start something you dont intend to finish.
There now, shed shocked him again. She walked away, thinking shed done what she wanted to do-which was remove that exhaustion and stress from his face for a few minutes.
Of course, shed also the same as dared him to make love to her.
As she locked the door to her cabin, already chafing at the claustrophobic space, she told herself it was about time she learned to curb her impulsive tongue. But the internal scolding didnt last after she turned off the light. Yeah, shed dared him. Yeah, it was a foolish and risky thing to suggest to a man of his power and virility, with a life so alien to hers.
But she didnt regret it. She figured she should. That maybe she could talk herself into believing she didnt want to make love with him. But her heartjust didnt seem to swallow that good sense.
The next morning, when Cate heard the first sounds of voices in the dining room, she poked her head around the galley archway. Just pour yourself some coffee, guys. And start with the fruit. Ill be bringing in breakfast in two shakes.
Her galley, she knew, looked as if a cyclone had hit. Outside, a blazing sun seemed to wash away all the gloom and troubles from yesterday-which unfortunately didnt improve her own mood. She hadnt slept well.
As anyone with a brain knew, mess with the cooks sleep and everybody paid. She was grumpier than a porcupine with a tummy ache.
Her galley, she knew, looked as if a cyclone had hit. Outside, a blazing sun seemed to wash away all the gloom and troubles from yesterday-which unfortunately didnt improve her own mood. She hadnt slept well.
As anyone with a brain knew, mess with the cooks sleep and everybody paid. She was grumpier than a porcupine with a tummy ache.
One-minute warning. Yall better be sitting down, she called out. The Ebelskivers pan on the stovetop was hers. It took a unique pan to create the dish. The recipe for Danish pancakes was lighter than air, each one filled with a treat-like blueberries or cherries or a little orange marmalade or a scoop of wild honey. A few she filled with ham and cheese to make them more substantial. The boys could pick them up with their hands if they wanted. They didnt even have to use silverware. Need help?
There. Her heart slammed like mad out of the complete blue, even before she whirled around and saw Harm. The circles under his eyes were bigger than whales, a testimony that he hadnt slept any better than she had. But when a man looked that rough around the edges, how could he still exude so much virility and sexiness?
No, she said with no fanfare and no apology. As shed reminded herself fifty million times in the middle of the night, she barely knew the man.
So shed made a major judgment mistake and tried him. No one could be hopelessly addicted that fast. No one. Out, she said, and immediately turned around.
It wasnt tricky to make Ebelskivers. It was just tricky to make them exquisitely perfect, and Cate wanted them better than even exquisite. When she had a free second-and she only had a single free second because the Ebelskivers couldnt be left-she dashed into the dining room and put a glazed flowerpot of monkey bread on the table.