For a while, I was still teaching. I mean, I thought my life would basically be the same. Sure, Id have this fabulous nest egg and some luxuries, but I was still a teacher at heart. Its who I am, what I do. Only, the kids I teach are uniquely vulnerable, so when strangers started bugging me at school, the kids were affected. The principal gave me a five-star review for my job performance, yet at the same time he suggested I leave. Everything was different. People, my friends, the other teachers I was expected to pay if we went out to lunch. Or I wasnt included because I was suddenly perceived as different. I had men calling me. Men Id never met. Men I never wanted to meet. And then there was a break-in-it was just weeks after the inheritance. I hadnt really made many changes in my apartment. Well, some. The one thing I did pretty quickly was get a new computer, because mine was six years old and I was getting the blue screen of death all the time-
Maguire shot her a look. He didnt roll his eyes, but she got the gist.
Okay, she said, I know Im digressing. The break-in was the point. It really shook my timbers. But even worse was the steady round of lawyers and security people calling after that. And I forgot. There was a neighbor who came over, lost her husband, was hoping I could pay her rent for a while. Thenmy fathers second aunts grandsons wife was pregnant with a baby that needed some kind of expensive operation-
Carolina?
What?
I know all this, he said patiently. Im surprised you didnt cave long before you did. The way the doctors explained that hysterical deafnessit was your body giving you permission to shut down and quit listening to everyones demands. Losing your hearing was self-defense.
Whatever. Heres the thing I wanted to say. You know what? This is really your familys money. Not mine. Why dont I just give it back to you.
No. Not an option.
Just listen to me, all right? Ive lost just about everything that matters to me. My job. The family relationships I thought were strong and solid. Friends. The things I loved to do, loved to be part of, always took for granted. And you know what?
Maguire wiped a hand over his face, tucked his chin on a fist. What?
When you first kidnapped me, I kept thinking how weird it wasthat I wasnt afraid. But now I actually get it. Because my reality is that I couldnt be a happier kidnappee. I dont want to go home right now. I really dont.
And youre not.
But all those problemsll go away if you just take the money back. Wouldnt you like all those millions? she asked coaxingly.
Maguire got this expression on his face as if he were fighting not to laugh. Fighting to believe she was for real. I have more than enough money than I could ever use or want, Cee. So, no.
Okay then. How about for Tommy? How about if I give it all to Tommy?
Tommy couldnt use another penny in his lifetime. Hes got a fortune. All in safe, secure trust funds.
Still. She was warming up to the idea. You could burn it if you wanted to. Or throw it away. I always thought I wanted heaps of it. That itd be so much fun to buy anything I wanted. That Id feel so much safer if I had security in the bank. And thats been the craziest part. Its not fun. And I dont think Ill ever feel safe again.
Yes, you will, he said quietly, forcefully. You can make different choices-
I know, I know. I could always choose to just give it all away. And in principle, Id love to do that. To pick people and causes who really needed something, or someone, to come through for them. Only, Maguire, I learned the hard way that itll never be like that. Because no matter who I give to, someone else will be mad that it wasnt them. Or mad that I didnt give enough.
But theres still another choice-
I know, I know. You think I havent thought this through? I could start all over under an assumed name. That has a lot of appeal. You probably think its the best choice. I mean, Ive been whining about what awful people my family and friends have turned into, havent I? But I just cant see giving them totally up quite yet. I mean, theyre my whole history. Warts and all, theyre still my blood. Maybe my life is broken right nowbut getting even more broken doesnt make any more sense, does it?
No. And there really is another choice, Carolina.
What?
But just then Wilbur emerged from the front cabin, ordering them to strap in because they were imminently landing.
For the first time in hours, she glanced out the window. She hadnt asked where they were going-didnt really care-and her internal time clock was so topsy-turvy that she didnt have a clue what time it was. But there was some kind of ambient pale light outside, enough to reveal breathtaking, snow-covered mountains, higher than any shed either seen or dreamed of.
Where are we?
In the air, Maguire said dryly.
She flashed him a look. I might just sock you on general principle. Answer the question.
Were at one of the places thats going to help you find the answers youre looking for.
I hate cryptic. Just so you know.
All right. Ill answer you straight. Were going to a place where youre going to get good and muddy. Muddier than youve ever been in your entire life.
Muddy? Huh?
