There is no our, MacDougal. When he sipped his coffee and said nothing, she prodded him, So? So? What is this big problem supposed to be?
Pete raised a hand. This was a serious question, no teasing. I have to know what shes trying to do. Your sister. I mean, I read up on lavender, so Id get an idea why anyoned grow the darn stuff. But its not as if Violet planted a little flower garden here. Apparently she bred and crossbred all kinds of varieties. In France, now, lavenders a major crop in the perfume industry-but its about the oil, not about the flower. Unless your sister planned to grow enough flowers for all the florists in the entire northern hemisphere, I have to assume she was hoping to harvest the oil. Only I dont see any harvesting equipment to extract the oil. I dont even know if shes looked into potential markets. Theres only so much money you can pour into this if-
I hear you. Ill sit on my sister and find this stuff out. Camille had seemed to be listening, but suddenly she blurted out, Whend she leave you, Pete?
Huh?
Your ex-wife. When did she leave you and the boys? I figured it couldnt have been long ago, because the hurt seems pretty fresh. The boys really talk up how much they dont miss her. How much they dont love her. How much they dont care.
Pete chugged down the coffee, but only so he could set the mug down. He hadnt come here to talk about this. Yeah, well, its been a couple years. Almost three. Its my dad who feeds them that kind of anti-women talk, making out like its fun to live like bachelors, not need women, all that. You know my dad.
I used to.
So you know he adored my mom. Nothing anti-women about him. I dont understand why he keeps pushing the attitude on the boys. It seems as if he thinks well all be hurt less if we just pretend we dont need women in our lives.
They really do seem like good kids, Pete.
They are. But its always there, you know? Hiding in the closet. That their mom left them. That she loved them so little that she could just take off and not look back. Reality is, she took off on me, not them. But thats not how kids see it. Pete frowned. He wasnt sure why he was spilling all this stuff. He couldnt remember talking this much about Debbie or the divorce. To anyone.
And Camille was suddenly frowning right back at him. Its none of my business.
Actually-it isnt.
She was on her feet faster than a flash. Its not as if I care. I only started this whole conversation to tell you that I didnt want your help, or your boys help, or anyone elses help.
He stood up, too, thinking the damn woman was more mercurial than a summer wind. For a minute there, shed not only listened about the scope of the lavender problems-which she sure as hell had no way to know about, coming in cold to the farm after all this time. But shed also asked about his sons and the divorce situation as if she actually cared. Without thinking, he murmured, I keep getting glimpses of the Camille I remembered. The Camille you used to be.
Wrong thing to say. Scarlet streaked her cheeks faster than fire. Well, Im not that person. That girls gone forever and never coming back, so if you were thinking-
I wasnt thinking anything, so dont be tearing any more bloody strips off me. His voice dropped low. Lower than a bass tenor and quieter than midnight. Cam, I understand anger. If Id been through what you have, Id be tearing the bark off trees. Im sorry youve been through such hell. But Im not part of anything that hurt you. Im just an old friend who happens to have the means and time to help you with the lavender. And Ive got two sons who are teenagers, which means theyre selfish as hell, and that means itll do them good-for their sakes-to put in some hours doing something for someone besides themselves. Now, thats all thats going out there, so quit giving me a murdle-grups.
Her father used to use that Scottish term-murdle-grups. It meant bellyache. And Pete thought using it might make her smile. But apparently shed scared herself, having a conversation with him as if she cared. She didnt want to care. Not about him. Which she seemed obligated to make crystal clear.
Her chin went up a notch. Im not keeping the dog.
No?
Her chin shot up another defiant inch. Ive been tending him. I admit that. But Ive only been taking care of him because I didnt want him put away. The very instant hes better, Im finding him a home and getting rid of him.
You do that. Thatll show me how mean you are, he goaded her.
I am mean.
Aw, hell. It was such a stupid conversation that he couldnt think of a single reason to continue it. So he grabbed her and kissed her instead.
What else could he possibly have done? She was just standing there, fists on her hips, looking like a waif against Goliath. She wasnt going to quit challenging him unless he did something.
This time, though, she knew his kiss.
She knew the taste of him.
She knew the risk of him.
And for damn sure, Pete knew how much trouble she was. Or he thought he did.
Before hed severed the first kiss, he was already coming back for another, his fingers disappearing into her thick, damp hair, his body picking up her body heat-even through the huge shirt she was wearing. Her impossibly soft skin was another aphrodisiac pull-and he didnt need any more pulls. She was already yanking every emotional chain he had.