Chapter Five
He meant it. The crazy man actually meant it. Carolina remembered the lists hed made her create, that somewhere shed mentioned wanting to sleep in a real castle, something else about wanting a spa weekend. At the time, shed thought the whole thing was a joke. Nothing anyone would take seriously.
Yet the green mud completely slathering her body was unquestionably real.
And so was the castle.
Youre not too cold, mamselle? Too warm?
Im perfect, Carolina assured the tall Amazon with the serene blue eyes and hands of steel.
Are you thirsty? Would you care for a drink?
The last time shed admitted to thirst, Greta had given her some god-awful herbal concoction that made her eyes sting and her tongue pucker. It wasnt safe around here to admit wanting or needing anything.
Im fine, she said.
All right. Now, you close your eyes. Ill be back in thirty minutes, after the clay has set.
The mud-clay had already started setting. She was increasingly feeling like a naked mummy. A naked green mummy. The castle was located in the Alps-whether Swiss or French or Italian, she had no idea. But it was perched on a cliff top, accessible only via helicopter, and the once-classic structure had been turned into an elegantly exotic spa. The place had a great room draped with impossibly tall silk tapestries. The fireplaces in half the rooms were bigger than she was. The floors were all stone or marble, but heated beneath the floor, so it was warm walking around, even in bare feet. Fountains decorated almost all the rooms, as did candles. The view outside was of treacherously tall mountains, draped with a white ermine cape of snow. Inside was luxury, pampering, softness, gentle music.
Youre surviving in there, Cee?
She heard him. Maguires sexy tenor was unmistakable. He was in the next room-sort of an anteroom hed turned into a makeshift office. It had a laptop, printer, fax, all the usual office suspects, although she hadnt once heard a telephone ring. She concluded Maguire had forbidden telephones anywhere near her.
Hed disappeared from physical sight, once the Amazonian Greta had shown up to slather her in mud and seaweed. He was just within calling distance, and asked how she was doing on a regular basis.
He hadnt looked. Not the whole time shed been stripped down, gooped up, smoothed, encased in oils and warm towels and then this clay-mud thing. It was more than a little weird, being naked with strangers. But enticingly weird, knowing Maguire was in the next room, always close enough to call for him.
It was impossible not to be aware that she was naked. That he knew it.
Of course, she was coated in green slime, so heaven knew why sex was on her mind. Probably hed run for the hills if he saw her.
Doing good. You getting business done in there?
Yeah. Funny world today. It doesnt really matter where you are, its not that hard to communicate with anyone at any time from any place.
He hadnt looked. Not the whole time shed been stripped down, gooped up, smoothed, encased in oils and warm towels and then this clay-mud thing. It was more than a little weird, being naked with strangers. But enticingly weird, knowing Maguire was in the next room, always close enough to call for him.
It was impossible not to be aware that she was naked. That he knew it.
Of course, she was coated in green slime, so heaven knew why sex was on her mind. Probably hed run for the hills if he saw her.
Doing good. You getting business done in there?
Yeah. Funny world today. It doesnt really matter where you are, its not that hard to communicate with anyone at any time from any place.
Maguire.
Yeah?
You set this up because it was on my list.
Well, yeah. It was an easy twofer. You wanted to sleep in a castle. And do the spa thing.
I want my list back.
Nope.
I thought it was a game. Just something silly. I dont want or expect anything else from that list.
Uh-huh. Damn, I seem to have a fax coming in, and need to do some business here for a while
Right. She believed the moon was made of cheese, too. Maguire somehow never answered questions he didnt want to answer. And even though shed spent long days with him now, she still didnt know where he lived, or what he did with his time.
If he had a woman in his life.
Or what hed thought of those kisses theyd shared a few days ago. She really wanted to know if theyd haunted him the way they were haunting her.
Temporarily, there was no possible way to address the idea. Greta showed up again, did more terrifying things. It took ages to rinse off all the mud, and then she was coated with warm spicy oils and rubbed down. After that, her feet and hands were encased in warm packs, and her hair coated with something that looked like mayonnaise and smelled like vanilla.
By the time she was starting to feel like a recipe, Greta let her shower the whole thing off. Her hair was dried, her toes and nails pampered. She was snuggled into a black, whisper-satin gown like the kind movie stars wore in the forties, warned that shed need a good long nap after all the treatments, and put in a wrought-iron elevator.