Hed managed without since Deb left. No question that he was more primed than a lit stick of dynamite, but in all this time, it was easier doing without than volunteering for any more wear-and-tear on his heart.
He knew, instinctively, that Camille would risk more wear-and-tear than maybe his heart could handle.
But she kissed like the loneliest soul he knew. She kissed as if he were her first. As if she was shaky-scared and still couldnt turn away. As if she was starved to touch and be touched, to hold and be held. As if shed die if he let her go.
One kiss seeped into another, whispered into another, danced into another. A counter jammed into his back as he pulled her closer in, dipping down for another slower, deeper kiss. His fingers trailed down, kneading her shoulders, then molding down her back. Her breasts tightened, snugged against him so he could feel her bare nipples, smell the perfume of her skin, feel the frantic beat of her heart.
He found her soft, silken lips again. Heard the murmur of a groan deep inside her throat when he took her tongue. Her responsiveness caused his pulse to jack-hammer. He lifted her tighter, higher, closer to him, nestling her between his thighs.
She kissed back like a summer storm, all heat and lightning and surprise. Hell. How could such a small package have been hiding so much explosive passion?
He thought: it wasnt that she wanted him. It was that shed been alone so long. He thought: it couldnt be that he mattered to her, because half the time she was furious with him. In his head he understood-really understood-that this wasnt likely about him. Shed just been so lost since her husband died that being kissed and desired opened a door that had been rusted shut with grief and pain.
But just then, just for that minute, he sucked in those hot, wet kisses of hers. Inhaled the lush feeling her busy hands invoked. Smelled her skin, inhaled the earthy sweet sounds of longing she made. At least until she nipped his neck.
And then his eyes bolted open and he lifted his head with a little shock-and humor. You bit me, he murmured.
What can I say? I missed lunch.
But you. You. Actually bit me.
Youre telling me a womans never taken a nip of you before, MacDougal? What, have you been with all sissies?
Campbell, are you flirting with me? From the minute you came home, youve given me grief nonstop.
It wasnt personal. Ive given everyone grief. Temporarily, though, all I can think about is having you for lunch.
Nobody have given him a sudden ticket to Never Never Land. Reality was all around him. The silky sunlight. The dust. The sound of birdsong. The smells of bad coffee and verdant earth and flowering almond outside the window screen. Yet all he could see was her wildly tumbled hair, the ache in her eyes, her mouth swollen from his kisses. Her face was still, her gaze searching his just as urgently as his searched hers.
Whats going on here? he asked gently.
Maybe Im trying to scare you away.
And you think Ill scare?
Silence. Then she touched his cheek with her fingertip. Yeah, I do, Pete. I dont know why you keep kissing me. I dont know why you keep trying to help me. But you have to know that Im a walking catastrophe. I cant fit in your life, in your sons life. Im not ready for any kind of relationship. Im not ready for much of anything.
Yeah. So?
A whisper of a grin, the first natural one hed seen on her lips. Dont get sassy with me, you dolt. Im serious. If you come on to me, you could get what youre asking for. Trouble. So you think it through real good before you kiss me again, you hear?
Slowly, she pulled completely free from his arms, then turned around and simply walked out. The screen door clapped behind her.
The damn woman had left him in her kitchen. And he stood there for a good five minutes, feeling as dazed as if someone had smacked him upside the head-or upside the heart. God knew what he was going to do about her. Right then, for sure, he didnt have a clue.
Five
Nothing had gone well for the entire week, and as far as Camille was concerned, it was all Petes fault. Hed rattled her. It was one thing for her high school crush-the heroic icon of her whole darn childhood-to turn into a living, breathing man who seemed to be attracted to her. But entirely another thing for her to respond to him.
Obviously there was nothing serious between them-and couldnt be. It was just a matter of shaking off this constant rattled feeling. So shed withdrawn. Specifically, she tried holing up in the cottage the way she had those first weeks, but that no longer seemed to work. The darn dog took all kinds of time and care. And the lavender simply had to be tended. And then, Petes boys kept showing up to help her.
Camille was all for denial and cowardice and hiding out, but dagnabbit, a woman couldnt even be a neurotic hermit in peace around here.
She hiked the driveway between the main house and her sisters Herb Haven business. Clouds had started building before noon, and now they were chasing across the sky, tumbling over each other, bringing a storm in their shadows. Since shed been chased out of the lavender field because of the inclement weather, she figured she might as well use the time to suck it up and seek out her sister.